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5 Tips to Recognize and Honor Your Needs in Relationships

By in Blog, love & relationships

“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.” ~Sonya Friedman

In what feels like a previous life, I was a serial dater.

I looked for attention, validation, and identification in relationships. Each guy, however wrong for me, seemed like the perfect fit for my empty hand.

Maybe I hated being around his smoking, but I brushed it off and tried to breathe the other way.

Maybe our conversations were dull, but I thought it’d get better. Maybe I cringed at being dragged to another party, but I went because he wanted to see his friends.

This pattern continued …

How to Create Emotional Freedom by Setting Healthy Boundaries

By in Blog, love & relationships

“I’ve discovered that you can’t change people. They can change themselves.” ~Jim Rohn

 “As much I want you to be happy, I’m realizing that I can’t be responsible for your happiness.”

I had never spoken truer words in my life. Even as the tears flowed down my cheeks, I felt a profound sense of freedom and lightness.

My mother suffers from major depressive disorder. For much of my life I truly believed that there was something I could do to bring her out of it. I tried to be the perfect daughter. I minimized my own emotional presence. I did …

Help People Feel Better: The Power of Understanding

By in Blog, love & relationships

“When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself.” ~Wayne Dyer

I used to be someone who always gave my opinion, or confronted issues in relationships regardless of whether someone was in the mood for what I had to say.

I always brought up whatever was bothering me or said my opinion, perhaps in not so tactful ways. Needless to say, this led to a lot of emotional confrontations and blowouts with friends and family members, sometimes destroying important relationships.

I justified my actions by thinking that people deserved to hear the truth, no matter what.

Despite …

How to Overcome Passive Aggression: Meet Your Needs by Communicating Clearly

By in Blog, love & relationships

A couple of weeks ago, while reading a post on a different personal development site, I found a comment from a reader who seemed to question the blogger’s intentions and integrity, as it pertains to how he does business.

This reader was direct. She didn’t beat around the bush; she came right out and communicated how she felt. For this reason, and because the comment was based in assumptions, it read as somewhat harsh and judgmental.

Another reader responded to that comment, starting with something along the lines of, “Wow, now isn’t this a wonderful learning opportunity for both of …

The World Needs You to Come Alive

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

“Don’t ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~Howard Thurman

Three years ago, I found myself in the biggest predicament of my life.

I had finally found what made me happy. I knew that travel ignited a part of me that otherwise lay dormant. The foreign sights, sounds, flavors, and language of a new country are what make my heart pound, my blood pump, and my soul bloom.

I love everything about traveling, and how it impacts my life: the Greek …

Go Ahead and Care—It Won’t Break You

By in Blog, work fulfillment

“What you do have control over is how you react to what happens in your life.” ~Oprah

How vulnerable it is to care deeply.

Because, oh God—the white-hot shame of caring, and having your caring exposed when it doesn’t happen despite your best efforts?

Humbling.

The thing I wanted most since I was a little girl was to be a published writer. Published, as in bound book in hand, “by Kate Swoboda” on the cover. 

As a child, I spent hours writing books—real books, from beginning to end, sometimes illustrating them with pictures.

I majored in English with a writing …

Learn to Forgive Yourself Even When You’ve Hurt Someone Else

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships

“Be gentle first with yourself if you wish to be gentle with others.” ~Lama Yeshe

Think back to the last time somebody apologized to you about something. Did you forgive them? There is a very good chance that you did.

Now think back to the last time you harmed someone else. Have you forgiven yourself? Probably not.

We all make mistakes. Oftentimes, through our actions, somebody gets hurt.

During this past year, I served as a liaison between my fraternity and a seventeen-year-old cancer patient in a local hospital through the Adopt-a-Family program. This patient, Josh Goldstein, passed away …

Make Up Your Mind to Go with the Flow

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.” ~Lao Tzu

Long before health experts were telling us “You are what you eat,” some time after Buddha spoke his wisdom “What we think we become,” ancient Chinese sage Lao Tzu mused that we only need to change our way of thinking for our lives to fall into place.

Sounds so easy, right? Easier, at least, than always eating our greens, let alone somehow imagining ourselves into the NASA space program or up on stage on Broadway!

I suspect what Lao Tzu mostly meant was to …

Taking Small Steps to Do the Thing That Scares You

By in Blog, change & challenges, meaning & passion

“Take that first step. Bravely overcoming one small fear gives you the courage to take on the next.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

When I was younger I loved to climb trees, but I was always too scared to get myself down. Somehow, when standing at the base of a massive Oak, I’d forget how terrified I’d feel at the top.

So I’d climb away, trying to prove to the neighborhood boys that I was fearless, and then stay up there, clutching the bark and crying, until someone helped me get safely to the ground.

I knew who I wanted to be—a daredevil …

The Little Events That Shape Our Lives

By in Blog, change & challenges

“It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward.” ~Proverb

This morning, I sat through my third fall semester orientation in my graduate school career. While most of the time I sat begrudgingly listening to my professors, there were a few things that stood out to me. When I left the orientation, one thing was loud and clear:

I had not done nearly as much as my peers had done.

As I listened to my professors and peers talk about their research, their positions within the …

Gaining Strength, Courage, and Confidence from Failure

By in Blog, change & challenges

“He is able who thinks he is able.” ~Buddha

At any point of time, every person has:

  • A set of things s/he wants to change but cannot (plans)
  • A set of things s/he tried to change but could not (helplessness)
  • A set of things s/he could have changed and did not (guilt)
  • A fear of the unknown, anxiety about the future, and worry about decisions to be taken (fear)
  • Too many plans and associated what-ifs (anxiety)

I have experienced all of the feelings listed above and have tried hard to ease myself from what I went through. Many times, I …

7 Things to Remember When People Don’t Support You

By in Blog, love & relationships, meaning & passion

“I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character!” ~Theodore Roosevelt

I’m currently doing the whole “quit my job to pursue a dream” thing. I left the security and stability of having a salary along with a supposed career.

Back then, I didn’t really know what I was doing. I had no experience in blogging, plus I didn’t exactly have the confidence to market and start running a business.

Sounds crazy, right?

You can imagine the reaction I got from my friends and …

The Tiny Buddha Book Is Now Available in Dutch

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

Today is an exciting day for me, as I’m announcing the first international edition of my book, Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions.

If you’ve already learned about the book or purchased it, this post will be redundant for you! For those who haven’t read it, or are interested in the Dutch version, here’s a little information about it:

This is the first book of its kind—with tweets woven throughout.

I asked @tinybuddha followers a number of the most challenging questions in life, like:

  • Why is there suffering in the world?
  • What’s the meaning of life?
  • What
…

10 Ways to Be Great Today

By in Blog, meaning & passion

Earlier this week I wrote a post about the pursuit of greatness. I highlighted how it can sometimes create stress when it manifests as fear that we’re not good enough and might never be.

In reviewing the reader comments, I felt a sense of deep appreciation for knowing so many truly great people. And I imagined there were far more of them who didn’t comment—some who may not realize just how great they are.

I decided to put together this list based on some of my favorite related quotes. If you’re looking to nurture greatness, these tips may help …

The Message Your Higher Self Wants You To Hear

By in Blog, meaning & passion

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Leanne Kallal

“There is no need to reach high for the stars. They are already within you. Just reach deep into yourself!” ~Unknown

I’m not sure about you, but I’m the type of person who’s constantly coming up with new ideas and having big a-has—both in my personal and professional life.

I have multiple note-taking apps on my phone, and I have more notebooks and journals kicking around my room than I know what to do with.

Interestingly enough, despite all the notes I take to make sure I remember my important moments, …

Respond Instead of Reacting: Speak Your Truth, Not Your Fears

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Speak when you are angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” ~Laurence J. Peter

Finances, relationships, responsibilities, and life in general can certainly create a great deal of noise in our heads. However, if we truly want to feel inner peace, we must take the time to learn to be mindful instead of mind full. This, and only this, will allow us to respond to life instead of reacting to it.

I have tons of happy memories from my childhood and a few harsh ones too. Unfortunately, the harsh memories are those that we replay over and …

Owning Our Actions and Avoiding Regret

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Your actions are your only true belongings.” ~Allan Lokos

I’d bet I’m not the only one who browses through the quotes section of Tiny Buddha when its time for a pick-me-up or a little bit of a calming down.

As I’m writing this, the quote above is particularly pertinent. I found out an hour ago that someone has hit my car for the second time this year—in the same parking lot as the last accident.

I’m pretty upset, and between waiting to file the police report and being on hold with the insurance, a little bit of comfort reading made …

50 Cheap, Creative Ways to Have Fun

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Never let lack of money interfere with having fun.” ~Unknown

Back when we were young we may have asked our parents for money to do things, but more often than not we found creative ways to have fun without spending a dime.

At least I know I did.

My cousins and I turned their bulkhead cellar doors into a slide—and the main attraction of our DIY amusement park.

We turned cardboard paper towel rolls and rice-filled soda bottles into instruments, and entertained ourselves for hours on end. Okay, maybe not hours, but you get the point.

We didn’t wait …

When the Pursuit of Greatness Does More Harm Than Good

By in Blog, meaning & passion, work fulfillment

“Seek not greatness, but seek truth and you will find both.” ~Horace Mann

You’re destined for greatness. Don’t settle for mediocrity. You can be extraordinary.

Have you ever heard one of these motivating statements? I see them all the time around the web, and while I understand the intention, I sometimes have mixed feelings about the implication.

We all want to make a difference in the world. We all want to make some kind of impact, both to contribute to mankind and to feel that our lives mean something.

It’s a great, big world out there, and at times …

6 Tips to Keep Becoming Who You’re Meant to Be

By in Blog

“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” ~Anais Nin

Last October, in a whiplash-fast, three-hour labor, two and half weeks before my due date, I gave birth to my first baby, a boy, named Jackson.

While pregnancy hadn’t been a breeze—I was hospitalized twice with complications, and, you know, no sushi for nine months—the first few weeks of Jackson’s life left me feeling, at times, like a shattered shell of my …