“Love does not obey our expectations; it obeys our intentions.” ~Lloyd Strom
Recently, I did something radical; I entered into a relationship with the intention of extending love. I consciously set the goal of peace.
It’s with the intention to experience more peace than ever before that the relationship began, and it’s with that same intention that we decided to end the relationship.… Read More
“Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Ah, closure. That feeling of vindication, or a sense of completion—it can be very enticing!
There are times when seeking resolution is really important. If we are having an argument with our partner, settling it can help strengthen our relationship.… Read More
“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” ~Winston Churchill
It was a beautiful winter’s day in Sydney. Having returned home after working for two years in Singapore and traveling through Asia, I felt like I owed it to myself to do something I loved.… Read More
“The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.” ~Oscar Wilde
It’s the small, everyday things that can make or break a day for us.
While we celebrate the role models who inspire thousands (in person or on Facebook!), for most of us everyday moments—a stranger jostling us in the shops, a car cutting us up at a light, someone pushing in front of us in line at the post office—can upset us out of all proportion.… Read More
“Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” ~Alan Watts
In another life, not too long ago, I was an actress.
I “fell” into acting when a catalogue showed up on my doorstep for UCLA Extension summer classes, and in my boredom I started flipping through it to see what was on offer.… Read More
“Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi
My grandmother is nearing the end. She’s had a good life, a family, a loving husband, dancing and singing, growing things, running a business.
There are some skeletons in the closet though; her early life had some very heavy experiences that made her afraid and may have held her back.… Read More
“Fear, uncertainty, and discomfort are your compasses towards growth.” ~Celestine Chua
Settling feels awful. Take it from me—for the past few months I’ve been holding the Scepter of Settling in both my personal life and my business.
And it hasn’t felt good.
The other morning, as I sat waiting in LaGuardia Airport to board a plane for a three-day intensive business retreat in North Carolina, I had this sudden, radical a-ha!… Read More
“We can’t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.” ~Lori Deschene
Sometimes I am really terrible to myself and relentlessly compare myself to other people, no matter how many times I read or hear about how good enough or lovable I am.
On an almost daily basis, I meticulously look for evidence that I am a nobody, that I don’t deserve to be loved, or that I’m not living up to my full potential.… Read More
“Better than a thousand hollow words is one word that brings peace.” ~Buddha
I used to be the queen of putting my foot in my mouth. I’d say the first thing that came into my head without thinking.
My intentions were always good and I’d never deliberately offend or hurt anyone, but it landed me in trouble more than once.… Read More
“If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” ~Buddha
I once attended a lecture given by a world-renowned expert on post-traumatic stress disorder. The lecture made two points that I have never forgotten. I call them “brain tricks.”
1. Given a choice, our primitive brain will naturally select for the negative.… Read More
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha
For a long time I joked that if I had a time machine, I would go back to 1989 and give my sixteen-year-old self a swift butt kicking. But then a few months ago, on my fortieth birthday, a friend posted a picture of me at sixteen on Facebook.… Read More
“Every sweet has its sour; every evil its good.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
There were monsters in my closet—or so my five-year-old self believed. As soon as my mother kissed me goodnight and flipped the lights off, they would appear.
See, in my room, the sliding closet doors were kept open, and on the top three shelves, monsters would magically appear in the darkness.… Read More
“Once you have learned to love, you will have learned to live.” ~Unknown
Ever since I was a young girl, relationships have fascinated me, particularly romantic ones. I had beautiful fantasies of my perfect partner appearing and completing me. We would fall in love and live happily ever after.
As a child, I believed that being in a romantic relationship, and especially being married, meant lasting happiness.… Read More
“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~C. S. Lewis
Another year over and you’re still troubled by a relationship that ended last year or in years past. The whole thing is dragging on too long—why can’t you just get over it?… Read More
“When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~Viktor Frankl
In the spring of 2008 when my son was only seven months old, I received a text message from his stay-at-home dad while I was at work. The text read, “He’s in the crib.” I did not respond because those five words said everything I needed to know.… Read More
“If you can’t change the circumstances, change your perspective.” ~Unknown
Sometimes it feels as if you are completely in control of your life, but when it comes to relationships there is always the other person.
In a relationship, you cannot be the puppeteer. People have their own emotions, behaviors, actions, beliefs, scars, wounds, fears, dreams, and perspectives.… Read More
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~Dalai Lama
I had an old trench coat that was balled up on the floor of my garage, gathering dust near the washing machine. It was raining. It was unusually cold (for California, anyway).… Read More
“The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Recently a friend asked me what kind of legacy I want to leave for future generations. It was an unexpected question that really got my wheels turning.
Usually when people pass away there is a huge focus on the things they owned and who gets what, and the idea of handing down ideas and values was a totally new way to look at it.… Read More
“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brené Brown
I believe that it is part of the human condition to want love and connection with others. For some of us this comes much more naturally and abundantly than it does for others.
The universal thing we all share is that at some point along our life journey, there will come a time when our self-worth is on the table for questioning.… Read More
“In the midst of winter I discovered that there was in me an invincible summer.” ~Albert Camus
These words may ring true for anyone who has been through difficult times, then found themselves stronger as a person, or doing things they would have never thought possible.
In May 2011 my brother was kidnapped from his home while working in Nigeria.… Read More