Menu

Posts tagged with “healing”

The Gains in Our Losses: Growing Through the Pain

By

“In this world of change, nothing which comes stays, and nothing which goes is lost.”  ~ Anne Sophie Swetchine

I’ve always been a “cat guy.” This was long before my Buddhist friends told me stories of how cats are true earthly masters, here on earth to show us the way. Or, to demonstrate the meditative perfection of the feline purr. Or, how the life of a cat is seen in some traditions as reward for good karma.

When I lived in rural Nova Scotia, the house was blessed with two cats named Midge and Mooch—tabby mixes, who would come …

Reclaim Your Authentic Self: 4 Steps to Recover from Bullying and Abuse

By

When I was in fourth grade, a girl from another class bullied me. I was in the bathroom during class when I heard the door creak open and whooshing shut. There was silence for a moment, then the girl’s hands appeared on the top of the stall door, followed by her face.

“Whaddaya doin’ in there?” she asked.

I quickly covered myself and replied as nicely as I could, “I’m using the bathroom.”

“Well, hurry up,” she said. “Because I want to go.” There were three other stalls, so I knew I was in trouble.

I had no idea who …

We Can Control How We Respond to Things We Can’t Control

By

“When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~Viktor Frankl

Every year, March 13th is difficult for me. This year, I marked the day with a long hike in the woods near my house and an extra-long hug for my wife, Kathleen. My sisters and I called each other and just said his name out loud. Wherever he is, we want him to know he is gone but not forgotten.

March 13th would have been my brother Jimmy’s 64th birthday. He only made it to 26.

But March 13…

3 Unconventional Tips for Forgiving and Letting Go

By

“The greatest obstacle to connecting with our joy is resentment.” ~Pema Chodron

Forgiveness is good, right? I don’t mean in a heal the planet kind of way—I mean in a selfish, me me me kind of way.

We want to let go of our resentments and connect with people genuinely. We want to feel happy and contented, full of love for ourselves and those around us. We want to run, carefree, through the fields in a pretty cotton dress, not sit around in our pajamas, twisted with bitterness.

But how do you experience genuine forgiveness and stop feeling resentful? Because …

Forgiving People Who Show No Remorse: Have You Suffered Enough?

By

“That which I do not forgive in you, lies unforgiven within myself.” ~Buddhist Proverb

When I decided to forgive the driver that killed my nine-year-old son, I struggled to believe I could or should.

In the beginning of my grief I had so much anger toward her, and because she was not showing remorse, I wanted to find ways to punish her so that she would be in the same pain that I was.

She did not come forward to say she was sorry or try to meet up with me after the accident, and this was hard for …

Lessons from Dogs on Being Present and Healing After Loss

By

“If you learn from a loss you have not lost.” ~Austin O’Malley

Every experience, including every loss, has something to teach us even when we are not up for a lesson.

Losing one of my pets has been a chance for me to reflect on the value of the present, and has strengthened my commitment to engaging in each moment and not letting my worries and anticipation erode the possibilities of the now.

In December, my fourteen-year-old golden retriever passed away. Ripley was an incredible companion who saw me through several jobs, moved with me five times, and outlasted my …

Embracing Pain: Life’s Gifts Often Come Wrapped in Sandpaper

By

“The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.” ~Unknown

“How did you get so wise?” My friend’s voice on the other end of the telephone line was genuinely curious.

I took a moment to think, wanting to be just as sincere in my response as she was in her inquiry. I felt the words climb up from the depths of my heart and ride a breath of truth as they passed through my lips.

“I cry a lot,” I finally responded.

Believe me, I wish there was another way. On my personal journey—and there are …

Letting Go of Your Past Suffering to Feel Peaceful and Free

By

“Letting go give us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I stood alone in what had been my childhood bedroom, staring at the dresser with a familiar discomfort. My fingers clutched at the handle of the second drawer from the top and pulled hard, straining from the weight of its contents.

I reached in with both hands, the drawer with its quarter inch plywood base teetering dangerously on the edge of the frame, and lifted them out, one by one.

Unicorns, fairies, rainbows, mystical maidens, all disappeared as I placed the journals into the …

Helping Others Helps Us All: We’re All in This Together

By

“Pain is not a sign of weakness, but bearing it alone is a choice to grow weak.” ~Lori Deschene

I, like many of you I’m guessing, am a wanderer. A student of the soul. At times it can be a bewildering path. Most days I give thanks for the adventure. Many others I wish for clarity and certainty.

But though I am a wanderer, I am not aimless: I have a path as deep and true as any other. I simply have no map to guide me, only my intuition, and the myriad teachers that cross my …

Start Healing the World: Take Responsibility for Healing Yourself

By

“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.” ~Marianne Williamson

We all have the fundamental desire to create an ideal world, where everyone is healthy, happy, and free of suffering. The habitual tendency we all have is to look around us, find out what’s wrong with the world, and then try to “fix” it.

While it’s true that horrible things happen around us everyday, to transform the world we all experience, we have to start with ourselves. We can only create change in the world if we first start with our own …

Making It Through Pain That Seems to Never End

By

“Feelings are real and legitimate.” ~Unknown

I’ve been thinking about pain lately.

It’s come up for me more now since my sister, Susie, has been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis.

Susie and I are close in age—just 15 months separate us—and close in friendship and love. So I worry about her.

She’s an electrician and needs to be able to use her hands on a daily basis for wiring, splicing, drilling, and all of the other myriad things electricians do.

But, of course, her hands are right where the arthritis has chosen to reside currently.

She told me that some days …

Getting to the Root of Pain to Work Through It and Be Happy

By

“The secret of joy is the mastery of pain” ~Anais Nin

I come from a family of runners. They run from pain, emotions, and uncomfortable feelings.

My mom was 17 when she moved to Texas to get away from her overbearing mother. She couldn’t deal with the pain of never being enough for her parents or herself. She left her parents, extended family, and friends behind in Mississippi without a second glance.

A recovering anorexic, she was looking for something, anything that would ease the pain and prove she was okay.

My father arrived in Texas in his …

Uncover Hidden Emotions: What’s Really Pushing Your Buttons and Why?

By

“When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself.” ~Wayne Dyer

Lately, I’ve been confronted by envy. It’s one of those negative emotions that I used to avoid taking credit for.

“I really am happy for everyone,” I would tell potential mates and friends.” And I thought I meant it.

Instead of feeling envious, which was impossible since I didn’t do envy, I would feel an ambiguous sense of dislike for the person. 

My elementary school best friend who went on to become a Miss America contender? I made up a story that she was being “fake” …

Surviving and Thriving: 3 Lessons About Dealing with Hard Times

By

“Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers.” ~Unknown

Lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV and massive machines, I seriously considered the possibility that I was having a nightmare. Everything felt so surreal.

At 22 years old, my life was full of promise and potential. I had recently graduated from college and it was a time of beginnings. I was living in Manhattan and had begun working in music publishing.

I had no idea that a late night trip to the emergency room due to a rapid heart rate would result in a weeklong hospitalization.

When …

Getting Back Up After You Fall & Healing from Depression

By

“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.” ~Theodore Rubin

Growing up I was a thoughtful and happy kid—carefree, easy going, not afraid to make mistakes and take on challenges.

Just before I turned thirteen, my parents moved our family halfway across the world where we knew no one.

I adjusted well, made friends, and felt content and successful in my pursuit of whatever I decided was worth pursuing. I was strong and confident. I worked hard, laughed easily and often, and felt as if I …

5 Tips to Forgive Instead of Letting Anger Control Your Life

By

“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” ~Ajahn Chah

I made it my New Year’s resolution to forgive someone for his past actions. Unfortunately, he’s not here to know.

My dad passed away from cancer last September. There are times I miss him a lot; other times, it’s nice to have peace in my life.

We never got along. My mother and others told me it was because we were too much alike, but I knew that was not the case.

That’s …

Dealing with Painful Memories to Find Peace in the Present

By

“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.” ~Marianne Williamson

I awoke early one morning, the cries and pleas of my dreams slowly dissipating, and though I could no longer hear or see what was happening, it stayed with me as I drifted back to the real world. I knew this story; I had dreamed a memory, and the remains of it stayed with me in my body.

Like a dark cloud it made me pull my knees into my chest, and it forced salty tears from my closed eyes.  I had dreamed …

Interview & Book Giveaway: Misadventures of a Garden State Yogi

By

Note: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

Yoga, road trips, and personal stories that border on TMI—these are all things I enjoy, which might explain why I was drawn to Misadventures of a Garden State Yogi.

In this engaging self-help memoir, author and yoga teacher Brian Leaf shares his experiences healing Colitis and ADD through yoga.

Including anecdotes from a cross-country journey during which he tried many different studios, Brian provides a window into his …

Free Yourself From Emotional Debt: Move Beyond Pain from the Past

By

“He who is brave is free.” ~Seneca

We all know what debt is. Some of us, most of us, still have a few we’re paying off.

Student loans, car payments, mortgages.

But what about the unseen debts, debts that are invisible to the naked eye but instead live within our hearts?

There are many invisible debts we pay—debts that are alive within us from the past: The father who walked out when we were little, whose approval we’re still seeking. The mother who was over critical, so we overwork ourselves to prove that we’re good enough. The time someone humiliated …

When You’re Pretending to Be Fine: 9 Tips to Deal and Heal

By

“Our strength grows out of our weaknesses.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I never thought I’d want to kill myself.

All my life, I’d been a strong, independent woman, building a business from home, raising two wonderful sons, and staying happy and positive throughout.

If you’d told me I’d one day consider taking my own life, I’d have laughed and said, “You’ve got me confused with someone else!”

But after twenty years and two sons together, my husband and I decided to split up.

So what? Separation and divorce are commonplace. You just cope with it like everyone else. I was strong, …