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How to Know What You’re Really Feeling So You Can Feel Better

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“The more you hide your feelings, the more they show. The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow.” ~Unknown

Throughout my life, I thought of myself as someone who felt too much. I was very gregarious and could easily be consumed by moments of joy and celebration. But when I was alone, I could be overtaken by angry, self-destructive voices that would dominate my mind.

By senior year of high school, I was spending many hours of the day crying, and had taken to pinching and punching myself until I was black and blue.

I felt I needed …

Dealing and Healing After Loss: 9 Tips to Help You Get Through the Day

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Our strength grows out of our weaknesses.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you don’t know where to start, start anywhere. I keep telling myself that every time I am stuck.

Well, I’ve been a widow for year and a half, and I am twenty-four years old. Maybe that’s the way to start here.

My husband had cancer. We tried to enjoy the time before his passing as best we could, so he would die with memories, not dreams. And I guess that the fact that he died content is quite an accomplishment in our relationship.

But it doesn’t change …

Finding the Strength to Leave: Run Toward, Not Away

By in Blog, love & relationships

“You don’t need strength to let go of something. What you really need is understanding.” ~Guy Finley

It was 11pm on a Monday night and yet again I was chatting online with my friend about the woes of my failing marriage. “I just need a knight in shining armor to take me away from all of this,” I said.

“Not real life,” she said, “but you’re bright and strong, and you’ll be fine.”

I didn’t feel strong. All I could see was a mountain of practical reasons why I had to stay in this relationship: our two-year-old twins, the …

We Need to Give People the Freedom to Choose What’s Right for Them

By in Blog, happiness & fun, love & relationships

“You must love in such a way that the other person feels free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I’ve read a lot of articles about loving without attachment and respecting other people’s choices, but it wasn’t until one day that I truly got it. And I will tell you what happened to me that day.

My boss and I have a very special relationship. He’s the boss everyone would want to have. He appreciates me for my work and for everything I do. He thinks that I’m a great kid. Every time he has the chance, he praises my results and he …

Two Free, Life Changing Meditation Events

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

If you’re anything like me, you may sometimes have the best intentions of meditating, only to find yourself finding excuses to avoid sitting still.

Maybe it’s because the thought of slowing down makes your heart start to race with terror. Maybe it’s because you’d rather sit naked on the subway floor for an hour than sit with your own thoughts for even a minute.

Or maybe your lack of motivation stems from a list of can’ts—a sense that you can’t devote enough time to make it worthwhile, or you can’t do it consistently because some days are busier than others, …

How to Get Out of Your Own Way and Let Your Life Shine

By in Blog, happiness & fun, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.” ~Hafiz of Shiraz

I have been on a quest to be happy for as long as I can remember.

I thought I had looked everywhere. I tried relationships, work, adventure travels, and a life filled with friends and activity, but still I felt anxious. I was disenchanted with life. Years of therapy attempting to work out my problems didn’t give me the sense of peace I somehow thought was possible.

I knew there had to be more, and I …

Finding a Path When You Feel Like Two Different People

By in Blog, work fulfillment

“By accepting yourself and being fully what you are, your presence can make others happy.” ~Jane Roberts

When I was a little girl, I played a lot of imaginary games and spent a lot of time on my own. I wasn’t particularly popular. I was a complete goodie-two-shoes.

I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. When people asked me, sometimes I said a vet, sometimes an interior designer, sometimes just to work for my parents who have a fruit importing business. Truth is, I had no idea.

Why do people think a child would …

Accepting Yourself as an Introvert and Loving Your Inner Tortoise

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“We can’t underestimate the value of silence. We need to create ourselves, need to spend time alone. If you don’t, you risk not knowing yourself and not realizing your dreams.” ~Jewel

Tortoises are out of fashion. They are no longer the wise ones, taking one patient step after another, coming out victorious in the end. Today, they are the ones who can’t cross the road fast enough, the ones most likely to get hit by a car.

There is shame involved in being a tortoise.

And so I have spent a considerable chunk of my life trying to turn into …

3 Powerful Benefits of Accepting Yourself and Your Differences

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

“Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself.” ~Sonya Parker

Our common culture is one that values acceptance from the group over self-acceptance. We base our self-worth on how we measure up against who society tells us to be, and our culture views those who are different as being anomalies that could bring the group down.

And yet deep in our hearts (and in the books that tell our collective history) we know that individuals who go against the grain are the …

What to Do When It Seems Like Your World Is Falling Apart

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’” ~Mary Anne Radmacher

The moment I gave thanks to the universe for placing me in the Philippines and giving me the courage to pursue a happy life of simplicity and love…

That very moment, riding on the back of a motorcycle, the wind rustling my hair and cooling me down from the sweaty heat that envelops the Philippines, a truck smashed into my left leg and shattered my knee.

Choosing to leave for the Peace Corps program in …

How to Stop Stressing About Being Perfect (So You Can Enjoy Life)

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~Anna Quindlen

I finally learned I wasn’t Superman.

It was a hard concept for me to grasp. You see, I was always the good child. The one that did everything without complaint or supervision. I was the one who didn’t need help in school, who knew how to plan, who did the chores without having to be asked twice.

As I grew older this idea that I was “the good child/person” grew. My grades had to be perfect. …

Your Struggle Does Not Define You: 2 Steps to Start Breaking Free

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.” ~Nido Qubein

It’s difficult to remember the exact moment when things fell apart.

By now, so much time has passed that when I think back to that evening, the chain of events is clear up until everything stood still. I don’t remember how I slept after midnight or when he left.

Just the eerie glow of the flip phone in my darkened apartment as I ignored the calls after I sent the text. The text that set my whole life into forward motion after …

Using Our Passions While We Can And Never Giving Up

By in Blog, change & challenges, meaning & passion

“Never underestimate the power of passion.” ~Eve Sawyer

I am a runner in my heart and in my body. Running has provided me with so many life lessons that I cannot even count them. But having to fight for running has given me the most important ones.

I still remember that day in September of 2002 when I went to my first cross-country practice. The coach told me it would only be an easy six-miler.

Only? Easy? And a six-miler?

“How does that even belong to the same sentence?” I wondered. I didn’t even know what miles were (being originally …

How to Be Happier Without Really Trying

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Happiness is the absence of trying to strive for happiness.” ~Chuang Zi 

I sat in the café wondering why I wasn’t happy.

I had been listening to all the happiness and self-help gurus. I was meditating every morning. I ate a healthy diet. I exercised four times a week. I was working hard on projects I was passionate about. I wasn’t wasting time and watching my life tick away.

Yet somehow, as I sat in the café, I wondered how I could have been “doing it all right” and yet everything felt incredibly wrong.

There is no mistaking the feeling …

Getting More Out of Life When You Have Less Money

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun

“The real measure of your wealth is how much you’d be worth if you lost all your money.” ~Unknown

When we find ourselves not having “enough,” times may be rough; however, this is only our first glance, our perceived perception.

Not all who have little are poor. None who live simply fit into the status quo. And none of us deserves to be judged for what we do or do not own.

Poverty lines are a general measure of separating the classes, but they fail to feel emotions, see our genuine qualities, or tell the stories of our lives.

They …

How to Heal a Broken Heart and Wounded Spirit

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present.” ~Marianne Williamson

My life fell apart on a warm August evening a few years ago. It had been a full summer: family visits, plans for a cross-country move, barbecues, and plenty of travel. We were happy, my husband and I.

Or so I thought.

On that August night, my husband came home to our cozy New York apartment, sat down, and told me, behind a smother of hands and hunched shoulders, that he’s in love with another woman. Well, not so …

Stop Waiting on Your Dream: Take Tiny Steps to Make “Someday” Now

By in Blog, meaning & passion, work fulfillment

“The beautiful things about setbacks is they introduce us to our strengths.” ~Robin Sharma

It was morning, March 2009. My alarm announced another ho-hum weekday.

On the outside, I had it pretty together. I was living the corporate NYC life with a great apartment, a steady relationship, and a solid paycheck. But in the back of my mind, I knew I wasn’t as happy as I made myself out to be.

I didn’t know what I really wanted, and I constantly felt like I should just stop complaining in my head and make the best of things.

So, with every …

Knowing What to Do When the Path You’re On Feels Wrong

By in Blog, change & challenges, meaning & passion, work fulfillment

“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.” ~Cherokee Proverb

Age is a funny thing, isn’t it? It’s both an internal and external measurement by which many of us, consciously or not, judge our successes and failures, and it’s how others often judge us: “She’s so young to be CEO.” “He’s too old to be a quarterback now.” “Those guys should have stopped touring years ago.” “How old is that woman he’s dating?”

Measurement is part of our culture.

Paradoxically, we initially choose our life paths when we are the least prepared to understand the significance of our decisions.…

Worrying About the Future: On Trusting in Uncertainty

By in Blog, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.” ~Eckhart Tolle

The other day my good friend from back home called me hysterically crying. She felt certain she just blew a second job interview, and she’d hit a breaking point.

She’d been struggling for months, just barely paying her bills and wondering if she could afford to keep her apartment.

Every purchase had become an exercise in extreme deliberation. In fact, I’m fairly certain that when I visited last, I saw her stressing in the grocery store about whether she really needed that box of Twinkies that beckoned from …

How to De-Stress Dating and Stop Tying Your Worth to Relationships

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships

“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” ~Unknown

I’m all too aware that dating can feel like a grinding, painful roller coaster to nowhere.

If you’ve hit your head against the wall as many times as I have, you know how frustrating, depressing, and downright disheartening it can be. Meeting someone new, going on a few great dates, getting excited, having one/both of you sort of stop calling; then repeating the process over and over is enough to make you want to give up for good.

The ups and downs in this cycle can make …