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How to Stop Dwelling on the Life You Could Be Living

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” ~Oprah Winfrey

I’ve often compared myself to others and imagined that they have a better life than I do.

The youngest of eight children, I grew up with a mother who often said, “So and so must really be happy! Look at them! They know how to live life.”

Becoming a widower at the age of forty with eight children to raise was not easy on her, which is why she constantly wished her life were different. And somehow, those thoughts and words stuck with me.…

Now is the Time to Appreciate the People Who Have Helped You

By in Blog, love & relationships

“No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks.” -James Allen

Recently, my mom told me that my beloved piano teacher had passed on. She had reached a high age and died peacefully in her sleep. This news, delivered to me via Facebook, hit me harder than I could have prepared myself for.

Sitting there in front of my computer, I remembered the circumstances of my meeting her. Originally, it was because my sister wanted to learn how to play piano.

It was by pure chance that I decided to go with her for her first lesson and I …

Tiny Wisdom: Do You Let Advice Cloud Your Judgment?

By in Quotes

“A wise man makes his own decisions; an ignorant man follows public opinion.” –Chinese Proverb

As you may remember from a recent post, I’m planning to have surgery soon to remove benign uterine tumors, known as fibroids.

Although I felt certain then that this is the right thing to do, I’ve vacillated quite a bit—mostly because I’ve been listening to too many other people.

Some have advised me to try alternative methods to shrink the fibroids, including herbs and positive thinking. Others have reminded me this surgery could have undesirable complications and a rough recovery. And then there have been …

Swapping out your To-Do list for a Be-Now List

By in Blog, change & challenges

“The grass is not, in fact, always greener on the other side of the fence. Fences have nothing to do with it. The grass is greenest where it is watered. When crossing over fences carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you may be.” ~Robert Fulghum

For as long as I can remember, I have been an ardent keeper of a life to-do list. Always a set of invisible criteria in my head, and sometimes written-out in actual lists, my to-do list of life improvements has been sort of a North Star, guiding my direction and efforts.

This …

The Possibility of Today Video Interview with Lori Deschene

By in Blog

I have done everything in my power to avoid video interviews. When I did my blog tour for my book, Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions, I did mostly written interviews, after pushing for that. As a writer, I enjoy taking time to gather my thoughts and communicate precisely what I want to say.

But I’m far less enthused when it comes to being on camera—especially when that camera is a webcam that’s two feet away from my face.

Still, when my new friend Sibyl of The Possibility of Today suggested a video interview, I decided to …

Give Yourself Some Credit!

By in Blog, happiness & fun, healthy habits

“Always concentrate on how far you’ve come, rather than how far you have left to go.” ~Unknown

After pitching an idea to an international online magazine a month ago, I recently sent the article to the editor. I was quite nervous. It had taken me more than a month. Every time I sat down to write, I didn’t know how to begin.

I typed and then deleted my paragraphs. I typed again, and then deleted the whole document. I wasn’t happy with what I had written.

Eventually, I said to myself, I had to submit something because it had taken …

The Path to Living Authentically

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“Don’t think you’re on the right road just because it’s a well-beaten path.” ~Unknown

Growing up in Appalachia, women always had grace, class, and sweet iced tea in the refrigerator for unexpected visitors. They smiled when called ma’am or darling and kept an immaculate home.

Many Appalachian women also abided by two rules: It’s impolite to say no, and (my mother’s favorite adage), be as nice as you possibly can and everyone will realize you’re the better person.

For me, this translated as always say yes and play nice. I thought this equated to being compassionate and sensitive.

You’re stranded …

Giveaway and Interview: Hike Your Own Hike by Francis Tapon

By in Blog, Giveaway, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

Note: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha to receive free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

If you’ve spent any time traveling, you likely know the amazing sense of freedom and possibility that comes from exploring the world.

My boyfriend likes to note the distinction between vacationing and traveling.

Vacations often entail relaxation, rejuvenation, and recreation, and we usually plan them well in advance. Travel, on the other hand, tends to involve more spontaneity, uncertainty, and adventure, whether …

Tiny Wisdom: Creating Time for Fun

By in Quotes

“It’s not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: what are we busy about?” ~Henry David Thoreau

Last week my younger brother visited me for five days. To ensure I could spend as much time with as possible, I worked extra hard during the weekend before he arrived.

It amazed me to realize how much I could accomplish when I had a strong motivation to be efficient.

During the week, I put in a couple of hours in the mornings to handle pressing issues, and then spent the afternoons and evenings going out with him. Once …

The Tiny Risk-Taking Challenge

By in Blog, change & challenges

“A diamond is just a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptionally well.” – Unknown

Two years ago, I was sitting in my car thinking just after being laid off from the job I thought I’d probably spend the rest of my life doing. According to how these stories usually go, I should have been mad; I should have been scared; I should have wanted revenge.

But I didn’t feel any of these things. Instead, I felt an unexplainable happiness—like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. When the shock of the moment wore off, I realized why I …

Tiny Wisdom: The Most Powerful Words for Healing

By in Quotes

“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.” -Marianne Williamson

Did you ever feel like there was a conversation you really wanted to have with someone, and yet a part of you felt it was unwise?

This is a feeling I know all too well.

When I was younger, I spent years fighting for an apology. It wasn’t until my whole world crashed down on me that I realized I’d become a tornado of anger and bitterness, destroying everything in my wake.

I eventually realized I needed to let go of the victim …

Keep Moving Forward: 4 Tips to Enjoy the Journey More

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace, work fulfillment

“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” ~Proverb

Five years ago, I decided to fulfill my dream of getting a doctorate. I knew from talking to friends who took on the same endeavor that it would mean many sleepless nights and tons of reading and writing. But nothing prepared me for the path that lay ahead.

Graduate school is often compared to a marathon. Why? At each moment, when you think you’ve completed a major milestone, you realize you have a long road ahead. You just have to keep going …

Tiny Wisdom: Just Breathe

By in Quotes

“Our way to practice is one step at a time, one breath at a time.” -Shunryu Suzuki

When I was younger I frequently had mini panic attacks and feared that I might suffocate. It literally felt difficult to catch my breath; it almost felt like I was being smothered.

When I felt this type of anxiety, people often told me, “Just breathe.” But that was the problem—it didn’t feel like I could. The missing piece of their advice was how.

When we’re feeling frustrated, or panicked, or stressed, or scared, we tend to breathe rapid, shallow breaths, allowing minimal …

Simple Tips and Reminders about Living in the Now

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

A person I work with recently left me an article about the unproductiveness of multitasking. On it was a sticky-note saying, “I think you’ll like this article. I wish I could do better in this area. I find it difficult, if not impossible, to not look at e-mail for a couple of hours if I’m at my desk.”

I immediately thought of my dad. He and I had met for lunch a few days earlier. He’s in his mid-70s and still loves his …

Tiny Wisdom: How We Miss Out When We Judge

By in Quotes

“Judgments prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.” -Wayne Dyer

The other day I was writing at a community table at Starbucks when an older man asked if he could sit next to me. Since our chairs were backed up against a wall, I had to get up to facilitate this.

I thought he was looking at me in a slightly strange way, but I put this out of my mind. We were sitting side by side in a confined space, not walking down a dark alley together—there was no reason to be alarmed.

Several hours after …

4 Lessons about Perfection Born from 1000 Failures

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” ~Voltaire

This was just not working out. I had ended up in a failed attempt every single time. This was my 4th day of trying to fix everything.

I had wanted to make a video for my blog—just a minute-long introduction. Not that I didn’t have one already.

I had a video up and running. But that was from my first attempt, and everyone knows there is always room for improvement.

After the video went up, I started to see how I could do better than that. I was not …

Tiny Wisdom: What Are You Feeding Your Heart and Mind?

By in Quotes

Buddha with Orange Background

“Nurture your mind with great thoughts; to believe in the heroic makes heroes.” -Benjamin Disraeli

The other day I read about an insightful Native American myth. A tribal elder tells his grandson that inside each of us, there is a black dog and a white dog doing battle.

The black dog possesses qualities typically understood as negative, including envy, greed, sorrow, anger, resentment, and arrogance. The white dog possesses qualities understood as positive, including love, joy, kindness, empathy, compassion, humility, and peace.

The grandson asks, “Which dog will win the fight?” And the elder responds, “Whichever one we feed.”

What …

Where Do You See Yourself in Five Years?

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“Begin at once to live and count each separate day as a separate life.” ~Seneca

“Where do you envision yourself in five years?”

This is a common interview question. Managers like to find employees who set goals for themselves. They think it is a sign of a person who is motivated and wants to get ahead in life.

I used to believe this too. I constantly badgered myself, “You should be further along in your career.” “Everyone else your age is in management positions, why aren’t you?” “Maybe I should get an MA so I can get a better job …

Tiny Wisdom: Who Do You Think You Are?

By in Quotes

“It’s not who you are that holds you back; it’s who you think you’re not.” -Unknown

I know this may seem obvious, but I recently realized I have the most confidence in the things that I do most frequently.

For example, I write every day—and I have a lot of confidence in my ability to help people through my words. I identify myself as a writer, which goes a long way in motivating me to do this consistently and passionately.

I feel less confident when it comes to the business side of things—negotiating the contract for my next book, for …

How to Tackle Resistance to Make Meaningful Life Changes

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it.” ~Winston Churchill

A little over two years ago, I wrote these hopeless words in my journal:

“All around me, I’m noticing people perpetuate patterns they claim to hate or end up in situations they’ve always dreaded. And I can’t seem to break free. When I take steps to make a new life or forge a new path, barriers pop up left and right. I don’t know what to do differently.”

At the time, it felt as if my repeated attempts at changing the trajectory of my life toward joy and expansion …