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How to Know If You’re with the Right Person

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.” ~Walter Anderson

I’m not actually interested in telling you if you’re with the right person. I’m interested in you discovering who you really are. If you’re not in the right relationship, you probably shouldn’t try so hard to make it “work.” Sometimes the right thing to do is walk away.

But the big gap here is in the knowing. The knowing if it’s right or not. The truth is that you don’t actually need somebody …

9 Things to Tell Yourself When You’re Afraid to End a Relationship

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships

“F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours.” ~Zig Ziglar

No matter how old I get, no matter how experienced I become, ending a relationship is agonizing.

It represents a loss, and losses hurt.

Deep down, I know if I go through with it, I’ll feel freer—well, not right away, but in a little while anyway—but I’d rather crawl under a rock and ignore the whole thing.

When I was a teen, I went out with a guy who had a major crush on me, although I wasn’t attracted to him. …

Releasing Labels: Be What You Love, Not What You Do

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” ~Brené Brown

I thought I was supposed to have a shiny job, the kind that makes people envious at cocktail parties.

We had moved with my husband’s job again. I think it was move number six out of nine and we were over at a friend’s house. There were people I didn’t know there, and I could feel myself avoiding them in case they asked “the question.”

The question was “So,” (pause to look at drink), “what do …

6 Things to Do Instead of Comparing Yourself to Others

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Do not judge by appearances; a rich heart may be under a poor coat.” ~Scottish Proverb

I grew up believing I was never enough. Ever. Not when I got all A’s in school. Not when I was in the talented and gifted program. Not when my father made more than enough money for me to buy whatever I wanted.

I became an adult who compared herself to others too, always wondering why I didn’t have what they had or why I wasn’t as pretty or as cool.

I brought this behavior into my relationships and my business. I would get …

70 Ways to Make Others Feel Special

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Be the person that makes others feel special. Be known for your kindness and grace.” ~Unknown

There is someone in my life that has an extraordinary talent for making people feel special. I would call him out by name, but he’s a fairly private person, so we’ll just call him “E.”

It’s not that E makes people feel that they are somehow greater than others. He recognizes what’s special about everyone he encounters, and through his attention, kindness, and generosity, brings out the best in them.

He doesn’t do this through grand gestures, and not with expectations of receiving anything …

Practicing Loving-Kindness Even When (Especially When) You Are Hurting

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.” ~Charles Dickens   

All of us have been hurt or angered by someone’s words at some point. Some words are blatantly cruel, and others are deceptive, appearing to be in our best interest but only ever leading us astray. These are the messages that leave us questioning who we are or how we should be.

I’ve been labeled timid and stuck-up. Speak up more, but stop interrupting. Be more assertive, but don’t complain. Be more outgoing, but be authentic.

I’ve been called …

Transforming Shame Into Love, One Good Deed At A Time

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“No one is useless in the world who lightens the burdens of another.” ~Charles Dickens

A few years back, I saw a sticker that read, “Be the change you wish to see in the world. –Gandhi.”

My knee-jerk reaction was annoyance because the sticker was affixed to the bumper of a car that turned left in front of me. I was in the middle of a long stretch of bad days, so pretty much anything would have set me off.

My search for happiness during that bleak period seemed fruitless, most likely because I didn’t know that happiness is not …

How To Be The Best Version Of You A Lot More Often

By in Blog, happiness & fun, healthy habits

“In chaos, there is fertility.” ~Anaïs Nin

Are you a calm creature in your yoga class, then you get home and yell at your kids?

Do you ever read a really inspirational book or blog and think, “Yes! That makes total sense, and I’m going to start doing that!” Then life gets busy and it never quite happens?

Do you ever feel like you’re two different people living in the same body? Saying one thing, doing another?

Me too.

For the past fifteen years I’ve been a self-development junkie.

I’ve read tons of books and I’ve attended courses and …

How to Love Your Life at Every Age

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment.” ~Pema Chodron

When I was twenty-seven, a wave of dread swept over my life.

As I looked to the future, all I could see was the beginning of the end. Pretty soon, it would all be downhill.

Why the doom and gloom? I was approaching thirty!

Like many young people in their teens and twenties, I regarded “The Big 3-0” as the end of the party.

I would become uncool (or perhaps more accurately, even less cool than I already was). I feared turning into my parents.…

How to Stop Feeling Inadequate and Let Go of Heavy Expectations

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships, meaning & passion

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” ~Charles Dickens

When I was seven years old, my parents had me take an IQ test for an application to a private school near our new home.

I vaguely remember sitting with the proctor, answering question after question about vocabulary and spatial recognition. To seven-year-old me, the test was nothing more than a fun logic puzzle, and I delighted at each question I knew the answer to, bright eyed and enthusiastic.

While I don’t recall my exact score, the numbers were unusually high—in fact, so high that …

4 Questions to Help You Let Go And Allow Life to Happen

By in Blog, letting go

“If you let go a little you will have a little happiness. If you let go a lot you will have a lot of happiness. If you let go completely you will be free.” ~Ajahn Chah 

I’m a smart woman. And being smart gets me in trouble. I know how to cross my “T’s” and dot my “I’s”—to prepare for what might come. I know how to plan, to pack, to book tickets, to be the perfect tour guide.

I know how to make lists—very well. I know how to calendar myself and how to produce events. I know how …

Why People Who Embrace Their Imperfections Go Far

By in Blog, change & challenges

“A beautiful thing is never perfect.” ~Proverb

I was having a conversation with a group of friends that I meet up with occasionally, and my friend—let’s call her Sarah—started talking about perfectionism.

She said that people used to describe her as a perfectionist and she’d wonder what they were talking about because, according to Sarah, she couldn’t do anything right.

And then one day it dawned on her that her perfectionism was rooted within the idea that if she couldn’t do something perfectly, she wasn’t doing it right. So she had best not do it at all.

I …

How to Free Yourself from Bitterness by Forgiving Others

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.

“Stop the world, I want to get off!” I felt like screaming this phrase at the top of my lungs during a difficult period of my life. Obviously, stepping off terra firma into outer space was not an option; what I desperately needed was to be free of chronic fatigue, stress, anxiety, and negative emotions and behaviors.

Sleepless nights spent rehashing painful events past and present also needed to end.

Leading up to this period, I had struggled through a lengthy and emotional divorce …

You Have the Strength and Wisdom to Thrive Through Hard Times

By in Blog, change & challenges

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” ~Abraham Lincoln

Nothing can ever really prepare you for a cancer diagnosis, but it can quickly turn your life into an unplanned story.

Diagnosed at the age of twenty-eight with ocular melanoma, I was treated with surgery and proton beam therapy, and gratefully continued on with my life (though certainly a changed person).

But every year I went for a MRI of my liver/abdomen because if ocular melanoma spreads, it most likely goes to the liver. And every year when I …

4 Simple Questions That Can Revamp a Sensitive Soul’s Health

By in Blog, healthy habits

“Quality questions create a quality life.” ~Tony Robbins

Have you ever wondered, maybe even worried, “Why is it easier for others to take care of their health? Why do they have more willpower? Less struggle?”

And, “What am I doing wrong?”

I used to ask myself all this, and more. It was confusing; I tried to eat healthy and exercise, but my body argued back. Weight issues. Fatigue. Chronic pain. Injury after injury.

The answer seemed obvious.

Try harder.

But doing so made the issues worse, or another problem started. Or both.

The doctors all said my symptoms didn’t make …

The Key to Finding Your Ideal Partner in Life

By in Blog, love & relationships

“The most perfect relationship is the one that supports you in fulfilling your destiny—the one that empowers you to be everything you are meant to be in this world and beyond.” ~Jan H. Stringer

As I was sitting up in my bed, reviewing my “Ideal partner wish list” from six years ago, I was a little appalled. I had no idea how much I had been influenced by Hollywood when it came to identifying what I wanted in an ideal partner. It was watermarked all over my wish list. It was hard to ignore.

There was an undertone of …

Unlearning the Self-Loathing That’s Passed Down by Generations

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Embrace and love your body. It is the most amazing thing you will ever own.” ~Unknown

The first time I made myself throw up to feel skinny, I was five years old. My grandmother still loves to tell this story—she thinks it’s funny.

The story goes like this: I tell my grandmother my stomach feels sick. She rubs my belly. I tell her it still hurts. She asks me if I want to try the “potion.” I say, “Yes.”

The “potion,” as I realized in an unrelated context in my early twenties, was syrup of Ipecac—a strong vomit inducer. I …

The Best Christmas Gift Ever: Finding Blessings in Challenges

By in Blog, change & challenges

“There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands.” ~Richard Bach

Recently, I began reflecting on a time in my life I hadn’t thought about in a while.

I began remembering the time when I was five years old and staying with my great aunt and uncle, because the town my mom and I lived in was under siege and unsafe.

Our town was experiencing some of the heightened turbulence that became quite common in many towns and cities during the Lebanese Civil War, which lasted from the mid-seventies to the early nineties.…

Change How You Feel by Changing Your Perspective

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy the thorn bush has roses.” ~Proverb

While I was a going through what I considered the worst divorce in history, I remember waking up every day thinking throughout the day what a horrible thing divorce was. I wondered how other people had gone through it and come out with their sanity, and not marred with cynicism about love and life.

For a year, all I saw was the negative in everything, including my ex-husband, my life circumstances, and most of all myself.

My husband was fighting for …

Why You Feel Alone with Your Feelings and Why You Never Are

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“Life is actually really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” ~Confucius

There were times when I felt that my thoughts had complete control over my life. I could convince myself of anything, really. My thoughts would rarely lift me up and, instead, convince me I would fail.

I would fail at relationships. I would fail at my job. I told myself I was a failure.

I honestly believed that I was the only one who experienced this level of personal rejection. Of course, I knew that it wasn’t unique to me because I knew other people struggled …