I’m Not Impressed by Money, Social Status, or Job Titles
Why I Drank, How It Destroyed Me, and How I’m Healing My Self-Hatred
TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of sexual assault and self-harm and may be triggering to some people.
Hi, I’m Adriana and I’m an alcoholic.
When I look back at my life, I realize it was inevitable that I’d end up here.
By the time I was nineteen, I’d already had a history of self-harm through cutting, a byproduct of my depression and anxiety. I was anorexic. I’d had a near cervical-cancer scare not once, but twice within a six-month period, leaving my gynecologist back in Sydney speechless. “I have never had a case like yours.”…
How to Ask for What You Want and Need (No, It’s Not Selfish)
“It’s not selfish to put yourself first—it’s self-full.” ~Iyanla Vanzant
I’ve always thought of myself as individualistic. When I was a teenager, I often felt the desire to go against the grain, dressing alternatively and shunning bands my peers liked because I felt they were too popular. So it came as a huge surprise to me when my therapist called me a people pleaser the other day.
I recently started cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia, and during the first session my therapist identified that I put other people’s needs and wants ahead of my own.
He’d asked me to give …
Breaking the Chains of Victimhood When You’ve Been Abused
“Toxically shamed people tend to become more and more stagnant as life goes on. They live in a guarded, secretive, and defensive way. They try to be more than human (perfect and controlling) or less than human (losing interest in life or stagnated in some addictive behavior).” ~John Bradshaw- Healing the Shame That Binds You
Do you feel like a victim? Are those around you suggesting that you are acting like a victim? Are these same people telling you to get over it and move on? Do these judgments and statements feel harmful or helpful for you?
Most people making …
A 7-Step Plan for Finding Love After a Devastating Breakup
“Resilience in love means finding strength from within that you can share with others.” ~Sheryl Sandberg
It took me a couple months to start repairing my broken heart after the toughest breakup of my life. I thought we were going to spend our lives together, but the gods of love had other plans.
After I’d grieved in healthy (and not-so-healthy ways) I knew I could take two paths: stay stuck in my misery or pick myself up, dust off my sadness, and make a plan to move on.
And now it’s time for you to move on and find love …
When Everything Falls Apart: How to Start Moving Forward
“I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you are not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” ~F. Scott Fitzgerald
Not too long ago, I had the worst week of my life.
Let me give you some background. Just over a year ago, I was diagnosed with a meningioma—a benign brain tumor. “It’s small,” I was told. “It won’t cause you any issues, at least not for several years.”
Fast forward to May 18, 2017. “It has grown. We need to start considering surgery or radiation.”
Whoa. Major brain surgery …
Why We Push Ourselves Too Hard and How to Work Less
“Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.” ~Unknown
I was sitting on the beach with my wonderful girlfriend, trying to relax on our vacation in Florida, yet I was racked with anxiety.
We were lying under a large umbrella, taking in the beautiful waves and swaying palm trees, attempting to recover from the past months (and years) of overwork and overstress. But all I could think about was a marketing initiative I was working on for a client.
The more I tried to chill, the more nervous I became. My girlfriend lay …
Kindness Isn’t Weakness (and We Need It to Survive)
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ~Leo Buscaglia
Many of us are brought up today to look after number one, to go out and get what we want—and the more of it we can have, the better.
Our society preaches survival of the fittest and often encourages us to succeed at the expense of others.
I was no different, and while I noticed a tendency to feel sorry for …
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