Category “change & challenges”

5 Breathing Techniques to Melt Your Stress Away

“Feelings come and go like clouds in the sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Breathing techniques are now such an important part of my daily routine. I couldn’t think of starting a day without doing my breathing exercises.

I usually combine these with my morning meditation, which, through sheer perseverance, I have made into a habit and have been doing for the last few years.

Almost everywhere you look, you can find stress—at work, at home, on the road. It’s hard to avoid it and even harder to not get sucked in.

I used to let …

The Mevii App: Support for Anxiety and Moderate Depression

By Lori Deschene

As someone who’s struggled with depression and anxiety, who runs a website that recommends tools and practices for peace and happiness, I was excited to learn about the Mevii app a couple months ago.

I’m even more excited to offer 500 readers a chance to try the app for free. But first…

What Is Mevii?

Mevii can help you manage your emotions, build coping skills, reduce stress, and feel better day-to-day, using strategies rooted in cognitive behavioral therapy.

At the heart of cognitive behavioral therapy is the idea that your thoughts and actions affect your feelings—whether it’s a fleeting emotion …

What You Need to Know When You’re Considering a Big, Scary Change

By Leah Cox

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” ~Nelson Mandela

Ten months ago I found myself floating on my back in an outdoor pool somewhere in California. Overhead was a clear blue sky, leaves dancing in the breeze, and birds singing their morning song.

I felt more alive in that moment than I had in years. And so I made a promise to myself, right there and then, not to forget this feeling. I made a promise that I’d follow it. I made a promise that this feeling wouldn’t just be a three-month trip to a new country, but …

How to Feel Better When You’re Down (Without Forcing Yourself to Be Positive)

By Anna Puchalski

“Forget the failures. Keep the lessons.” ~Dalai Lama

The year had finally come. I’d officially entered the “adult” world after celebrating my thirtieth birthday.

I’d enjoyed being in my twenties. It was an incredible time for self-growth and healing after growing up in an unstable environment with a narcissistic, alcoholic father, and also a time of living life fully, having fun, and going on adventures.

I felt pretty happy…until I hit thirty.

I began examining my life not so positively anymore.

Health problems had become more frequent and scary, my career path was ominous, I had not settled into …

How I Stopped Feeling Hopeless and Healed from Depression

By Vanessa

“Abandon the idea that you will forever be the victim of the things that have happened to you. Choose to be the victor.” ~Seth Adam Smith

I come from a history of abuse and mental illness on both sides of my family. I felt the effects of both growing up. By my twenties, I was a mess.

I suffered from wild mood swings and severe depression, either lashing out or completely numb and disinterested. I was using alcohol to numb myself from reality, and it was only a matter of time before I’d end up in jail or dead.

I …

4 Steps to Let Go of Stress, Negativity, and Emotional Pain

By Adam Fulmore

“It’s not the bite of the snake that kills you, it’s the poison left behind.” ~Tom Callos

Have you ever taken it to heart when someone said or did something mean to you? The likely answer is yes; most people have experienced negativity from another person—and it hurts.

But why did you take it personally? Because, like all of us, you want love. And we often assume when someone is mean to us that it means that we are unlovable.

Now, when a person is mean to me, I choose not to accept what they are offering. Also, I recognize …

Why We Should Stop Trying to “Fix” Other People’s Pain

By Cat Li Stevenson

“There is such a deeply rooted belief that we must do something with intense surges of feeling and emotion as they wash through: understand them, determine their cause, link them to some life circumstance or person, transform them, transmute them, or even ‘heal’ them.” ~Matt Licata

A few years ago, when I first started working for my current organization, one of my colleagues asked me what role I would most enjoy on the team.

I quickly said, “I like making things happen.”

That was so clear to me—I’m a natural do-er, organizer, and planner. It’s easy for me …

Dealing with Emotional Triggers: What to Do When You’re Stuck on a Feeling

By Shira Taylor Gura

“As you grow more practiced in noticing your triggers, offering yourself kindness and remembering that the power to heal your life is always available in the present moment, the situations that once set you off lose their explosive potential.” ~Martha Beck

Recently, I stayed with a friend I don’t see very often so I could attend a mindfulness event near her home. I took the train to her apartment about an hour before the event. We embraced and spent the first few moments together catching up on things.

And then my cellphone dinged.

Which, of course, it does every five …

4 Ways We Resist Life and Cause Ourselves Pain (And How to Stop)

By Holly Niederhofer

“When fear wakes up inside, and there is no place to run away or hide from it, consider it a gift. In all the glory of that discomfort, know there is refuge in surrender.” ~Erin Lanahan

When I was a freshman in college, I had a wise English teacher. Through everything he taught, he would always circle back to the theme that “life is a constant cycle of tension and release.”

I heard him say these words over and over, but I didn’t really listen. I wasn’t ready to yet. Still, this simple message always stuck in my memory.

I …

Why I Didn’t Kill Myself and Why You Shouldn’t Either

By Carrie L. Burns

TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of sexual abuse and may be triggering to some people.

“That’s the thing about suicide. Try as you might to remember how a person lived his life, you always end up thinking about how he ended it.” ~Anderson Cooper

I know what it’s like to want to die. I know the feeling of hopelessness. I know the sense of loneliness. I know the soul crushing despair and longing to fade into nothingness.

If you are reading this, then you know what I’m talking about. I’m not sure what brought you to …

How We Can Use Our Painful Emotions for Good

By Thomas Hahn

“The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy.” ~Meryl Streep

Growing up I spent a lot of time on the Internet browsing websites and looking at images. One image that stuck with me as a child showed an old man lying on a hospital bed, with tubes running into his mouth. In his hand, he held a “no smoking” sign.

As I stared at that image I began to think what it must be like to face the horrible consequences of failing health. I imagined the pain, the regret, and the desperation for …

Why We Don’t Need to Apologize So Often & How to Do It Well When We Do

By Paula Stephens

“The ability to apologize sincerely and express regret for the unskillful things we say or do is an art. A true apology can relieve a great deal of suffering in the other person.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

My life has been full of apologies. I’ve been on both the receiving and giving end of the good, the bad, and the ugly apology.

Just recently a dear friend who I hadn’t connected with in a long time reached out and asked if we could meet for coffee. I sort of backhandedly blew her off and told her I would try to meet …

10 Lessons My Mother’s Death Taught Me About Healing and Happiness

By Lindsay Harrison

“Grief, when it comes, is nothing like we expect it to be.” ~Joan Didion

This spring marked ten years since I lost my mother. One ordinary Thursday, she didn’t show up to work, and my family spent a blur of days frantically hanging missing person fliers, driving all over New England, and hoping against reason for a happy outcome.

My mother was prone to frequent mood swings, but she also talked to my two older brothers and me multiple times a day, and going off the grid was completely out of character. How does someone just vanish? And why?…

The Good News About Feeling Bad (And How to Get Through It)

By Lynn Newman

“To honor and accept one’s shadow is a profound spiritual discipline. It’s whole-making and thus holy and the most important experience of a lifetime.” ~Robert Johnson

There’s nothing worse than having a bad day (or week or years…)

Or when emotions take over and carry us away.

Or when our relationships bring challenges.

Or when we endure great loss.

Or when we wish that just once when things started getting good, they stayed that way.

But difficult times are really offerings that show us what no longer serves us. And once they’re cleared, they no longer have power over …

5 Simple Words That Can Turn A Bad Day Around

By Chloe Wigan

“If your heart is beating, if your lungs are breathing, if you are still alive… then it is not too late to do something kind, creative, generous, satisfying, and courageous. Today.” ~Alexandra Franzen

It was one of those days.

You know the ones—when nothing really bad happens, but everything just seems to go wrong. When lots of little annoying things happen and the day seems to spiral from there.

This was one of those days.

I had woken up with a headache and decided to hit the snooze button on my alarm (twice) so I didn’t have to face the …

We Have a Right to Grieve Losses Big and Small

By Liz Seda

“Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain.” ~Robert Gary Lee

It felt like I was being crushed by the weight of the world.

“Impossible,” I thought.

It’s impossible that people actually suffer this kind of pain and survive to tell the tale.

When I thought about it, my stomach contracted as if I’d taken a blow to the gut. I’d gasp for breath and try to find some air through the tears and in between sobs.

So this is what grief felt like.

Now I understood why denial is the first stage of grief. How could you endure this kind …

6 Empowering Lessons Death Taught Me About Life

By Prabha Rao

“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss in life is what dies inside us while we live” ~Norman Cousins

I am not dead and I am not dying, so you may wonder why I write that death has taught me what I need to know about life.

I lost my mother when I was fifteen. Being a teenager, thoughts of anyone close to me dying had not entered my head. My mother had a brief illness and passed away unexpectedly at age forty-seven.

I remember that my schoolmates came to see me, and I kept thinking …

Coping with Anxiety When People Aren’t There for You

By Mia Ohki

“People aren’t always going to be there for you. That’s why you need to learn to handle things on your own.” ~Unknown

Anxiety is a box around your mind. It’s the cage in which your deepest worries start to pace, then walk, and gain momentum until they’re out of control.

Once these worries and scenarios take off and hit the walls of this box, they’re trapped, and tension starts building.

It can be an exhausting cycle of stress that you might think you have to face alone if you want to avoid opening yourself up to pity or rejection.

You …

How to Move from Grief to Relief After Losing a Loved One

By Jeremy Stillman

“When a person is born we rejoice, and when they’re married we jubilate, but when they die we try to pretend nothing has happened.” ~Margaret Mead

It was five years ago this month that my father passed away from cancer. About four months before his death, his oncologist gave him a bleak diagnosis, telling him to get his affairs in order because he could die at any time.

Our entire family was dumbstruck. Here was a man who appeared to be strong and generally healthy.

He was a youthful sixty-eight years old. Just months into his retirement after a long …