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How Life Becomes More Beautiful When We Stop Anticipating the Worst

“Few of us ever live in the present. We are forever anticipating what is to come or remembering what has gone.” ~Louis L’Amour

These days I live in the city, but I spent my childhood in a rural English village. It was quaint and quiet and rather lovely—the sort of place you’re desperate to leave when you’re young and full of fire, but begin to hanker for when you get a little older.

Back then, to get to the local school, I had to walk down a long, winding country lane, which had rolling fields on both sides. For half …

How to Stop Taking Things for Granted and Feel Blessed

“I count my blessings every day, quite honestly, because I take nothing for granted.” ~Mario Andretti

You know that feeling.

When you feel bad about yourself for not being grateful enough. Maybe not often, but surely sometimes.

You are busy working hard, trying to make things work. Busy at life.

But then you see a nine-year-old painting a picture holding a brush with his toes. He has no hands.

And it hits you: You’re so busy trying to make your life better, you forget that it is already beautiful. You feel guilty for not being happy enough.

How I

Natural Beauty Is Accepting Yourself, Just as You Are

“When you are balanced and when you listen and attend to the needs of your body, mind, and spirit, your natural beauty comes out.” ~Christy Turlington

It wasn’t until I stopped wearing makeup that I realized the hypocrisy in every “natural beauty” ad. Be natural, wear a mask, they say. Unleash your confidence by hiding your flaws, they say.

If only it were so simple.

My struggle with body image began at age five. That was the first time I threw up to make myself feel thin.

I began to heal four years ago after I almost killed myself. All …

Loving Yourself When You’re Too Fat, Too Skinny, Too Tall, or Too Short

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Living in NYC, I have seen some crazy and outrageous things. So, I shouldn’t have been surprised to see an ad in the subway that read, “Overcome Your Bikini Fears. Breast Augmentation Made In NY: $3,900,” or another ad from the same plastic surgery office that showed a picture of a woman looking sad, holding a pair of small tangerines in front of her breasts, and the same woman looking happy holding grapefruits, with the same caption, “Breast Augmentation Made in NY: $3,900.”

Still, I …

How to Connect with Others and Feel Less Alone in the World

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it doesn’t feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive.” ~Brené Brown

There is very little in life (if anything) more important than our relationships. How connected we feel to others is a strong predictor of our happiness and our feelings of self-worth.

From a neurobiological standpoint, we are wired for connection. Our deeply connected relationships can ultimately give us true meaning and purpose.

But, if we’re feeling disconnected, alone, and segregated from those around us, how can we become more connected? Why does it …

Now Is the Time to Do the Things That Make You Happy

“The trouble is you think you have time.” ~Buddha

When I first read this quote after graduating from college, I fell headfirst into a tailspin of “do it now, do it now, do it now.”

I had to travel the world, while doing yoga, and learning Spanish, and hiking the PCT, and living in different cities, and building my resume, and reading every book ever written.

With every check I put next to an item on my bucket list, I found ten new things that pulled me different directions. I tried to do it all and ironically, felt like …

How to Feel Close and Connected in Your Relationship Again

“Intimacy is not purely physical, It’s the act of connecting with someone so deeply, you feel like you see into their soul.” ~Unknown

When we’re feeling disconnected and unfulfilled in our relationships, we often believe that we need something more from the other person.

We think that in order for us to be happy, the other person needs to be or do something different. While it may be true that sometimes there are some changes we need to make, oftentimes being happy and getting what we desire has more to do with our own awareness. 

The problem is that …

Moving from Heartbreak to Happiness: How to Work Through the Pain

“Pain makes you stronger. Fear makes you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser.” ~Unknown

There I was, sitting in my lounge room, waiting for my girlfriend to return home.

We had just bought our first house together and had been living there for a week. It was a chaotic time, balancing moving, work, study commitments, and an obscene amount of renovations. However, the heartfelt joy of settling into our own place overshadowed the chaos.

Our new home held the dreams of a future life together. The thought of raising a family there filled my heart to the brim.

It was an …

The Technology of Joy: Tools for Happiness (Interview & Book Giveaway)

Update – The winners for this giveaway are:

  • D. Arturo Gutierrez
  • Preston Cox
  • Kathleen Han

If you’re anything like me, you may think that technology can be both a blessing and a curse.

Sometimes I lament that we now live in a world where tiny screens often hinder real-world engagement, and social media can create pressure to entertain an audience our peers by sensationalizing our everyday lives.

But then I remember that technology is just a tool, and its affects depend on how we use it. Sure, technology can create distance and exacerbate the struggle to be authentic, but it …

Stop Pushing Yourself So Hard: 8 Ways to De-Stress Your Mind and Body

“Self-care is not selfish or self-indulgent. We cannot nurture others from a dry well. We need to take care of our own needs first, and then we can give from our surplus, our abundance.” ~Jennifer Louden

I have always been really driven. I readily admit that I am an overachiever, and I have the capacity to burn the candle at both ends.

Following my dreams and creating what I imagine is my destiny takes work, real work, so I can easily spend way too many hours a day striving to bring my visions into reality.

I am hardwired to push …

Switching Paths: You Can Live an Exciting, Fulfilling Life

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” ~Neale Donald Walsch 

Lights out. Eyes closed. We biked through an imaginary trail. Our guide shouted the magic word, “switch,” and we knew it was time. We began using our minds to visualize where we wanted to be.

I imagined biking down my favorite street in a city abroad.

I enjoyed feeling the bumpy ride on the uneven pavement, looking at the clothes line-drying from beautiful ancient buildings, smelling delicious aromas from local cafés, and listening to the different languages that people were speaking around me.

My heart felt full. I …

How to Deal When You’re Overwhelmed: 5 Ways to Turn Stress into Joy

“When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways—either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength.” ~Dalai Lama

You’re overwhelmed and stressed by all the things that need to be done. All your best-laid plans for becoming a better version of yourself are feeling very tenuous at the moment.

You still want to be healthier, more present in your relationships, and able to appreciate and express gratitude for all the things you have instead of worrying about the things you don’t. But, you are strongly …

4 Things You Need to Hear When You’re Emotionally Exhausted

Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.” ~John De Paola

You’re on the verge of burnout.

You’re unmotivated to perform even the simplest of tasks. You’re physically and emotionally isolated. Slight annoyances cause you to snap.

You may be blaming your work, other people, or circumstances. But if you dig a little deeper, you may be surprised to learn that your own choices have led to emotional exhaustion. This is good news because it means that you can alleviate your own pain without the permission or blessing of another person.

In my junior …

How to Change Your Life Without Doing Anything Big or Scary

“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” ~Jim Rohn

We’re human.

Every single one of us participates in behavior that we know has a negative or adverse effect on our well-being.

We also know that at some point we are going to have to stop these negative behaviors, because ultimately, they create bigger problems for us. However, most of us choose to wait until something breaks before we decide to take any action toward fixing a problem.

I waited to change my diet.

I waited until things got really bad and I was forced

How to Let Go of Resentment and Forgive Your Ex

I used to be afraid of the pain letting go of the past would cause, until I realized how much pain holding on has caused.” ~Steve Maraboli

Getting over the pain of a bad relationship is never easy.

Even when I finally felt more in control of my feelings, the pain from my past would still spill over into my present.

I would constantly compare my new partner to my ex who had torn my heart apart. Even though I had moved on from that relationship, I was too afraid to fully trust my new partner for …

Healing a Broken Heart: It Will Get Better

“This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert

I thought I went through my last breakup a few years ago. I thought I had paid my dues, cried my share of tears, and dealt with some deep wounds. I thought I was done. I was happy and in love, and talking about moving in with my boyfriend.

One day we took a little vacation. We laughed and explored the desert excitedly talking about our dreams. Three days later I found myself sobbing on the floor of my tub, …

When Something Has to Change: How to Push Yourself to Take Action

“The truth you believe in and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new.” ~Pema Chodron

At some point, there comes a defining moment when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you just can’t keep living the way you’ve been living.

You know that something has got to give and realize that you only have two options—either change or stay the same.

The idea of having to choose either one of those options feels absolutely unbearable, so you find yourself trapped between the two, in this awful purgatory of indecision.

That’s exactly where I was trapped: …

How to Feel Your Feelings and What That Will Do for Your Life (Everything!)

“You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” ~JK Rowling

Sometimes the last thing we want to do is feel our feelings. Because feeling can hurt.

Feeling can make you cry in the laundromat.

Feeling can make your face unattractively red in the frozen food aisle.

Feeling can make you think this whole being human racket is not the best way to spend your time.

If you’ve been stuffing your feelings back into your rib cage whenever they try to break for the light, this is especially true. I know, …

Clear Your Emotional Clutter and Open Up to Joy (Interview and Giveaway)

UPDATE – The winners for this giveaway are:

  • C
  • Lori Pacheco

When I was in my early twenties, I spent three months in a residential treatment center in a last-ditch effort to heal from depression and bulimia. Among many different treatment modalities, I participated in an experiential therapy that involved a ropes course and other adventure activities.

One day, along with a dozen other frail women, I strapped a backpack full of tennis balls on my back and climbed to the top of a rock wall. It was hard enough to walk on some days; getting to the top with …

How to Beat Anxiety So You Can Live Life to the Fullest

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” ~Jack Canfield

When I was in my twenties, I was confident and fearless, and I lived life to the fullest.

I remember going on vacation, and one of my friends was terrified to get on the plane. We had a four-hour flight ahead of us, and I thought her anxiety and fear of flying were ridiculous.

I thought she was being pathetic and selfish, and spoiling it for everyone else. I remember having a ‘quiet word’ with her and berating her for talking absolute nonsense. I had no empathy or …