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Learn to Love Yourself by Doing Something Good for Yourself

TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of sexual abuse and may be triggering to some people.

“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” ~BrenéBrown 

I was happiest when I didn’t know my weight, and that was ironically when I was at my heaviest, which was in high school.

I was slow to take on the self-loathing and body image issues that plague so many young kids. I rarely felt bad about myself, partly because I had a loving family and a …

More Is Not Always Better: Being Grateful for What Is

“It is not joy that makes us grateful. It is gratitude that makes us joyful.” ~David Rast

Every New Years Eve I make a list of resolutions that I never keep up with and it just makes me feel guilty every time I don’t. Lose ten pounds, get more involved, go to the gym, develop better relationships.

Every year I aspire to be more, do more, get more, never living within the present moment.

My stress to do more comes into play in every aspect of my life. The stress of joining more clubs comes from the competitive environment of …

60 Things to Be Grateful For In Life

“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.” ~Cynthia Ozick

How often do you pause to appreciate what you have in life?

When I was young, I took things for granted. I believe many other kids did so, as well. After all, we were young and we didn’t know what life could be like on the other side.

One thing we took for granted was education. In my country, it’s compulsory for all kids to go to school, so it was a given. We never thought about how lucky we were to be educated.…

Using Your Monkey Mind to Redirect Negative Thoughts

“I know but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I grew up in what I like to call The Box of Daughter: a rigid structure of rules about values, beliefs, thinking, feeling, and behaving, set forth for me by super-religious parents who grew up in boxes of their own.

For a large part of my life, my thinking bounced around within the confines of that box—worrying the old worries, thinking the old thoughts, feeling the old pain, and acting out pretty much the same compulsions time after time—stuck in ever-repeating loops of monkey …

Now is Not Forever: Weathering Uncomfortable Feelings

“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” ~Alan Watts

I recently found myself ruminating about a difficult situation at my new workplace. Considering my high-flying, achievement-oriented personality, the recipe for my malcontent was predictable: A supervisor had disagreed with me, and I left work that day feeling melodramatic and like I wanted to quit… that day.

I thought, “I am so misunderstood. No one ‘gets’ what I am doing. I am not cut out for teamwork. Why do I hate working so much? I thought …

How to Get to the Shore When You’re Drowning in Pain

“The intensity of the pain depends on the degree of resistance to the present moment.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Pain can feel like a dark cave with no light to help us find our way out. Or an ocean with waves so big we feel like we can’t ever swim to the shore. Peace is the place we arrive at when we swim to the shore, up and out of the pain we were drowning in. But how do we get there?

For most of us, the first thing we do when we’re in pain is look for somebody to join us

Overcoming the Painful Desires and Beliefs That Feed Addiction

“Taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them.” ~Byron Katie

I had spent five horrible years in and out of rehabs and support groups for my substance use problems. Along the way, there were a few periods where I cleaned up for six months, eight months, and almost a whole year one time, but nothing seemed to stick.

The worst part was that even with all of the painful effort it took to keep the drug and alcohol use going, and all of the painful consequences that were piling up, I was happier in …

The Secrets to Happiness: Lessons from a Toddler

“Happiness is the absence of striving for happiness.” ~Chuang Tzu

My niece is nineteen months old and the most present person I have ever hung out with. If you have children or are around them, you know exactly what I am talking about.

I know you want more joy, health, and lasting happiness in your life, we all do.

Could it be that instead of only teaching our children the lessons of life perhaps we should let them teach us the lessons of happiness?

I don’t live in the same city as my niece so time with her is very …

5 Unusual Ways to Meditate for Simple Daily De-stressing

“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” ~Joan Borysenko

Meditating even for just two minutes every day could help reduce your anxiety, calm your mind, and energize the senses. That’s two minutes of your twenty-four hours. Two minutes that could lengthen your life as you get rid of the negative energy surrounding you and welcome the positive.

Contrary to what you may think, meditation doesn’t have to be in an empty house or room overlooking gorgeous scenery. It would be a bonus, yes, but I have proven that you can clear your mind …

Moving Beyond Pain to Find Happiness and Meaning

“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ~ Unknown

Most of us have experienced a day or event in our life that changes us forever.

I remember that day vividly, and it still invokes incredible pain in my heart. It was the middle of the night in February. I was twelve years old, and I awoke to my mother screaming and crying to my brother that our dad was dying. He died in his sleep from a massive heart attack.

I will …

Accepting Imperfection and Making Peace with Our “Piece in Progress”

“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.” ~Unknown

I’m back in New York City after touring for the last five years as a global musical scientist.

My international and domestic sonic experiments took me all over the world to exotic lands and faraway locales.

I climbed the Inca Trail for four days straight while combating altitude sickness, learning how to speak at low capacity oxygen levels (imagine Darth Vader), and hemoglobin adaptation became my mantra.

I also wrote and recorded a number one single in Copenhagen, Denmark. Likewise, I traveled …

Releasing Negative Beliefs: How Letting Go Sets Us Free

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” ~Andre Gide

I have walked on water.

The frozen wasteland known as Chicago had kept me inside, wary of the intense cold that was breaking records that particularly frigid winter. But after interminable snow days, I began to feel like a caged animal that needed to break free.

I woke early one morning, overcome with the urgent need to connect to something living, something wild. I wrapped myself in countless layers like the kid in The Christmas Story and ventured out into the …

Stop Waiting for Tomorrow: 3 Ways to Love Your Life Now

“Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.” ~Paul Coelho

My husband had been unemployed for more than two years before it hit me that I was dealing with it all wrong. During that time, I kept thinking that any day he would find a new job. And every day that went by I was disappointed, frustrated, unhappy, and even angry at times.

For two years I felt like we were in limbo. I was always thinking, “We’ll do this or that after he finds a job.” Everything seemed to be put on …

You’re One Moment Away from Being Who You Want to Be

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” ~Maria Robinson

Two years ago I was in a meeting room, Monday morning, just before nine. I remember sipping on my second coffee of the day and swallowing yawns as I waited for everyone to show.

The chairperson arrived, a particularly intimidating woman who had been with the company for thirty years and held the reigns of both the finance and HR departments. No decision was made without her approval, even if you were the CEO.

I wished her good morning, …

3 Tips to Get Out of Your Head and Start Expressing Yourself

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” ~Bruce Lee

I have always been timid when it comes to expressing myself, speaking my mind, and standing up for something. This stems from being raised in a culture where showing emotions is frowned upon.

Nothing I ever did seemed good enough. There was constant criticism that I could do better, and be better. I was raised to never to talk back to my seniors and not to say anything when I had nothing nice to say.

So …

Avoid the Pain of Emotional Eating and Transform Your Mood

“To ensure good health: eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately, cultivate cheerfulness, and maintain an interest in life.” ~William Londen

In essence, interconnectedness refers to the linkages between all things. Some even take it a step further and say that not only is everything linked, but in actuality, there are no real distinctions between you and me, between thought and behavior, or between past, present, and future.

On the surface, the concept of interconnectedness seems simple—everything is linked to everything else, and everyone is linked to everyone else. However, in practice, applying the concept of interconnectedness to the way I …

3 Self-Honoring Ways to Deal with Low-Energy Days

“Being who you are is another way of accepting yourself.” ~Unknown

A few months ago I woke up with what my good friend and I call “the rage.” I was automatically annoyed by the tone of people’s emails in my inbox. I was frustrated by the lack of response from others. My tea tasted too strong. I felt cooped up in the house. Need I go on?

So I went to the gym to increase my endorphins. I figured that a good workout would be the perfect cure-all.

It wasn’t. I left my HIIT (high intensity interval training) pleasantly exhausted …

Why Fulfillment Comes from Being Yourself, and How to Be Okay with That

“To wish you are someone else is to waste the person you are.”  ~Sven Goran Eriksson

I have been studying business and marketing for quite some time now, watching the most successful men and women very carefully and picking apart how they’ve achieved what they’ve achieved.

I’ve read every book I can get my paws on and thought long and hard about why they have managed it and others just haven’t.

I’ve also seen many businesses and online brands mimicking exactly what those super successful people are doing, and I’ve wondered why they are a mere shadow on the wall …

Making Your Passion Your Career (Despite the Naysayers)

“Don’t let life randomly kick you into the adult you don’t want to become.” ~Chris Hadfield, astronaut

As a kid, you put zero thought into doing what you loved.

You simply played, not knowing that your future self wouldn’t play that much at all. Work was serious business.

When I was in kindergarten, our classroom had a block center, a board game shelf, a home center with dolls and a play stove, a drawing center, and a sand table.

We naturally gravitated to the area that was most fun, with no thought about what would look good on our …

The Real Reason Some People Always Seem to Push Your Buttons

“Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion.” ~Buddha

I always felt invisible whenever my husband and I got together with a certain couple.

Every time we saw them, it triggered feelings of rejection because they would go on and on about themselves and never ask about how I was doing or feeling. I went home feeling ignored and sad every time.

Finally, after putting up with this non-reciprocal relationship for a number of years, I decided that it was best for us to break free from it. 

For the longest time I couldn’t figure …