Menu

Tiny Wisdom: On Being Vulnerable

By in Attitude, Quotes

“What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.” ~Brené Brown

To be vulnerable is to be free.

It gives you a break from trying to pretend you’re always right and you don’t have any flaws. It gives you permission to show your authentic self and stop taking responsibility for the way other people perceive you. It allows you to try new things and take the risk of feeling awkward or uncomfortable.

It also opens you up to the possibility of pain. We never know when we let our guard down that other people won’t hurt us, unintentionally or otherwise.

We can…

Learning to Receive: 5 Steps to Opening Up

By in Blog, happiness & fun

Arms Open

“We must never forget that it is through our actions, words, and thoughts that we have a choice.” ~Sogyal Rinpoche

I grew up deep in the “Bible Belt” in Texas, and along with that came the teaching that certain beliefs were never to be questioned. This kept life simple and reduced choices, but it also left me with the baggage of dogmas I no longer accept.

One of the mainstay beliefs was “It is better to give than to receive.”

Somehow, this one has held on in my head, in my heart, deep in my innermost belief system. Never mind …

Tiny Wisdom: On Runaway Thoughts

By in Attitude, Quotes

“Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts.” ~Buddha

For the vast majority of my life, I took pride in being a fighter–which meant I was always ready for an attack so no one else could hurt me. The irony is that because of this mindset, I frequently hurt myself.

I was too busy guarding myself against other people’s negative intentions to create positive intentions of my own. I was too preoccupied judging and doubting people to connect with them on a meaningful level.

The people and things I fought weren’t the problem; my thoughts …

Transforming Negative Thoughts & Creating the Life You Desire

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

Cheerful young african woman smiling

“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.” ~Lao Tzu

In my quest for personal development, I’ve done a ton of processing, meditating, reading, praying, exercising, eating well, and helping other people. All of these things are amazing, and I still do them regularly, but none of it matters if I don’t guard my thoughts as though my life depends on it.

The quality of my life literally depends on my thoughts.

I never thought of myself as a negative person, and most people who know me will tell you I’m a bubbly, outgoing, …

Tiny Wisdom: On the Future

By in Quotes

“Whatever the past has been, you have a spotless future.” ~Unknown

Everyone has something in their past they wish they could change. Whether it’s a mistake, a regret, a disappointment, or a deep pain, we’ve all had moments that can feel overwhelming if we try to hold onto them while building tomorrow.

We can never change what’s come and gone, but we can always choose instead to focus on what’s coming and where we’re going.

The future is never set in stone, no matter how limiting the past may have been. The only thing standing between us and new possibilities …

The Right Direction: Releasing the Past and Getting Unstuck

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

Man Walking Alone

“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” ~Proverb

It’s been a year since I stumbled upon Tiny Buddha. At the time I was in a difficult place, emotionally, mentally, and physically.

I felt as if life was pointless and that there was nothing for me in the world: no room, no hope, no opportunity, no relief from the chronic tiredness and pain, and no love. I’d given up.

I spent my days staring at the walls and at my computer, trying to find something to make me feel better, to …

How to Stop Playing the Blame Game

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

The most common conversation I have with other people includes the blame game.

The one where your job, your wife, your dog, your mother-in-law, your neighbor six doors down, the media, the government, the receptionist at your doctor’s office, or the dressmaker who measured you wrong is somehow responsible for the problems you’re having.

I too played the blame game.

I intentionally left a marriage that I was very unhappy in and then blamed him for everything. My finances, my unhappiness, my fluctuating weight, …

Growing Pains: When Becoming Something New Feels Scary

By in Blog, change & challenges

Growing Pains

“The moment in between what you once were, and who you are now becoming, is where the dance of life really takes place.” ~Barbara De Angelis

When we were kids, my dad used to measure us as we grew taller. On the back of the door of the laundry chute, he would keep track of me and my two sisters.

Every six months or so, he’d take out the ruler and lay it right on the top of our heads and mark the door. When we’d step away, we’d notice that we grew a few inches since the last time. …

Tiny Wisdom: On Living with Honor

By in Courage, Meaning, Quotes

“The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be.” ~Socrates

Most of us live the majority of our lives for other people—trying to do what they want us to do, aiming to meet their expectations, and hoping to be seen as we’d like them to see us.

Trying to sway perception is exhausting and oftentimes fruitless because we can never dictate what other people think. We don’t get to control our reputation; we only get to shape our character.

Today, if you find yourself fixating on other people’s perceptions and judgments, …

4 Tips to Create Meaningful, Authentic Connections Online

By in Blog, love & relationships, meaning & passion

“The most important things in life are the connections you make with others.” ~Tom Ford

Three years ago I was living in the Bay Area, working for a start-up website as a community and content and manager. Every day, I signed online and wrote for hours about a topic that meant absolutely nothing to me.

I accepted the position because it was a dramatic pay increase from my previous temp and freelance lifestyle, and it afforded me my first solo apartment. I’d held dozens of different jobs in my time as I searched for meaningful work, and I certainly …

Tiny Wisdom: On Becoming Again

By in Courage, Quotes, Strength

“To live is to be willing to die over and over again.” ~Pema Chodron

A lot of times we say we want to expand our world, but without realizing it we attach to the way things are.

We attach to our feelings, relationships, and circumstances, and then fight to hold onto them for dear life. It’s scary to let go of what is and what works, and sometimes even what doesn’t work. Familiar and bearable can be a lot more comforting than the unknown and potentially dissatisfying.

And yet tomorrow is always unknown. No matter how secure we may feel …

Blind with Full Sight: On Living in the Moment

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ~Robert Brault

As a fairly recent grad student at the time, it was painful when I had to pay for things that were out of my control.

While in Tahoe one weekend, I found my parked car without a right side view mirror. Someone had knocked it off! It was an important mirror—the one that assisted you with seeing a reasonable amount of blind spots.

I knew it would be extra difficult for me to switch lanes and park my car without …

We Are Never Alone in the Storm

By in Blog, change & challenges

Hugging Under Umbrella

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

Like so many others living in Florida, my family was deeply affected by hurricane Charlie in August of 2004.  We have completely recovered financially some years later, but the gravity of the situation leaves feelings close to the surface.

Our particular community was heavily hit by what were called spin-off tornadoes. Most people in Orlando did not believe the storm was coming our way.  We had little notice that the storm path had changed from the forecaster’s prediction.

A friend from Jacksonville called and said, …

When to Go with the Flow & When to Expand Your Comfort Zone

By in Blog, change & challenges, work fulfillment

Out of Your Comfort Zone

“Be bold, be bold, and everywhere be bold.” ~Herbert Spencer

I’m actually much more of a proponent of “going with the flow” then going against it. And sometimes forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do can be considered going against the flow.

But I do that for a different reason, and not everyone would agree.

I have two schools of thought. On the one hand, expansion is inevitable. We’re always called to become more than we are in life. It’s the nature of being human.

On the other hand, there’s something called “homeostasis.” Like a thermostat that’s …

In Pursuit of Peace: Why It’s Hard to Find Serenity

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.” ~Robert Pirsig

The other evening I was I was lying in the bath following yet another hectic day in the office. As I sat there in the bubbles, I could feel my tension rising. I tried my hardest to block out the banging of the washing machine in the next room and the great stomping footsteps from the flat above.

All of a sudden, this peaceful treat was starting to feel more like a battle of wills—me against the world.

This made me …

Tiny Wisdom: On Being Fully What You Are

By in Confidence, Love, Peace, Quotes

“By accepting yourself and being fully what you are, your presence can make others happy.” ~Jane Roberts

I suspect we all want permission to be exactly who we are—to accept ourselves instead of feeling unsure of ourselves, and then somehow find a balance between being and improving.

When we see someone else who appears to do that, despite their weaknesses and flaws, it’s immensely inspiring and gratifying. Why? Because we all want to believe that even if we can be better, there’s nothing wrong with being exactly who we are.

Yet only we can give that feeling to ourselves. No …

Accepting & Loving Ourselves in 10 Simple Steps

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.” ~Unknown

The idea of loving yourself often seems cliché. We throw around the phrase, but do we really understand what it means? Do we actually know how to love ourselves? Or what the process of self love even looks like?

I really believe that everything in our lives is directly affected by how much we love ourselves, but I’m often at a loss for words when trying to articulate what is really all about. In my attempts to …

Tiny Wisdom: On Perfect Plans

By in Courage, Mindfulness, Quotes

Green Buddha

“A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.” -Proverb

Tomorrow always seems like a safe bet for action. Then you’ll be ready to get started, or get serious, or get over it, or get on with it. Tomorrow you’ll finally set your plan in motion instead of shaping it into something just right. You’ll take the offer, the plunge, or the road less taken tomorrow, when you feel sure.

Tomorrow can become a moving target while todays pile up and expire.

Sometimes we need to be patient, but oftentimes we use it as an excuse to wait …

On Planning Less: How to Let Go & Enjoy the Ride

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask, don’t knock, don’t demand – relax. If you relax, it comes. If you relax, it is there. If you relax, you start vibrating with it.” ~Osho

As I drove home today, I embarked on a familiar exercise: planning out, in ridiculous detail, the next week, month, and year of my life.

To be clear, I’m not suggesting that planning is bad. In my world, a complete lack of planning would be anarchy. And anarchy equals anxiety. So I try to avoid it—both the anarchy and the anxiety.

But, historically speaking, I plan to a …

Authentic Communication: 3 Tips for Receiving in Conversations

By in Blog, love & relationships

“As for the future, your task is not to foresee it but to enable it.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Have you ever heard the expression everyone loves a cheerful giver? While there’s a great deal of truth in the philosophy of offering without hopes attached, what about the flip side?

Sometimes we become so focused on providing antidotes or anticipating what we perceive to be the other person’s needs that we steamroll a conversation, taking center stage in our interactions.

In my own day-to-day life, pauses and hesitations in conversation used to make me uncomfortable or even anxious. I would …