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Search Results for "journaling" — 256 posts

How Dealing with Our Emotions Can Help us Heal Chronic Pain

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“The part can never be well unless the whole is well.” ~Plato

Our bodies are clever. They constantly send us messages that something isn’t right. It’s our job to tune in, listen, and act on these messages.

That headache, tight shoulders, and backache are all trying to tell us something. But sometimes the physical symptoms we experience are actually tied up in a deeper emotional pain that needs to be dealt with first.

How do I know this? It was a message I needed to learn, one that I now teach to others.

Six years ago my life fell apart…

10 Lessons My Mother’s Death Taught Me About Healing and Happiness

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“Grief, when it comes, is nothing like we expect it to be.” ~Joan Didion

This spring marked ten years since I lost my mother. One ordinary Thursday, she didn’t show up to work, and my family spent a blur of days frantically hanging missing person fliers, driving all over New England, and hoping against reason for a happy outcome.

My mother was prone to frequent mood swings, but she also talked to my two older brothers and me multiple times a day, and going off the grid was completely out of character. How does someone just vanish? And why?…

3 Ways to Cultivate Gratitude and Boost Your Happiness

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“Gratitude can turn common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” ~William Arthur Ward

Living in India for more than two years now has been an eye opening experience for me, as I’ve realized how I used to take so many things for granted. While growing up and living in my home country (Bosnia and Herzegovina) in Europe, I was lacking gratitude for all the blessings that surrounded me.

While sitting in our penthouse apartment in the New Delhi suburbs, in an air-conditioned room, still feeling the need to chill with a cool …

We Have a Right to Grieve Losses Big and Small

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“Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain.” ~Robert Gary Lee

It felt like I was being crushed by the weight of the world.

“Impossible,” I thought.

It’s impossible that people actually suffer this kind of pain and survive to tell the tale.

When I thought about it, my stomach contracted as if I’d taken a blow to the gut. I’d gasp for breath and try to find some air through the tears and in between sobs.

So this is what grief felt like.

Now I understood why denial is the first stage of grief. How could you endure this kind …

8 Simple Ways to De-Stress and Rejuvenate When You Can’t Take a Vacation

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“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” ~Ajahn Chah

It’s a common theme—jobs keep piling up, new problems arise, and deadlines are nearing. Taking time out for yourself to de-stress and rejuvenate is so far down the to-do list you don’t even consider it a possibility.

But the long-term effects of putting yourself last are real, especially because they take a while to show. They creep up slowly until one day you’ve burnt out.

When I was in this position, it didn’t …

Why It’s Okay to Feel Lost (And How to Find Your Way Again)

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“Feeling lost, crazy and desperate belongs to a good life as much as optimism, certainty and reason.” ~Alain de Botton

Do you feel lost and alone?

Adrift and confused about which way to go?

Do you long for “something more” but have no clue what’s missing?

Maybe you’re not miserable exactly, but you’re not animated and in love with life either.

Your circumstances may even look pretty good on the outside.

But on the inside, where truth resides, you are bored to tears, unfulfilled, and restless.

Or maybe you are miserable, stuck in a painful place, silently suffering.

Trust me; …

How to Find Lasting Peace (Even When You’re in an Emotional Tornado)

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“You can find peace amidst the storms that threaten you.” ~Joseph B. Wirthlin

Does your mind ever feel like a tornado of whirling thoughts?

And when that happens, do you wish for inner peace?

Well, not too long ago, after I quit my corporate job, I was stuck in that exact position. I realized that the degrees I earned and the jobs I chose made me miserable.

My inner chatter became unbearable, and my self-sabotaging, pestering thoughts sparked anxiety attacks, jitters, and nightmares. That forced me to go into therapy.

But even after a year of professional help, …

How to Live a Rich Life Without Lots of Money

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“Ordinary riches can be stolen; real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.” ~Oscar Wilde

Does the race for riches leave you unfulfilled?

Does the thought of constantly chasing ever more cash leave you stressed, depressed even?

Does the whole idea of measuring your personal worth in terms of your personal wealth leave you deeply dissatisfied?

It did for me.

Poor in possessions and somewhat fiscally challenged, I never fit in with my richer friends.

And no matter how much I told myself that money didn’t buy happiness, I still felt …

How Short Rests Can Make You Healthier, Happier, and More Productive

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“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.” ~John Lubbock

Do you ever fear taking breaks?

Maybe you think that if you stop working, everything is going to come crashing down?

Sometimes it feels like you’re riding a train of momentum, and if you try to stop or slow down you’re just going to come off the tracks.

I know the feeling. Believe me, I used to feel …

6 Healthy Ways to Shed Layers of Emotional Pain

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“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~Anais Nin

Do you remember a time when you wanted to crawl under the bed and stay forever?

Perhaps you’d been dealing with chronic pain and anxiety, had recently experienced divorce or the loss of a loved one, maybe even lost a job or two. I had experienced all of these things in just a few short years, and, judging by the loud knocking as I hid, was about to have my car repossessed, too.

I …

Pushing Yourself to Try When You’re Afraid of Failing

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“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” ~Beverly Sills

Before I became a teenager, I developed a characteristic and a disease that went hand-in-hand: I was a perfectionist, and I had an eating disorder.

While my perfectionism was helpful in succeeding at things such as school and sports, the same perfectionism helped to fuel a dangerous relationship with my own body.

Fortunately, I received treatment in high school, and I learned to handle my issues related to anorexia and bulimia in healthy ways. This process was neither easy nor simple, but …

Why We Don’t Need to Try So Hard to Be Better

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“To heal a wound, you need to stop touching it.” ~Unknown

I’ve always been an overachiever. In sixth grade, I spent weeks memorizing over five pages of the poem “Horatius at the Bridge” for extra credit, even though I already had an A in the class.

When I started therapy in my mid-twenties to deal with depression and panic attacks, I turned my overachieving tactics to self-improvement. I spent hours journaling, going to meetings, talking to mentors, reading books, and beating myself up when I fell into old habits.

I always worried: Was I doing it right? Was I …

5 Emotions We Try to Numb with Food (and How to Stop)

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“If music be the food of love, play on.” ~William Shakespeare

This quote holds a very special place in my heart.

Growing up, I was always surrounded by classical music. My grandfather loved the arts, and the first song I ever sang was “Edelweiss” from The Sound of Music.

I remember recognizing what it felt like to have a big voice come out of a tiny body, how powerful and scary that was.

Years passed, along with plenty of practicing and an expanded repertoire, and I found myself going to college to study vocal performance. This was where the …

You Can Make a Difference: 7 Ways to Create a Powerful Legacy

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“Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever; you just have to live.” ~Natalie Babbitt

Recently I was searching for information online about a friend of mine who I lost touch with about a decade ago.

Pam and I went to psychology graduate school together in the early nineties and stayed in touch for a few years after that. But in those pre-Facebook days it was easy to lose touch with people, and Pam and I eventually drifted apart.

Curious about what my friend was up to, I typed her name …

How to Stop Taking on Other People’s Fears and Live Freely

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“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.” ~Pema Chodron

You wake up in the morning, it is sunny outside, and you are grateful for this brand new day. You are enthusiastic to get it started. You take a deep breath and go outside; then you see some gum in your street.

Will you pick it up and stick it to your T-shirt, or maybe even have a little taste of it? Of course not!

Please excuse the gross opening, but bear with me for a second.

So many of us have done something just like that, …

Create a Kinder Mind: How to Stop Your Mean, Hurtful Self-Talk

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“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens!” ~Louise Hay

In my quest to learn to love myself I did therapy, read plenty of self-help books, and took personal development courses, hoping I could learn to love myself like I could learn accounting.

This was all helpful; however, when I reached the self-talk stage my progress came to a standstill.

Before then, I hadn’t consciously realized that I used powerfully negative words when speaking to or about myself. I was the first to put myself down, the first to …

21 Tips to Release Self-Neglect and Love Yourself in Action

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“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

The most important decision of your life, the one that will affect every other decision you make, is the commitment to love and accept yourself. It directly affects the quality of your relationships, your work, your free time, your faith, and your future.

Why, then, is this so difficult to do?

Your Family of Origin

I grew up with nine siblings. I had two older brothers, three older sisters, three younger sisters, and a younger brother.…

5 Lessons on Living Life Fully from a Breast Cancer Survivor

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“We all have two lives. The second one begins when we realize we only have one.” ~Confucius

When I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer in September 2014 I tried to spin this life curveball on its ugly head and find some lessons from this journey.

That’s how I dealt with the blow.

The truth is, I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me. I never wanted to be a victim.

I wanted to be a survivor from day dot.

Throughout this process I learned five powerful lessons that I’d like to share with you so that you …

10 Simple Ways to Ease Your Anxiety Today

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“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

As an almost recovered anxiety sufferer I know what it’s like to feel stressed, out of sorts, desperate, and unlike yourself. I know what panic attacks feel like; I’ve had many. I wouldn’t wish them on my worst enemy.

Anxiety can be debilitating and affect every area of your day-to-day life.

I remember about four years ago, when I was feeling so overwhelmed and anxious I could barely leave my house. I had three young children at the time. It was all I could do to get through each day.

Just …

Two Steps You Might Be Missing If Forgiveness Doesn’t Stop the Pain

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“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and realize that prisoner was you.” ~Lewis B. Smedes

When someone you care about hurts you in some way, most people tell you that to move on, you have to forgive.

They say forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. You have to understand what happened from their point of view. Life is too short to hold a grudge or be angry.

Well, what if you do all that?

You forgive. You understand that they really didn’t mean to hurt you or if they did mean to, you understand where …