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We Are All People Who Need People

By in Blog, love & relationships

“But first be a person who needs people. People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.” ~Bob Merrill, lyricist, Barbra Streisand, artist

Act 1: Babs and Me

Barbra Streisand and I could be twins.

For starters, we were born on the same day.

Sure, she got here a couple of decades earlier, but except the part where she’s a rich, famous, writer-director-actress married to James Brolin, and oh, that singing thing, we could have been separated at birth.

We both have blue eyes and chemically enhanced blonde hair. We speak the same language; in Brooklyn or Philly, …

When the People We Love No Longer Exist

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go, love & relationships

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.” ~Steve Jobs

A week ago a woman I loved died. She was a member of my family and had been dying for a while from bone cancer, so her death did not come as a surprise.

I was traveling when I got the email, and I sat in Abu Dhabi airport surrounded by the banging and steps of people and grieved.

Yes, I knew her death was imminent, but at a deeper level I found the news …

Learning to Let Go and Trusting That We Will Be Okay

By in Blog, letting go

“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” ~Steve Maraboli

While going through some major life changes, I am finally learning to let go. I am learning to relinquish control. And I am learning that everything will be okay in the end.

I am in the middle of my first pregnancy. I thought I could control my body. I thought I could control my outcome.

Something I regularly preach to anyone who will listen is that we can’t control the outcome of any situation. We can only control our actions.

That means …

Keeping Your Eyes on the Prize When Your Goal Seems Far Off

By in Blog, meaning & passion, work fulfillment

“Doing your best means never stop trying.” ~Unknown

As a teacher, the summer season is special, sacred time when I recover from a busy school year and prepare for the next one. The bonus is that I also use the time as a personal blank slate to be as productive as I can be in the other areas of my life that got neglected when all of my energy went into teaching.

June began with a long list of goals and a meticulously planned schedule for every day and hour of the week. I had big eyes and high hopes …

How a Major Crisis Can Sometimes Be a Blessing in Disguise

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Pain can change you, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a bad change. Take that pain and turn it into wisdom.” ~Unknown

Ten years ago my life changed in a dramatic way. What I experienced in 2004 seemed like a major disaster at first, but it turns out that sometimes what seems like the worst life experience can actually be one of our biggest blessings.

In 2004, I was in graduate school, working toward a PhD in history. When I graduated from college in 2001, I wanted to be a professor. Well, that’s what I thought I wanted, …

8 Draining Habits to Let Go if You Want to Be Happy

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“We first make our habits, then our habits make us.” ~John Dryden

This may look good, sound good, and maybe even feel good at first, but it’s not serving you well in the end!

I’d hear this thought in my head over and over and still not believe it. But it had persisted ever since I started questioning the status quo in my life. And I don’t mean a loud, in-your-face, obnoxious line of questioning, but rather, a gentle curious whisper that asks: Well, why does it have to be this way, if I may ask?

Questioning the status quo …

How to Stop Fearing the Worst and Worrying About “What Ifs”

By in Blog, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths.” ~Charles H. Spurgeon

There’s nothing like a real health emergency for putting insignificant worries into perspective.

By the time I was pregnant the second time, I had left my struggles with anxiety largely behind me. Having been to therapy years earlier to find coping mechanisms for managing my ever-present phobias, I was in a fairly good place when I learned I’d been given a second chance at having a child.

But worry is as much as part of me as breathing, and having lost …

7 Ways to Live a Less Fearful, More Peaceful Life

By in Blog, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when adults are afraid of the light.” ~Adapted from Plato

I was digging in my half-empty refrigerator one day, searching for leftovers, when my phone rang. I glared at it wondering who the hell had the nerve to interrupt my hunt for sustenance.

I grabbed the phone with pure agitation and put it to my ear. On the other end of the line I heard a faint voice mutter the three most unforgettable words I had ever heard: “Dad is gone.”

The …

How to Give Yourself and Others the Gift of Happiness

By in Blog, happiness & fun, love & relationships

“It is every man’s obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it.” ~Albert Einstein

My son recently returned home from college with a new demeanor.

He was helpful, considerate, interested in others, and genuinely happy. The change was a far cry from the boy who had left for college just a few short months before.

Don’t get me wrong, he has always been a good kid, but up until now he’s been a typical teenager. He was a bit messy, a bit lazy, and if it wasn’t part of his …

Releasing Expectations: It’s Okay to Be Right Where You Are

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“The most important point is to accept yourself and stand on your two feet.” ~Shunryu Suzuki

When I was younger, I am sure I was a little bit arrogant. I had high expectations for my life. They haven’t come to pass. I haven’t achieved whatever I thought I would achieve. It turns out that I’m an ordinary human being struggling with ordinary things.

Now that I’m in my forties, I have experienced disappointment, failure, and confusion. Many times I have lost sight of the path, and sometimes it’s felt like there never was one.

I expected I would be a …

How to KISS Your Way to A Less Stressful, Overwhelming Life

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Simplicity is about subtracting the obvious and adding the meaningful.” ~John Maeda

The past few months of my life were a myriad of things, to say the least: busy, chaotic, overwhelming, exhausting, frustrating, and stressful. I felt like my fuel tank was on zero, but I had to get up and do it all over again the next day.

I wasn’t stopping to take it all in and check in with myself to see how I was doing. It took catching up with a friend in town on a whirlwind trip to give me a big, smack-bang wake-up call. I …

Stop Keeping Score in Relationships and Start Taking Care of Each Other

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” ~Desmond Tutu

I was recently at the grocery store, and not once, but twice, I encountered couples practically duking it out in the aisles. I mean, full on snit-fits happening here. One pair was so mad, the woman actually walked in the opposite direction down the aisle, her five- or six-year-old in tow.

Totally productive, right?

The other pair was fighting because the husband couldn’t decide which milk to get. His wife was trying to hurry him up, and …

Tiny Buddha eBook and Others on Sale for 99 Cents

By in Blog, love & relationships

Hi friends! If you haven’t already read Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself, now may be the perfect time, as the eBook version has been included in a special Black Friday Weekend Holiday Sale.

From today until Monday December 1st, you can get the digital version of my book and over twenty others for just 99 cents each at blackfridaybooksale.com.

About Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself

Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself is a collaborative book featuring a collection of stories from Tiny Buddha contributors, along with tips to help you feel good about …

A Simple 5-Minute Habit That Can Make You Happier

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Gratitude creates joy—not vice versa.” ~Dr. Brené Brown

To be blunt, my summer of 2013 sucked. In a matter of months, a tidal wave of stressful events happened and it completely shattered my sense of safety. I was on the verge of a serious depression.

The summer began with a broken heart. The love of my life, the man I planned to marry, broke up with me and admitted he had wanted to leave for the past year.

In a matter of minutes, my dreams of starting a family and living happily ever after were crushed. It caught me so …

3 Things You Can Start Doing Today to Improve Your Life

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“The grass is always greener where you water it.” ~Unknown

Have you noticed that when we’re unhappy we often spend our time focusing on those very things that are making us unhappy?

My life has had its ups and downs, like anyone, but one of the lowest lows was back when I had a graduate job at a big four accounting firm.

I was completely stuck in a rut: I’d drag myself out of bed in the morning, commute to work, spend the day in an office full of people I didn’t like, doing work I found mind-numbingly boring …

Giving the Benefit of the Doubt to Rude or Annoying People

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.” ~Henry James

Some lessons you learn once, and they last a lifetime.

I loved to bake as a child, and one day I put a bowl of batter in the microwave with the metal whisk I was using to stir it. A minute later, I pulled the bowl out of the microwave and grabbed the hot metal whisk with my bare hand.

When I think about it, I can still feel the burn from …

8 Secrets To Developing Confidence (So Self-Doubt Never Sabotages You Again)

By in Blog, change & challenges

“What you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you.” ~Seneca

I can still remember it like it happened yesterday.

There I was. Ten years old. It was my first day back at school.

I walked past the enormous church that marked the entrance of the school compound. I passed under this huge tree as it towered over me. I was in a crowd of other screaming school kids. They laughed and cackled loudly.

Me?

I just felt overwhelmed.

See, I was always an anxious kid. Scared. Worried that I hadn’t done my homework properly. …

Letting Go of Guilt About What You “Should” Be Doing

By in Blog, letting go

“Beware the bareness of a busy life.” ~Socrates

It was December 26th. The day after Christmas. Ten days after my daughter’s first birthday. I was sitting on the floor coiling Christmas lights when I began to try to stand up. Almost immediately, I sunk back down to the floor.

I was tired. I was physically tired. I was emotionally tired. Even my soul felt tired.

In that moment, I couldn’t help but wonder, how did I get here? Sitting on the family room floor after two beautiful family events—my daughter’s birthday and Christmas—and my bones, heart, and soul …

5 Childhood Mantras That Are Poisoning Your Happiness

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“So, like a forgotten fire, a childhood can always flare up again within us.” ~Gaston Bachelard

I woke up to the sun peeking through the bedroom curtains and I cautiously opened one eye to check if my little brother was still asleep on the other side of our room.

I was excited about the day. The sun was shining and we were meeting up with some family friends for a picnic in the park later that day. All I cared about was we would be having lots of treats at that picnic and the park we were going to had …

When Waiting Gives You Anxiety: How to Find Peace in the Present

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“The time is now, the place is here. Stay in the present. You can do nothing to change the past, and the future will never come exactly as you plan or hope for.” ~Dan Millman

Nothing gives me anxiety quite like waiting for things to happen. If I don’t know how long I will be in line, stuck on a delayed NYC subway, or behind someone at the grocery store who is paying in pennies, I get very anxious. Or at least I used to.

Going to the doctor’s office was the worst. I know that no one likes …