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Accepting Things for What They Are Instead of Resisting Change

Acceptance

“What we see is mainly what we look for.” ~Unknown

Years ago I was fortunate enough to travel on a Mediterranean cruise. I had just graduated from college and was in that difficult transition stage where I didn’t know what would come next. I was looking to relax, but also hoping that some soul searching would lead to clarity, epiphanies, and answers.

One day I thought I found them on the island of Santorini, Greece.

Between the blinding whites, the sapphire blues, the sun-kissed streets, and the black-sand beaches, I felt like I had been dropped in a utopia.

There, …

Friendly Reminder

Friendly Reminder

Source: Chibird

You Can Change Your Life with Tiny Daily Improvements

Man Walking

“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” ~Karen Kaiser Clark

Of all the people who have passed through my life over the years, the one person I remember the most was this old, ornery man who seemed to have the personality of a mule. Stubborn to the core, with a straightforward approach to everything, Phil was a difficult man to like, yet I learned to love him.

Phil didn’t speak much, but when he did, it came from the heart. He grew up in the mid thirties, in a rough Detroit neighborhood, composed mainly of Irish immigrants. In Phil’s …

Marrying Joy: You’re the One You’ve Been Waiting For

Marrying Joy

“Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” ~Alan Watts

There had been other voices asking such questions as “How can this be happening?” and “When will this end?” that I understood: My partner was planning his honeymoon before our divorce was final.

After the divorce, a voice asked a question I didn’t understand, “Will you marry me?”

“Marry me” popped into my head at what seemed to me the least likely times: talking zip codes with my new mailman at my new home, passing strangers on the street, visiting old friends, …

Inner Peace Begins

Inner Peace Begins

Source: Positive Outlooks

5 Simple Ways to Quickly Resolve Conflict with Your Partner

“Don’t make a permanent decision for your temporary emotion.” ~Unknown

You have a small disagreement with your partner, and before you know it, it escalates into a big fight. Sound familiar?

You then get dreadfully grumpy. You stick your head in the ground like an ostrich and ignore your partner. You think that you have the right to be grumpy or even angry.

You’re in “war” mode now, and you want to win the battle. You dig a trench, jump into it, and arm yourself with weapons.

You barely listen to a word your partner says, and all you want

Why Walking Away Is Sometimes the Most Compassionate Choice

“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.” ~Pema Chodron

In May 2012, I was appointed guardian and conservator of my father, and my brother was appointed co-guardian. Our father was declared mentally incompetent by the county court.

My father was, and is, an alcoholic. When I was growing up, he was an abusive alcoholic. He gave out wounds like gifts. He used words to cut us open, and then he threatened us with salt.

I lived in hypervigilance, and I learned that being alone, quiet, and invisible was the safest state

Worrying Won’t Stop Bad Stuff from Happening

Worrying

Source: Somewhere Over the Rainbow

The First Thing You Need to Do to Change Your Life

Bold Man

“Never forget: This very moment, we can change our lives. There never was a moment, and never will be, when we are without the power to alter our destiny.” ~Steven Pressfield

Altering your life in the smallest or grandest way is so simple, but it requires you to do something you likely are already doing all of the time.

If you’ve ever wanted to take up a discipline, begin a new business, stop an addiction, or start anything new, it’s the same for all.

Any life change requires one simple action: you to decide.

Over five years ago, I knew …

Making Love Last, Even When It’s Long-Distance

Couple

“Love as much as you can from wherever you are.” ~Thaddeus Golas

At the time I’m writing this article, I have been in a relationship for 1,369 days out of which 716 have been long-distance.

Yes, I keep track of the days, not just the months or the years, because I live every day, not every month.

I will not pretend the long-distance part has been an easy journey; and anyone who has dabbled even for a little bit in the idea of long-distance relationships can tell you that it takes a lot of love, but more importantly it takes …

99-Year-Old Woman Makes a Dress Per Day for a Child in Need

She’s almost 100 years old, but that hasn’t stopped Lillian Weber from making a massive difference in the world.

Every day she starts and finishes a unique dress for Little Dresses for Africa, a non-profit that distributes dresses to impoverished young girls in Africa and beyond. She’s made more than 840 so far, and hopes to keep going to reach her goal making 1,000.

What an amazing woman, and what an inspiring goal!

Try Not to Become Bitter: There Is More Good Than Bad

Man Silhouette

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.

A few years ago, when my younger son was about ten, the reality of the losses that go with living in this beautiful but flawed world suddenly hit him.

I’ll never forget the conversation. This was a child born two months before 9/11, and since we live in a New York suburb and my husband worked across the street from the Twin Towers, what was a loss for so many has been my son’s reality his whole life. Both of my sons are in the generation …

Life Is Full of Beauty

Life Is Full of Beauty

Source

Overcome Limiting Thoughts: 5 Ways to Be Happier and More Present

Happy and Present

“The past exists only in our memories, the future only in our plans. The present is our only reality.” ~Robert Pirsig

Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by unpleasant thoughts and feelings? Do they show up like an uninvited guest when you’re least expecting them?

About eight months ago, I quit a lucrative corporate job in finance to follow my passion, writing.

Like most things in life, this decision came with a cost.

And all the angst that comes with it.

A few months into my venture, I noticed my angst had become a large part of my mental world. I …

Things That Weigh You Down

Things That Weigh You Down

Source: DrRiseborough.com

Letting Go of the Attachments That Keep You Unhappy

“Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

My father died when I was fifteen, so I learned right away that life was too short. At the time, the only meaning I could grasp from his death was that my life needs to mean something.

I vowed to make something great out of myself.

I went to college determined to become a police officer. I had a strange gut feeling going in, something telling me that it was wrong, but I just assumed it was because I had a hearing loss, and …

How to Find Yourself By Losing Yourself

“Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.” ~Walter Anderson

Growing up in a small town in Western Canada, I was known as the kid who accomplished things.

I was the well-mannered and conscientious child who skipped grade two, was at the top of her class, played three musical instruments, took ballet lessons, French lessons, swimming lessons, and any other lesson in which I expressed an interest.

While this might sound like the calendar of an over-scheduled kid, it actually never felt that way. …

Buddha Doodles: Faith in Humanity

BuddhaDoodles_FaithInHumanity

Source: Buddha Doodles

What Happens When We Don’t Say What We Think and Feel

Talking

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” ~George Bernard Shaw

Can we just talk?

Those words can be a buzzkill on dates, and yet talking is the most profound interaction we will ever have with another human being.

A while back, my husband walked into the kitchen where I was reading an article on my phone and asked me if I had a chance to get a Father’s Day card for his dad (who lives in Canada). I said no I didn’t, and, since it was eight in the evening, I’d get it …

7 Ways to Put Life Back into Your Relationship

Couple Jumping

“Eventually you will come to realize that love heals everything, and love is all there is.” ~Gary Zukav

I was always a hopeless romantic. Since I was a little girl, I craved love and the fairy tale romance.

Growing up in a two-parent home, I was very fortunate to see that it was, in fact, possible. In my teen years, I remember fantasizing about the cute boy with the dimples and how he would take me to prom and eventually carry me over the threshold after our wedding night.

I thought that all relationships were unicorns and rainbows, but after …