I’m sorry that you’re going through this pain. It can be easy to get wrapped up in the things you are lacking in life. Maybe you are right, perhaps an attitude change would be good for you. Try to focus on the good things in your life and practice being grateful every day. Gratitude feels good so I think it will help you. Your parents love you but they may not express it the way you want them to and that’s okay. They’re only human. Try to accept them for who they are.

First of all..You are doing the right thing by getting professional help..when you think it’s beyond the control of your mind to correct your blues, please seek outside help…I just finished writing a reply to another person, might help your situation…I have been in those dark alleys where you feel very helpless..trust me….you have a long life ahead of you and there will be many instances in your life where you will look back and laugh at what you are thinking about yourself right now..It’s all going to be fine in the end, and if it is not fine, then it’s definitely not the end!..Hang tight..this has happened to you because the universe has much better plans for you in the future, long lasting love that will stay with you forever!

here is my way of coping when you feel worthless, alone, lost and sometimes even pathetic –

Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a time machine, you press a button and the machine takes you back in time into the concentration camps in nazi Germany..there you see thousands of people being subjected to the worst conditions and hardships humans could possibly endure, millions of people being executed just because they belonged to a particular race or religion…and yet people in those camps kept on living and surviving with the hope that one day, the madness will end..now open your eyes..aren’t you in much better situation than being in an concentration camp ? You may not have happiness or peace, but you have your freedom..isn’t that worth experiencing? we take our freedom so granted that we have forgotten that countless servicemen sacrifice their lives each day to keep our country free..close your eyes again and imagine yourself being in the world trade center when the planes hit..desperately trying to reach their loved ones, hoping to tell them one last time that they love them..or imagine yourself to be in the shoes of a cancer patient who has a few weeks to live…open your eyes..don’t you feel lucky that you have all the time in the world to express love and gratitude towards all the people that care for you?

When you feel really low and depressed, think of all the people who have/had worse than you..and automatically you will feel grateful for the gift of life that you have..and all you have to do is be grateful for it and live it to the best of what you can make it..as Antony Chektov said – “Any idiot can face a crisis – it’s day to day living that wears you out.”

Hang tight..you will feel better!

My heart goes out to you..there have been numerous occasions where I have felt the same..or asked myself what is the purpose of my existence..as Andrea said, this is a phase..it will pass..everyone goes through it sometime or the other in their lives..here is my way of coping when you feel worthless, alone lost and sometimes even pathetic –

Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a time machine, you press a button and the machine takes you back in time into the concentration camps in nazi Germany..there you see thousands of people being subjected to the worst conditions and hardships humans could possibly endure, millions of people being executed just because they belonged to a particular race or religion…and yet people in those camps kept on living and surviving with the hope that one day, the madness will end..now open your eyes..aren’t you in much better situation than being in an concentration camp ? You may not have happiness or peace, but you have your freedom..isn’t that worth experiencing? we take our freedom so granted that we have forgotten that countless servicemen sacrifice their lives each day to keep our country free..close your eyes again and imagine yourself being in the world trade center when the planes hit..desperately trying to reach their loved ones, hoping to tell them one last time that they love them..or imagine yourself to be in the shoes of a cancer patient who has a few weeks to live…open your eyes..don’t you feel lucky that you have all the time in the world to express love and gratitude towards all the people that care for you?

When you feel really low and depressed, think of all the people who have/had worse than you..and automatically you will feel grateful for the gift of life that you have..and all you have to do is be grateful for it and live it to the best of what you can make it..as Antony Chektov said – “Any idiot can face a crisis – it’s day to day living that wears you out.”

Hang tight..you will feel better!

Dear V,

Thanks for sharing your story. Please make it a habit to talk to people about your problems instead of internalize it. Having the possibility to say it out loud and get nurtured can take you a long way. Talking about your problems can be tough but right now you are experiencing the alternative – How does that make you feel?

If I was in your situation I would try to make a list of all the things in life I appreciate. Make a list of gratitude. Often times we are too busy telling ourselves what we are missing in our lives and forget to focus on the precious and lovely things we do have. I assume you can hear, see, run and talk? Most deaf, blind and handicapped people would almost die for those opportunities.

Make it a habit to read some positive and inspirational blogs every day. Give mine a read or find something you like. You will experience a lot of other people facing same troubles and challenges as you do today. You are the only one who decides the quality of your life. Determine that you are no longer going to drink, no longer going to be harsh on yourself and start developing healthy habits. I know it takes time and can be hard to do but look at the alternative my friend. You do not want to stay miserable like this.

If you would like me to assist you I would love to listen to your challenges and give you some guidance and opinions.

Best of luck,
Anders Hasselstrøm
http://www.andershasselstrom.com

Hello Paula…really sorry that you are in this place in your life. But hey cut yourself some slack, you made the first move and MOVED, for that my friend you need a really big pat on your back. And a reward as well just for you. Go out an dget yourself a new dress or a spa day…start investing in you.

I know it feels like you are making no headway yet you are… you have taken yourself and your kids out of the drama and to a place of serenity….did you expect it to be easy, for spending 17 years with your partner was after all 17 years…and with that is a life you both built..
Paula…try to start looking at the little things you have in your life, and begin with gratitude. The universe will align all like towards you and give you the strength to take the next steps that you need. And you dont know what those are… I speak from experience having been there myself, in a similiar situation, and know how tough it was….3 years later I have recovered and am in a state of peace and know that the only person in control of my life is ME…
I would love for you to keep your control and that can mean shutting off at times, and for now, going COLD TURKEY…believe me, it works…

Its all about you Paula…ONLY YOU CAN MAKE THE DIFFERENCE….and you have and be proud of your choices and stop feeding the energy of the past….the future awaits YOU….

Good luck dear

Kylie,

I am well, thanks for asking. The grief for my daughter (Aura) is a distant scar at this point, but its also 13 years later. The love is there, the sorrow is there… but its a small ache compared to the gratitude I feel for what she brought, what she helped awaken in me and her mother.

As for the life that is here and now for me, things are going really well. My love for everyone is growing, and as I connect to people I am continually inspired by their love, courage, tenacity and wisdom. Like yours! For instance, I know you see loss and pain, which I see too, and cry a little alongside you. But I also see an incredible mom and woman, who despite a tumultuous background has a heart that beats strong and true. How awesome is that! 🙂

With warmth,
Matt

Daria,

You aren’t lost, you are just unaware of where you are. 🙂

How did I do it? Please keep in mind I am still doing it. I am a work in progress. I still make mistakes, I still treat myself without love and compassion and get caught up in my fears but I seem to have developed the ability, something I never had or even realized I was missing, to eventually sort through it all. I pretty much had lived under the idea of “I felt it therefore it was”. I realized how very wrong that was.

The number one thing I started doing was praying at night in bed. At first it was desperate, I was literally begging for help and strength. As I threw my energy out night after night I started to feel differently. A bit of clarity came in. I started to feel the urge to pray for the person who had harmed me the most. I began to see him differently. I see him differently now. I realize what he did had nothing to do with me. To be able to honestly hope that someone who had harmed me so much would find peace and happiness was something I cannot describe. I know with all my heart that the road to peace and happiness is one of compassion and love towards others. Even if those others have deeply harmed you.

I also started trying to create a quiet mind where I could draw in the positive and let the negative pass me by. This was huge for me. I still struggle with this but I am getting better. At first I was just a woman sitting quietly full of loudness. My emotions, my fears, my inner self created a music that was nothing but ear shattering. In time, it started to calm down and I could start to see the pieces of the hellish melody. I started to choose what I kept and what I let go.

I also started reading happy things. I stopped reading the morning news that is so full of heartache. I started to read here quite a bit and Tiny Buddha is the number one part of my morning routine to love myself. Never do I step away without feeling better. Never do I step away without a piece of wisdom that I can put in my toolbox. Gratitude somehow started to fill me.

What should you do? Know that what a person does is their karma. It has nothing to do with us. Also know how we choose to respond to a person’s actions is our karma. We do have control, quite a bit of it, but only over ourselves.

Start loving yourself. Do things that fill you with peace and happiness. Know that loving yourself is the best way to love others. If you are not in a good place, you cannot really be good for anyone else.

How will you know what are your fears and what is your inner self? You just will. The fears start to become clear and you will see they can be dismissed. What resonates from your inner self cannot. Your inner self is not a whim, it is not a reaction to the moment, it is a steady hum that is with you always.

I am heavy with the thought I have provided no answers and only have created more questions. Your answers are out there. Matt touched upon so much that both of us should embrace. My love is with you Daria. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since your first post and you have someone who prays for your peace and happiness. You are so very deserving of it. It will be yours and then you can share it with the world. How could anything be more wonderful than that?

Thankyou for this brilliant post,

I was looking on the internet hoping for some similar advise. A few years ago, I went to medical school.
Slowly, I began to realise, through the general aura of the place and meeting people there the vast shadow
of medicine. It was after having dropped out that I finally read the statistics on abortion and that people
now call it an abortion holocaust. Generally the process was too much for me and I did lots of bad things
and I have lots of things which now cause me pangs of guilt.

But putting aside self-control issues, and thinking more about inner stuff, I feel mainly that now I have learned
how to experience empathy (I was born with dissociation disorder and didn’t used to know how to generate
much in the way of emotion)….I’m finding that I sort of miss my old self, even though my former self was very
unaware of the amount of suffering had by people in the world. I reflect each day on things like homelessness
and prostitution, and like the person above, has got into a habit of keeping up to date with my main concern,
abortion. Reading about that each day has upset me a lot, but I can’t seem to stop reading the news updates
and seem preoccupied with thoughts about the after-lives of beings who are doing these things.

I feel I understand Buddhism more since developing these deeper emotions, but also feel I must not be doing it
in a balanced way because, like the person above, I have begun to feel suicidal/ life is less worth living.

I don’t want to ignore the pain of people, but on the other hand, I would like to spend some of my time as I did
formerly, sort of trusting the universe and practising gratitude and so forth. But if I do that now, its come to the
extent I feel guilty for “cherishing” having a place to live and I start to get quite unhappy almost as if these various
things are happening to me.

Hi there…in response to your question,

“How do I let go of making a mistake and come to grips with the present so I can move forward.”

If the only think you can say all day every day is THANK YOU…. let it be that…

Gratitude comes a long way and when it comes down to our last days its relationships that matter most, not money…so focus on what you have daily esp your relsionships and watch all that doesnt matter disappear, ie your problems…

Good luck

Hi Csaba,

so sorry to hear about this. I think you are very brave to ask her out and I also think it’s very brave of your friend to say what she really feels. It’s really cool that you guys are still such good friends. I think Lindsay is right, you will have to accept what has happened. Accept your feelings, just let them be.

Maybe what will help you is gratitude. It’s very powerful and it is a way of accepting the moment as it is. Think of the things you can be grateful for and stop focusing on what you don’t have. For instance: you can be grateful that this lovely girl is part of your life, that you met her and that you are friends (because that is what actually is right now). To practice gratefulness you can write down some things every night (or there are also apps for your smartphone – gratitude journals). You can be grateful for small things, like tea or your toenails, but you can also be grateful for big things, like the love you get from your family or that you have the opportunity to learn things at college.

Getting over this will take time, you won’t forget easy and that is okay. Give yourself that time, be kind to yourself. Find something to focus on that is fulfilling for you (your studies, a hobby). Guard your thoughts, let them be positive.

I wish you lots of strength and love,
Karin

1. I like that I’m funny. Humor often gets me through difficult situations, and it is one of the ways I make friends.
2. I like my gratitude, and my “count your blessings” point of view.
3. I like that I can play piano for hours and live in the music for a while.
4. I like the way I can intuitively feel what others are feeling, and truly understand who they are and where they come from.
5. I like my dedication to the betterment of myself and my perception of the world around me.

Maison,

I’m sorry for the unmanifested dreams and visions, and the suffering you have from seeing the potential crumble. It can be painful to say to least, especially for artists. I am impressed by your passion. A few things came to heart as I read your words.

The way I see art, it is not about us… its about creativity and energy colliding, connecting with a medium, and through that connection revealing some piece of magic, an aspect of nature. If your creativity is anything like mine, there are probably hundreds of inspirations that float through your vision. If we consider manifesting those visions as the source of our joy, then we miss out on the 99% that remain ephemeral. Said differently, if we attach to the manifested art as the source of our joy, then we only get a few breaths of happiness. If we can accept that the inspiration itself is a gift and a joy, then we can remain joyous no matter what.

The benefit of approaching our artistry in such a way is it makes us resilliant to becoming big-headed when we get praise (which chokes our connection to inspiration ) as well as the aggravation that can arise when our art is unappreciated. For instance, in your situation, you were given the gift of a vision of a movie, and because it did not manifest, you suffer. If you could accept the vision itself as the gift, the joy, and open to it with gratitude instead of ego and “they failed me” then you could be content that you did your part as well as you could have and move on. This frees your mind to jump into another creation without looking back.

This is what I do with my words to people online. I breathe in, digest the vision of their words, then breathe out from the heart my best artistry (capturing healing energy into words). Then I move on, find a new horizon, a new brother or sister in need and do it again. If I lamented every failed attempt, or celebrated each success, the actual flow of my energy would decrease. For me, the healing is the purpose, the actual words that come out are never exactly the same as the vision, words are too clunky…. but its not about me, its about my heart meeting up with each moment as clearly as it can. Similarly, I bet your heart sings in tune with the message behind your art, which is why you can flip between mediums so easily. However, in this case your medium was the group, and you flubbed it. You tried to paint a canvas that had its own agenda, its own texture, and the result is exactly what you put into it. This doesn’t mean that people can’t be trusted, it means that you chose partners that did not share your vision or passion. That’s not their fault, they were just being themselves.

Also, consider that arts beauty arises not within the art itself… the art is just a lump of stone, pigments on canvas and so on. Rather, the beauty is in the connection it forms with the audience, and the thoughts and emotions it brings forward in their body.

Namaste, friend, may you find love, light and limitless inspiration.

With warmth,
Matt