Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Marilyn Briant

“Peace of mind is not the absence of conflict from life, but the ability to cope with it.” ~Unknown

Like many people, I lived my life for a lot of years failing to understand inner peace is a choice. I am not sure what I thought. Perhaps I didn’t believe anyone could feel a lasting peace inside. I did know that my own feelings of peace were always transitory.

There were many ups and downs in my life, too many claims on my time and too many difficult situations to be dealt with. I think I actually believed inner peace could only be achieved by monks and saints, or anyone living a reclusive life who didn’t have to deal with everyday struggles.

I was stuck in a world of confusion, wondering how peace could be mine when there was always something, some drama going on in my own life or the lives of those I loved.

In fact, it seemed to me that the whole world was filled with stuff, negative stuff mostly, which I read about in the newspaper, saw on the television, or heard from someone I knew.

It was the kind of stuff that pulls at your emotions—the breaking news story of a missing woman being found murdered, the tragedy of a child being killed by a hit and run driver, the numbers of homeless people tripling, and a devastating Tsunami killing thousands and paralyzing a country.

Then there were the stories closer to home—my friend’s husband being diagnosed with cancer and dying three months later, my father suffering from dementia, my best friend’s marriage falling apart—all tearing at my heart and leaving me hurt and grieving.

In my own personal life too, my emotions dipped and peaked along with how much control I felt I had over my own happiness. I literally felt like a puppet on a string, and asked myself over and over again, “How can I feel a constant inner peace in my heart and life, when my emotions see-saw up and down according to what is happening in and around me?”

Looking back I know I believed that my emotions were important. After all wasn’t being emotional an essential part of being alive? Emotions made me feel real and allowed me to extend empathy to everyone else.

But in the deepest part of myself, I did not feel good most of the time. I longed to not be so emotional. I wanted to be released from all the conflict in my life—to not react to other people’s words and anger—to feel serenity in my heart.

It was an almost desperate need to alter or to stop the negative cycle of events which seemed to dominate my relationships and my life.

I believe it was that intention which kept on surfacing in my mind and in my heart that fueled my spiritual search and led me to discover a more peaceful way to live, despite the conflict in my life. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Justin W. Riggs

“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” ~Gandhi

It was 1999, and my life stunk. I had failed miserably as a missionary for my church, I’d been sent to a mental hospital and diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and I was in the process of losing the woman I thought I was going to marry.

I was in bad shape, and didn’t have a clue as to how I could right the ship, so to speak.

Now, 13 years later, I have a great job that provides for me and my family. I have a beautiful wife, two lovely children (with another on the way!), and plenty of free time to pursue the hobbies I enjoy. I have a roof over my head, food to eat, and thanks to a few tiny little pills I take every day I also enjoy good physical and mental health.

I don’t want to leave you with the impression that everything changed completely overnight. It didn’t.

To deal with the loss of my girlfriend I did some therapy; I put myself back on the market and did a lot of dating; I consciously chose to let go of what I thought should happen, and accept what had happened. Slowly I healed, until one day I realized that I was open to loving fully again.

Dealing with my mental illness is a challenge that continues to this day. I’ve put in place the foundation for good mental health by accepting the fact that I will need to be medicated for the rest of my life.

After making that choice there has still been an endless parade of medications as we try to find the right cocktail for me. And even with the medications, I still have good times and bad. The medication, I’ve found, is a tool, and not a panacea.

Making these outward choices has really helped, but there is one thing that really changed everything for me: I changed my attitude.

What caused that change? I read a book called Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl.

Frankl was a neurologist and psychiatrist who was imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp during World War II. He was forced to work as a slave laborer and watch as many of his peers died slow and miserable deaths.

He was separated from his own wife, mother, and father, and lost them all before the war ended. But what did Frankl learn from his time in the concentration camp? Here’s what he had to say:

“Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances…”

When I read those words, something clicked inside of me. I intuitively knew that they were true, and I knew that I needed to learn how to give myself an attitude adjustment if I wanted to have any measure of peace in this world. So I began to study. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Madison Sonnier

“Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed.” ~ Buddha

I am a very emotional person. I suspect I feel things about ten times more intensely than the average person.

When I’m sad, I’m really sad. When I’m stressed, I’m really stressed. When I’m nervous, I’m really nervous.

Some people would call it being dramatic. I simply call it a genuine aspect of my personality.

I’ve noticed that I have this awful habit of masking how I truly feel or forcing myself to feel differently. It seems as if I constantly have to remind myself that I am a human being and that it’s okay to feel bad sometimes. No one is a positive ray of sunshine every second of every day.

We all want to feel good and happy. When something is upsetting us, all we want is to feel better as soon as possible. But I’ve slowly learned that trying to convince yourself that you’re fine when you’re not will only make you feel worse.  

Whenever I go through some sort of fallout, whether it’s with a friend or a love interest, I immediately cover the wound by telling myself that I’m over that person and they mean nothing to me anymore. I just smile and tell everyone I’m over it and then cry in the bathroom after dinner.

Also, when I went through a phase of feeling depressed and lonely all the time, I would fake smiles and assure everyone, including myself that I was perfectly fine.

I would honestly tell myself to stop being so pathetic and dramatic and that I had no reason to be under such a large, black cloud all the time. I shoved my feelings away and never opened myself up to talk about anything.

The same thing tends to happen even if I’m feeling a positive emotion. There have been times where I’ve felt happy, but let negative people put a damper on my spirit. I would hold back my optimism whenever I was around them.

Sometimes, people will tear you down when you’re happy or make you feel like you don’t deserve to be happy. It makes you feel as if being happy is wrong or offensive.

I often tell myself that what I’m feeling is irrational or stupid. I feel obligated to pretend that I’m stronger and happier than I actually am, even when I’m not. It is extremely rare for me to ever sit down and openly talk about my real feelings.

I always smother or bottle everything up and it’s not healthy.   Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Lauren Stewart

“Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy the thorn bush has roses.” ~Proverb

We all complain. Even if you argue that you are the happiest person in the world, you still complain sometimes.

Sometimes we complain without even realizing it, but rarely is it ever helpful. Sure, a common complaint can bond two people who may have nothing in common, but too much complaining would just break down the relationship.

For example, I once had a friend who constantly griped about her health, her family, her relationships, school, and the list goes on. Every time I hung out with her I felt drained afterward.

No matter what I said or did, it never seemed to cheer her up. There is no arguing that she was going through a tough time, but her negative attitude certainly made matters worse. Eventually we grew apart because it was more than I could handle at the time.

So what happens if you are the one stuck in the negative attitude? We’ve all been there. I know I sure have. There are days when everything seems to go wrong and complaining is the easiest thing to do.

It’s easier to complain instead of fixing a problem, like quitting a job or having a talk with someone. But I find that when you put your mind toward a more positive outlook and force yourself to end complaining, it is possible!

Here are some tips to stop complaining and ditch the negative thoughts to focus on finding solutions: Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Lynn Zavaro

“The outer teacher is merely a milestone. It is only your inner teacher that will walk with you to the goal, for he is the goal.” ~Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Recently, I had a very bad day. It was a day when certain life events made me so scared, so panicked I felt like I was floating in a dark void with no connection to anyone or anything, certainly not myself.

It wasn’t one bad thing that happened, just an accumulation of family stresses, worries, questions, uncertainty, and self-doubt that flooded my spirit. I had been going-going for many days and lost touch with myself and it caught up with me—just like that. It spun me right off my center.

Although I know as humans we are imperfect, I judged myself as a fraud.

I’ve devoted myself to my inner-work for decades. I have a counseling psychology degree, published a self-help book and card deck set, and write articles with lessons about being peaceful, content, and happy.

But on this day, I needed to figure out how to help myself.

I tried to remember the amount of teachings spiritual, psychological, and creative I have collected in my toolbox over the many years.

I thought about the great teachers of the world that offer incredible valuable assistance to one’s growth and discovery. And remembered that without the application of the teachings, we remain a head full of knowledge rather than a being who is at peace and free.

I needed to be my own teacher in the moment, but I felt so weak and vulnerable I couldn’t connect to any of the teachings. This was a red flag of an emergency for me.

Lying on my bed in a temporary freeze, I thought about common emergency instructions we are given in case of disaster. The building’s sign: “In case of fire, take the stairs not the elevator.” The flight attendants: “Cover your own mouth first, then your child’s.” When a tsunami hits: “Run to higher ground.” The tornado: “Open the windows so that they will not shatter” or “Go to the nearest shelter” Even for the addict, “Pick up the phone and call your sponsor.” Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Kevin Tyler Smith

“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~ Mary Engelbreit

About 10 years ago, I started on a journey any college dropout would embark on to quell the little voices in my head that said, “If you want to be happy, earn good money, and validate your choice of quitting college, you better get moving.”

This epiphany fueled my mission. What was my mission of choice?

Get rich quick schemes. The guy on the TV said it would work so it must be legitimate, right? Needless to say, I dangerously careened out of control in the years to follow with each scheme I bought into.

At rock bottom and nearly bankrupt, I did some serious soul searching sprinkled with a little counseling. I learned I was correlating my level of life satisfaction with the size of my bank account.

At that time, I was not happy with my meager vocation or the person I had become. The wealthy, extraordinary life I longed for was vanishing further out of reach with each passing year.

I didn’t realize it, but I was searching for something I already had. Cloaked before me, right within my immediate reach was a beautiful life worth living. All I had to do was open my eyes and change my perspective.

Change Your Perspective

Maybe you feel like the fire is gone and there’s just nothing exciting in your life. Maybe you’re just plain disheartened with who you have become and the life you are living.

No matter how discontent you might feel, know it’s only temporary. You can choose to change that feeling if you lift your veil of dismay and aim to create clarity about your life and what matters. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Sirena Bernal

“The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.” ~Swedish Proverb

Mantra, according to the dictionary:

Any sacred word or syllable used as an object of concentration and embodying some aspect of spiritual power.

Mantra, according to Sirena:

Things I say to myself to help me deal.

There are times we all go through that just straight up suck.

During these times, it can be hard to think about anything other than what’s going on. We can become so consumed in our own misery that we often overshadow any glimmer of hope.

And although these times can seem endless while we’re in them, it’s through these crappy times that we learn the most about ourselves and receive some of life’s greatest rewards.

I can only say this after going through some of my own crappy times. You know, experiencing little things like breaking up from an engagement, being unemployed, questioning my sexuality, severing several friendships, wiping through my entire savings, and accumulating way too much debt.

All within the same year.

Yikes.

Through my own experiences of hopelessness, confusion, and doubt, I’ve learned to establish a few simple, but very effective phrases to help me stay positive and to keep things in perspective.

So now, whenever things cross my path that may initially seem unbearable, or if I begin to doubt myself, I just remember and repeat some of the following mantras: Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Declan O’Flaherty

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

For years I lived an uneventful existence. I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t unhappy either. I was just sort of stuck.

I had a good career, earned lots of money, and I had great friends and a loving family. You would think that this doesn’t sound too bad, but I felt unfulfilled and unmotivated. I repeatedly lived each day like the one before.

I looked around me and saw that everybody within my own circle of friends, relatives, and immediate family were no different. They too seemed stuck. They seemed unmotivated—like they were living their lives on automatic pilot.

I began to question why this was. Why do so many people just accept this pattern as normal, as if this is the way it is supposed to be?

I read hundreds of books on philosophy, psychology, and spirituality. I continued with this for a couple of years until I gradually I began to see things with greater clarity. I began to wake up. Then one day, out of the blue it just hit me, like a ton of bricks.

The key to unlocking my prison door was not contained in any books I read (although they did help me somewhat). It was in my ability to accept what “is” in this moment. So I now I make that choice.

Here are 8 tips to help you make that choice:

1. Remember that you are powerful.

Most of the time we have no idea what we are supposed to be doing, or who we are supposed to be imitating. I say “imitating” because this is what we do: We conform to the external environment. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Kathryn Britt

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha

I used to teach Adult Upgrading. My students were people who had never completed grade school and/or high school. For a variety of reasons, they were now ready to try it again.

New students would say, “I wasn’t ever any good at school.” “I can’t do math.” “I hate fractions.”

It’s my belief that our self-talk is programming ourselves for our statements to be true.

Those students thought they’d been stating the facts, not revealing programmed beliefs.

My work was less about teaching math than it was about coaching them toward a change in their beliefs about themselves.

“I never again want to hear you say you’re not good at math,” I’d say. I’d ask them to switch to “I’m learning math” or “I’m getting better at math” or “I’m working on fractions.”

I’d help them start to notice their own negative self-talk and then transform it into positive statements. “Sure it sounds weird. So humor me,” I’d have to say. “Yes, I know it doesn’t feel like it’s true. Not yet, anyway.” They’d roll their eyes at me.

I’ve read that schools teach fractions before many of our brains are developmentally ready to cope at that conceptual level. I believe this, because I’ve met so many people whose problems in school began around the time fractions were introduced.

Children’s developing self-images are vulnerable. Once children begin to feel stupid about a school subject, the negative self-talk begins. It soon defeats their egos along with their will to learn. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

When I was 24 years old, I learned that some dreams are actually avoidance tactics, and some discouragement is a very good thing.

I was relatively new in New York City, and I felt overwhelmed by the prospect of failing if I tried to pursue my passions. I’d learned a lot about failure in the six years prior, and the only thing I knew for certain anymore was that I had to become someone important.

When I arrived at my interview for marketing job—as it was so descriptively advertised on Craigslist—I was surprised to find a room full of people and a whiteboard that read, “Who wants to work smarter, not harder and earn six figures?”

I did!

If I had the money, I reasoned, I’d have the freedom to do whatever I want with my life. The money was a smart dream. It was the path to everything and anything.

A 22-year old girl named *Aida led us through a 45-minute presentation. She told us how she recently bought her own home while helping other people find financial freedom, too.

That’s where we came in. We would sell phone and internet packages to our friends and family members, and recruit other people who wanted to do the same thing.

Every time we made a sale, we got paid. Every time those other people made a sale, we got paid. Every time the people they recruited made a sale, we got paid. And it only cost $499 to get involved.

That’s where she started to lose me. What kind of company asks you to pay them $500 to make sales for them? She told me that it cost because it was our own business—our investment, our tax deductions at the end of the year, and our profits.

I was skeptical, but I wanted to believe in the possibility of achieving massive success so that I could eventually do something big—and I loved the idea of helping other people along the way. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Erin Lanahan

“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.” -Lao Tzu

In my quest for personal development, I’ve done a ton of processing, meditating, reading, praying, exercising, eating well, and helping other people. All of these things are amazing, and I still do them regularly, but none of it matters if I don’t guard my thoughts as though my life depends on it.

The quality of my life literally depends on my thoughts.

I never thought of myself as a negative person, and most people who know me will tell you I’m a bubbly, outgoing, super positive individual.

This is definitely the version of me that shows up in the outside world, and this is absolutely who I want to be. However, when I am under the spell of my “stinking thinking” I don’t feel so good and happy. I also begin to experience circumstances that are most certainly not what I want.

One thing that’s been really difficult for me is recognizing when I’m thinking negative thoughts. More often than not, they’re totally subconscious thought patterns playing themselves out over and over again, and kicking my butt in the process.

I’ve decided that most of the time, it really doesn’t matter what these subconscious patterns are. What’s important is to shift my thinking immediately, using my feelings and mood as cues.

By staying dedicated, loyal, and committed to positive thinking, I’m able to stay in alignment with the life my heart desires. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a guest contribution by Scott Dinsmore of Reading For Your Success.

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”~Dalai Lama

Some days I wake up with rocket fuel in my veins, ready to take the day by storm. Happiness comes totally natural. But on others it can feel like I have lead weights strapped to my shoes.

Have you ever been there?

We all have.

Happiness is a practice. It’s on us to learn it.

While some days are easier to find a smile than others, happiness is a daily choice. It’s a mindset we can nurture and train. That doesn’t mean it’s there every second, but when you notice it’s missing often the tiniest shift can put you right back on top of the world.

Life will constantly test your ability to make a lemon martini out of the sourest of lemons. So be ready. Here’s your guide.

I know that some of the below sound pretty common sense. Unfortunately common sense is not always common practice. This stuff works. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

“The way to gain a good reputation, is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear.” ~Socrates

When I started Tiny Buddha, my main goal was to make a positive difference. I think that’s true for a lot of us.

I’ve stumbled upon countless blog and books written by people who say their purpose in life is to help people. (And sometimes to help people find their purpose—which is oftentimes also to help people.)

I suspect it’s how most of us infuse our lives with meaning: trying to somehow leave the world a better place than we found it.

I recently read a somewhat old blog post by ex-Microsoft employee Scott Berkun that got me thinking about this collective fascination with making a difference in the world. He wrote:

“We rarely need big things. As soon as someone starts talking about changing the world or radically reinventing something odds are good he’s talking from his ego, not his heart. Unless he’s working on bringing safety to the scared, health to the sick, or opportunity to the poor, the reinvention serves a want (or an ego), not a need.”

He went to explain how on his last day at Microsoft, he gave a lecture and one of his colleagues thanked him for the first time, saying he’d never expressed his admiration before because he assumed it was apparent. According to Scott:

“…it takes a better man to acknowledge goodness in others than it does to merely be good oneself. Anyone can criticize or accept praise, but initiating a positive exchange is a hallmark of a difference maker.”

What a beautiful idea. I couldn’t agree more. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

Some mornings I open my eyes and immediately start thinking about everything I have to do. I don’t notice the sun shining through my blinds.

I don’t imagine all the things that could go right in my day, as Srinivas Rao suggested in the awesome guest post How to Wake up Every Morning on Top of the World.

Instead I immediately hone in on my to-do list and all the mini fires I plan to avoid.

On those days when my mind goes into to defensive pessimism mode—conjuring up everything that could go wrong and creating plans to circumvent those things—it feels imperative to go on that way. Like the stressing and plotting somehow gives me more control over the day ahead.

The irony is that while this type of thinking does nothing to avoid chaos and struggle, which are both inevitable, at least on some level, it actually creates the type of situations I’d prefer to dodge.

A busy, cynical mind is more apt to find problems than solutions.

Since I’ve been meditating in the morning again, I’ve been starting the day on a much more positive note. But I am by no means perfect, and some days I still expect the worst instead of creating the best.

So I’ve started focusing on all the little things that usually go right instead of the big things that could go wrong.

The reality is things could go wrong later, even if I start the day whistling over breakfast while birds and bunnies hover around my patio bistro set. Being positive isn’t a safeguard against the unknown.

It is, however, one of the best ways to fully enjoy the moment and create the next one from a place of peace and empowerment.

With that in mind, I’ve created this list of things that we often take for granted. When you start thinking about everything you can’t control, it’s helpful to remember and appreciate all the little things that work in your favor most days. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

“Don’t wait for people to be friendly. Show them how.” ~Unknown

When I was a teenager—right around the time I knew everything—my mother used to tell me I only remembered the bad things.

When I told stories about my family, they didn’t revolve around family beach trips, barbecues, and vacations; the focused on my parents’ fights and all the ways they “ruined my life.”

The same applied to friends and milestones in my life. I chronically remembered and rehashed the worst experiences.

In fact, straight through college I followed up every introductory handshake with a dramatic retelling of my life story, focusing on a laundry list of grievances about people who had done me wrong.

It was as if I was competing for most royally screwed over in life, like there was some kind of prize for being the most tragic and victimized. (Full disclosure: I hoped that prize was compassion cum unconditional love. It was more like discomfort and avoidance).

Not everyone is as negative or needy as woe-is-me-younger Lori was, but I’ve noticed that many of us have something in common with my misguided past self: we focus on how we’ve been hurt far more than how we’ve been helped.

Psychologists suggest that to some degree we complain because we’re looking to connect with people who can relate to the universal struggles we all face (though in some cases, complaining is a constructive way to find solutions to problems as opposed to a chronic need to vent negativity). I think there’s more to it, though.

When we complain about everything that’s gone wrong, or everyone who has done us wrong, we’re drowning in our self-involvement. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

“Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest.” ~Sri Chinmoy

I love her to death, but it’s draining to talk to her.

Every time I call this friend of mine, I know what I’m in for: a half-hour rant about everything that’s difficult, miserable or unfair.

Sometimes she focuses on the people she feels have wronged her and other times she explores the general hopelessness of life. She never calls to see how I’m doing, and she rarely listens to what’s going on in my life for more than a minute before shifting the focus back to herself.

I tell myself I call because I care, but sometimes I wonder if I have ulterior motives–to pump up my ego offering good advice, or even to feel better about my own reality.

I’m no saint, and if there’s one thing I know well, we only do things repeatedly if we believe there’s something in it for us. Even if that something is just to feel needed.

I thought about this the other day when a reader wrote to me with an interesting question: “How do you offer compassion to someone who doesn’t seem to deserve it?”

While I believe everyone deserves compassion, I understand what we meant after reading more. She went on to describe her offensive, sexist, racist boss who emotionally exhausts everyone around him. He sounds a lot more hateful than my friend, who is, sadly, just terribly depressed.

But these people have one thing in common: boundless negative energy that ends up affecting everyone around them. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

“Every new day is another chance to change your life.” ~Unknown

You know the moment. It happens right after you realize you did something you wish you didn’t. Maybe you broke someone’s trust and now the guilt is overwhelming you. Maybe you compromised your job in some way and now you’re terrified your world will come crashing down.

Regardless of what you did, you can feel your anxiety like a stack of red hot bowling balls surgically implanted in your stomach. (Dramatic? Yes. Regret is rarely reasonable.)

It’s that dreaded good God, oh no, what was I thinking, why me moment when you think one of two things:

• I did something I shouldn’t have and I might not be able to fix it.
• I did something I shouldn’t have so I’m going to lose something important.

Both of those things might be true. In fact, they often are. Actions do have consequences. We do lose things—all through life. Nothing is permanent, not even the most secure relationship. But none of this has to be catastrophic.

Sometimes losing one thing opens you up to something else. It might be a lesson that helps you be more effective and happier in the future, or it could be a new possibility you never even thought to seek (like that dream you put off to work the job you just lost).

Or maybe it won’t benefit you in any discernible way right away—let’s call a spade a spade. Maybe you’ll wish you went a different way, grieve what you lost, and then eventually let it go and move on.

The point is you will eventually let go and move on. And because you’re a strong, smart, capable person, you’ll find ways to make this new direction meaningful for you. To make up for what you lost by gaining something equally important in the aftermath, whether it’s a new understanding of your strengths, a new idea of who you want to be, or a new opportunity to try again a little wiser. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

“Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day.”  ~Unknown

Contrary to popular belief, even positive people get in bad moods.

Maybe you didn’t get enough sleep last night. Or you feel overworked and overwhelmed. Or perhaps something happened, and you keep dwelling on it. Going over and over in your head how you froze up in a meeting, or spoke too aggressively to someone you love.

Whatever the case may be, you feel something you don’t want to, and you’re not sure how to change it. You just know you need to do something before acting on that feeling.

The reality is you don’t have to act on everything you feel. Still, emotional responses happen so quickly that it becomes challenging to put space between feeling and doing.

It may seem like the answer is to stop responding to life emotionally, but that’s just not realistic. Paul Ekman, one of the foremost researchers on emotion, suggests it’s near impossible to bypass an emotional response because of the way our brains are set up.

Perhaps the best goal is to identify negative feelings quickly and improve your state of mind instead of responding to feelings with more feelings. Odds are if you choose the latter, you’ll do something you’ll regret later.

I’ve come up with 10 ways to overcome a negative state of mind: Click Here to Read More…

by Trevor Smith

Hey, I know you’re busy. Aren’t we all? But it’s time you did yourself a favor. Investing in yourself is a surefire way to give your mind a growth spurt without any stretch marks.

Take a week to reinvent your mindset. Each of these steps requires minimal effort but yield maximum reward. What are you waiting for? Let’s do this.

This “cleanse” is laid out over the course of a week, but you don’t have to follow each day in any particular order. Tailor each challenge to a specific day that works best for your schedule. After all, what good is a program you can’t stick to? No good, Charlie. No good.

Day 1: Take a walk and be unreachable.

Turn off your phone and go for a 30 minute walk. There’s something to be said about being completely unreachable. Who’s to say that we’re available whenever someone needs us? You are. Like the rest of us, you probably carry a cell phone.

That means that anyone in the known universe can dial your number and interrupt whatever you’re doing. Important or not, it’s your life. Remember the scene in Rocky when Adrian asks to use his phone? Rocky doesn’t have a phone. “Yo. Who needs the interruption?”

Take a stand and shut off the world for a half-hour. Walk around the block and resist the urge to see what’s new on Twitter. Your Facebook status doesn’t matter right now. Walk around the block and enjoy being at the mercy of Mother Nature.

Remember, you’re not doing this to ignore someone, but to embrace no-one. If it doesn’t leave you feeling refreshed and empowered, at least you got some fresh air. Click Here to Read More…