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3 Ways to Deal with 3 Different Forms of Negativity in the World

“The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think people need to start shifting into joy and happiness. As corny as it sounds, we need to make a shift.” ~Ellen DeGeneres

I’ve dealt with a lot of negativity in my life.

When I was only 20, my dad died of ALS, or Lou Gehrig’s disease. Before that I had to watch him suffer from it for a couple of years as his body slowly lost its functions.

Also, when I was young I was bullied a lot

5 Ways to Turn Simple Daily Tasks into Meaningful Rituals

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ~ Robert Brault

“Routine” can seem like a dirty word; we can get stuck repeating the same actions over and over again and feel like slaves to our habits.

Yet there are some things we simply cannot get around—sleeping, waking, eating, working, and engaging with others. There are also repetitions that we embrace as rituals—Friday afternoon with its promise of the weekend, weekly religious observances, a favorite TV show even.

What if we could turn regular, seemingly mundane daily activities into

Learning to Love Your Body: 4 Steps to Self-Care

“Your body is precious. It is our vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.” ~Buddha

My life has been one big hate-fest of my body.

I don’t know when or how it developed, but I have been comparing my body to others’ for as long as I can remember. I was never happy, never good enough. There was always work to be done, goals to achieve.

Not only was I constantly on the latest diet that most likely was extremely bad for me, but I was also mentally beating myself up every step of the way.

The self-talk was …

Why Enthusiasm Trumps Worrying When It Comes to Reaching Goals

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow. It only saps today of its joy.” ~Leo Buscaglia

They say the greatest joy in life is to be able to live your passion every day, and I only had to look to my teens to remember that what I had always enjoyed doing most—working out. That’s where I wanted to go in life.

Held hostage by worries about the future, status, and money, I decided to head on a different path. I did well in college, graduating with a business degree and a double major in finance and accounting.

A few years …

3 Tips to Be Happier in Work and in Life

“It isn’t our position but our disposition that makes us happy” ~Unknown

I am just winding down from a business trip that has been both trying and inspiring at the same time. I’ve recently been put into a role to manage a department in a functionality I know nothing about, working with people I’ve barely met, and changing a formerly toxic environment.

To say the least, I have a challenge ahead of me. Now six months into the position, I took my direct reports to breakfast and told them the sole purpose was for them to give feedback on how …

Every Day Can Be A Starting Point: Make a New Beginning

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” ~Carl Bard

Birthdays. They’re supposed to be a joyous celebration, right?

That one special day each year when we throw a party and reflect on the day our amazing journey began.

The starting point.

I’ve had quite a colorful journey and certainly enjoyed many wonderful birthdays in my life.

Turning 50 this past year wasn’t one of them. Here’s why.

When we’re little every birthday marks a major accomplishment. We learn to walk. Then we learn to …

Finding Peace and Joy When Dealing with Pain and Loss

“Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.” ~Richard Bach

There are times when nothing seems to move in the right direction. We either feel stuck or lost in chaos and confusion. Days follow nights as pages on the calendar turn into months, but you remain at the same place.

A few years back I suffered a miscarriage in the eighth month of pregnancy. I lost my baby and my dreams of motherhood. In the deep void I experienced both physical pain and mental agony.

At such times despite your efforts, the situation turns from bad to …

When Efficiency Isn’t Efficient: The Shortest Path Isn’t Always Best

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

“The shortest path between two points is a straight line.” That comes straight out of my eighth grade geometry textbook and if you can’t trust math, what can you trust?

That pronouncement rang my chime. It put words to an unspoken feeling I had had for a long time. What could be better, truer, or more perfect than the shortest path?

Kids Do the Darnedest Things

As a teenager, I started putting in place “straight lines” in my life everywhere I could impose them. I got out of bed …

Have Faith That Slowing Down Will Be Good for You

“It’s not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: what are we busy about?” ~Henry David Thoreau

Four years ago, I couldn’t relax to save my life. The ability to slow down completely eluded me. I could start a company, train a pit bull, or hike 12 miles, but I sucked at taking a day off.

Looking back, I now know that I was terrified. I was certain that if I slowed down I would never get going again. “My ‘to do’ list will fall apart! My friends and clients will be angry with me! My …

Uncover Hidden Emotions: What’s Really Pushing Your Buttons and Why?

“When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself.” ~Wayne Dyer

Lately, I’ve been confronted by envy. It’s one of those negative emotions that I used to avoid taking credit for.

“I really am happy for everyone,” I would tell potential mates and friends.” And I thought I meant it.

Instead of feeling envious, which was impossible since I didn’t do envy, I would feel an ambiguous sense of dislike for the person. 

My elementary school best friend who went on to become a Miss America contender? I made up a story that she was being “fake” …

Getting to Know Yourself, What You Like, and What You Want in Life

“Be yourself; everyone is already taken” ~Oscar Wilde

In some ways, it may seem counterintuitive to have to learn to know yourself. Surely that should be a given, right? Not necessarily.

While our experiences clearly helped shape us into the people we are today, this does not mean that we necessarily know who we really are—what we are passionate about and what we want from life.

Since we were tiny, we’ve developed beliefs and values, some good and some not so good, as a result of our environment and the pressure from society to conform. 

When I was younger, I …

Determine What Will Make You Happy by Identifying Your Values

Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one’s values.” ~Ayn Rand

For too many years, I played the part of the perfect little southern girl: I kept my mouth shut and my opinions to myself. I dressed properly, including panty hose, slips, and girdles. I didn’t laugh too loudly in public. I did what I was told.

You see, I learned at an early age that I had to do this in order to always be seen as a “good little girl” (and avoid getting punished). I continued the same behavior after I got …

Surviving and Thriving: 3 Lessons About Dealing with Hard Times

“Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers.” ~Unknown

Lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV and massive machines, I seriously considered the possibility that I was having a nightmare. Everything felt so surreal.

At 22 years old, my life was full of promise and potential. I had recently graduated from college and it was a time of beginnings. I was living in Manhattan and had begun working in music publishing.

I had no idea that a late night trip to the emergency room due to a rapid heart rate would result in a weeklong hospitalization.

When …

Getting Back Up After You Fall & Healing from Depression

“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.” ~Theodore Rubin

Growing up I was a thoughtful and happy kid—carefree, easy going, not afraid to make mistakes and take on challenges.

Just before I turned thirteen, my parents moved our family halfway across the world where we knew no one.

I adjusted well, made friends, and felt content and successful in my pursuit of whatever I decided was worth pursuing. I was strong and confident. I worked hard, laughed easily and often, and felt as if I …

You Are Lovable Whether You Are in a Relationship or Not

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I began this New Year as a single woman, something I had not experienced for the past five.

Last June my boyfriend of nearly three years dropped this bomb on my world:

“Carmen, I know you want to spend the rest of your life with me, but I can’t give that to you, because I’m gay.”

The future I’d created for us in my mind disappeared all at once.

I was sure I was getting an engagement …

Dealing with Disagreements with Loved Ones: 5 Helpful Tips

“We find comfort among those who agree with us—growth among those who don’t.” ~Frank A. Clark

This post is for anyone who has ever disagreed with the people they love the most, to remind them that these disagreements do not have to lead to regret.

Indeed, they can lead to our deepest growth if we so choose.

But I’m getting ahead of myself…

Hi. My name is Sabrina, and despite my best intentions, I don’t always have the most harmonious conversations.

When it comes to my family, especially my parents, my ego struggles with second-guessing their words, choices, and actions, …

How Mindfulness Can Help You Discover What You Want to Do in Life

“Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.” ~Rodin

When I was in college, I knew what to do and everything clicked along.

But as graduation approached, I got nervous.

I’d always assumed that some “good job” would turn up when I got out of school. But now it was in my face that I had no idea where I was going.

I took a career workshop where we figured out our favorite interests and best skills. What the class didn’t provide was any follow-up to help me actually find the dream job.

I didn’t know …

7 Tips to Challenge Perfectionism: Enjoy More and Worry Less

“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor.” ~Anne Lamott

I originally planned to write this post a month ago. The topic was interesting, and it was one that I was sure most people could relate to. I mean, who hasn’t wrestled with the issue of perfectionism at some point?

One after another, notions and examples of perfectionism flowed steadily from my mind onto my notepad. And when I ran those ideas by a few friends, each of them shared their own stories about how the need to be perfect at something had negatively affected their lives.

Simply put, there was …

When You Feel Terrified: Come Out of the Panic Zone

“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.” ~Pema Chodron

Are you as scared as I am?

I’m terrified.

I’m not talking horror movie terrified either. This isn’t the kind of scared where you jump, but then realize it’s just your friend who’s surprised you. This isn’t even the kind of scared when you realize you left your iPhone in a public bathroom.

This is the kind of scared where your gut churns and churns. You feel shaky, hungry, and out of sorts. It’s a visceral, palpable fear.

Who’s Afraid Of the Big Bad… ?

You’re probably …

4 Ways to Remain Centered Amid All of Life’s Chaos

“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” ~Joan Borysenko

Right now I’m in a tight squeeze. I’m in the process of making some big changes, and it’s bringing a lot of chaos, uncertainty, insecurities, and fears into my life, as changes will do.

One of my deepest desires is to be able to look chaos in any form, of any magnitude, square in the eye, and levitate up to the next level of not letting any of the anarchy affect my inner homeostasis. Whatever the drama—work, family, friends, worldly, financial, school, natural disasters—I don’t …