You Can’t Save Someone Who Won’t Participate in Their Own Rescue
7 Things You Need to Know If You’re Going Through a Painful Breakup
Last year my uncle died shortly after someone I love went through a pretty traumatic breakup. I love all my family, but I wasn’t really close to my uncle and didn’t know him all that well, so I was more grieving for my mother and aunt than myself.
As I bore witness to the deep pain around me, I started thinking about the expectations we often hold of people when grieving a breakup, as opposed to grieving a death. We often expect them to feel sad for a while and then just get over it. Because the person didn’t die, …
How to Motivate Yourself with Kindness Instead of Criticism
“I don’t always make the best choices, but today I choose compassion over intolerance, sympathy over hatred, and love over fear.” ~LJ Vanier
It’s crazy to me now, to look back and realize how freaking hard I was on myself for decades.
Had I ever talked to anyone else the way I talked to myself, it would surely have left me friendless and jobless, and I definitely would have been kicked out of school.
Basically, I was a bully. Just to myself.
If I said something awkward, I called myself an idiot.
When I couldn’t find the motivation to …
What to Do If You’re Single and Feel Like You’re Missing Out
“Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love…but don’t put your life on hold waiting for love.” ~Mandy Hale
Going to weddings alone, with no plus-one to take along with you. Watching the couples dance, thinking, “Will there ever come a time when that is me on the dance floor?” Going on holidays alone, with no partner to share memories with. Listening to stories of friends’ weekends away, as a reminder of just how solitary your own weekends are. If you are anything like me, you might recognize these signs of single life.
“Will my situation …
My Secret to Overcoming the Painful Trap of Perfectionism
“A meaningful life is not being rich, being popular, or being perfect. It’s about being real, being humble, being able to share ourselves and touch the lives of others.” ~Unknown
Hello, I’m Kortney, and I’m a recovering perfectionist.
Like so many of us, I spent the greater part of my life believing that unless something was perfect, it wasn’t good at all. There was really no in-between. If it wasn’t perfect, it was a failure.
One of the problems with perfectionism is that it’s common to believe it’s a positive thing. In our society, people tend to value it. If …
Easing Anxiety: How Painting Helps Me Stop Worrying
“Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.” ~Kahlil Gibran
Anxiety has followed me around like a lost dog looking for a bone for years now.
I feel it the most acutely when I’m worried about my health or my daughter’s health. I notice a strange rash or feel an unusual sensation and all of a sudden: panic!
My worries are not limited to health concerns though, and my ruminations go in the direction of dread about the future of the world, worries about my finances, and fears that I’m not good …
The Magic of Rewriting Our Most Painful Stories
“When you bring peace to your past, you can move forward to your future.” ~Unknown
It amazes me how things that happen in our childhood can greatly impact our adult lives. I learned the hard way that I was living my life with a deep wound in my heart.
My father was a very strict man with a temper when I was little, starting when I was around seven years old.
He had a way of making me feel like all my efforts were not enough. If I scored an 8 in a math exam, he would say, “Why 8 …
How to Stop Procrastinating When Things Feel Hard or Scary
“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~Louise L. Hay
I dreamed of starting my own business for years. Ten years, exactly.
While there are a few reasons it took so long to take the plunge, procrastination is at the top of the list.
It’s hard work to change careers, uncomfortable to leave a steady paycheck, and nerve-wracking to think of failure.
Even after spending months and years learning, studying, and getting certified, when it was no longer a matter of having the skills, the uncertainty of success …
Congruent Depression: What It Is and How to Overcome It
“Not all of the depression that people experience is an illness… Unlike clinical depression, congruent depression is actually appropriate to your situation.” ~Dr. K
Every day is the same. Every day I’m stiff. Every day I’m tired. These are the two main things that people with fibromyalgia deal with. It’s been like that for a couple of years now. Six to be exact.
I’ve faced so much hardship all at one time: no job, no income, no friends, dealing with an emotionally immature/narcissistic mother, and not living where I want to live. All of this is making me sleep poorly.…
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