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Search Results for "uncertainty" — 367 posts

Highs and Lows Are Part of Growth and It All Makes Us Stronger

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“Just like a muscle needs to tear to grow stronger, sometimes we need to wade into our own darkness to find a brighter light.” ~Lori Deschene

Sometimes we need to journey into the deepest, darkest, scariest, most painful places inside in order to reach the next level.

This is what happened to me earlier this year.

When I was younger, I was in an abusive relationship that created a lot of stories in my head. These stories became beliefs that I carried around for a long time. Beliefs like, “I’m not good enough,” “Relationships are painful,” “I don’t …

The Introvert’s Hate/Hate Relationship With Spontaneity

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“The man who is prepared has his battle half fought.” ~Miguel De Cervantes

They say you should live in the present, and “they” form a chorus of voices that is growing in number by the second. Everywhere you turn these days, the message is loud and clear: life is better when you live in the moment.

I get it; I really do. I know that when I hit that flow state, regardless of what I’m immersed in, time passes in a heartbeat and I tend to really enjoy myself.

It’s just that I would prefer it if I could …

Why You Need to Embrace “Beginner’s Mind” to Live a Life of Adventure

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“The don’t-know mind… doesn’t fear, has no wish to control or foresee, steps off the cliff of the moment with absolute trust that the next step will land somewhere, and the next step somewhere else, and the feet will take us wherever we need to go.” ~Byron Katie

I am fifty-five years old. I’ve raised a family, been through two divorces, bought and sold four houses, and had a successful professional career. And right now I’m doing one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, which is learning to host in a busy restaurant.

My coworkers range from mid-twenties to …

3 Tools to Help You Calm Your Mind and Let Go of Anxiety

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“I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh 

I’ve struggled with anxiety throughout my life. A difficult childhood and my highly sensitive personality meant I grew into an anxious kid—there was just too much pain and emotional overwhelm for my young brain to handle.

My anxiety most often manifested as perfectionism and people pleasing, so from the outside everything seemed great. I excelled in school and I was a good kid who did as she was told. But there was a war inside me.

I felt broken, …

Life’s Hard Questions

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Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life's Hard Questions

What's the meaning of life? What does it take to be happy? Why are relationships so hard? Author Lori Deschene explores these questions and more, sharing her own experience overcoming depression, isolation, self-loathing, and a sense of meaninglessness. Including perspectives from @tinybuddha Twitter followers and insights from wise teachers around the world and throughout time, Tiny Buddha provides an empowering guide for personal happiness, even in a world with so much uncertainty.

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How to Get Out of Your Head and Stop Overthinking Everything

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“It’s not a matter of letting go, you would if you could. Instead of ‘Let it go,’ we should probably say ‘Let it be.'” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

I always believed that a busy mind was a bad thing.

And for a large part of my life, it was.

Looking back, I don’t ever recall a time when I wasn’t caught up in my thoughts. There was always a “narrator” in my head. A constant commentary.

I tried meditating but would spend ten agonizing minutes trying desperately to push my thoughts away or make them stop, which we know is impossible. Not …

7 Crucial Steps to Minimize Drama in Your Life

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“When you are not honoring the present moment by allowing it to be, you are creating drama.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Well into my twenties, all of my friendships with women looked a lot like junior high.

One day, we’d be codependent and attached at the hip, sending incessant play-by-play emails throughout the workday like one too many notes in class.

The next day, we’d be dragging each other by the hair into a heap of combined emotional issues, complete with nasty suspicions, unfounded accusations, and a dramatic reconciliation that would inevitably be short-lived.

Shortly after one toxic friendship eroded, I found …

My Proactive 8-Part Plan for Beating Anxiety and Negativity

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“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I’m on a much needed and looked forward to vacation with family whom I love dearly, and yet I’m entering the belly of the whale. Perhaps it was triggered by my habit of making sure everyone is okay and having a good time. Perhaps it’s because the act of preparing for and traveling to Baja was exhausting and now I’m just tired.

Whatever the cause, my anxiety starts as an uncertainty, an insecurity tickling the back of my skull. Then it attacks my ego, assigning me responsible for the self-created …

10 Things I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me When I Was 18

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“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” ~Maya Angelou

Can you remember what it was like?

Becoming an adult. Having to take responsibility for your life. Having the world opening up to you. Having to suddenly start making decisions and setting a clear direction for your life.

Exciting, yet terrifying and confusing all at the same time.

Looking back, there are things you wish you’d known, right? Here are some things I’ve learned that I wish someone would have told me when I was eighteen.

1. You don’t find meaning; you

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The Delusion of Separation: We Don’t Need to Feel So Lonely

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“The fundamental delusion of humanity is to suppose that I am here and you are out there.” ~Yasutani Roshi

You know those moments? Those brief, fleeting moments that shine through the grey of everyday life like motes of glitter caught in a sunbeam. The moments when you suddenly feel a connection to the world around you, when the quotidian alienation of modern life falls away and color pulses back in.

Walking through the torpor of another generic day, the background static of depression distorting the colors of the world, I often don’t realize I’m on a downward spiral until I …

How to Move On When Your Ex Already Has

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“Like a sandcastle, all is temporary. Build it, tend it, enjoy it. And when the time comes, let it go.” ~Jack Kornfield

I picked up the butter cookies and a small postcard-sized painting I had brought for her.

I took the third-floor hotel elevator down.

Closing my eyes, I took several deep breaths.

The elevator ride was less than five seconds, but our time spent apart was five years.

Five years after the divorce I had flown up to see her again.

I’m not sure what led to this meeting. We had emailed each other a couple times out of …

Slow Down, Simplify, Clear Your Mind, and You’ll Get Better Results

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“The real you, the inner you, is pure, very pure. It understands. It has patience. It will wait forever while your ego trots all over everywhere trying to figure life out.” ~Stuart Wilde

There’s a common myth I think we all fall prey to: If something is important, it has to be complicated.

Surely, if what we want is easy—be it a business venture or a happier life—then everyone would be going for it, wouldn’t they?

Well, yes, in a way. But I’ve found that while the road to success and happiness isn’t always smooth sailing, it’s usually us …

Love Isn’t Enough (and Other Reasons I Ended My Toxic Relationship)

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“Some people think that it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go.” ~Unknown

Sometimes we prolong relationships for the sake of comfort and familiarity. We’re fearful of what’s out there, and life without a partner. No matter how many times we’ve been hurt, taken for granted, or had our needs neglected, we still choose to stay even if our mind and heart strongly suggest otherwise.

I thought I was strong for putting up with my ex’s mistreatment. I had held the ability to forgive in high regard, and I wanted to keep that standard.

I’m not exaggerating …

How Reframing Your Self-Critical Thoughts Can Help Ease Anxiety

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“Don’t let the sadness of your past and the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present.” ~Unknown

I know what it feels like to be scared.

I know what it feels like to question your sanity, your worth, your place in this world.

Sometimes, all I can do is repeat the words it’s okay over and over and over again in my head, until I kind of, somewhat, maybe start to believe it’s true.

Anxiety sucks. Depression does too. They’re not my favorites of the emotions we humans get to experience. But, truthfully, they have a purpose.…

Overcoming the Fear That Stands Between You and Your Dreams

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“A few rare individuals refuse to have limited lives. They drive through tremendous amounts of pain—from rejections and failures to shorter moments of embarrassment and anxiety. Because they avoid nothing, they can pursue their highest aspirations. They seem more alive than the rest of us.” ~Phil Stutz and Barry Michels

If you were to see me in a social situation, you’d think that I’m confident.

And in most informal social settings, I am. Now.

I love people, love hearing their stories, so most of the time I trust my ability to relate and connect.

But this wasn’t always the …

How Your Ego Thrives on Fear and Keeps You Panicked

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“The ego is the false self—born out of fear and defensiveness.” ~John O’Donohue

“The soul is like a wild animal—tough, resilient, savvy, self-sufficient, and yet exceedingly shy.” ~Parker Palmer

Does it sometimes seem like the world is just a little too much for you? Do you feel that you need to protect yourself from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune? (Thank you, Hamlet.) Are you a fragile flower being buffeted by life’s storms?

Then I think you’ve been listening to your ego too much. I understand all of those feelings very well, but I’ve recently discovered something life-changing…

Awaken Your Creative Side: Interview with Melissa Dinwiddie and Book Giveaway

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UPDATE: The winners for this giveaway are Alba and Nette Jordan.

Like most of us, I spent much of my childhood creating, making everything from finger paintings and friendship bracelets to leaf collages and Lego castles.

I also spent weeks rehearsing for community theater performances and hours writing poems and stories, with no thought of whether I could make money off any of it.

I created because it was fun and fulfilling, and that alone was enough.

Then, like many of us, I got caught up adulting and began spending far more time working and worrying than imagining and playing.…

6 Questions to Help You Love Yourself More When It Feels Impossible

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“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

In 2012, self-love became the most important thing in my life. After self-loathing and addiction led me to rock bottom, there was nowhere to go but up. When someone asked me last year how long I’d been on the self-love journey, I counted back from 2012. That’s when I thought it began.

In my old journals, however, I recently found something strange and incredible—my self-love journey started long before I thought it had. Years prior to hitting rock bottom, I’d been having the same …

How to Stop Worrying: 5 Things to Try When Nothing Else Works

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“I’ve been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” ~Mark Twain

If you’re like me—a worry prodigy from a young age—you hate when people say, “Don’t worry about it.” As if it were so easy, as if I hadn’t already tried.

I’ve used many of the tips and tricks out there. Some of them helped for a while, but few did much for long.

The trouble is, most of the advice out there only addresses the symptoms of worry. It’s like taking cherry-flavored cough syrup when you have bronchitis: tempting, and probably the most …

How to Rock Your Scars (Because They Mean You’re Strong)

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“Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.” ~Unknown

“It’s such an ugly scar, I really don’t want anyone to see it.” This is what I told my daughter about a scar on my leg from an accident I’d experienced a year earlier.

I can remember the day so clearly when I slipped and fell, while skating, breaking my ankle and tearing a ligament. It was a painful experience with a long recovery. But I also felt embarrassed because I got injured during such a simple and fun activity.

I …