“When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
I meet with a lot of people who say things like, “Oh, I’ve tried meditation before but I’m just not good at it.” When asked to explain, the most common answer is, “I just can’t make my mind get quiet.”
I’ve heard responses like this so often that I’ve come to realize that this is the single greatest misunderstanding about meditation.… Read More
“Be what you are. This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.” ~Julius Charles Hare
In a few months it will be the two and a half year anniversary of my mental breakdown.
I don’t really celebrate the date, partially because I don’t know it—it’s not the sort of thing that you remember to mark on your calendar—and partially because my entire life since then has been a celebration of what I began to learn that night.… Read More
“What you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you.” ~Seneca
I used to labor under the gross illusion that confidence was elusive, like a Sasquatch.
Or fleeting, like a shooting star.
It’s there for a moment, then poof!—gone.
Did I dream it?
To deepen this illusion, I believed that only a select few were anointed with confidence by an unseen hand upon their birth (this same mysterious hand also granted natural athletic ability), leaving the rest of us to muddle through, solely reliant on glancing blows of confidence that would hopefully show up when desperately necessary.… Read More
“You gain courage, strength and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
Finding my passion made me fat.
Not fat in an “I have to wear a Homer Simpson Mumu” kind of way, but in an “I eat cookies and chocolate all the time and I’m not sure what happened to my muscle.… Read More
“Worry less, smile more. Don’t regret, just learn and grow.” ~Unknown
The day finally came when my heart was strong enough to speak up.
I had spent many years trying to be the calm, sensible one. The one who would try to rationalize my sister’s behavior just to keep the peace.… Read More
“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.” ~Robert Brault
My ex-boyfriend is angry with me.
I met him soon after he had broken up with his then fiancée, and he thought he was ready to move on, but wasn’t. After many months of messing me about, we ended it.… Read More
“Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.” ~John de Paola
After six months of being single after my divorce, I wanted to date again. I was still afraid of failure and rejection, but I wanted to try. I felt the best way to get over it was to dedicate my time to finding someone new.… Read More
“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~Aristotle
At the end of the day, when I feel completely exhausted, it often has nothing to do with all the things I’ve done.
It’s not a consequence of juggling multiple responsibilities and projects. It’s not my body’s way of punishing me for becoming a late-life jogger after a period of laziness.… Read More
“Think of all the beauty that is still left in and around you and be happy.” ~Anne Frank
At first glance, the happiest person I’ve ever met appeared to be a simple man. There didn’t seem to be anything particularly sophisticated or spiritual about him.
Srulik was five-feet tall, with a big round belly and a wide smile permanently plastered on his face.… Read More
“A thousand half-loves must be forsaken to take one whole heart home.” ~Rumi
When I met my first love, my dull black and white life became as bright as a double rainbow. The intense hues of love flooded over me with extreme joy and happiness.
Soon after meeting, we married and lived together for ten years.… Read More
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~Anna Quindlen
It should theoretically be simple but being authentic is not easy. It takes gumption to assert with courageous conviction “This is me!” and grace to accept what comes after.… Read More
“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.” ~William S. Burroughs
Sitting in my office I stared at the email in front of me.
My heart sank.
All energy and joy left me, to be replaced with confusion, anxiety, and a deep sense of frustration.… Read More
“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
“Yeah…Uh huh…Uh huh…Yeah…No way! Uh huh.”
This was the response I got when talking to a friend the other day. I could tell he wasn’t really listening, because he was browsing Facebook at the time.… Read More
“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive—to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” ~Marcus Aurelius
I remember attending a lecture by the Tibetan monk Sogyam Rimpoche, author of The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, in which, smiling all the while, he confessed, “So many people, they say, ‘I’m not afraid of death.’I tell you, they’re lying!… Read More
“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” ~Joan Borysenko
After years and years of living with anxiety, I can’t tell you exactly what I have been anxious about.
Is it a pervasive thought about how my life will end? Is it a constant worry about my financial security?… Read More
“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~C.S Lewis
I’m a law student nearing the end of my degree and I think the most important lesson my studies have unintentionally imparted is that blame gets us nowhere.… Read More
“What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.” ~Ralph Marston
Before I started my business, I spent three years at an ad agency and a little over a year at an international furnishings retailer. I also waitressed, wrote freelance articles, designed and developed a church website, and worked in an incredibly boring mailroom.… Read More
“If you do nothing unexpected, nothing unexpected happens.” ~Fay Weldon
After an extremely harrowing time dealing with big life changes while working a very stressful job, I snapped.
No, I didn’t reach for the nearest stapler and start attacking my colleagues (though this was a secret fantasy when the going got really tough).… Read More
“Eyes that do not cry, do not see.” ~Swedish Proverb
Just get over it; don’t be so sensitive. You should toughen up and grow a thicker skin…
I’ve heard this advice so much over my life, but I’ve never seen it make anyone happy.
Advised to toughen up with thicker skins so we can protect ourselves, we end up just bottling it up inside and pushing away how we feel, hoping it looks like we’re strong.… Read More
“We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain.” ~Alan Watts
Are you good at noticing subtle details? Are you able to learn without really being aware that you are learning? Do you notice other people’s moods? Do these moods affect you?
Are you sensitive to pain?… Read More