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Posts tagged with “Love”

Loving Your Whole Body, Even the Jiggly Parts

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“When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” ~Miguel Ruiz

When I was in fifth grade, the boy who shared the desk next to me said that I had a “roller coaster nose.”

At that age when things were starting to sprout from places I didn’t know things could sprout, and everyone’s watching each other develop under the microscope of pre-pubescent angst, that little comment sent me into a 10-year-old tailspin.

I would spend hours examining my nose from every angle in the mirror, only to affirm that indeed …

Feeling Gratitude for All the People We Sleep With

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“We are all connected in ways we cannot even begin to fathom. Our lives unfold through each other and within each other.” ~David Rhodes

I can’t help myself—I love sleeping with people.

The more the better!

There’s nothing like crawling between the sheets with a lot of people. Female. Male. An armload of ethnicities. It’s all good!

Hey, don’t look at me like I should be ashamed of myself, because I’m not!

Besides, I know you do it, too.  And you probably love it just as much as I do.

You think you know what I’m talking about, but I …

How We Judge Others Is How We Judge Ourselves

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“Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest.” ~Sri Chinmoy

Oh yeah, this has been a big one for me. Huge.

I’ve had a long, tedious journey toward recognizing that many of my thoughts were based in judgments of others. I didn’t realize it for years.

I used to think I had strong opinions, was decisive, and able to “evaluate” others. I “got” people. I understood where they were coming from, their motivations, and why they said what they said and did what they did.

I was a highly skilled …

5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship

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“Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else’s.” ~Billy Wilder

I’ve had my share of toxic relationships. Is it fair to say you have too? My guess is that we’ve all endured the company of people who weren’t rooting for our highest good.

As for me, the relationships that were the most debilitating and unhealthy gave me the feeling that I wasn’t taking care of myself spiritually, mentally, or physically.

I felt like less than myself, like I was compromising my life goals with each second I stayed around those people. Mind …

4 Lessons About Love and Long-Distance Relationships

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“Distance means so little when someone means so much.” ~Unknown

People tend to think long-distance relationships are one of the hardest possible ways of loving someone. I live in one: As a young European, I am deeply in love with my African boyfriend who pursues his career in Asia.

I met my love about two years ago. After dating for a few months and sharing a wonderful time in an Asian country, we split up, as he had many doubts about things that seemed to separate us. At this point in time, our differences seemed to be too wide to …

Reaching Out for Help When The Road Gets Rough

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“Pain is not a sign of weakness, but bearing it alone is a choice to grow weak.” ~Lori Deschene

There was a time in my life when I struggled to share my pain. I actually took great pride in how stubborn I had become. It wasn’t until I started looking within myself that these prideful attitudes started to shift. Actually, my whole life started to change.

Once I started my journey of self-discovery, I no longer wanted to deal with my pain by myself. I slowly reached out to others and asked them for help.

It was in …

5 Ways to Validate Yourself: Be Part of Your Support System

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“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~Louise L. Hay

We all have techniques we depend on to lift our spirits when we’re feeling down about ourselves or our lives.

A while back I realized something about the ones I’d found most effective when struggling to forgive or accept myself: Many of them involved seeking validation from other people.

Some of my most effective mood-boosters included:

  • Reading emails from readers who’d benefitted from my writing
  • Calling loved ones and reminding myself of how much they valued me
  • Sharing
…

6 Ways to Deepen Your Compassion to Help People Who Are Hurting

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“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.” ~Dalai Lama

I thought I understood compassion. Having spent ten years of my life training to be a psychiatrist, I knew how to define it, describe it, and think about it. I thought I got it.

A few years ago, my brother was diagnosed with a serious mental illness. Being the mental health professional of the family, I took a long break to be with him as he navigated the initial stages of treatment.

This experience taught me that compassion is more than being nice to someone …

How Fear Can Deepen Joy and Love If We Let It

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“Fear has its use but cowardice has none.” ~Gandhi

On Monday, my boyfriend and I took a ferry to Catalina Island, where we planned to spend the night.

I knew the island would be quaint and charming, which was a big part of its appeal, but I was mostly looking forward to breathing in the salty ocean air.

From vacations enjoyed with beachside lounging, to summer days spent running along the shore, some of my favorite memories involve the hypnotic lilt of crashing waves.

We hightailed it to the upper deck as soon as we dropped our bags, allowing ourselves …

Dealing with Conflict: Speak Up Before You Blow Up

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“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

“I aim to please. It’s okay, no worries. Please don’t worry, its no big deal.” These are some things I’ve said when interacting with others. The truth was that it wasn’t okay, and it was inconveniencing me.

I could never voice this to people. What if they didn’t like me? Growing up I learned to be polite and to respect my elders, so I considered it rude to tell someone that what they are asking for …

Choose Love Now

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“Eventually you will come to realize that love heals everything, and love is all there is.” ~Gary Zukav

Growing up, I was lucky that my parents surrounded me with a strong and steady current of love, despite our family’s own little dysfunctions and a knowingness that I wasn’t like other kids.

In truth, once I got past my shyness, I was a pretty confident young girl who actually enjoyed being the “different” one, immersing myself in the creative outlet of dance and soothing my soul with frequent trips into nature.

Broken Bits

It wasn’t until I fell in love with …

Coming Home to Our Light by Embracing the Dark

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“Turn you face toward the sun and the shadows will fall behind you.” ~Māori Proverb

I am looking out of the window of the airplane. We are above the clouds; the evening sun is just setting. There is a glow all around me. I am lost in this moment. I feel like I’ve never been closer to the heavens. I can stay here in these clouds forever. I am at peace.

I am returning from my first trip to Jamaica.

I went to this island paradise on what was supposed to be a fun, party trip. Yes I had fun …

Be Gentle with Yourself When Dealing with Heartbreak

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“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.” ~Unknown

I’m sitting in the nail salon near my apartment, perusing Vogue and making small talk with the woman who is cradling my hand and filing my nails. We’re catching up on our lives; I tell her I’ve been in Phoenix for the month. She nods and, in broken English, inquires about him.

I’d like to say my subsequent tears are a rarity, but lately, they seem to have a mind of their own.

I sit across from my best …

Do You Judge the Person You Used to Be?

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“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” ~Mother Theresa

It was the second time I’d gone out to lunch with a new friend I met through this site.

We’d experienced some of the same things in life, and I instantly admired her attitude and perspective.

Sometimes when I meet up with people I’ve met through Tiny Buddha, I feel a sense of inner conflict. One the one hand, I want to live up to everything I imagine they expect of me.

I want to be positive, present, and upbeat—all qualities I aspire to embody in my …

Learning to Stop Clinging to People: Know That You Are Loved

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“As long as you make an identity for yourself out of pain, you cannot be free of it.”   ~Eckhart Tolle

I have a heart condition. Not one that you could see on an x-ray, or even one that you would find in a medical textbook.

For as long as I can remember, I have felt like my heart has had a gaping hole in it—and I’ve been stuffing anyone, anything into that space to try and feel a little less empty. A little less alone.

The first day of my freshman year, I met a girl.

We spent the rest …

Developing Self-Compassion & Learning to Be Nicer to Ourselves

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“Be gentle first with yourself if you wish to be gentle with others.” ~Lama Yeshe

Several months ago, I sat in a large workshop audience being led by Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research.

She directed us to divide up into pairs for a self-compassion exercise. I turned to the young woman next to me. We introduced ourselves and returned our attention to Kristin.

Following her instructions, my partner closed her eyes while I sat looking at her. Kristin led those of us with open eyes through a loving-kindness meditation that was directed at our …

Small Acts of Love and Compassion Can Change the World

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“All great changes are preceded by chaos.” ~Deepak Chopra

We live in an eternally pregnant present, full of possibilities for a bright future. I believe it has always been that way throughout the history of the world. That’s just how the universe works. Unfortunately, we haven’t always experienced our lives the way the universe intended, especially right now.

Humanity seems to be forever in a time of chaos, marked by violence against one another, and most of us do not know how we got that way or when it will end.

I admit that sometimes I long for the good …

How to Create Emotional Freedom by Setting Healthy Boundaries

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“I’ve discovered that you can’t change people. They can change themselves.” ~Jim Rohn

 “As much I want you to be happy, I’m realizing that I can’t be responsible for your happiness.”

I had never spoken truer words in my life. Even as the tears flowed down my cheeks, I felt a profound sense of freedom and lightness.

My mother suffers from major depressive disorder. For much of my life I truly believed that there was something I could do to bring her out of it. I tried to be the perfect daughter. I minimized my own emotional presence. I did …

How to Overcome Passive Aggression: Meet Your Needs by Communicating Clearly

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A couple of weeks ago, while reading a post on a different personal development site, I found a comment from a reader who seemed to question the blogger’s intentions and integrity, as it pertains to how he does business.

This reader was direct. She didn’t beat around the bush; she came right out and communicated how she felt. For this reason, and because the comment was based in assumptions, it read as somewhat harsh and judgmental.

Another reader responded to that comment, starting with something along the lines of, “Wow, now isn’t this a wonderful learning opportunity for both of …

Respond Instead of Reacting: Speak Your Truth, Not Your Fears

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“Speak when you are angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” ~Laurence J. Peter

Finances, relationships, responsibilities, and life in general can certainly create a great deal of noise in our heads. However, if we truly want to feel inner peace, we must take the time to learn to be mindful instead of mind full. This, and only this, will allow us to respond to life instead of reacting to it.

I have tons of happy memories from my childhood and a few harsh ones too. Unfortunately, the harsh memories are those that we replay over and …