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No One Was Coming to Save Me: The Insignificance I Felt as a Kid

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“Never make the mistake of thinking you are alone—or inconsequential.” ~ Rebecca McKinsey

I can still remember it as vividly as if it happened yesterday.

Our kitchen was small. Only enough room for a few people, and there were four of us kids scrounging to get our hands on the rest of the leftovers. It wasn’t a fight, but I can say with certainty that there was an underlying assumption that whoever got their hands on it first was able to claim it, so there was competition.

I grabbed my spoon first and then went to the fridge to …

5 Ways to Start Valuing Your Time and Making the Most of It

By in Blog, meaning & passion, mindfulness & peace

“It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

Oh, how I loved sleeping when I was a teenager. I would sleep for twelve hours, just as babies do.

And guess what else?

Another favorite activity of mine was taking selfies until I finally had a perfect one, editing it, posting it on social media, and waiting for likes. And scrolling through the feed.

Wow. So unusual nowadays.

I didn’t care what I was doing with my life. I chose a university degree just for fun and …

It’s Okay to Have No Purpose Beyond Being and Enjoying This Moment

By in Blog, meaning & passion, mindfulness & peace

“I don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.” ~Joseph Campbell

I was sitting on my yoga mat with my legs stretched out in front of me. I bent forward into a fold, puffing and clenching my jaw as I extended my fingertips toward my toes. I was growing angrier by the second.

A slew of sour thoughts marched through my brain.

This is stupid. I thought yoga was supposed to be relaxing. I’m so out of shape. Other people have no trouble with this pose. …

Take Your Power Back: 15 Things You Don’t Have to Do Anymore

By in Blog, happiness & fun, letting go, meaning & passion, mindfulness & peace

There’s little more frustrating than feeling stuck or trapped—like you have to accept things that aren’t good for you and can’t do the things you need to do to feel and be your best.

I think we all feel this way at times, and sometimes we do have to accept things that aren’t ideal, at least in the short term while we figure out a plan to make things better. Until we address our health issues, or find a less stressful job, or slowly unravel layers of grief or trauma to find some modicum of peace and healing.

But when …

When You’re Ready for Change: You Need to Believe in Your Future Self

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Growth is uncomfortable because you’ve never been here before. You’ve never seen this version of you. So give yourself a little grace and breathe through it.” ~Kristin Lohr

I was kinda sorta showing up.

To the outside world, it looked like I was doing all of the things. I was smiling. I was talking about exercise and eating well. I was posting happy, positive vibe quotes, but I wasn’t really showing up for myself.

I had experienced a miscarriage at thirteen weeks. This was supposed to be the safe zone. I had told family and friends. My husband and I …

Confessions of an Extrovert: Why I Now Love My Alone Time

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Allow yourself to grow and change. Your future self is waiting.” -Unknown

Not to be dramatic, but I really mean it when I say that solitude changed my life. I am an extrovert who loves humans, socializing, and learning from people and experiences. I’ve always enjoyed being around others, and don’t get me wrong, I still thrive this way. But when I got Covid in 2021, life completely changed, and it’s not the only way I thrive now.

Before Covid, I’d been living my life in a way that wasn’t serving me. I was partying a lot, not eating …

How I’m Healing from Abuse After Going in Circles for Years

By in Blog, change & challenges

TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of sexual abuse and may be triggering to some people.

“Recovery is a process. It takes time. It takes patience. It takes everything you’ve got.” ~Unknown

We are often told in therapy that we need to dig deep and explore our feelings until we find the root of our problem, as though we’ll finally have peace and relief just because we’ve found the “Nugget of Trauma.”

The problem with long-term childhood trauma is that there was not just one Nugget, or one moment that we were left reeling from. For many of …

When Positive Messages Feel Bad: Why I’m Changing How I Use Social Media

By in Blog, healthy habits

“How wonderful that we have met with a paradox. Now we have some hope of making progress.” ~Niels Bohr

Social media is indeed a paradox in that it has the power to be both good and evil simultaneously. Ironically, one of the most harmful things about social media is the abundance of “positive” messages.

You’re probably wondering how something that creates so much comparison, self-doubt, and anxiety can be “too positive.” What I mean is that social media messaging is starting to put a lot of pressure on us to be grateful and optimistic about our life no matter what …

10 Signs You’re Being True to Yourself

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

“The most confused we ever get is when we try to convince our heads of something that we know in our hearts is a lie.” ~Karen Moning

It’s painful and stressful to feel like you’re living a lie. Like you’re hiding how you really feel, saying what you think other people want to hear, and doing things you don’t actually want to do—just because you think you’re supposed to.

But sometimes we don’t recognize we’re doing this. We just know we feel off, or something feels wrong, and we’re not sure how to change it.

It makes sense that a …

7 Tips to Help Soothe Your Separation Anxiety

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships

“A little space, time, and distance can often be just what a relationship needs to bloom at its best.” ~Karen Salmansohn 

If you feel insecure in your relationships, there are many scenarios that can activate your anxious attachment; however, there is one trigger that can throw you abruptly into a state of despair and sheer panic.

That is the experience or threat of separation from the person you are currently attached to.

That lingering uncertainty when you don’t know when you will see your love interest next, when your partner tells you they have booked a weekend away, or …

Dealing with a Big Disappointment: How to Soften the Blow and Move On

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” ~Lao Tzu

In the middle of a storm, it is difficult to see any way out. But on the other side, we usually can recognize a silver lining—something we gained from the experience that enhanced our lives in some way.

When my husband unexpectedly died and left me a single mother to three young children, I could not conceptualize anything good coming out of it.

Yet, years later, I am here to tell you that the gutting, heart-wrenching experience taught me invaluable lessons that have helped me to not just survive but …

10 Things to Tell Yourself When Going Through a Hard Time

By in Blog, change & challenges

When life gets challenging, we often make things even tougher by being hard on ourselves.

We berate ourselves for feeling down, as if we should be positive and happy all the time. We minimize our feelings, as if we have no right to be struggling since things could be so much worse. And we hold ourselves to ridiculous standards, pushing ourselves to do more, keep up with everyone else, and respond to life’s stressors with perfect composure.

Or at least these are things I’ve done.

I know that life is messy and I’m only human, but sometimes I expect more …

Why I Attracted One-Sided Relationships and Gave More Than I Got

By in Blog, love & relationships

“I was once afraid of people saying, ‘Who does she think she is?’ Now I have the courage to stand and say, ‘This is who I am.’” ~Oprah Winfrey 

In May of this year, I decided to take a personal development course, hoping to resolve some of my limiting beliefs and raise my confidence to pursue my professional goals.

The course turned out to be far different from what I thought it would be, and it blew my mind. In just three days, I transformed the way I functioned in most of my relationships.

A week before the course, I …

All the Ways I Tried to Numb My Loneliness and What Actually Helped

By in Blog, change & challenges

“A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings.” ~Mandy Hale

I feel so alone right now. Like, crawling out of my skin, I’ll do anything I can do to not feel this way alone.

I haven’t felt this way in a long time. Thank goodness I have tools to take care of myself. Let me explain.

My earliest childhood memory is my mother’s empty bed. The sheets are white, untucked, and messy.  The duvet cover is loose and hanging halfway on the floor. The room is quiet, there’s no sign of mom, and I …

How I Lighten My Mood by Making a Bargain with the Universe

By in Blog, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“Pain is what the world does to you; suffering is what you do yourself.” ~Gautama Buddha

I don’t expect things to be a steady state of bliss.

In fact, I agree with the Buddha that suffering is pretty much part of the human condition. Our expectations just get in the way of our experiences. I’m talking about your garden-variety suffering here, not the kind that comes with traumatic events that take you out at the knees or devastating clinical depression.

I see the now-and-then emergence of lethargy or melancholy as part of the whole emotional spectrum. And, like stepping in …

The Truth About Mr. S.: The Sexual Predator from My High School Band

By in Blog, change & challenges

TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with accounts of sexual harassment and assault and may be triggering to some people.

“There can be a deep loneliness that comes from not having a family that has your back. I hope you can find supportive people who show up for you.” ~Laura Mohai

I feel and have felt extreme sadness, anger, isolation, and fear over several sexual harassments and assaults in my life.

The first time I was sexually assaulted I was seven. I was at a friend’s birthday pool party. My friend’s dad put his hand down my swimsuit and grabbed my …

How to Be a Lot Happier: A Simple Solution

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” ~Leonardo da Vinci

There’s a funny thing with us humans.

We spend our lives trying desperately to find happiness, and yet we don’t even know what it is. We can’t explain, describe, or define it. We just know that we want it because it’ll make everything peachy. Time and time again, though, studies have shown that our never-ending quest for happiness is quite often the very thing that makes us miserable.

Trying to find happiness is an exercise in futility. This is a truth I did not easily come to realize. It took a …

10 Signs You’re in a Toxic, Unhealthy Relationship and How to Help Yourself

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Love is never any better than the lover. Wicked people love wickedly, violent people love violently, weak people love weakly…the lover alone possesses his gift of love.” ~Toni Morrison

Not all relationships are created equal. Some rage in like a storm and leave you far weaker than you were before. As you try to process the wreck that is now your reality, you wonder, how did I end up here?

I found myself in a toxic and addicting relationship in my mid-late twenties. Now that some time has passed and allowed for reflection, I want to pass on some signs …

How Trauma Can Cause Mental Illness (It’s Not Just a Chemical Imbalance)

By in Blog, change & challenges

“What seems to be clear is that we humans are an accumulation of our traumatic experiences, that each trauma contributes to our biology, and that this biology determines, to some extent, how we respond to further traumatic events as they emerge in our lives.” ~Shaili Jain

The stigma of mental health is decreasing. That’s wonderful, but the way we’re doing it is wrong and damaging. We are ignoring the trauma that is so prevalent and pervasive in our society.

Think about how many times you’ve read something equating mental illness to cancer or some other disease. People say that taking …

How My Anger Helped Me Learn to Speak Up About My Needs

By in Blog, change & challenges

“If we are holding back from any part of our experience, if our heart shuts out any part of who we are and what we feel, we are fueling the fears and feelings of separation that sustain the trance of unworthiness.” ~Tara Brach

This morning I received a WhatsApp message, and I found myself immediately blown into a state of fury. On the surface the message didn’t seem inflammatory or dramatic; it was a simple request from another parent asking me to do something that wasn’t convenient for me. On the surface it didn’t seem like this message warranted such …