It’s Okay to Be Sad After Making the Right Decision
How to Release Your Attachment When You Can’t Let Someone Go
I’m gonna be honest here, I can honestly say that I’ve never had any cords of attachment to a person, place, or thing—that is, until recently. This cord crippled me and broke me down to a point where I questioned who I was and my own personal strength.
I think before I tell my story it’s important to know what exactly a cord of attachment is and how it can hurt you. A lot.
Afterward, I’ll tell you why cutting cords is not very effective and what you need to do instead.
What is a Cord of Attachment?
People come …
How Self-Care Can Actually Save the Planet
“Take care of the earth and she will take care of you.” ~Unknown
The morning the sky turned red and the sun didn’t come out, I decided I wanted to sell my car. In a strange way, it seemed like an ultimate act of self-care.
Mind you, my wife and I are a two-car family and neither of us commute in the traffic-clogged Bay Area. So losing a car wouldn’t be a hardship. Instead, it would be a frank statement of living my values. A way to stage my own protest and live true.
I now understand this is …
A Love Note to Introverts: 10 Superpowers That Make You Amazing
“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your own heart. Who looks outside dreams, who looks inside, awakens.” ~Carl Jung
Dear Introvert,
We live in an extraverted world, one that is not always kind to introverts. You may be that introvert who was bullied because you were quiet, or who felt as though you never fit in. Maybe you used food, alcohol, or substances to numb the pain, which created its own set of problems.
First and foremost, know that you are perfect as you are.
Being introverted doesn’t make you weird, awkward, anti-social, or too sensitive. …
How to Best Comfort Someone Who’s Grieving
“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” ~Vivian Greene
Compassion is one of humanity’s greatest gifts. During times of suffering, such as following the death of a loved one, sufferers rely on the empathy of others to survive their ordeal. Yet, too often when someone is grieving, we do little more than offer an “I am sorry for your loss” because we are fearful of accidentally increasing their pain.
Speaking as someone who lost her husband unexpectedly after just over three years of marriage—and who has counseled many people …
Strong and Vulnerable: How I Learned to Let People In
“Vulnerability is hard. And it’s scary, and it feels dangerous. But it’s not as hard, scary, or dangerous as getting to the end of our lives and having to ask ourselves, ’What if I would have shown up?’” ~Brené Brown
January – 2012
I remember sitting in a small, dark room waiting for the surgeon to arrive.
My son had just had major surgery to treat a complex condition that had cost him his small bowel, and it had taken much longer than expected.
My stomach felt tense as the surgeon sat in the chair opposite us.
He looked at …
3 Ways My Anxiety Has Helped Me Love Better
“Quiet people have the loudest minds.” ~Dr. Stephen Hawking
I have wonderful family and friends and have always hoped that I would pass along a helpful legacy. Lessons for them to remember, memories to smile about, and love to lean into during hard times. For years, though, it seemed like the biggest thing I was passing down to my exhausted wife, flustered and at times terrified kids, and friends was my struggles with anxiety.
As my anxiety grew and the panic attacks came, I grew apart from those I needed the most. Hard for a son and wife to connect …
How to Befriend Our Unhealthy Survival Mechanisms
“Wounded children have a rage, a sense of failed justice that burns in their souls. What do they do with that rage? Since they would never harm another, they turn that rage inward. They become the target of their own rage.” ~Woody Haiken
Survival mechanisms are ways of being that we picked up along the way to help us cope with what was happening in our reality.
Getting mad at ourselves for doing what we do only promotes self-hate. We’re not bad or wrong; in fact, we’re pretty damn intelligent. We found ways to help us soothe our traumas, hurt, …
How Redundancy Can Be a Blessing in Disguise
“If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.” ~Thomas Jefferson
To most people, redundancy is a dreaded word.
It conjures up thoughts of hardship, of scarcity, and of struggling to make ends meet.
I have twice been made redundant, and at both times, it was difficult to accept.
Throughout the redundancy process, and for some time afterward, my emotions were all over the place, making it difficult for me to think straight.
But I’ve discovered that when we’re able to look back, we can sometimes see that redundancy might not …
What You Need to Hear If You Work Yourself to the Bone
“Quiet the voice telling you to do more and be more, and trust that in this moment, who you are, where you are at, and what you are doing is enough. You will get to where you need to be in your own time. Until then, breathe. Breathe and be patient with yourself and your process. You are doing the best you can to cope and survive amid your struggles, and that’s all you can ask of yourself. It’s enough. You are enough.” ~Daniell Koepke
A couple years ago, a colleague of mine died from overwork.
In the days leading …
Free Online Collective Trauma Summit (Starts 9/22)
When I started Tiny Buddha, one of my main goals was to help us all heal the traumas that haunt us and hold us back in life. In much the same way that our personal traumas hinder us each individually, our collective trauma adversely affects the whole world. And healing that trauma is critical for the future of humanity and the planet.
If, like me, you want to do your part to help us all heal the wounds that are passed down through generations, I highly recommend checking out the Collective Trauma Summit, a free, 10-day online event starting …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.