Dharma Comics: Hold Emotions Lightly


“Breakdowns can create breakthroughs. Things fall apart so things can fall together.” ~Unknown
“I’m sorry,” the email said, “but our phone call left me feeling uncomfortable, and we’ve decided to work with someone else.”
I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. Even though I saw it coming. Even though I’d brought it on myself.
It was February 2010, and I didn’t have the money to pay my mortgage. My savings were gone, burned through in a misguided attempt to breathe life back into my ailing business by “throwing money at the problem.”
As a ketubah artist—a maker of …

“All great changes are preceded by chaos.” ~Deepak Chopra
A personal tempest blew through the doors and windows of my life, and I am forever changed. Think major upheaval in every area of your life. Conjure Dorothy Gale, Robinson Crusoe, Job, yeah them.
In the process, I’ve learned that the disorienting storms of life are not just about survival but of learning to thrive. It is not in spite of daunting circumstances that we grow but because of them.
For three years, painful and unexpected events descended all at once. My long-term marriage, often filled with anger, hurt, mistrust, …

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche
Toward the end of last spring I was feeling a little restless in Los Angeles, so I decided to take some time in the summer to live on a yoga retreat in Hawaii. I was set on recharging and finding comfort in like-minded people who valued slowing down and mindfulness.
Learning was not at the top of my list; I was there to unwind from a tough semester and recharge for the semester …

“Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
For much of my life, I lived for approval and acceptance from family members, friends, and co-workers. I can’t recall not considering what people thought about my actions or what I had said, wondering if I could have done them better. I was always thinking of others and their feelings toward me.
It was a constant battle in my head, and it was starting to drain me of my peace.
No matter what they had done to me in the past, no matter how …

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you won’t do anything with it.” ~M. Scott Peck
For most of my life, I thought I had no ambition.
To be fair, I thought it because it was true. Don’t get me wrong. I had ambition to keep living, to shower daily, and to seek out entertainment at the end of my miserable days working in customer service. Still, regardless of how miserable those days were, I wasn’t motivated to change my life path.
I used to wish for ambition, in that vague sense that …

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” ~Nelson Mandela
The world can be a scary place.
As we go through our daily lives, we face many challenges, and often these challenges can bring about fear. We may fear the loss of something, or perhaps the lack of fulfillment. We may experience fear when going on a job interview or a first date.
The greatest challenge with fear is that it can hold us back from achieving our goals, but it doesn’t have to.
Over the past six months I have let one …

“Those that know, do. Those that understand, teach.” ~Aristotle
I’ve been mostly introverted for a majority of my life, often running away from issues that could cause a damaging conversation between me and another person.
Experience has taught me that when I get upset, I don’t naturally handle my hardship with grace.
I worked as a restaurant manager for some years, and it was just too easy to react to the frustration I felt when an employee disregarded my request that they stock the bathroom with paper towels or wash the front windows.
I would either explode or I would …

“Don’t wait for your feelings to change to take the action. Take the action and your feelings will change.” ~Barbara Baron
How do you feel about anger? Growing up, I always felt that anger was “bad.” In school and at home I learned that anger made people do “bad” things, and anger was a source of “evil” in the world.
I didn’t want any part of that! So, when things happened that made me angry (for example, getting bullied at school), I’d ignore the feelings of anger until they “went away.” I’d go home and cry, feeling these emotions …

“Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain.” ~Robert Gary Lee
As the only child of a single parent, my family of two was small and our relationship could be intense.
My southern belle mom, with her stories and easy laugh, her quick wit, and her love of all things literary was the mom who all my high school friends adored and loved—the one who my teenage friends could talk to when they were too angry or irritated with their own mother.
I loved her too, but I also worried about her. A lot. Because I knew a secret about her …

“We must each lead a way of life with self-awareness and compassion, to do as much as we can. Then, whatever happens we will have no regrets.” ~Dalai Lama
If you’re anything like me, you may have a love-hate relationship with social networking.
There are so many cool facets to social networking sites, such as Facebook, but I am finding that the relative ease of information sharing with the masses and portable nature of technology bring their own set of challenges. Not a bad thing, per-se, but perhaps an invitation to practice even greater mindfulness and compassion.
She’s a YouTube sensation, with popular make-up tutorials that have received millions of hits. But what I’m most fascinated by is her personal story, and the empowering message she shares in her engaging “Draw My Life” video. We all have a story to tell, and we are part of something beautiful…

“Sometimes in tragedy we find our life’s purpose. The eye sheds a tear to find its focus.” ~Robert Brault
“Lay still. We think both your arms are broken.”
I obeyed the police officer and stopped struggling to rise from the hard, cold pavement.
An ambulance soon had me in emergency, where I discovered that my problem was a lot worse than broken arms.
My right arm had to be amputated. My left arm was paralyzed. I had no more use of my arms.
I laughed my way through my long hospital stay.
No one could understand how a man who …

“The journey is the reward.” ~Proverb
I should start by clarifying that even though there’s a lot of walking involved in this story, I’m not a walker, or particularly sporty. So what was I thinking going on a 500-mile pilgrimage you may (rightly) ask? I wasn’t. I was feeling it. In my gut.
You know those butterflies that wreck havoc in your tummy when you have an exciting idea? Well, I had about a thousand of those. Butterflies, not ideas. I only had one idea, and I didn’t even think that one through.
El Camino de Santiago. St James Way. …

“Meaning is not what you start with but what you end up with.” ~Peter Elbow
As a boy, I had a romantic notion about having a job where I traveled for business. It sounded so important and stylish. I liked the idea of dashing through airports to my next big meeting.
I thought it meant that mine would be a wider world. And so it was.
As often happens, what you think about comes into being. I found myself on my very first “business trip.” I was going to the exotic location of Moline, …

“Poise is an unseen power, and this unseen power is always ready to come to the aid of the outer action.” ~Sri Chinmoy
Poise is the seeker’s goal because poise is our highest state of consciousness. Poised, we are in a state of balance, composure, and equanimity, all of our powers at our disposal.
When I am able to achieve poise, I am present, connected, grateful, creative, and light-hearted. Poised, my love flows.
Like most of us, I have been poised much of the time, especially when life was easy, absent any major challenge. But I have also lost …

“Happiness is a direction, not a place.” ~Sydney J Harris
Being happy is for most of us one of the key aims in life. But where we often go wrong is in figuring out which path to take to achieve that happiness.
My own path has been a somewhat unconventional one. In my last year at college, most of my peers were busy applying for full-time jobs with large companies, but I knew that wasn’t what I wanted to do.
I wanted to see the world, which (long before gap years became so common) was met with disapproval by many. …