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3 Tips to Help You Stop Saying Things You Regret

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” ~Buddha

I initially saw this quote and, in true ego-first fashion, thought of my kids: this’ll be perfect for them. I’ll put it up in the kitchen as a regular reminder to stop pestering each other.

But then, something a bit deeper poked me gently. Riiight, just for the kids, is it? You’ve got this mastered, then. I guess my true self is not afraid to use sarcasm when it needs to.

My true self was right (as it always is). When …

What Helped Me Forgive Myself and Honor My Needs

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and realize that prisoner was you.” ~Lewis B. Smedes

Have you ever tried to forgive someone who hurt you, and despite your best efforts, it was just too hard? So you beat yourself up because you were not able to forgive, and the pain was still there?

I spent years trying to forgive others.

I tried to forgive a family member for abusing me as a child.

I tried to forgive my primary school teacher of seven years for constantly hammering that even though I was a straight-A student, I wasn’t …

Overcoming the Fear of Being Judged for Your Mistakes

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected, or disliked stop you from being yourself.” ~Sonya Parker

For years I struggled with a nagging feeling of guilt. This was not for actual things I did, but just a feeling that anytime something went wrong in my life, it was somehow my fault.

I came from a religious family of eleven kids. My dear mom, bless her heart, occasionally punished us all because she just didn’t have the time in her busy day to find the perpetrator.

My older brother, the perpetrator …

How to Know When It’s Time to Give Up

By in Blog, love & relationships, work fulfillment

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~Anna Quindlen

Growing up, I refused to go to bed until I fit the last piece of my jigsaw puzzle. That’s when I first understood that it could be difficult to give up, but I didn’t think my perseverance was a problem.

Soon after, however, I realized that blind persistence could turn into an exhausting and useless quest.

When something unjust happened to me or to someone I loved, I worked relentlessly to “make things right.” In many …

Moving On Isn’t Failure: 5 Lessons On Changing Paths

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“Letting go isn’t the end of the world. It’s the beginning of a new life.” ~Unknown

Ever since I was young, I have been intensely driven and very goal-focused. I have never been the type to flip-flop and I have never been the type to start something I do not intend to finish.

Recently, I was faced with the incredibly difficult decision to leave the career path I had committed myself to. In the process, I learned quite a lot about my definition of “failure” and what happens when we allow ourselves to move on.

About three months after …

51 Ways to Feel Happy in 5 Minutes

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” ~Buddha

For the longest time I lived in the future.

I had a grand list of all the big things I wanted to do…

Build a multinational company, become a philanthropist, go on long vacations all over the world with my wife, have a big house with a lovely garden…the list goes on!

It’s great to be ambitious, I still believe that.

However, the more I made plans and worked toward my ambitions, the more I reinforced a concept within …

A Message for Those Who Feel Lost and Are Looking for Answers

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

“Wherever you go, there you are.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

On June 24th I got in a cab at the corner of 72nd and Broadway headed to JFK, hauling two huge suitcases full of medications, bug spray, sunscreen, gluten-free foods, a bug tent (really), and cheap cotton clothing.

I checked in, made my way to the gate, and embarked on a twenty-four-hour flight to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam.

Months of confusion and identity crisis brought me here.

Almost a full year ago, after returning from performing with a national tour that ended up being a lot less fun than …

Letting Go and Enjoying Annoying Situations

By in Blog

“Never forget: This very moment, we can change our lives. There never was a moment, and never will be, when we are without the power to alter our destiny.” ~Steven Pressfield

This week I had the pleasure of waiting in a queue. Now, that is not normally something that I would be able to say, as I’m not the most patient woman.

The queue was for the immigration department in Chiang Mai, Thailand—a busy place full of people who were stressed because they were unsure about where to get a number for their place in the queue, unsure if they …

Being Grateful for the Ordinary: The Life We Have Is Enough

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“If we do not feel grateful for what we already have, what makes us think we’d be happy with more?” ~Unknown

From time to time during my schooling years I’d be asked to identify my role models. I always chose someone who’d changed the world in a big way—Martin Luther King Jnr, Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi.

I never looked within my own life for role models. I had lovely parents and great teachers, and still, I was always looking well beyond what was right in front of me. I was always striving for something more, out there, beyond my own …

You Are Not Your Thoughts and Feelings, and They Don’t Have to Bring You Down

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. ” ~Reinhold Niebuhr

Think about the future! Don’t do something you’ll regret! You need to plan for tomorrow! I wish I hadn’t done that! Will things ever work out? Why did they do that? Will I ever find happiness? Why has life made me the way I am? What’s wrong with me?

Around and around it went inside my mind, a never-ending internal conversation full of questions and uncertainties—the not knowing driving me insane …

How to Get Through Hard Times by Throwing Yourself into a Hobby

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Almost everything comes from nothing.” ~Henri F. Amiel

There are uncountable ways to deal with difficult times in life. Some people turn to prayer or meditation, others open their hearts in therapy or to friends, and many choose to hide from the pain by eating their weight in chocolate or purchasing expensive bags; to each their own. I have a different approach: crafting.

When I’ve gone through difficult times in life—depression, unemployment, relationship problems—I have often turned to craft projects. For a long time, I didn’t think much about it, but eventually I realized how much it has honestly …

Rekindle Your Joy by Harnessing the Power of Play

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“It is a happy talent to know how to play.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

It was one of those weeks that felt like I was dragging my feet through mud. Everything seemed like an effort and nothing seemed to be flowing.

I was caught up in conflicts from the past—a miscommunication with my boyfriend, which resulted in hurt feelings on both sides, and a professional crisis that plunged me into fear and self-doubt.

In an attempt to calm my mind and become more present, I meditated and chanted mantras, but the tape of negative self-talk continued to play in my head. …

We Are All People Who Need People

By in Blog, love & relationships

“But first be a person who needs people. People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.” ~Bob Merrill, lyricist, Barbra Streisand, artist

Act 1: Babs and Me

Barbra Streisand and I could be twins.

For starters, we were born on the same day.

Sure, she got here a couple of decades earlier, but except the part where she’s a rich, famous, writer-director-actress married to James Brolin, and oh, that singing thing, we could have been separated at birth.

We both have blue eyes and chemically enhanced blonde hair. We speak the same language; in Brooklyn or Philly, …

When the People We Love No Longer Exist

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go, love & relationships

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.” ~Steve Jobs

A week ago a woman I loved died. She was a member of my family and had been dying for a while from bone cancer, so her death did not come as a surprise.

I was traveling when I got the email, and I sat in Abu Dhabi airport surrounded by the banging and steps of people and grieved.

Yes, I knew her death was imminent, but at a deeper level I found the news …

Learning to Let Go and Trusting That We Will Be Okay

By in Blog, letting go

“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” ~Steve Maraboli

While going through some major life changes, I am finally learning to let go. I am learning to relinquish control. And I am learning that everything will be okay in the end.

I am in the middle of my first pregnancy. I thought I could control my body. I thought I could control my outcome.

Something I regularly preach to anyone who will listen is that we can’t control the outcome of any situation. We can only control our actions.

That means …

Keeping Your Eyes on the Prize When Your Goal Seems Far Off

By in Blog, meaning & passion, work fulfillment

“Doing your best means never stop trying.” ~Unknown

As a teacher, the summer season is special, sacred time when I recover from a busy school year and prepare for the next one. The bonus is that I also use the time as a personal blank slate to be as productive as I can be in the other areas of my life that got neglected when all of my energy went into teaching.

June began with a long list of goals and a meticulously planned schedule for every day and hour of the week. I had big eyes and high hopes …

How a Major Crisis Can Sometimes Be a Blessing in Disguise

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Pain can change you, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a bad change. Take that pain and turn it into wisdom.” ~Unknown

Ten years ago my life changed in a dramatic way. What I experienced in 2004 seemed like a major disaster at first, but it turns out that sometimes what seems like the worst life experience can actually be one of our biggest blessings.

In 2004, I was in graduate school, working toward a PhD in history. When I graduated from college in 2001, I wanted to be a professor. Well, that’s what I thought I wanted, …

8 Draining Habits to Let Go if You Want to Be Happy

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“We first make our habits, then our habits make us.” ~John Dryden

This may look good, sound good, and maybe even feel good at first, but it’s not serving you well in the end!

I’d hear this thought in my head over and over and still not believe it. But it had persisted ever since I started questioning the status quo in my life. And I don’t mean a loud, in-your-face, obnoxious line of questioning, but rather, a gentle curious whisper that asks: Well, why does it have to be this way, if I may ask?

Questioning the status quo …

How to Stop Fearing the Worst and Worrying About “What Ifs”

By in Blog, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths.” ~Charles H. Spurgeon

There’s nothing like a real health emergency for putting insignificant worries into perspective.

By the time I was pregnant the second time, I had left my struggles with anxiety largely behind me. Having been to therapy years earlier to find coping mechanisms for managing my ever-present phobias, I was in a fairly good place when I learned I’d been given a second chance at having a child.

But worry is as much as part of me as breathing, and having lost …

7 Ways to Live a Less Fearful, More Peaceful Life

By in Blog, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when adults are afraid of the light.” ~Adapted from Plato

I was digging in my half-empty refrigerator one day, searching for leftovers, when my phone rang. I glared at it wondering who the hell had the nerve to interrupt my hunt for sustenance.

I grabbed the phone with pure agitation and put it to my ear. On the other end of the line I heard a faint voice mutter the three most unforgettable words I had ever heard: “Dad is gone.”

The …