Posts tagged with “happy”
Two Types of Boundaries That Can Help You Take Good Care of Yourself
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” ~Brené Brown
Do you have the courage to love yourself and set the boundaries you need?
For years I didn’t, and wondered why my life didn’t work. I didn’t really understand what boundaries were or why I needed them.
My severe lack of boundaries allowed me to give away my energy, time, power, and love to others, leaving virtually nothing for myself.
For years I lived in a perpetual state of lack, feeling like I wasn’t enough. Looking back, it makes sense …
3 Ways to Stop Obsessing and Start Enjoying More of Your Life
“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” ~Marcus Aurelius
I’ve come to realize that worrying and obsessing don’t help or change anything.
Hold up. Wait a minute!
Let me rephrase that, because worrying and obsessing do change things. They make your life worse. I think pretty much everyone in the world knows this, but how hard do we try to stop doing these things?
What If?
Every day you wake up and you think and obsess and wonder, “What if?”
What if I lose my job? What …
How to Embrace Your Sensitive Superpower and Stop Feeling Overwhelmed
“With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.” – Dalai Lama
Sensitivity can feel like a gift or a burden, depending on our relationship to it.
If you often feel completely overwhelmed by an overload of stimulation, then your sensitivity probably doesn’t feel like an asset. Maybe more like a liability. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
As an introvert and sensitive person, I’ve navigated these waters my whole life, and I’ve come to realize that sensitivity is more than a gift—it’s a superpower! But first we need to …
Why Compliments Made Me Cringe and How I’ve Learned to Accept Praise
“Even when the sea is stirred up by the winds of self-doubt, we can find our way home.” ~Tara Brach
What is it about praise that’s so hard to hear sometimes?
You know the drill. You do something noteworthy, like cooking a meal for your friends, or getting on stage to do a talk. Assuming things go okay, your friends or colleagues tell you a bunch of nice, encouraging things afterward:
“This meal is delicious!”
“You did great up there!”
And suddenly you feel uncomfortable.
Maybe you deflect those nice, encouraging words (“Oh it was nothing, really”). Or …
Why We Close Ourselves Off to Friendships and How to Open Up
“If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you.” ~Louise Hay
Picking the flimsy gold lock on my groovy denim-covered childhood diary, I’m instantly transported back to my ten-year-old life.
Each page duly describes what I what I ate for dinner that day as well as what my two best friends and I got up to. It was 1976 and we were obsessed with Charlie’s Angels, cruising around “undercover” on our bikes, solving fresh crimes around the neighborhood.
Every couple of weeks I’d report the latest drama amongst the three of us. Either my …
My Needs Matter Too: How I Started Speaking Up and Setting Boundaries
“Setting boundaries is a way of caring for myself. It doesn’t make me mean, selfish, or uncaring just because I don’t do things your way. I care about me, too.” ~Christine Morgan
In my early twenties, I could shout into a megaphone at a political rally of thousands, but I couldn’t decline drinks from strangers at the bar. I could perform original music for an attentive audience, but I couldn’t tell my friends when I felt hurt by something they’d said. I could start a business, advocate for new laws at City Hall, and share deeply personal poetry on Facebook, …
Accepting My Autistic Self: Why I’m Done Trying to Fit In
“I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.” ~Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre
A common misconception about autistic people is that we don’t care if we’re alone. Of course this varies with each person, but on the whole, it’s untrue. We want to feel included, it’s just not easy for us to fit in. There are other days when I feel autism has separated me so fully from other people that I am functioning on a different plane of existence, not just with a different …
How Getting Hit by a Bus Taught Me to Stop Worrying and Start Living
“Sometimes it takes a good fall to really know where you stand.” – Hayley Williams
How often do you appreciate the pleasure of taking a deep breath? Have you stopped worrying about what the world can do to you, and instead focused on what you can do in the world? Do you actively appreciate your life, as a part of your daily routine?
Odds are you do not. I know I certainly didn’t, until it was nearly taken from me.
I’ve been riding bicycles around New York City since I was a child. While cycling in the city used to …
How to Find Your Fighting Spirit When Life Gets Tough
“Sometimes, life will kick you around, but sooner or later, you realize you’re not just a survivor. You’re a warrior, and you’re stronger than anything life throws your way.” ~Brooke Davis
No matter how positive we are, how healthily we live, or how much kindness, generosity, or fairness we practice, shit happens. To all of us. And suddenly, we find ourselves juggling more balls than it seems humanly possible to juggle.
I’ve had my share of this…
When my father died suddenly when I was in my twenties. When I was lost in a bottomless depression for two …
How Lowering Our Expectations Helps Us Do What We Really Want to Do
“Human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” ~William James
Despite being the sort of person who’s constantly generating self-improvement to-do lists, I’ve never been big into making New Year’s resolutions. If I make any at all, they usually occur as an afterthought, frequently after the fact, and without much in the way of any real resolution.
However, this January I suddenly decided my resolution for 2019 should be to lower my expectations.
My whole life I’ve been an overachieving, Type A perfectionist. The sort of person who obsessively stresses about getting work in on time, …
Love Them Today, Before Their Tomorrow’s Taken Away
“Before someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, appreciate them today.” ~Michelle C. Ustaszeski
Last year, my grandfather passed away.
He had gone to the hospital many times before. Sometimes he went for a minor sickness, sometimes for a severe condition. Unfortunately, the last time he went, we found out that he didn’t have much time left. He was diagnosed with last stage bladder cancer.
It was a shock to our family. My grandfather had always been a survivor. He’d survived the war, the darkest moment of the country. We couldn’t imagine he would lose his life …
It’s Not All Love and Light: Why We Can’t Ignore the Dark and Just “Be Positive”
“The dark night of the soul comes just before revelation.” ~Joseph Campbell
If you frequent Instagram or any other social media platform these days, you may notice countless posts about positivity, self-help, yoga, and green juice. And gluten-free everything.
Most of us equate these messages with spirituality and good vibes. I won’t disagree. These messages do promote good vibes. But, the problem is these posts don’t tell the whole story, and once we log off, many of us still feel incomplete, fearful, and insecure because all of these “influencers” and gurus seem to have it all figured out.
I’m …
9 Lessons from my 9-Month-Old Nephew, Who’s Taught Me How to Live
“The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.” ~William Arthur Ward
Oliver.
Ahh, my heart skips a beat at just the sound of his name.
In 2018, a tiny human being arrived on the planet, one who would change my life. In the short nine months my nephew Oliver has been in my life, I’ve learned a lot. I’m not talking about changing nappies and bottle-feeding, although I’m getting to grips with these essentials too. No, Oliver has taught me valuable lessons about life itself. Here are nine of the biggest.
1.
…
The Invisible Effects of Social Media: When It’s Time to Stop Scrolling
“What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” ~Unknown
Is there a more precious commodity than time? It’s the currency of life; the most basic finite resource, and we have a responsibility to spend it wisely. It’s up to us each individually to figure out what that means to us. For me, that means being mindful of the people, activities, and thoughts to which I give my time and energy.
I am an obsessive reader, and at any one time I have at least fifteen books checked out of the …
The Beauty of Doing Nothing: Why I’ve Embraced Being Unproductive
“Every good cause is worth some inefficiency.” ~Paul Samuelson
I made a mess yesterday. The mess is still there. Who knows when the mess will disappear.
The mess provided me with one of those sense-pleasing plates of food that lingers in the mind long after the last bite. The kind that makes you wonder if there is a rhyme and reason to our world after all. A plate of food so delectable it provided a raison for my être. (If only for a little while.)
But this story is not about the art of nourishing oneself. It is about …
We Keep Going, One Tiny Step at a Time, and We Should Be Proud
“Don’t wait until you reach your goal to be proud of yourself. Be proud of every step you take.” ~Karen Salmansohn
One of the greatest ironies of being human is that we’re often hardest on ourselves right when we should be most proud.
Let’s say you finally find the courage to start a dream project you’ve fantasized about for as long as you can remember. You push through years of built-up fears, overcome massive internal resistance, and take the leap despite feeling like you’re jumping through a ring of fire, above a pit filled with burning acid.
It’s one of …
What to Ask Yourself When You Feel Lost, Unsure, or Confused
“The quality of your life is a direct reflection of the quality of the questions you are asking yourself.” ~Tony Robbins
I am naturally inclined to do—to go, to move, to take action. Slowing down takes a lot of patience for me. But I often find that moving too quickly actually causes me more confusion.
One day, my head felt overwhelmed with questions. What had started with a simple idea of little ole me living in a tiny house on wheels (one of those under 200 square feet homes built on a trailer) had turned into a big undertaking …
Overcoming Intergenerational Trauma: We Can Break the Cycle of Abuse
“Our ancestors knew that healing comes in cycles and circles. One generation carries the pain so that the next can live and heal. One cannot live without the other, each is the other’s hope, meaning and strength.” ~Gemma B. Benton
I thought I had no value, my opinion meaningless. My sense of self was decimated. Finally, I got angry and attacked.
“You can’t imagine the pain you’ve put me through!” I yelled. “You don’t even know who I am. You can’t see it. You’re refusing to take responsibility for the way you raised me! Not thinking is not an excuse! …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.