Look for the Silver Lining
What to Do When You Find It Hard to Do What’s Good for You
“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.” ~Lao Tzu
I know how you feel.
You know you shouldn’t eat that cookie, but it’s as if there’s something from deep within that compels you to move your arm forward, pick it up, and consume it in one, grandiosely guilty gesture.
You find yourself performing entire series of behaviors—like reaching into your pocket, picking out the pack, getting the cigarette, and lighting it—without even realizing what you’ve done until you’ve got the thing in your mouth.
You promise yourself you won’t complain, judge, or …
6 Tips to Help You Free Yourself from Your Fearful Thoughts
“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” ~Eckhart Tolle
Here I am, huddled up close to the wood burner, my only source of heat, sitting on an old recliner chair that was given to me, in a rented apartment with windows soaked with condensation. Outside it is cold, wet, and dreary, a typical English winter’s day.
My business folded in July with substantial personal debt and I turned forty-four in August.
Perhaps not the most heart-warming start to a post, but rather some raw facts of how …
Enjoying Our Passions Instead of Focusing on Status and Approval
“If your number one goal is to make sure that everyone likes and approves of you, then you risk sacrificing your uniqueness, and, therefore, your excellence.” ~Unknown
The year that I graduated from college with my undergraduate degree, I was beyond enthusiastic about being a teacher.
I was absolutely confident that I was a very gifted communicator and that I had a great deal to offer to the field of education. In reality, I had no idea how right I was, yet how different my path would be from what I expected.
For me, work was not just a “J-O-B”; …
Dealing with Disappointing Relationships: Change Your Expectations
“If you can’t change the circumstances, change your perspective.” ~Unknown
Sometimes it feels as if you are completely in control of your life, but when it comes to relationships there’s always the other person.
In a relationship, you can’t be the puppeteer. People have their own emotions, behaviors, actions, beliefs, scars, wounds, fears, dreams, and perspectives. They are their own person.
How often have you wanted a relationship to be something that it was not?
How many times have you said a certain word or phrase in order to spark a specific reaction?
How much do you expect from …
3 Lessons from Traveling That Lead to Everyday Happiness
“Remember that happiness is a way of travel—not a destination.” ~Roy M. Goodman
After graduating from college I took off to explore Europe for four months with one of my best friends.
We backpacked through fourteen different countries and learned things about the world and ourselves that we never expected. We often joked that we learned more about life and ourselves traveling abroad for four months than we did going to school for four years in college.
When you’re traveling, you get a whole new perspective on what really matters, and you feel this sense of adventure and excitement that …
50 Ways to Find Creative Inspiration
“If we look at the world with a love of life, the world will reveal its beauty to us.” ~Daisaku Ikeda
I have always loved that scene in American Beauty when Ricky Fitts shows his video of a plastic bag blowing in the wind.
He’s the complete opposite of his neighbor Lester Burnham, who seems to have decided long ago to live life in a comatose state of submission, completely disconnected from authentic joy.
Ricky seems inspired by everything that most people simply overlook. He explains of his bag video:
“It was one of those days when it’s a minute …
A Man, a Pink Tutu, and His Smiling Wife, Who’s Undergoing Chemo
One woman. One cancer diagnosis. One man. One pink tutu. One inspiring mission. More smiles than can possibly be counted. Bob Carey, you are my new hero.
Why You Should Do That Thing You’ve Always Wanted to Do
“Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.” ~Robert H. Schuller
In March this year, I did something I had wanted to do since the age of nine: I had my first piano lesson. At the time I was nearly thirty-five, so it had only taken me twenty-six years to get around to it.
Why the delay? Well, when I was little, we couldn’t afford lessons, but looking back I see that was only an excuse until I got my first part-time job at sixteen—which means that the last nineteen years of procrastinating were entirely down to me.…
Change Your Life: Be Honest with Yourself and Make Conscious Choices
“If you do nothing unexpected, nothing unexpected happens.” ~Fay Weldon
During the last year I have made significant changes. I have changed my habits, values, thoughts, and perception of life. It has been an amazing journey and I have learned some valuable lessons that I want to share with you about happiness, motivation, and standing up for decisions you believe in.
I have always loved attention and I have always loved to party. In Denmark, it is not unusual that students drink two to three times a week, and I used to do that, as well.
Last year I …
Make Peace with Your Past: Find the Good and Embrace the Lessons
“It’s not the events of our lives that shape us but our beliefs as to what those events mean.” ~Tony Robbins
Daughter of an alcoholic. Welfare recipient. Teenage mother. Non-college attendee. Poor decision maker. Unhealthy relationship participant. Financial disaster. Evictee.
All of these statements described me. They also propelled me into action, transforming me into an over-achieving perfectionist. Yet they still weighed me down because I felt like I had to constantly prove I was better than my past—better than the circumstances from which I came.
It took a lot of effort.
It took a lot of energy.
It was …
Be Happier with What Is by Letting Go of How Things Should Be
“What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.” ~Ralph Marston
Have you ever been stuck and felt like you’re spiraling around the same space over and over? It’s just like Groundhog Day.
Every day, you have new intentions about how it will be different only to be left with the same hollow feelings at the end of the day.
You feel sadness for the dreams of what could have been and maybe even what should have been.
At forty-five I found myself unexpectedly in this place, stuck like my feet were almost tied to the ground. All the usual …
Secret Santa’s Layaway Gift
Three mothers got the best holiday gift ever this year: the gift of renewed faith in people. It’s something we can all give year round, not just at the holiday season, and not just with our wallets. In fact, you may already give it regularly without even realizing it.
For all the angels who give it here, through kindness, consideration, and support, in comments or in the forums, I thank you. You remind me that people are good, and people care!
Why Screwing Things Up Is Crucial to Your Well-Being
“Where there is perfection there is no story to tell.” ~Ben Okri
Somehow I’d gathered my courage and volunteered from the audience during a local improvisational theater show. And before I knew it, I was up on stage with the troupe, being welcomed, supported, and seamlessly gathered into the scene in a way that only professional improvisers can do.
I left the stage high as a kite from the adrenaline rush, returning to my seat and enthusing to my friend that I wanted to start taking improv classes right away!
What I didn’t realize until I was several weeks …
When You’re at the End of Your Rope: 7 Tips to Help Yourself
TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of sexual assault and may be triggering to some people.
“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” ~Bernice Johnson Reagan
During my first year away at college, I struggled with depression and anxiety. I felt broken, hopeless, and lost, and I didn’t know how to cope.
At times, I thought about jumping out of my fourth floor dorm room window.
Thankfully, I didn’t.
It all began on the day I moved into my dorm in August of 2008. My parents took me …
How to Really Embrace Yourself (Even in the Face of Criticism)
“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.” ~Unknown
Sitting at a party minding my own business, I wasn’t expecting it. I had no reason to. A comment filled with sarcasm and authority shot out at me from a across the room.
“Shut up Kathryn.”
It hit me like a bullet aimed straight at my heart.
I wasn’t even aware I was being particularly quiet. I was simply being me. Taking in my surroundings, quietly observing, listening to the conversations that encircled me.
But someone had noticed …
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