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Cherish Your Challenges and Find Your Authentic Self

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” ~Bernice Johnson Reagon

My quarter-life crisis kicked into high gear about six months ago.

Take this as evidence: I quit my job. I quit my apartment and moved back home. I quit booze and boys. I quit gluten and sugar. I quit friendships I’d imagined would last a lifetime.

I’m not asking for an A+ or gold stars for my “self” work. I wasn’t hit by a spark of spiritual lightening and magically committed to this transformation. In a lot of ways, the …

Tiny Wisdom: Saying Yes Because You Think You Should

By in Perspective, Quotes

“It is not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” -Unknown

Have you ever felt a strong instinct to say no to something—but then said yes anyway? I did this a few months back, when someone contacted me on behalf of a bestselling self-help author, asking me to promote his book.

As I’m sure you’ve noticed, I love sharing books that have made a difference in my life. And I generally choose which ones to feature based on a genuine desire to introduce them to you.

When this author’s marketing team contacted me this summer, asking …

Define Success to Create Success, Starting Now

By in Blog, meaning & passion, work fulfillment

“What matters is the value we’ve created in our lives, the people we’ve made happy, and how much we’ve grown as people.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

Ahhh success! It sounds so good. We all want it, but are you brave enough to define what success means to you and go for it?

Society conditions us to define success as being the best, attaining prosperity, making a lot money, or having a fancy CEO title.

I thought I had “success” ten years ago where I spent five years working on Wall Street at Credit Suisse, an investment banking firm in New York City. …

Tiny Wisdom: Enjoying How We Work

By in Quotes

“If we are ever to enjoy life, now is the time, not tomorrow or next year.” -Thomas Dreier

Have you ever formed an insight about yourself that seems completely obvious in retrospect? I had one of those realizations not too long ago.

I woke up to the sound of raindrops dancing on my window pain. I’ve always said that I dislike the rain, because my mood often dims when the sky turns gray. But on this particular day, the rain seemed beautiful.

As I sat in my home office (read: the two feet behind my couch) writing and editing, the …

How to Create the Life You Want Using Anchors

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun

“Put your future in good hands—your own.” ~Unknown

They say that in life, we are never given more than we can handle.

But sometimes it’s a matter of not accepting more than we can handle. Putting your foot down. Proclaiming, “That’s enough!”

Recently, a number of stressors confronted me simultaneously. This jolted me out of my comfort zone and forced me to take action toward transforming my life.

On one fateful Tuesday, I felt so much pressure from the culmination of professional demands, relational conflicts, parenting duties, and financial stressors that I found myself at a familiar crossroads. …

Giveaway and Interview: Cultivating Radiance by Tamara Gerlach

By in Blog, Giveaway

Note: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha to receive daily or weekly emails and learn about future giveaways!

The winners:

Have you ever wondered how authors live their messages—if writers who explore mindfulness are generally present and peaceful, or if others who research happiness are predominately upbeat and joyful?

This often goes through my mind when I read a book that inspires me. I didn’t have to wonder this as I read Cultivating Radiance: 5 Essential Elements for Holistic Self-Care. I’d recently met the book’s …

Tiny Wisdom: Stumbling on Unexpected Joy

By in Happiness, Possibilities, Quotes

Laughing Buddha

“Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.” ~Henri Nouwen

The other day I saw the movie Moneyball after originally deciding it wasn’t for me. I did the same thing with The Blind Side—I assumed I wouldn’t like it because I’m not a sports fan. I realized how wrong I was when I left the theater both laughing and crying (I’m emotionally ambidextrous).

I’ve done this many times before—made a snap judgment about whether or not I’d enjoy an experience based on assumptions and incomplete  information. And not just …

How to Accomplish Anything Leveraging Collective Energy

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

“Success will never be a big step in the future; success is a small step taken just now.” ~Jonatan Mårtensson

I love Zumba, the Latin-inspired dance program that has become a worldwide fitness phenomenon. At the three minute mark of every class, I am alive with how much I enjoy the workout: the rhythm, the moves, the music, the collective energy.

The room is filled with non-stop music pounding against the walls and ceiling, as over fifty bodies of all ages and sizes come together in synchronized movement.

At the 12-minute mark, the music is louder and faster. My focus …

Tiny Wisdom: Worrying About Future Regrets

By in Challenges, Happiness, Quotes, Worry

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow. It only saps today of its joy.” -Leo Buscaglia

A friend of mine got engaged this September. Previously, she and her fiance agreed that they both did not want children. But recently she’s been wondering about whether or not she’ll regret this some day–when she’s older and it’s no longer physically possible.

Mere nights before I discussed this with her, I read some discouraging research about the effects of parenting on happiness: Daniel Gilbert reports that “parenting makes most people about as happy as an act of housework.”

I suspect that’s not universally …

Why We Sometimes Choose Judgment Instead of Compassion

By in Blog, love & relationships

“In separateness lies the world’s great misery, in compassion lies the world’s true strength.” ~Buddha

We talk about boys these days at our dinner table.

Boys are sneaking into our home now—or at least the idea of boys. Although I love watching my daughters grow up—it’s much more fun (and much more challenging) than I ever could have imagined—I sometimes feel a certain sadness as their days of early childhood innocence slip behind us.

Their battalion of stuffed animals, for example, who were accustomed to a life of travel and adventure—and a well-dressed one at that—often live in boredom …

Tiny Wisdom: What It Means to Be Free

By in Courage, Quotes, Responsibility

“Freedom is the will to be responsible to ourselves.” -Friedrich Nietzsche

  • When you choose to forgive instead of seeing the world through bitter eyes, you are free.
  • When learn from your mistakes instead of letting them define or cripple you, you are free.
  • When you love yourself regardless of what other people think, you are free.
  • When you accept uncertainty instead of stressing about what you don’t know, you are free.
  • When you embrace chaos, instead of struggling for control, you are free.
  • When you recognize that we are all imperfect, and then resist the urge to fight that, you
…

11 Simple Ways to Supercharge Your Time in the Now

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“To be alive is to totally and openly participate in the simplicity and elegance of here and now.” ~Donald Altman

Five years ago my life was a mess. I was anxious, worried, afraid, and running away from my feelings. I was running away from the present moment.

So, what happened?

I started applying what I knew, which were really simple things such as breathing, visualization, and being aware of my thought patterns.

I haven’t found the Holy Grail; I simply took action. I had no idea how much my life was about to change, I just knew something had …

Tiny Wisdom: The Triggers That Lead to Pain

By in Challenges, Pain, Quotes

“The world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming it.” -Helen Keller

There’s a child wailing five feet away from where I’m sitting in the Farmer’s Market at The Grove. This is my least favorite sound in the world, and I often tear up when I hear it.

While I realize children often cry for reasons that have nothing to do with danger, I associate hysterics with fear and powerlessness, and it makes me want to do something. Since I generally can’t, it manifests in my body as anxiety–a fight or flight response with no outlet.

I’ve …

Lost Love: What It Means to Move On

By in Blog, love & relationships

“‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” ~Alfred Lord Tennyson

I met a special someone. It was my first taste of love and I was sheepishly drunk with it. His were eyes I could look into forever, and he had a voice I could hear till the end of time. It was absolutely frightening.

We were colleagues. I unwittingly got involved in his life and eventually found myself wanting to get even more involved.

After a period of ambiguous yes-no-maybes, he exited the picture for good. He never wanted to talk about it, …

Tiny Wisdom: Keeping Your Heart Open

By in Courage, Love, Quotes

“A person’s world is only as big as their heart.” -Tanya A. Moore

Last week, I wrote about John Robbins, who presented at Bonfire Heights. He and his son Ocean shared a number of stores about loving fully and unconditionally. Sitting in the audience at their presentation felt like participating in a massive, 45-minute group hug. They were just that openhearted–and the audience that receptive.

This got me thinking about my capacity for vulnerability. Though I write a lot about the benefits of being open, I’ve noticed I have a limit, so to speak–a point at which I …

11 Ways to Turn Strangers into Friends

By in Blog, happiness & fun, love & relationships

“Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends.” ~Shirley Maclaine

Up until a year ago, I saw the world as a place where very few doors opened for me. At first I thought it was due to being extremely introverted. But as time went on, I started to struggle with making friends.

I didn’t have many of them—and opportunities only knocked a few times a year. That’s when I realized my problems stemmed from my passivity and fear of actually going out and talking to people.

My few closest friends always told me to join a club …

Tiny Wisdom: The Benefits of Slow Progress

By in Challenges, Change, Determination, Greatness, Motivation, Patience, Possibilities, Quotes, Success

“It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward.” ~Proverb

Sometimes it can be challenging to operate with complete integrity in business—particularly because bigger and faster can be seductive.

Case in point: I have a strong aversion to many traditional marketing methods, as I find much of it to be psychologically manipulative.

I feel it’s wrong to sell people things by playing to their deepest fears and insecurities, and implying my book or product will be the magic bullet they’ve been waiting for all their lives.…

How to Achieve Unexpected Success

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Success.

A word defined by you and me.

Do not be manipulated by the definitions applied to that word by others. Choose your own definition.

Though I believe we all have the potential to succeed in reaching our dreams, I have found that success reaches to a far greater depth in our lives.

Whenever I hug my wife of 28 years and tell her that I love her, …

Tiny Wisdom: Stop Thinking and Get Moving

By in Challenges, Determination, Fear, Possibilities, Quotes

“Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it” -David Starr Jordan

Have you ever felt so frustrated with your inability to do something that you committed to doing nothing else until you figured it out?

I have done this many times before.

I’ve confined myself to a chair, trying to force inspiration to form into written words when it just wasn’t happening. I have sat around intellectualizing about which decision I should make—as if the act of thinking really hard for hours on end would somehow make it …

4 Simple Ways to Experience Great Happiness and True Freedom

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

“It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.”  ~E.E. Cummings

I love to write. For years I wrote in journals and kept them stacked in piles on my shelves.

One rainy winter evening when I was 25, I walked into the Bourgeois Pig bookshop on Franklin Boulevard in Los Angeles and saw a book next to the cash register written by Natalie Goldberg called Wild Mind. I bought it and my life change forever.

Natalie’s book was about writing practice. A Zen monk practitioner, she brings the fundamentals of Zen to the …