You’re Not Behind; You’re Just On Your Own Path
The Best Thing to Say to Someone Who Won’t Understand You
“True love is born from understanding.” ~Buddha
I believe one of our strongest desires in life is to feel understood.
We want to know that people see our good intentions and not only get where we’re coming from but get us.
We want to know they see us. They recognize the thoughts, feelings, and struggles that underlie our choices, and they not only empathize but maybe even relate. And maybe they’d do the same thing if they were in our shoes.
Maybe, if they’d been where we’ve been, if they’d seen what we’ve seen, they’d stand right where we …
How to Trust That You’ll Be Okay No Matter What
“The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next.” ~Ursula K. Le Guin
Did you play with cootie catchers as a kid?
You picked a number and watched anxiously as your friend counted it out. Open. Close. Open. Close.
You chose a color or picture or word and waited in anticipation as your friend unfolded the flap and read your destiny.
Or how about that MASH game? Mansion, apartment, shack, house?
I played these games with an insatiable desire for all the details.
How is all of this going to play out?
Where …
From the Spouse of a Narcissist: Here’s What You Need to Know
“You can recognize survivors of abuse by their courage. When silence is so very inviting, they step forward and share their truth so others know they aren’t alone.” ~Jeanne McElvaney, Healing Insights: Effects of Abuse for Adults Abused as Children
When I first met my husband, when he had just started medical school at a large university, I thought he was just insecure. I believed that he would grow out of his need to be the center of attention, receive constant validation, and appear correct and knowledgeable about everything.
I believed he would become surer of himself and would …
How Unhealed Childhood Wounds Wreak Havoc in Our Adult Lives
“The emotional wounds and negative patterns of childhood often manifest as mental conflicts, emotional drama, and unexplained pains in adulthood.” ~Unknown
I am a firm believer in making the unconscious conscious. We cannot influence what we don’t know about. We cannot fix when we don’t know what’s wrong.
I made many choices in my life that I wouldn’t have made had I recognized the unconscious motivation behind them, based on my childhood conditioning.
In the past, I beat myself up over my decisions countless times. Now I feel that I needed to make these choices and have these experiences so …
Why Speaking My Truth Is the Cornerstone of My Recovery
“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits—anything that kept me small. My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.” ~Kim McMillen
I like to think of my inner self as a curly-haired stick figure who lives inside my chest cavity. Like most inner selves, mine has a simple, childlike quality. She smiles when she’s happy and cries when she’s sad. She has an intuitive sense of what is right and wrong. She speaks her needs simply, the way a young girl might.
My inner …
How to Listen to Your Body and Give It What It Needs
“And I said to my body softly, ‘I want to be your friend.’ It took a long breath and replied, ‘I’ve been waiting my whole life for this.’” ~Nayyirah Waheed
For more than half my life, I took care of my body “by the numbers.” Every day, I walked a certain number of steps, no matter how sore, sick, or tired I was. I worked a certain number of hours, often going without sleep in order to finish my work and check off all the numbered items on my to-do list, no matter how my body begged for rest.
For …
Why My Grandfather Was Happy Even When He Was Dying
“It’s not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean.” ~Tony Robbins
Is there anyone in your past that inspired you to become the person you are today? For me, that was my grandfather, Charlie.
Charlie grew up a poor farm boy in a small South Carolina town and ended up an executive in a Fortune 250 company. He was a poster child for the American dream, and I respected him for it.
But what I admired most was his character. Charlie was always content with life, regardless of his circumstances. …
5 Things to Remember When You Feel Ashamed of Your Flaws
If you asked me when I was younger what I wanted to be when I grew up, I may have answered perfect, or famous, which is incredibly ironic. I simultaneously craved a spotlight while fearing what it might reveal—my inadequacies, my weaknesses, my flaws.
I thought being perfect meant being beyond reproach—undeniably lovable and worthy of respect, something I didn’t always receive growing up.
And I assumed that if I were perfect in all ways, I could finally relax and enjoy my life because I could trust that no one would judge or hurt me. I could navigate the world …
How I Stopped Being Busy and Why I’m Now More Fulfilled
“Sometimes doing less is more than enough.” ~Kris Carr
Two years ago I made a radical lifestyle shift.
Prior to this change, I was constantly striving to do more, to achieve more, to be more. I was squeezing as much as I could into any given day. I was in conflict between building a business, working, studying, and having time for pleasure and fun. I was taking on way too much and losing myself in the process.
Building a business is a lot of work, far more than I had imagined, and it takes time to generate consistent revenue that …
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