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Posts tagged with “healing”

What to Say (and Not to Say) to Someone Who’s Grieving

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“Remember that there is no magic wand that can take away the pain and grief. The best any of us can do is to be there and be supportive.” ~Marilyn Mendoza

My mother, an articulate and highly accomplished writer, began to lose much of what she valued a few years ago. Her eyesight was compromised by macular degeneration, her hallmark youthful vigor was replaced with exhaustion, and many of her friends began to die. Finally, and cruelest of all, her memory began to go, slowly at first, and then with increasing speed.

Her struggle and her suffering in the last …

How Creativity Heals Us and Why It’s a Gift to the World

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“Creativity is the way I share my soul with the world.” ~Brené Brown

I wrote a poem today for the woman I love(d).

Just a few weeks ago, I fully believed she was the one I’d be with forever. Love forever. My heart was open so deep and wide to her. We talked about marriage and living together in the woods, making art, and being a family.

Then things got tough. We talked, we tried, we read books, jetted our intention out into the universe. But we just couldn’t keep it together.

There was so much pain. But also …

Making the Hurt Visible: How I Stopped Hating the Man and Learned to Listen to Myself

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“Ignoring isn’t the same as ignorance, you have to work at it.” ~Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale

We’ve just passed the year anniversary of an event that has greatly changed our country. The shock of the election results last year sent waves of powerful emotions rippling through our nation.

Personally, I felt the effects as intense and immediate grief. It was as though I had just lost my dearest companion.

I had days of shock, despair, feelings of intense cold with physical shaking and episodes of vomiting and nausea, followed by weeks of sleepless nights, spontaneous sweating, nightmares …

Never Wish Them Pain

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Breaking the Chains of Victimhood When You’ve Been Abused

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“Toxically shamed people tend to become more and more stagnant as life goes on. They live in a guarded, secretive, and defensive way. They try to be more than human (perfect and controlling) or less than human (losing interest in life or stagnated in some addictive behavior).” ~John Bradshaw- Healing the Shame That Binds You

Do you feel like a victim? Are those around you suggesting that you are acting like a victim? Are these same people telling you to get over it and move on? Do these judgments and statements feel harmful or helpful for you?

Most people making …

Lost Everything? 8 Tips to Help You Get Back on Your Feet

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“Tough times never last, but tough people do.” ~Robert H. Schuller

About two years ago, I was working in a professional career that I had been building for nearly twenty years.

I had been at my company for thirteen years, and had been generally commended and given positive reviews and regular bonuses and raises for most of that time.

I had just left a terrible and traumatic relationship, and due to two years of criticism, gaslighting, and conflict, was experiencing severe depression. I was on medication that made it hard for me to focus and which gave me anxiety …

The Best Things in Life Are Free (and Healing)

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“The six best doctors: sunshine, water, rest, air, exercise, and diet.” ~Wayne Fields

I’ve always believed the best things in life are free. Sunshine on your skin next to a body of water ranks up there as one of my favorite experiences. I love nothing more than to be in a pool in the summertime.

Though doctors have helped me with my depression, nature has provided me with my best doctors. When I’m in nature, I feel restored.

When I was a child, I used to like to go on adventures. I would venture off into my parents’ backyard …

Dealing with Bullies: How to Cope When People Are Cruel

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“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” ~Dr. Wayne Dyer

I was the quintessential late bloomer, not hitting my growth spurt until my junior year of high school. I’m six feet tall now, but for all of middle school and the first half of high school, I was one of the shortest kids in the entire school.

Additionally, some thought I had a slight lisp. I was extremely self-conscious about it after a few people unkindly pointed it out to me. During my senior year I wore Invisalign braces, which corrected my teeth and improved …

Love Hurts: Buddhist Advice for the Heartbroken – Interview and Book Giveaway

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Note – The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. They are:

  • Jennifer Moore Hardesty
  • Margie Lynn
  • Dr. Mac
  • Ryan
  • RB
  • Justme
  • Rogério Cardoso
  • Fernanda Garza
  • Benjamin E. Nichols
  • Terri Cross

When you’re dealing with heartbreak, it can feel like the pain will never go away.

You may know, intellectually, that everything heals with time, but in that moment, when you’re suffering, it’s hard to hold onto hope.

Like all humans, I’ve experienced my fair share of loss, and I’ve felt scared, depressed, alone, betrayed, rejected, regretful, and angry—with other people, with myself, and with the world.

Losing someone or …

Forgiveness Isn’t Weakness – Don’t Let Anger Hold You Back and Weigh You Down

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“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.” ~Gandhi

For many years forgiveness was not in my mind, let alone my vocabulary. I was taught to believe that forgiveness was a sign of weakness, and I certainly did not forgive anyone who hurt me.

In the past, I have engaged in acts of revenge, which I thought was the right thing to do at those times. I was wrong.

One event that springs to my mind was when I was the target of a cruel prank. A group of guys had taunted a young man …

Let Yourself Feel, Let Yourself Heal

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Healing from Childhood Abuse: Get Help and Take Your Life Back

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TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of sexual abuse and may be triggering to some people.

“No one loses their innocence. It is either taken or given away willingly.” ~Tiffany Madison

Childhood innocence. When I think of it I always picture a baby lying on their back, playing with their feet. They are laughing, cooing, smiling, and lost in a sense of wonder. Full of joy, love, curiosity, and awe. When you look at them you can’t help but smile, and their joy and laughter are infectious. At this moment, they are perfect.

Now have all that taken …

Surviving Loss: You Always Have Choice

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“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” ~Stephen Covey

One ordinary night after an ordinary day of work and family, I went to bed a mother, wife, teacher, writer-person.

I remember falling asleep between sentences exchanged with my husband after an evening spent with just the two of us on our patio, something we rarely seemed to find the time to do in our busy lives. We promised each other that we’d make a concerted effort to have more of these “dates.”

The next morning, on what was supposed to be another …

The Spirit Heals with Joy

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Why I Forgave My Cruel, Abusive Father

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“It’s not an easy journey, to get to a place where you forgive people. But it is such a powerful place, because it sets you free.” ~Tyler Perry

I still remember the day when I told my mother that I no longer wanted to be at home. I’d had enough of so much pain and sorrow, and the constant yelling. Soon after, I watched my mother cry bitterly as she made the decision to get a divorce.

I was ten years old at the time.

My father had always been a very strict man, who used to believe that …

To Fully Heal Your Broken Heart, Make Sure You Do This

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“Grief is healthy and it is healing.” ~Richard Moss

When I was a little girl there was this belief floating around in my head that there was only one person. One person who was my soulmate. One person who could love me. I think the belief was formed by some concoction of Disney movies, religion, and American culture.

What’s worse than this belief is that I somehow found myself afraid that I wouldn’t even have one person. I was afraid I would be alone. Forever.

I don’t know when I adopted the belief that I wasn’t enough, that I …

Healing from Depression: It Begins With Asking for Help

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“I speak of a clinical depression that is the background of your entire life, a background of anguish and anxiety, a sense that nothing goes well, that pleasure is unavailable and all your strategies collapse.” ~Leonard Cohen

Right before my eighteenth birthday, when I was about to go to university, I was hit by a car and sustained multiple fractures to my right leg. This led to a couple of operations and the best part of ten months with me unable to walk.

While all of my school friends and peers were having the time of their lives in …

Coping with Suicide Loss: 9 Lessons for Hope and Healing

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“It takes courage to endure the sharp pains of self-discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.” ~Marianne Williamson

“That boy is one in a million, Jill. He’s one in a million.”

These were my grandfather’s words to my mum about my brother, Mitch, when he was just a kid. He really was one in a million—a light that shone so bright as a child and early teen, only to then fade into shadows of desperation and defeat as he grew into adulthood.

No one really knows what’s going …

Healing the Inner Child: Free Yourself from Subconscious Pain

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“The child is in me still and sometimes not so still.” ~Mr. Rogers

We’ve all been there. Either we’ve said “Stop acting like a child!” to someone who we felt was acting immature, or someone said it to us in a moment that we’re not too proud about. Many couples would sum up their frustration with their partner by saying that, at times, they act like a child.

For many of us, we continue to feel frustration and disdain for the part of us that seems to repeat in failure, pain, or foolish behavior. Whether it’s unhealthy relationships, acting …

Healing from Heartache: How to Ease the Pain

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“Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.” ~Max Ehrmann 

If you looked at your broken heart and allowed for tenderness, you would feel better. Maybe not completely better, but there would be a softening. Compassion for yourself is soothing. When our hearts are aching, we need all the soothing we can get.

If you looked at your broken heart from the perspective of the loving mother within you, you would see that the only thing you need right now is …