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Posts tagged with “happy”

Why No One Wants Unsolicited Advice (and What Actually Helps)

“To meet complaint with unrequested council earns for the advisor a fortune of hidden contempt.” ~Greek Proverb

When people start dumping their complaints and woeful stories on you, how do you respond?

Do you see it as your golden opportunity to be of help to them?

Do you make it your mission to put your wealth of knowledge and wisdom to good use by coaching them through their difficulties?

I mean, isn’t this a great chance to share the extent of your wisdom and understanding, and also be of help to someone in their time of need?

But the most …

Learn to Be Happy Right Now

9 Beliefs You Have to Let Go If You Want to Find Inner Peace

“Enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It’s seeing through the facade of pretense. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.” ~Adyashanti

I don’t know exactly when it happened.

It was probably about eighteen months ago, maybe a couple of years. I can’t really remember, and it doesn’t really matter.

I was up to my neck in stress, and having one of those days.

It was one of those days where you wake up late and your neck is a …

How I Got Stronger and Healthier After Giving Up Animal Products (A Vegan Q&A)

“Your body is precious. It is your vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.” ~Buddha

Not that long ago, I ate meat every single day. Every. Single. Day. For breakfast, I used to have fried eggs with feta or cottage cheese and turkey ham. My lunch consisted of minced beef or chicken with veggies. My dinner was then either leftovers from lunch or more meat/fried eggs/sometimes fish with veggies and cheese.

I followed an intense workout routine, went to the gym five to six times per week to lift weights, and on top of that did another two cardio sessions …

5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Start Looking For Love

“Don’t rush into any kind of relationship. Work on yourself. Feel yourself, experience yourself and love yourself. Do this first and you will soon attract that special loving other.” ~Russ Von Hoelscher

Being in love is awesome. Sharing your life with someone special who gets you, adores you, and loves you for who you are is amazing. Sometimes, though, we need to work on ourselves before we are ready to attract a true love like that.

Rather than jumping into yet another romantic adventure without thinking, I encourage you to answer these few questions. I know, at the time of …

Why Cancer Was the Beginning of My Life, Not the End

“It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

Cancer.

I’ll never forget the moment the words fell from my doctor’s mouth. In one fell swoop, the “perfect” persona that I’d spent thirty-plus years carefully constructing received what would ultimately become a fatal blow. Following that fateful day of demarcation, my life would never again be the same.

But let me back up a bit.

By the time I’d arrived at my early thirties, I was cloaked in all the trappings of outward success: a lucrative career in the high-paced, high-stress …

Feeling Anxious? People-Pleasing Could Be to Blame

“Living with anxiety is like being followed by a voice. It knows all your insecurities and uses them against you. It gets to the point when it’s the loudest voice in the room. The only one you can hear.” ~Unknown

White lights flutter before your eyes. Your chest tightens, as if under the weight of a hundred ten-pound bricks. You wonder if your next breath will be your last. Emotions rip through you: fear, glooming dread, hopelessness. Without warning or clear cause, these feelings consume you.

You start to wonder if you’re going crazy. It’s like you no longer have …

Why Scientists Agree That Dancing Is the Best Way to Get Fit and Live Longer

“You only live once; but if you do it right, once is enough.” ~Mae West

The other day, I saw a bit of a clip from a video of the Stones’ last world tour. Mick Jagger was prancing round the stage like an eighteen year-old.

It was a bit depressing. Why can’t I do that still?

I used to be a demon dancer. Well, I thought I was at the time, like teenagers do.

I don’t feel like a demon dancer now. I really ought to get some more exercise.

Do you feel like that? That you ought to …

Life Isn’t a Grocery List

An Improbable Story of Healing and a Girl with a Wand

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou

It’s the worry, I think. The constant worry. Is she safe? Will she make the right choices? Will she find a young man that will cherish and support her? The worry is always there. It never leaves.

She recently visited Los Angeles for the first time. A business trip. She had a few hours to kill. What to do? The Wizarding World Of Harry Potter! The girl is not shy. Flying solo …

Why Anger Isn’t “Bad” and How I Learned to Hear Its Hidden Message

“Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.” ~Maya Angelou

I’ve always had a complex relationship with anger.

When I was young, I used to think I was somehow above anger. I would brag to people that I never got mad. Sure, I’d admit, I hated some people, but at least I wasn’t angry.

When I began therapy in my mid-twenties to deal with persistent depression and panic attacks, I started to see the feebleness of that particular story. I did get angry, it turned out, quite …

How to Keep Going When Your Dream Seems Far Off

“Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.” ~Oprah Winfrey

I needed a bit of extra cash last month, so I took on a temporary events role working at a local design exhibition.

I’ve worked in events before, so I didn’t think much about it.

I just knew that I needed some money, I liked doing events, and a short contract had presented itself.

It seemed perfect!

So off I went to my first shift, feeling pretty good about myself and about life.

The first event was at a studio in a deserted …

How I Stopped Chasing Happiness and Started Enjoying My Imperfect Life

“I want to live my life without stress and worries. I don’t need to be rich or famous. I just want to be happy.” ~Unknown

Have you ever set a goal and then become obsessed with it, making it the center of your life and arranging everything else around it? Did you think that only after you achieved your goal would you be totally relaxed and happy?

I’ve done this many times before.

Throughout my life, I’ve measured my happiness by my achievements. I pushed to get good grades in school, then focused on going to a good college, then …

How to Move Let Go of the Fear of Judgment and Break the Silence of Shame

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.” ~Brené Brown

Every time I think I’ve unloaded most of the pain from my past, something surfaces that tells me I have more work to do.

A couple of weeks ago, my boyfriend and I were cuddling one morning. I’m not sure what the trigger was, but out of nowhere, my thoughts rolled down a hill and into a painful memory that I must have blocked out.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as my whole body curled up into the fetal position. He …

Highs and Lows Are Part of Growth and It All Makes Us Stronger

Just like a muscle needs to tear to grow stronger, sometimes we need to wade into our own darkness to find a brighter light.” ~Lori Deschene

Sometimes we need to journey into the deepest, darkest, scariest, most painful places inside in order to reach the next level.

This is what happened to me earlier this year.

When I was younger, I was in an abusive relationship that created a lot of stories in my head. These stories became beliefs that I carried around for a long time. Beliefs like, “I’m not good enough,” “Relationships are painful,” “I don’t …

There Are Some People You Just Can’t Help

“Be there. Be open. Be honest. Be kind. Be willing to listen, understand, accept, support, and forgive. This is what it means to love.” ~Lori Deschene

A few months ago, I was totally freaked out.

I was having a cup of tea with a soul-sister friend, and we were in deep conversation. I was crying.

I was explaining, between hiccupping sobs, about how there was someone in my life who was suffering deeply.

Sitting at the café that day, I said to her, “There is this person in my life that I love so deeply, but he is suffering.”

I …

What to Do If Your Life Story Depresses You or Holds You Back

“The truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new.” ~Pema Chodron

Too often we let stories from our past define us. We tell them over and over to ourselves and to others until it becomes our truth. What if, without deviating from actual facts, we choose to tell different stories? What if these new stories could bring us more freedom and strength?

Below are some true facts about my own life. I’ll follow each one with the stories I could be telling myself about each one, followed by the story I choose to go …

The Introvert’s Hate/Hate Relationship With Spontaneity

“The man who is prepared has his battle half fought.” ~Miguel De Cervantes

They say you should live in the present, and “they” form a chorus of voices that is growing in number by the second. Everywhere you turn these days, the message is loud and clear: life is better when you live in the moment.

I get it; I really do. I know that when I hit that flow state, regardless of what I’m immersed in, time passes in a heartbeat and I tend to really enjoy myself.

It’s just that I would prefer it if I could …

What to Say (and Not to Say) to Someone Who’s Grieving

“Remember that there is no magic wand that can take away the pain and grief. The best any of us can do is to be there and be supportive.” ~Marilyn Mendoza

My mother, an articulate and highly accomplished writer, began to lose much of what she valued a few years ago. Her eyesight was compromised by macular degeneration, her hallmark youthful vigor was replaced with exhaustion, and many of her friends began to die. Finally, and cruelest of all, her memory began to go, slowly at first, and then with increasing speed.

Her struggle and her suffering in the last …

The Simplest Way to Make More Time for What Matters

“We’ve all heard the saying, stop and smell the roses. But it would be far better to be the gardener who grows the roses and lives with them constantly.” ~Deepak Chopra

What would it take to befriend time? To see time as an ally, a friend even—an opportunity?

Most of us have a much different relationship with time. One that is based on scarcity. The chorus of “I don’t have enough time” reverberates through conversations, social media channels, and personal mutterings.

Redefining our relationship with time isn’t like flipping a light switch. But it is a bit like pumping gas …