When Someone Tells You They Love You
My Favorite Tip to Ease the Pain of Grief
“It’s also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that’s sitting right here right now…with its aches and its pleasures…is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, fully alive.” ~Pema Chodron
Many people like to think of grief as an emotional experience. It’s something that dominates your internal, emotional space, and that’s it.
But it doesn’t take long when you’re in the thick of grief to experience grief that isn’t emotional at all.
You feel heavy. Like there’s a giant weight on your shoulders.
You feel like your legs are weak and shaking from …
What I Did When I Felt Lost and Purposeless
“A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.” ~Lao Tzu
About a year ago, I came across an e-course titled “Find Your Purpose in 15 Minutes.” I found this course during a time when purpose was something I was actively looking for. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t sure what to do next, and without anything to work toward I was looking for a new motivation to pull me forward.
The e-course I stumbled upon represents a society increasingly concerned with fulfilling its destiny. There is an unsettling pressure, particularly from …
When Things Go Wrong, I Remember This Day
“There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts.” ~Richard Bach
I’d wanted to visit Alaska nearly my entire life. I’d always wanted to see the vast landscape, majestic scenery, and awesome wildlife. So as a single, middle-aged mom with two boys aged fourteen and twelve, we went.
It was going to be an epic trip—travel from our home in the Midwest to Anchorage, a few days to Denali and back, then down to the coast and a cruise all the way to Vancouver. So …
3 Negative Inner Voices and How to Challenge Them
“Beautify your inner dialogue. Beautify your inner world with love light and compassion. Life will be beautiful.” ~Amit Ray
There is no better way to feel good about yourself than changing your internal dialogue. Yes, you have the power to change your inner voice. You can choose to speak to yourself in a positive way or a negative way.
Stop all activity for a moment.
Be still. Notice what your inner voice is saying. Do you hear anything? If not, ask your inner voice this question: How does it feel to be still?
Listen.
Is your inner voice declaring that …
What a Month of Daily Panic Attacks Taught Me About Anxiety
“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn
It happened in the middle of an intimate moment, about a month before my wedding.
One minute I was enjoying a kiss from my fiancé and the next thing I knew, I was clutching my face and writhing in agony.
At first, there was a loud thud in my chest, as if my heart had skipped a beat.
Then out of nowhere I started getting this strange sensation—like the kind of feeling you’d get on an elevator that’s going down too fast. The feeling was so …
How to Step Out of the Drama Triangle and Find Real Peace
“Keep your attention focused entirely on what is truly your own concern, and be clear that what belongs to others is their business and none of yours.” ~Epictetus
Are you addicted to drama? I was, but I didn’t know it. I thought I was just responding to life, to what was happening. I really didn’t think I had a choice! The drama triangle is so pervasive, and can be so subtle, that it just seems normal. But it’s not, and there’s a much saner way to live, I found.
Dr. Stephen Karpman first described the drama triangle in the …
The People Who Hurt Us Are Vehicles for Our Growth
“You only see in others what you have in yourself.” ~Annette Noontil
I now recognize, after observing painful patterns repeat many times, how things that trigger me are just lessons I need to learn that are often delivered through other people. The more painful the experience, the more I can see (in retrospect) I learned from it.
Every now and then, when I find myself getting sucked into thoughts about the rightness or wrongness of a situation and how much pain it’s causing me, I take a step backward. I can see that people are just the mechanism to my …
You Can Have a Tender Heart and Still Be Fierce
“Life is a balance between what we can control and what we cannot. I am learning to live between effort and surrender.” ~Danielle Orner
For too long, I felt myself pulled between two shores of my identity. On one side was my yoga teacher, meditator, healer identity—my tender side. On the other side was my activist, change-maker role—my fierce side.
I always felt like I was too tender for some and too fierce for others. It made me feel like I didn’t fit in anywhere.
Definitely the soft-hearted “woo” person in my activist circles. And I was definitely the …
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