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Posts tagged with “Fear”

7 Reasons I Was Scared to Take up Space and How I Boosted My Confidence

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“You are allowed to take up space. Own who you are and what you want for yourself. Stop downplaying the things you care about, the hopes you have.” ~Bianca Sparacino

I deserve to take up more space. Plain and simple. By taking the space I deserve, I further build the confidence I need to live a rich life that resonates with who I truly am.

Over the past several years, I’ve had to navigate a new life after hard breakups, difficult career transitions, and moving back home. I’ve had to face the feeling that I’m not doing enough. …

10 Quotes You Need to Read If You Struggle with Anxiety

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Have you ever received well-intentioned advice while facing intense anxiety, only to feel judged, misunderstood, or condescended?

Like, “Calm down!” Or “Just be positive!” Or “Don’t worry so much!”

The people who try to help generally want to do just that, but it’s always easier to advise someone when you’re not feeling what they’re feeling, because you have the benefit of rational thought—which goes out the window when fight-or-flight mode takes over.

And if you’ve never felt the depth of anxiety some of us experience—perhaps because you weren’t conditioned that way through trauma, or you’ve learned to block or …

If You’re Insecure and Afraid of Rejection Like Me…

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“How brave the moon shines in her skin; outnumbered by the stars.” ~Angie Welland-Crosby

I have this reoccurring dream where I am about to teach a yoga class. I stand to teach, and no one is paying any attention to me. They are all distracted or in deep conversation with one another and have no interest in engaging in the class.

As I begin, one by one the students get up and leave. I am mortified and discouraged, though I continue to teach anyway.

I wake up from the dream with a sinking feeling in my stomach and heaviness in …

8 Ways to Stop Worrying About What Other People Think of You

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“You can’t force anyone to value, respect, understand, or support you, but you can choose to spend your time around people who do.” ~Lori Deschene

It can be paralyzing.

The worry about what other people think about you, I mean. That worry can hinder you from pursuing your dreams. It can stop you from expressing your true nature and stand in the way of the life you so badly want to create.

This worry can easily get your mind wandering to dark places and trigger feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and self-doubt. When it has a grip on you, you …

Why I Ignored Morgan Freeman’s Advice on How to Live My Best Life

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“Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.” ~Roy T. Bennett

When I was a college senior, God, or the voice of God (aka Morgan Freeman) came to my campus to give a talk. At the end of the talk, I beelined toward the mic set up in the aisle of the auditorium, excited to ask my question and for him to share his wisdom with me.

“Hi, thanks so much for being with us today! As a college senior trying to figure out what to do next, I was …

When Happiness Hurts: How I Stopped Sabotaging Myself

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“Disneyland is the star, everything else is the supporting role.” ~Walt Disney

“Just having a quick shower, I’ll text you before I leave x”

I’d received that text only ten minutes ago, so what the hell was wrong with me?

There I was standing in my kitchen like a mad woman, having a panic attack. My mind was in a frenzy with thoughts like “Does he even like me?” and “What if he doesn’t show?”  and I was crying uncontrollably. I hated myself for feeling like this. I’d ruined my makeup and gotten myself into a state over nothing.

Half-hour …

Autoimmune & Coronavirus: Beating the Panic & Fear in All of Us

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EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

“The problem is not the existence of stressors, which cannot be avoided; stress is simply the brain’s way of signaling that something is important. The problem—or perhaps the opportunity—is how we respond to this stress.” ~The Book of Joy

For the past few weeks, I took pride in being able to keep fear at a distance.

My motto was “Don’t let the fear in. The fear makes you a vulnerable host to coronavirus.”

Since I have Crohn’s disease, an autoimmune condition, …

How My Fear of the Unknown Sabotages Relationships

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“Let go of the need to control the outcome. Trust the process. Trust your intuition. Trust yourself.” ~Unknown

I was talking with a friend one day at work, and we were discussing dating and the rejection that comes with that and the sense of failure and disappointment.

We were talking about how we struggle to even get close to dating someone because we get in our own way, and our thoughts stop us from moving forward because we’re scared. We’re scared, so we blow the situation up with our inability to sit with the uneasiness of not knowing what the …

I Didn’t Know How to Let Love In… Until Now

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“You open your heart knowing there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible.” ~Bob Marley

A few months ago I was visited by my mother in a dream; my deceased mother who took her own life thirty years ago.

In my dream, I was sitting on the floor of my bedroom thinking about my teenage daughter, who is around the same age I was when my mother died. I felt like my daughter was in distress, and I wanted to help her.

As …

Everything Seems to Be Falling Apart… Because It Is

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“A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not on the branch, but in its own wings. Always believe in yourself.”  ~Unknown

If you’ve ever stopped and thought, “What the hell am I doing?” or “How did I end up here?” believe me when I tell you that you are one of many—including me.

Feeling lost is stressful enough, but what about when we disappoint ourselves more than anyone around us? What do we do when we have no sense of direction or purpose, and dwindling confidence in ourselves?

I …

Being Shy Made Me Strong, and It Can Do the Same for You

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“Never assume that loud is strong and quiet is weak.” ~Unknown

This quote seems counterintuitive, right?

For many years, I, too, scoffed at the idea.

Having dealt with crippling shyness throughout my life, I know firsthand what it’s like to feel weak, powerless, and trapped because of it.

As a child, I remember clinging to my mom’s leg and using her body to hide from strangers. Then, as I got older, this shy behavior manifested into a fear of speaking my mind, interacting with others, putting myself out there, and so on and so forth.

My quiet and timid nature …

How to Trust That You’ll Be Okay No Matter What

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“The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next.” ~Ursula K. Le Guin

Did you play with cootie catchers as a kid?

You picked a number and watched anxiously as your friend counted it out. Open. Close. Open. Close.

You chose a color or picture or word and waited in anticipation as your friend unfolded the flap and read your destiny.

Or how about that MASH game? Mansion, apartment, shack, house?

I played these games with an insatiable desire for all the details.

How is all of this going to play out?

Where …

An Exercise That May Help You Make a Big, Scary Life Change

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“Change your thoughts and you can change your world.” ~Norman Vincent Peale

Making a major life change, such as changing careers or moving to a new state, can be really scary.

Even if our hearts are pulling us in one direction, we may still be plagued with doubt, fear, and anxious thoughts, such as: How do I know if I’m making the right decision? What will my family think if I do this? Will I regret this?

Even after we make the change, doubts and worries can still linger.

In 2016, I was on the brink of a major …

What to Ask Yourself When You Feel Lost, Unsure, or Confused

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“The quality of your life is a direct reflection of the quality of the questions you are asking yourself.” ~Tony Robbins

I am naturally inclined to do—to go, to move, to take action. Slowing down takes a lot of patience for me. But I often find that moving too quickly actually causes me more confusion.

One day, my head felt overwhelmed with questions. What had started with a simple idea of little ole me living in a tiny house on wheels (one of those under 200 square feet homes built on a trailer) had turned into a big undertaking …

How to Get Past Doubt and Do What You Really Want to Do

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“Doubt everything. Find your own light.” ~The Buddha

As far back as I can remember, I’ve allowed my life to be shaped by external forces.

On the outside, it appeared like I was just another carefree soul, living in the moment and going through life like a leaf on the wind. But on closer inspection, I was actually running away from having to make any real commitments and avoiding getting into a position where I had to make difficult or important decisions.

It wasn’t until recently, when I realized it was four years to the date since I’d fallen into …

How to Take Back Control from the Negative Script in Your Head

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“You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.” ~Dan Millman

I’d love to say I had an “Eat, Pray, Love” moment where sitting sobbing in the bathroom I received divine guidance to leave my husband and go traveling the world eating amazing food. But sadly, it wasn’t quite that profound.

It was more a long series of nights sobbing in the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror, and concluding “You’re broken.”

I wasn’t depressed and hadn’t been for a long time. My anxiety, a lifelong companion, was under control. …

How to Push Through Phases of Uncertainty

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“I beg you, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke

I once trekked on my own along the Salkantay Trail …

How to Tackle Fear and Anxiety Cognitively, Behaviorally, and Spiritually

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“The beautiful thing about fear is that when you run to it, it runs away.” ~Robin Sharma

During my first-grade choir concert, my classmate, Meg, fainted from the top row of the bleachers, and in a subconscious gesture of empathy, I went down right after her, breaking my glasses and flailing on the gymnasium floor.

It’s possible that this triggered some kind of coping mechanism in my brain, because I started fainting again and again.

One time I fainted at the dentist’s office—immediately after the dentist injected me with my first round of Novocain—then months later in a hospital parking …

How to Keep Going When Doubts and Fears are Holding You Back

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“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” ~Vincent Van Gogh

I don’t think there is anything more liberating.

At least nothing I’ve experienced at this point in my life.

I’m sure it’s happened to some of you. Probably more times than you can count.

The freedom I’m alluding to here is the moment when you do something that a part of your mind didn’t believe was possible.

Interestingly, the word ecstasy comes from the Greek ekastis, meaning “to step outside of oneself.”

And when …

How to Love Yourself into Speaking Up When You’re Frozen in Fear

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“Always speak the truth, even if your voice shakes.” ~Unknown

You may not want to admit this to others, but I know the truth about you.

You freeze, clam up, and shut down when tensions rise and your spidey-sense detects a hint of conflict in the air. You run for cover during the storm, and when it’s over, you judge yourself for not having delivered the perfect soliloquy in the heat of the moment to convey your point and get what you need and deserve.

And then you collapse into a hot mess of blame and shame.

I get it. …