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Are You Running Away from Yourself?

“No matter where you go, there you are.” ~Confucius

I am accustomed to not moving. To move was to feel pain—the pain of seeing how worthless I believed myself to be. Sometimes I would sit in the same place for hours, sometimes not leaving the house for days.

By isolating myself, I avoided finding evidence in the outside world that proved how I saw myself was the absolute truth.

My worst nightmare was that others would show me (through what they said or didn’t say, or what they did or didn’t do) that they too found me as rotten as …

Growing from Pain and Using it to Discover Who You Are

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” ~Bernice Johnson Reagon

At the age of 37, my beautiful young mother, who I considered my best friend, crashed her car in light rain just around the corner from our home. We will never know what really happened because she woke up from her brain injury a very different person from the one who drove away that morning.

The experience of suddenly becoming a caregiver at the age of 16, along with my 13 year-old brother and the rest of our family, could …

The Power of Community: 6 Reasons We Need Each Other

“Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” ~Emily Kimbrough

Even though it was 18 months ago, I still remember my climb up Kilimanjaro like it was yesterday.

Taking those final steps toward the summit with tears in my eyes because I never believed that I—someone who grew up this sick little kid who held a deep-seated belief that she’d never be “an athlete”—would do something that thousands each year, including world-class athletes, cannot.

Yet there I was.

But I certainly didn’t get there alone. I had help—a lot …

Are You Shut Down and Disconnected?

“When we get too caught up in the busyness of the world, we lose connection with one another—and ourselves.” ~Jack Kornfield

I had to work on Easter at my job in a coffee shop. I missed out on my family’s big holiday party, and I struggled with quite a bit of resentment about the whole deal. I could have gotten someone to cover for me, but because I’m one of the more experienced employees and we were short-staffed, I was told that I needed to work.

I wasn’t too terribly happy. I came in to work and immediately launched into …

Winners for Tiny Buddha Book Giveaways

As you may have noticed, this was the first week I did not publish a blog post featuring two poll questions for my next book.

Previously, I published 10 of these posts, each with a giveaway for an autographed copy of my first book, Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions.

I’m pleased to announce I’ve chosen 10 winners:

I emailed the winners last night. If you are on this list and did not receive that email, please contact me …

Relinquish Stereotypes and Just Be Yourself

“Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.”  ~Walter Anderson

Society has a series of unwritten and sometimes unspoken laws they expect both males and females to abide by without question—a perceived set of standards and assumptions which span the generations and often shape, however haphazardly, the development of our youth.

From colors to activities; music to clothing; relationships to careers, an infinite number of stereotypes exist for the opposite sex, and society feels they are judge and jury—bullying, chastising, and poking fun

I Don’t Have to Be Perfect: It’s the Leap That Counts

“A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.” ~Proverb

I’m a “recovering perfectionist.”

I make perfect plans. At times, when I’m really working on my plans, I forget to live my actual life. Because I’m planning. Perfectly.

I had my first strategic plan when I was ten.

“Be a really, really good girl. Then, when you are sixteen, borrow the car and say that you are going to Drug Fair to buy hairspray. Instead, drive the fifteen minutes to your daddy’s house so that he’ll want you back.”

A year later I had to revise my first …

3 Simple Ways to Follow Your Bliss

“Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.”  ~Joseph Campbell

Several years ago, I learned about a month-long silent retreat designed to incorporate extended periods of meditation, three-times-daily hatha yoga sessions, and in-depth self-inquiry practices. The moment I heard about it, my heart literally jumped out of my chest and I knew I had to be there.

Yet, while my heart was gunning for it, I could not get my head around how to find the money for the airfare, accommodations, and registration fees. All told, the total …

Getting Back Your Belief in Yourself

“When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find ways to do it.” ~Dr. David Schwartz

Fifteen months ago I was in a rut. A rather large rut actually. The recession was well and truly in full swing, and I was up to my eyeballs in credit card and loan debt.

I could barely afford to live, let alone pay my mortgage, and there was the threat of losing my home hanging over my head every day.

I had spent most of my twenties and thirties working to pay the bills and the rent as …

Giveaway and Author Interview: The Misleading Mind

Note: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

Have you ever felt like your mind was controlling you, dragging you along for a persistently bumpy ride?

Research shows the majority of us feel this way, but the good news is that we can do something about—and Karuna Cayton’s book The Misleading Mind teaches us how.

A psychotherapist and practicing Buddhist, Karuna has written an easily digestible book that offers solutions to the mental anguish we often perpetuate …

Happy Is As Happy Does: Make Your Own Joy in Life

“Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.” ~Benjamin Disraeli

I used to get paralyzed with fear in the face of any load of work.

Suffering from crippling depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, and severely low self-esteem, I’d find so many thoughts battling me, making it hard to take action:

  • What’s the point of starting if you know you won’t finish?
  • You’re just going to waste your time putting in all that effort when you get rejected at the end.
  • Think about how much time that’s going to take! What if it’s all for naught?

Quiet Your Mind and Just Play (in 20 Ways)

“If it’s not fun, you’re not doing it right.” ~Bob Basso

I spend a lot of time contemplating and philosophizing about life. According to my mother, I spent the first year of my life silently observing the events around me with a serious stare and a furrowed brow.

I’ve always leaned toward reverent acts of self-discovery and introspection. In high school I studied Buddhist texts and on Sunday mornings. At age eighteen, when my college classmates were nursing hangovers, I was shopping around for a spiritual home, which I found in the form of my Unitarian-Universalist church.

For most of …

The Key to Beauty and Acceptance Is You

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I read this quote the other day, and I have to say, nothing has shaken me to the core more.

I was diagnosed with a rare form of muscular dystrophy at the age of two, and ever since, I’ve struggled with loving myself and with having self-confidence.

For the most part, you wouldn’t know I have a serious physical disability aside from my visible limp, my difficulty getting up and down stairs, and my tendency to …

When We Think Other People Are Better Than Us

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt.

I have a very bad habit.

It pokes me when I stop to browse newspapers and magazines.

It slaps me when I’m watching TV.

It punches me hard at the gym.

It knocks me down when I am walking down the street.

I compare myself to other women.

I’ve suffered from depression at points in my life, and I’ve suffered from low self-esteem pretty much always.

It’s not an uncommon trait, comparing ourselves to others. But it seems to be a particularly bad habit for me. Perhaps …

What We Really Need to Be Happy

“The real measure of your wealth is how much you’d be worth if you lost all your money.” ~Unknown

Standing, getting crushed on the metro at peak hour, I look around and my heart sinks. I’m surrounded by sullen faces, their eyes focused intently on games on their iPads and smart phones.

These are the sullen faces representing a world of people dreading going to work, dreading grinding away at a job they hate.

The gadgets they use as distractions during their morning commute are constant reminders of why they must put themselves through this daily hell. They feel they …

Be a Master of Where You Are Now

“Have respect for yourself, and patience and compassion.  With these, you can handle anything.” ~Jack Kornfield

I hadn’t taken a yoga class in a while, and in the midst of my busy schedule I finally gave myself permission to go. Needless to say it had been a few months since I found myself in a downward dog position.

Something was different about my participation in two classes I recently took. I wish I could say I was able to go deeper into the poses, but it was actually challenging because my flexibility is not where it used to be.

What …

How to Feel More Loved: 9 Tips for Deep Connection

“It is astonishing how little one feels alone when one loves.” ~John Bulwer

If there’s one thing we all want, it’s to feel loved.

We want to feel deeply connected to other people, fully seen and appreciated by them, and secure in those relationships.

We can have a million and one acquaintances online, but if none of our connections feel intimate and meaningful, we will ultimately feel alone.

There’s actually some interesting research that shows we tend to value physical possessions less when we feel loved and accepted by others, because relationships can provide a sense of comfort, insurance, …

How to Love Without Losing Yourself

“We love because it is the only true adventure.” ~Nikki Giovanni 

Last night I sat with an old friend who has recently broken up with his girlfriend. He’s sad. She’s sad.

I don’t think it was time for them to give up yet; he’s exhausted and disagrees. He says he thinks that he just loves to love. When you love to love, he says, it’s impossible to separate the act of loving from the person that you’re actually supposed to love.

He thinks that he’s too much in love with the idea of love to actually know what he wants.

Finding Positive Ways to Express Difficult Emotions

“Never apologize for showing feelings. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.” ~Benjamin Disraeli

Each day, month, or year I want to be something different when I grow up. At some point I want to open up a smoothie truck with a best friend, I want to teach yoga to cancer patients, and I want to travel to Australia and become a bartender just to support myself.

But more so than what I want (or think I want) to be, I know what I am. I am a wife, a sister, a friend, an Egyptian, a listener, …

Releasing Judgment and Allowing Others to Have Their Process

 “Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest.”  ~Sri Chinmoy

We live in a world of judgment. We qualify everything in varying degrees of right and wrong, good and bad, pretty and ugly.

We are taught from earliest childhood to judge everything and everyone. We label our days consistently, using adjectives like “beautiful” or “horrible.” Even the weather is not immune!

The presence of judgment is pervasive in our lives, yet subtle enough in some cases to pass unnoticed. 

I have worked for years at ridding my life of all …