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Posts tagged with “relationship”

Stop Keeping Score in Relationships and Start Taking Care of Each Other

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“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” ~Desmond Tutu

I was recently at the grocery store, and not once, but twice, I encountered couples practically duking it out in the aisles. I mean, full on snit-fits happening here. One pair was so mad, the woman actually walked in the opposite direction down the aisle, her five- or six-year-old in tow.

Totally productive, right?

The other pair was fighting because the husband couldn’t decide which milk to get. His wife was trying to hurry him up, and …

How to Heal from Heartbreak and Allow Love into Your Life

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“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.” ~Marianne Williamson

Love terrifies me.

After having loved, courted, and married the love of my life, things went sour. Over the course of a few years, our marriage crumbled and our relationship came to a sudden halt.

When you’ve only been with one person, loved that person to the core, and believed that person to be your soul mate, you take the breakup unusually hard.

Yes, tears. Yes, sorrow. Yes, seclusion. Yes, withdrawal. Yes, not wanting to get out of bed.

I experienced every symptom of heartbreak …

Healing from Heartbreak and Loving Life, No Matter Your “Status”

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“Getting over a past relationship is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point to move forward.” ~C.S. Lewis

I recently stumbled into a clothing store where everything was full of life and color, until I saw the sales clerk.

She had obviously been crying. I perused the merchandise and hesitatingly asked her a question about an item. Tears welled up in her eyes and she said, “I’m sorry, I’m so overwhelmed. My boyfriend just broke up with me.”

I wasn’t prepared for that answer, but as I looked at her more closely I saw …

3 Signs It’s Time to Break Up

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“Celebrate endings, for they precede new beginnings.” ~Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There was an incessant doubt deep inside that wouldn’t subside. It followed me everywhere—through the good times and the rough times.

By “good,” I mean things were okay. They were never great, ecstatic, wildly passionate, and deeply connected.

I tried to escape it, block it out, ignore it, and pretend this nagging feeling would eventually disappear.

But my heart wasn’t skipping a beat. The spark had long disappeared. I never had butterflies thinking about him. I felt myself slowly withdrawing.

And I couldn’t figure out why was this happening.

He …

Healing from Heartbreak: How to Lessen the Pain

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“To get over the past, you first have to accept that the past is over. No matter how many times you revisit it, analyze it, regret it, or sweat it…it’s over.” ~Mandy Hale

Heartbreak. It’s a hard thing to go through. And the pain—it’s real, isn’t it? Like tangible pain. Almost as if that person, throughout the time we were with them, emblazoned our hearts with tiny little hooks and, one by one, they’re being wrenched out. Sounds dramatic, but that’s how it felt to me!

This recent breakup has been the most significant in my life so far. …

5 Simple Ways to Quickly Resolve Conflict with Your Partner

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“Don’t make a permanent decision for your temporary emotion.” ~Unknown

You have a small disagreement with your partner, and before you know it, it escalates into a big fight. Sound familiar?

You then get dreadfully grumpy. You stick your head in the ground like an ostrich and ignore your partner. You think that you have the right to be grumpy or even angry.

You’re in “war” mode now, and you want to win the battle. You dig a trench, jump into it, and arm yourself with weapons.

You barely listen to a word your partner says, and all you want …

Making Love Last, Even When It’s Long-Distance

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“Love as much as you can from wherever you are.” ~Thaddeus Golas

At the time I’m writing this article, I have been in a relationship for 1,369 days out of which 716 have been long-distance.

Yes, I keep track of the days, not just the months or the years, because I live every day, not every month.

I will not pretend the long-distance part has been an easy journey; and anyone who has dabbled even for a little bit in the idea of long-distance relationships can tell you that it takes a lot of love, but more importantly it takes …

What Happens When We Don’t Say What We Think and Feel

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“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” ~George Bernard Shaw

Can we just talk?

Those words can be a buzzkill on dates, and yet talking is the most profound interaction we will ever have with another human being.

A while back, my husband walked into the kitchen where I was reading an article on my phone and asked me if I had a chance to get a Father’s Day card for his dad (who lives in Canada). I said no I didn’t, and, since it was eight in the evening, I’d get it …

7 Ways to Put Life Back into Your Relationship

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“Eventually you will come to realize that love heals everything, and love is all there is.” ~Gary Zukav

I was always a hopeless romantic. Since I was a little girl, I craved love and the fairy tale romance.

Growing up in a two-parent home, I was very fortunate to see that it was, in fact, possible. In my teen years, I remember fantasizing about the cute boy with the dimples and how he would take me to prom and eventually carry me over the threshold after our wedding night.

I thought that all relationships were unicorns and rainbows, but after …

Dealing with a Relationship Crisis: How a Little Distance Can Bring You Closer

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“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to go forward.” ~C.S. Lewis

When you’re in the middle of any sort of relationship crisis, the very last thing you want to do is let go. Conflict with someone you love often makes you want to do the very opposite, especially when the other person is already doubting the future of the relationship.

When we’re feeling threated by the loss of someone we love, we act from a place of fear. Our stress hormones sky rocket as …

How Meditation Can Help You Find the Perfect Friend

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“When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I meet with a lot of people who say things like, “Oh, I’ve tried meditation before but I’m just not good at it.” When asked to explain, the most common answer is, “I just can’t make my mind get quiet.”

I’ve heard responses like this so often that I’ve come to realize that this is the single greatest misunderstanding about meditation. In truth, meditation is not about calming our mind or achieving a state free …

Ending a Toxic Relationship: When It’s Time to Say “No More”

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“Worry less, smile more. Don’t regret, just learn and grow.” ~Unknown

The day finally came when my heart was strong enough to speak up.

I had spent many years trying to be the calm, sensible one. The one who would try to rationalize my sister’s behavior just to keep the peace.

For years the strategy was to keep everything in its place and accept what was said, done, or requested. The day finally came when the weight of accepting the burden was too much to bear.

No amount of talking would convince my sister that I was being reasonable. It …

The Secret Recipe for a Happy, Long-Lasting Relationship

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“Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience, and two people who truly want to be together.” ~Unknown

Things changed. You can’t put your finger on it, but you know it’s true. You wish you could make it better. You want to fix it.

The problem is that you don’t know how.

Maybe it’s already too late, and the relationship ended despite all your efforts.

In the barrage of cliché advice and consolation you get from friends, relatives, and “experts,” the answer is as elusive as ever. It’s not helpful when people tell you that it just wasn’t meant …

The Benefits of Flying Solo: Why I Took Time to Myself After My Breakup

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“Don’t let past relationships ruin your future happiness. Scars remind us of where we’ve been, not where we are going.” ~Unknown

I believe that the breakdown of relationships can lead to some of the most powerful lessons we learn in life.

When someone who we’ve been close to suddenly steps out of our lives, it can leave a huge emotional void. It can conjure up feelings of loneliness, vulnerability, anger, sadness, fear, and hurt, and the natural reaction is to go on a desperate mission to fill that void.

My relationship recently broke down. It was my choice, and though …

The Blessing of a Broken Heart: How Pain Can Lead to Healing

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“Never fear shadows. They simply mean there’s a light shining somewhere nearby.” ~Ruth E. Renkel

My last breakup was on April 16th, 2012.

I remember the date because on the evening of April 17th, as I sat with a blotchy red face and tears in my eyes, my dad told me I soon would remember that day and be glad I was no longer sad. “Men are like buses,” he said. “If one leaves you behind, rest assured another will come.”

I found his support very touching, but it did little to console me. If …

Why Self-Love Is The Key To Finding True Love

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“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.” ~Sonya Friedman

The moon was shining brightly that balmy summer’s night in the park. He’d arranged a meeting to “sort things out.” Little did he know I’d finally built the courage to walk away. And that’s exactly what I did.

I was devastated but mostly relieved. Finally, I was free.

For the longest time I’d craved his love. I needed his approval. I wanted the happy ending so badly.

Why? I meant something when I was with him. I felt worthy and kind of secure.

But I wasn’t. I’d given …

8 Solutions for Loneliness That Don’t Require a Romantic Relationship

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“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” ~Joseph F. Newton

The epiphany has finally occurred. Why on earth has it taken so long? I ask myself this as I look back on the last nine years, which I have spent trying to cover up my real issue. Loneliness.

After getting married at twenty and then leaving nineteen years later, it took another two years before I met another man that I fell in love with almost instantly. He told me from the very beginning it would never be a relationship, and yet I have persevered with our …

Transform Your Relationship by Assuming the Best Intentions

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“Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response.” ~Mildred Barthel

I used to think he was out to get me. The man of my dreams was continually plotting to undermine my happiness in countless ways, all for some mysterious reason I couldn’t comprehend.

“Can you give me a ride to work today?” He missed his shuttle on the morning I had my first speech, a forty-five-minute drive in the opposite direction. He obviously didn’t want me to succeed in my career.

“Are you wearing that tonight?” Oh great, just before we go out to meet …

Letting Go of the Lies That Make Us Feel Bad About Ourselves

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“Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on.” ~Alice Duer Miller

The man who I thought was my soul mate walked out on me fourteen years ago. He immediately remarried a lovely, beautiful woman who was everything I was not.

I am desperate to fall in love. I’m thirty-eight. I want a baby. I want a relationship. I feel alone.

A year ago, I fell unexpectedly in love with my photographer. Yes, star-struck romantics, it was just like the movies. Shy, awkward woman gets pictures taken for her brand-building website, and she is completely unraveled by his boyish …

You Are Enough (Even if You’re Not in a Relationship)

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Tamara Levitt, the talented writer and illustrator who brought us the inspiring video Ode to Failure, has created another uplifting short film about being single. If you’ve ever felt that you’re lacking because you’re not in a relationship, this one’s for you!