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Search Results for "comparison" — 227 posts
Releasing Comparisons: No One Is Perfect and We All Deserve Love
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” ~Theodore Roosevelt
I spent my teenage years and early twenties believing that my weight was my worth; that I had to look and be a particular way to be accepted or loved.
I lived in a negative cycle of comparing myself to everyone. I remember sitting in on one of my lectures in university, trying to work out if my lecturer was fatter or thinner than me.
I look back now and wonder how many times I missed the fun and parties I was too scared to go to because I felt too …
How to Use Comparisons for Growth Instead of Feeling Inferior
“The heart is like a garden: it can grow compassion or fear, resentment or love. What seeds will you plant there?” ~Jack Kornfield
Comparison is something we all struggle with at one point or another. Although it’s something that conventional self-help wisdom urges us to avoid, it’s also a way of gauging where we fit in the world.
Usually, when we engage in comparison, we do so from an ego-based perspective and find ourselves (or others) lacking. This approach doesn’t benefit anyone involved, but, until recently, this was my predominant experience of comparison.
I also had the belief that healthy …
Compassionate Posting: Minimizing Social Media Comparisons
“We must each lead a way of life with self-awareness and compassion, to do as much as we can. Then, whatever happens we will have no regrets.” ~Dalai Lama
If you’re anything like me, you may have a love-hate relationship with social networking.
There are so many cool facets to social networking sites, such as Facebook, but I am finding that the relative ease of information sharing with the masses and portable nature of technology bring their own set of challenges. Not a bad thing, per-se, but perhaps an invitation to practice even greater mindfulness and compassion.
Consider the title
…5 Tips to Stop Making Comparisons and Feeling Bad About Yourself
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” ~Steve Furtick
I remember one day when I was around six years old, my older brother came home from school with one of those star-shaped highlighters that had a different color on each point. I laid my eyes on it and in that moment I wanted nothing more than I wanted that highlighter.
It didn’t matter that as a six year old, I had less use for it than paper shoes in rainy weather; I just simply had to have it.
Being the …
Stopping Comparisons: Reclaim Reality and Raise Your Self-Esteem
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel” ~Steve Furtick
Have you ever wondered when the turning point was? When did you start questioning yourself and believing you were missing something? When did you stop thinking of yourself as invincible and start noticing what others called “flaws”?
As a teenager and young adult, I struggled with severe depression and anxiety.
In my early twenties, I entered treatment for my eating disorder, a decision that proved to be life-changing in the most positive of ways.
During my second stint in treatment, I …
3 Steps to Stop Making Comparisons and Start Valuing Yourself
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ~E.E. Cummings
It seems like everywhere I look, I don’t measure up.
I was giving a presentation recently and noticed that several people seemed bored or distracted. I looked around the room to gauge my audience’s response to something I said and found myself thinking, “Am I good enough? Am I providing what this group needs?”
Suddenly, I felt sure that another, more talented presenter would have done a better job.
Later, with a friend, casually flipping through old photos, we both lamented that we were younger and …
5 Practical Tips for Overcoming the Pressure to Do More
“In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.” ~Deepak Chopra
There was a time in my life when chaos seemed to have the upper hand. I tried so hard to keep things together, but it felt like the more I tried to control things, the more they spiraled. I had goals and dreams, sure, but the stress of not being “there” yet always consumed me.
I remember one night sitting on the edge of my bed, feeling completely drained. I’d just had a tough conversation with a close friend, one of those exchanges where every word …
The Art of Being Flawed in a Perfectionist World
“Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection, we can catch excellence.” ~Vince Lombardi
Okay, let’s be real for a second. As I sit here trying to write this perfect essay about embracing imperfection, the irony isn’t lost on me. I’ve rewritten this opening paragraph about five times now. Old habits die hard, right?
Picture this: It’s 2:37 p.m. on a Wednesday afternoon. I’m pacing the lecture hall, watching my law students furiously scribbling away at their exam papers. Their furrowed brows and white-knuckle grips on their pens remind me of, well, me, not too long ago.
Flashback to …
The Breakthrough That Helped Me Stop Comparing Myself to Others
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” ~Theodore Roosevelt
In March 2020, the UK went into its first Covid lockdown, and the country was swept with anxiety and sadness. When would we see our loved ones again? Would our health be okay? Was my job safe? And more pressingly, how the heck was I expected to teach my kids?
Along with everyone else, I first received the news with a sense of impending doom and tried to make the best of a bizarre situation. “Normal life” consisted of stressful home schooling, online working, mask wearing, and (in the UK at least) …
6 Mindset Shifts to Overcome the Need for External Validation
“Relying on external validation to understand your worth is not sustainable. If you depend on people to build you up, you also give them the same power to break you down. You are worthy regardless of their opinion.” ~Unknown
In my heart of hearts, I knew I wasn’t supposed to rely on others for validation. Yet, for the longest time, I found myself seeking external approval to define my worth.
I was constantly seeking reassurance from friends, family, and even strangers. Their validation became the measure of my self-esteem, leaving me trapped in a cycle of doubt and insecurity.…
8 Compelling Reasons to Adopt a Whole Food Diet
“The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison.” ~Ann Wigmore
Why aren’t we taught optimal nutrition in school as adolescents?
I remember briefly learning about the food pyramid, which doesn’t even include water, by the way.
Do you want to know what I vividly remember? Growing up during the peak of diet culture, when models and actresses who were unrealistically skinny were the only ones who were considered pretty or good enough.
My dad died from a heart attack at age forty, and my single mother …
Why You Don’t Need Many Friends to Be Happy
“Introversion—along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness—is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology.” ~Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking
I’ll be honest, I don’t have many friends.
And it’s something I’ve always felt a level of shame about.
In fact, I recognize it’s a self-limiting belief I’ve been carrying around since secondary school: I don’t make friends easily or have a big circle; therefore, I’m unworthy or there’s something wrong with me.
That’s not to say I’ve never had friends. I’ve had friends from childhood …
19 Things to Start Doing for Yourself in the New Year
“And suddenly you know… it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of new beginnings.” ~Meister Eckhart
Did you know that 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail?
That’s pretty crazy. Maybe you’re part of that statistic. Feeling eager, excited, and ready for change only to fall back into old patterns after a few weeks.
This was me, year after year—striving for change but not managing to pull it through, but not last year.
A few days ago I found a letter I had written to myself on New Year’s Eve in 2016, describing how I wanted 2017 to …
10 Reasons and Helpful Tips to Make It a Dry December
“The very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself.” ~Wallace Wattles
In all my years of drinking, I never thought I’d hear myself suggesting a Dry December. Nor could I have predicted that the month I’d eventually decide to embrace my sober curiosity would be the holiday month.
Before I decided to give an alcohol-free lifestyle a chance, I had completed many Dry Januarys, occasional Sober Octobers, and even one Dry July. (Dry July was the hardest for me because I really felt like I was alone in trying to …
Always Exhausted? Native Wisdom to Restore Your Energy
TRIGGER WARNING: This post references sexual assault and may be triggering to some people.
“Spirit carved by Nature
Here I am.
Slowly ascending
toward my own profundity.”
~Elicura Chihuailaf
That exhaustion you feel when your body is fighting something, the feeling of being completely drained to the point where you can barely move your body…. that’s how I felt when I was living with trauma.
Over the years it had piled up inside of me—the sexual assault I survived one night after I’d just turned twenty, the physical and emotional abuse that went on almost daily when I lived with …
Copy of Books & Things
2024 CALENDAR
Tiny Buddha 2024 Day-to-Day Calendar
Stay inspired, motivated & encouraged with a year of uplifting quotes on happiness, relationships, change, self-care, and more. Includes tear-off pages, day/date reference on each page, and combined weekend pages. Features an easel backer for desk or tabletop display. Printed on FSC-certified paper with soy-based ink.GEAR
Every design is available in: tee, organic tee, hoodie, and sweatshirt, with multiple colors and sizes.
Why True Happiness Is Not Just About Reaching Your Goals
“Success isn’t about how your life looks to others. It’s about how it feels to you.” ~Michelle Obama
Do you have goals? Why do you have these goals? What will change if you accomplish them?
Will you be happy?
Think about this for a second: You’ve already achieved goals that you said would make you happy.
Pause.
Think about that again.
You’ve already achieved goals that you said would make you happy.
Well, that’s a humbling reality check, isn’t it? So why aren’t you experiencing everlasting happiness and satisfaction?
No matter the goal’s size, the reward level, or the …
How I’m Learning to Feel Confident Without Approval
“Children need to feel seen. Adults do, too.” ~Unknown
As a teenager, I played the flute for about nine years. I never practiced—apart from that guilt-ridden last half hour prior to my weekly lessons. It was important for my parents that their children learned a musical instrument, and so I was given the flute, while my brother played the clarinet (bizarrely, because our grandmother had wanted someone to play Mozart’s clarinet concerto at her funeral).
Truth be told, I think my brother would have much rather learned the guitar, while I was very envious of his clarinet (he got around …
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