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Posts tagged with “relationship”

3 Ways to Build Stronger, Deeper Friendships

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“No friendship is an accident.” –O. Henry, Heart of the West

Recently I was telling a friend how grateful I was that she had initiated a get-together.

“No one ever reaches out to me,” I complained. “I feel like I am the one driving all of my relationships.”

“Well,” she responded, “don’t think too highly of me. I almost never reach out…to anyone.”

I mulled this over on my way home that evening. I have often felt like the driving force behind many of my relationships. But I have also felt on many occasions that I’m just as bad at …

3 Ways to Know When a Relationship Isn’t Right for You

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“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” ~Lao Tzu

I was going out with a wonderful man. He was generous and caring and had a great sense of humor. He treated me well and attended to my every need.

But something just wasn’t right. I battled with myself for over a month.

Every time a fear surfaced about how quickly things were moving, I smoothed it over with a shrug or a hug or a reminder of how lucky I was to have found someone with whom to share my life.

My logical mind told me that he …

How to Feel Close and Connected in Your Relationship Again

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“Intimacy is not purely physical, It’s the act of connecting with someone so deeply, you feel like you see into their soul.” ~Unknown

When we’re feeling disconnected and unfulfilled in our relationships, we often believe that we need something more from the other person.

We think that in order for us to be happy, the other person needs to be or do something different. While it may be true that sometimes there are some changes we need to make, oftentimes being happy and getting what we desire has more to do with our own awareness. 

The problem is that …

Moving from Heartbreak to Happiness: How to Work Through the Pain

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“Pain makes you stronger. Fear makes you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser.” ~Unknown

There I was, sitting in my lounge room, waiting for my girlfriend to return home.

We had just bought our first house together and had been living there for a week. It was a chaotic time, balancing moving, work, study commitments, and an obscene amount of renovations. However, the heartfelt joy of settling into our own place overshadowed the chaos.

Our new home held the dreams of a future life together. The thought of raising a family there filled my heart to the brim.

It was an …

How to Let Go of Resentment and Forgive Your Ex

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“I used to be afraid of the pain letting go of the past would cause, until I realized how much pain holding on has caused.” ~Steve Maraboli

Getting over the pain of a bad relationship is never easy.

Even when I finally felt more in control of my feelings, the pain from my past would still spill over into my present.

I would constantly compare my new partner to my ex who had torn my heart apart. Even though I had moved on from that relationship, I was too afraid to fully trust my new partner for …

Healing a Broken Heart: It Will Get Better

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“This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert

I thought I went through my last breakup a few years ago. I thought I had paid my dues, cried my share of tears, and dealt with some deep wounds. I thought I was done. I was happy and in love, and talking about moving in with my boyfriend.

One day we took a little vacation. We laughed and explored the desert excitedly talking about our dreams. Three days later I found myself sobbing on the floor of my tub, …

It’s Not Settling to Love Someone Who Doesn’t Match Your Fantasy

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“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I’ve always been a dreamer. A really big dreamer. For the most part, it’s served me well. I was the first person in my family to graduate from college. A private college, magna cum laude, while raising four children alone. I don’t do mediocrity.

I worked hard and brought our family out of poverty singlehandedly. We moved to a better neighborhood, built a nice house, and went on vacations. I was no ordinary woman. I’d much prefer to raise those kids …

What to Do When People Always Underestimate You

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“You can’t base your life on other people’s expectations.” ~Stevie Wonder

Being blatantly underestimated is simply a part of my life.

No matter what I’m doing, the ordinary will seem extraordinary, and the extraordinary will seem insurmountable to those who look at me for the first time. There is no way I am contributing the same amount to society as the rest of the world.

These are not drawn conclusions on my part; I have been told these very things straight to my face. People perceive me this way because of the white cane in my hand, the badge, letting …

How to Develop Self-Love and Why This Will Strengthen Your Relationship

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“An outstanding love doesn’t come from two half-fulfilled people coming together to make one whole, complete life. Outstanding love comes from two whole people coming together to share and enhance their already full and beautiful lives.” ~Pia Scade

My partner and I were having a conversation about our relationship recently.

We both told each other just how much we loved the relationship. We weren’t talking about how much we love each other, but about how much we enjoy this shared space between us, this thing we call our relationship.

We enjoy giving to it and nurturing it. We enjoy receiving …

You Don’t Need a Perfect Relationship

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Source: Higher Perspective

What a Healthy Relationship Will Never Require of You

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Source: Live Life Happy

What to Do When You Love Someone Who Hurts You

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“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” ~Pema Chödrön

There is a person in my life who I love with all my heart, but in this relationship I struggle to keep a full cup myself. They are family, the situation is complicated and tender. But learning to have compassion for this other person begins with having compassion for myself.

A nasty divorce spanning most of my childhood set the stage for our current situation. My mother was deeply emotionally wounded by my father, and carried that pain into her parenting of my …

A True Relationship

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How to Leave a Toxic Relationship When You’re Still in Love

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“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” ~Marilyn Monroe

Why does it have to hurt so badly?

You’re so in love, but your relationship has become toxic. It simply can’t continue.

Night after sleepless night, you lie awake replaying the fights in your head.

You can’t understand why your partner won’t change or how they can simply ignore how you feel. You wonder if they ever truly loved you.

You’ve tried everything to save your relationship, but nothing’s worked. You know it’s time to end it, yet the thought of being alone petrifies you.

But …

4 Things to Remember When Your Relationship Falls Apart

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“At some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.” ~Unknown

I was filled with excitement and nerves as I stood waiting to meet him for the first time in Paddington station.

It was one of the wettest days I’d seen in London, and the rain dripped steadily from the peaked hood of my blue rain jacket. Zipped up to my chin and the hood pulled tight over my head, only my eyes peered out, searching for him amongst the crowds and falling rain.

Months later, he told me that …

What to Do When Your Partner Disappoints or Frustrates You

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“Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience, and two people who truly want to be together.” ~Unknown

We are wired to seek “the right one,” the ever-supportive partner, and the loving relationship.

If we get all three, it’s like winning the lottery of life. When we meet someone, we dream of him/her being our soul mate. When we are in a relationship, we hope they’ll love and support us unconditionally, and the relationship will be loving and everlasting.

That would be the ideal world, and, unfortunately, the ideal world isn’t the one we live in.

It took …

What to Do When Your Relationship Feels Stale and Stuck

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“To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.” ~Mother Theresa

There comes a point when every couple arrives at the same crossroads. They ask: Is this relationship still the most important thing? Are we doing this well? Do we still love and support one another? Are we still open, honest, and giving?

Often these questions come after years of marriage and a slow realization that mediocrity has set into the relationship.

For those who’ve had a bumpy road and have developed a keen awareness that relationships take work, the questions come earlier and a little …

4 Positive Lessons from the Betrayal of Infedelity

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“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~C.S. Lewis

My eyes leapt open sometime after 2am and, after feeling the empty space next to me, I knew.

The cell phone I laid on the pillow beside my head was silent, my previous text messages left unanswered. Panic swelled in my throat as I frantically dialed his number, calls separated by no more than thirty seconds.

Checking phone logs and driving past houses at night had never been something I pictured myself doing. So, …

3 Steps to Making an Intimate Relationship Work

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“True closeness respects each other’s space.” ~Angelica Hopes

It was a Friday, the workweek had ended, and I was excited for my boyfriend to come home. (Okay, I’m talking about an ex-boyfriend—these steps took me time to implement…)

I’d gone grocery shopping and had two steaks to grill, with asparagus and a bottle of wine chilled.

I heard the garage door and the dog ran to meet him. I knew he would drop his briefcase and come to the kitchen to give me a hug. Then, he would take off his shoes and find the couch to decompress for …

7 Reasons Your Breakup Is A Beautiful Thing

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“Watch for big problems. They disguise big opportunities.” ~Ritu Ghatourey

After many years of being the “dumper” in the relationship, I then spent many years being the “dumpee.”

Even after I had worked through all of that karma that I had instilled upon myself, when it came time for my last breakup, it was finally a mutual decision. Still, it left me feeling lost and incomplete.

I had never felt happier with any other man, and at the same time, I knew I deserved better. We both loved each other so much, but we found ourselves growing apart.…