Put Some Gratitude into Your Attitude
Don’t Try to Become the Best, Be Your Best Right Now
“Do the best you can, from where you are, with what you have, now.” ~African-American proverb
When I first started on my spiritual path, I desperately wanted to live in a more connected and satisfying way. I had a secret longing to know who I truly was and to finally reach my creative potential—not only as a writer, but also as a person. My intention was to express mastery through spirituality.
At the time, this made perfect sense. Spirituality, for me, was connecting to the creative part of myself—that invisible, powerful place where anything is possible.
A …
When You Don’t Know What You Want Anymore
“We learn more by looking for the answer to a question and not finding it than we do from learning the answer itself.” ~Lloyd Alexander
There was a time when I looked at the world without hope. My future felt dark because I didn’t know what I wanted to do.
I felt like I was a random player in a chaotic game. I didn’t like it, and I didn’t like life.
Luckily, I stumbled onto resources, ideas, and practices that helped me reconnect to my wisdom, my heart, and my interests.
I applied what I learned, and clarity emerged.…
Why Conflict Isn’t Bad (And How to Make It Easier)
“Conflict is inevitable but combat is optional.” ~Max Lucade
I used to do everything I could to avoid having conversations that could potentially be challenging or difficult—even resorting to lying or obfuscation if I really felt backed into a corner.
I didn’t have a good template for what healthy conflict looked like, so every challenging conversation felt like a minefield where I could be attacked, blamed, or shamed at any moment.
As I got older, and especially as I started dating and getting involved in longer-term relationships, I realized that conflict was actually an inevitable, even necessary, part of co-existing …
Why People Reject Us and What We Can Do About It
“When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~Viktor Frankl
There’s probably no worse feeling in life than the feeling of being rejected. Whether it’s from the opposite sex, a friend or family member, or co-workers, the feeling that our presence is not wanted or no longer welcomed can cause us to feel hurt and become defensive.
I’ve learned a couple of ways of dealing with rejection when it arises in various situations, and for taking the sting out of it.
The first thing to realize is that rejection isn’t personal. Not really, anyway. …
Creating Lasting Happiness and Filling the Void Within
“Happiness is not a goal. It’s a by-product of a life well lived.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
I don’t care what you do or what you become as long as you’re happy. Just be happy.
This has been my mother’s well-intentioned maxim throughout my life. As much as it is an example of her unconditional love, it is also a pretty massive request if you think about it, and something I could not seem to be. Ultimately, I failed because I wasn’t happy.
If she’d wanted me to be a brain surgeon, I could have given it a shot. I’d have known …
Can We Auto-Correct Humanity?
Such an important message. From the YouTube page: You need not delete your social networks or destroy your cell phones. The message is simple: be balanced, be mindful, be present, be here. 🙂
How to Set Strong Boundaries and Overcome The Need to Say “Yes”
“We must never forget that it is through our actions, words, and thoughts that we have a choice.” ~Sogyal Rinpoche
Just a few short years ago, I would have relished in being called a “yes person.”
I loved that label. I thought it made me approachable, helpful, and charitable, and I loved being “top of mind” for so many people and wonderful opportunities.
Big project at work? I was there. A shoulder to cry on? You bet. A shopping buddy? Sure, I’m available! An exercise partner, a counselor, an interior designer, a cook, a cleaner, a proofreader, a tour guide—I …
6 Surprising Tips for Overcoming Exhaustion
“We are so used to working that not working is the new hard work.” ~Mokokoma Mokhonoana
You know that feeling just as something bad is happening that you can’t control, when your stomach does a backflip, lurches up into your throat, and then drops into your toes?
I experienced it one day snapping back to full consciousness as my car glided off the left shoulder of the freeway and spun in a full 360-degree circle on the gravel.
I’d logged a very busy week at work, been to a music group practice, done some freelance editing, and gone for …
How to Get Your Joy and Vitality Back When You’ve Been Depressed
“When everything seem to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” ~Henry Ford
We all have this image of how depression looks. It’s a person looking all sullen and grim. Rain is usually involved. It’s dark. It’s cloudy. It’s depressing.
But what about the sunny depression, the one that almost never shows its face in public, the one that looks just… normal.
I’m a naturally happy person. I wake up smiling. I go to bed smiling. I even smile in my sleep, or so I’ve been told. Yet I’ve been depressed, …
Letting Go of Expectations and Letting Joy Find You
“The best things in life are unexpected, because there were no expectations.” ~Eli Khamarov
Are there situations in your life where letting go of a desired outcome could potentially improve the outcome?
I’d been invited to the Stern Grove festival, the free summer concert series, to see Andrew Bird. A friend of mine texted me the night before, letting me know he was setting up a picnic for it.
I was feeling agitated that evening after spending more than I’d wanted to at a birthday dinner (which I was happy to attend, notwithstanding), and I anticipated wanting to recharge …
Unbecoming Who You Are and Embracing Your True Self
“View your life with kindsight. Stop beating yourself up about things from your past. Instead of slapping your forehead and asking, ‘What was I thinking,’ breathe and ask yourself the kinder question, ‘What was I learning?’” ~Karen Salmonsohn
I’ve never been particularly risk adverse.
If you asked my friends or family, they’d tell you I’d be the first person to try something new and challenging. I did things in my twenties with very little thought about the consequences and dove headlong into many situations without batting an eyelid.
Except, I was avoiding one thing and that was the real me. …
5 Tips to Create a Loving Relationship, With Fewer Disappointments
“Love does not obey our expectations; it obeys our intentions.” ~Lloyd Strom
Have you ever felt less about a relationship when it didn’t exactly pan out like a fairy tale? I sure did.
I had it stuck in my mind that a great relationship should be picture perfect.
When reality would give me a sobering slap showing it was far from perfect, I would walk away from a relationship that refused to meet my standards.
I thought that a relationship is like a flower in a pot, ever blooming by itself. No hard work whatsoever. But the “flower” also has …
Healing from Heartbreak and Loving Life, No Matter Your “Status”
“Getting over a past relationship is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point to move forward.” ~C.S. Lewis
I recently stumbled into a clothing store where everything was full of life and color, until I saw the sales clerk.
She had obviously been crying. I perused the merchandise and hesitatingly asked her a question about an item. Tears welled up in her eyes and she said, “I’m sorry, I’m so overwhelmed. My boyfriend just broke up with me.”
I wasn’t prepared for that answer, but as I looked at her more closely I saw …
Finding Beauty in Unexpected Places: A Video from Soul Pancake
Soul Pancake handed out a bunch of frames to people on the street and asked them to find beauty in the world around them. As one very wise participant shared, “I think that if we took some time, if we looked up, we looked down, we looked at each other, we would find that there is beauty everywhere around us.”
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.