Instead of Avoiding Your Pain, Work Through It


“Let us fill our hearts with our own compassion.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“Mom’s concentrating,” I tell my kids as I clean up after dinner. I suggest a game to keep them occupied. “How many words start with A?”
As I inspect the crumbs under the kickboard, I pay just enough attention to hear them play along.
“Mom. L!” (I must have drifted off.)
“Right. L is for?” And they’re off again. Be more present, be more present, be more present, I think.
M…N…O…I laugh to myself when we reach P. P is for pressure, that’s what, …

“How pleasant is the day when we give up striving to be young or slender. ‘Thank God!’ we say, ‘those illusions are gone.’” ~Alain de Botton
Are you high functioning at school, college, or in your career, but dysfunctional with food? I was.
I’ve always been ambitious. I see things, and I wanna do them too, even better!
It’s a powerful trait, but unruly—like living with a big dog. Sometimes it strains on its leash and pulls you along further than you thought you’d go. And sometimes it knocks you onto the carpet and stands over you, panting, with its …

“You’re too fat to wear that tight shirt to the gym.”
“You’re not smart enough to take the lead on that project at work.”
“You’re definitely going to screw up the vacation plans.”
“You’re not good enough, cool enough, likable enough.”
“You suck.”
If we talked like this to anyone, it would be considered bullying.
And yet we talk to ourselves like this all the time.
We talk to ourselves in a way we would never talk to people we care about. We take these words to heart and believe them as truth.
We turn these words into …

“When you find no solution to a problem, it’s probably not a problem to be solved, but a truth to be accepted.” ~Unknown
For the longest time, I swore I’d never get married or have kids.
Growing up with an alcoholic father, in a domestic violence situation, shattered my young spirit and left me putting the pieces back together for years.
Since I didn’t see healthy coping skills growing up, it’s no wonder I grappled with my own addictive behaviors. I struggled with self-worth, focusing solely on accomplishments to fill a void inside of myself.
Externally, people saw a well-adjusted, …

“Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light.” ~Yogi Bhajan
For years, I avoided travel. Just the thought of leaving home made me anxious. I dreaded the crowds, the confusion, and the sense of disconnection from both my daily routine and my spiritual practice.
Over time, I came up with some great reasons not to travel, but I always knew those excuses were keeping me from exploring new places, meeting new people, and living my life to the fullest.
I continued to avoid traveling until family members moved across the country, and then I had no choice. …

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” ~Brené Brown
Do you have the courage to love yourself and set the boundaries you need?
For years I didn’t, and wondered why my life didn’t work. I didn’t really understand what boundaries were or why I needed them.
My severe lack of boundaries allowed me to give away my energy, time, power, and love to others, leaving virtually nothing for myself.
For years I lived in a perpetual state of lack, feeling like I wasn’t enough. Looking back, it makes sense …

“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” ~Brian Tracy
I’m a fool.
Well, it’s more accurate to say I’ve been a fool often, and I’m ashamed.
My life, no different from many, has had some successes but also many setbacks and outright failures. I suppose this is just another way of saying I’ve lived.
The problem is that I’ve allowed my mistakes, errors, and failures to hold me back.
We’ve all felt like a fool before, but when has doing so made it …

“There is nothing in nature that blooms all year long, so don’t expect yourself to do so either.” ~Unknown
Recently I’ve been spread incredibly thin, and, at times, I’ve felt stressed to the max.
In addition to being at the tail end of a high-risk pregnancy, with complications, I’ve been working toward various new projects—not just for fulfillment but also because I’ve allowed the business side of running this site to slide for years. And I have a baby coming soon. It’s crucial that I revive what I’ve allowed to deflate because I’ll have a whole new life to …