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Relinquishing Control of Others: 5 Ways It Serves You

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Selfishness is not living your life as you wish to live it. Selfishness is wanting others to live their lives as you wish them to.” ~Oscar Wilde

My mother is a huge control freak. I am told she got it from my grandmother, who basically ran everyone’s life.

Regardless, growing up, I noticed that she really struggled with relinquishing control of what we were all doing with our lives.

It was partly out of love because she just wanted what was best for us, and partly because she feels a sense of panic when she doesn’t know what’s going to …

Grieving a Loss That Feels Like a Death

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go, love & relationships

“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” ~Vicki Harrison

Most grief books are written to help you mourn the death of a loved one and learn how to deal with their absence in this world.

Death is probably the most challenging thing a human can face. It breaks us down. It brings us to our knees. Some people are so significant in our lives that the mere thought of living without them feels incredibly overwhelming and incapacitating.…

Life Goes on After Loss: Tiny Steps To Work Through Grief

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“I realized, it is not the time that heals, but what we do within that time that creates positive change.” ~Diane Dettman

Two weeks ago I found out that a friend passed away. He died eight days after my birthday at the age of twenty-six, and that fact has been hard to swallow, as I didn’t know that my time of celebration would also be a time of grief.

The details surrounding my friend’s death are unknown; all I know is that it happened suddenly, and it was a huge shock to me and other friends that knew him. …

4 Ways to Deal With Criticism So It Doesn’t Get You Down

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“The final proof of greatness lies in being able to endure criticism without resentment.” ~Elbert Hubbard

Are you afraid of receiving criticism?

Even if it’s minor or well-meaning, criticism can feel like a punch in the gut.

And if you let it, criticism can leave you feeling down and resentful for days or weeks after.

As the music director at my church, I occasionally receive negative feedback from members of the community.

After services one Sunday, a congregant came up to offer some critique of my music selections. At first it felt like a full-on attack. I didn’t even have …

When You Want to Judge, Be Curious Instead

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Curiosity will conquer fear more than bravery ever will.” ~James Stephens

Earlier this year I wrote a pretty honest and open article about how I was trying to be less judgmental.

As with anything new, there’s a learning curve. Letting go of judgments hasn’t become a natural and automatic part of my life quite yet, but a skill I’ve recently learned that’s making a huge, huge difference can be summed up in one word: curiosity.

Let me explain: I recently finished Brené Brown’s newest book Rising Strong. It’s all about getting up after a hard emotional fall, and what …

Dealing with Toxic Relationships and Finding Emotional Freedom

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships

“We would do ourselves a tremendous favor by letting go of the people who poison our spirit.” ~Unknown

My husband and I both have living grandparents. My daughter has met the grandparents on my husband’s side, but she hasn’t met mine. Some think I’m cruel for not taking her to meet my grandmother because I had an excellent relationship with my great grandparents.

Some ask why I haven’t contacted her in the two years since my only child was born. I could give a long drawn-out response and try to explain why I gave up on a relationship with my …

What to Do When Your Relationship Feels Stale and Stuck

By in Blog, love & relationships

“To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.” ~Mother Theresa

There comes a point when every couple arrives at the same crossroads. They ask: Is this relationship still the most important thing? Are we doing this well? Do we still love and support one another? Are we still open, honest, and giving?

Often these questions come after years of marriage and a slow realization that mediocrity has set into the relationship.

For those who’ve had a bumpy road and have developed a keen awareness that relationships take work, the questions come earlier and a little …

10 Ways Creativity Can Completely Change Your Life

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Life is a great big canvas. Throw all the paint you can on it.” ~Danny Kaye

I’ve had those days when I felt like my life was in the doldrums. When I felt stuck in the same-old, same-old and wondered how to get a pick me up. When I wished I had more passion or purpose or maybe just a jolt of joy to shake things up.

Sometimes there were things I thought might make me happy, but I couldn’t have them just because I wanted them. Like, I couldn’t just snap my fingers and meet the man who …

You Are the Author of Your Life Story (So Write One You’ll Be Proud Of)

By in Blog, change & challenges, meaning & passion

“When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.” ~Unknown

I grew up without a TV in my household. While most of my friends were talking about their favorite shows, I’d pretend to understand, nod along, and try to laugh at all the appropriate times.

While I had missed out on most of the shows and movies available during my youth, I didn’t miss out on all of them.

Whenever my dad would need to work late, my mom, sister, and I would head to his office and get set up in a conference room …

When Following Your Dreams Results in Failure After Failure

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Everyone tells you to chase your dreams and follow your passion. At some point, you’re brave and full of hope and decide to do it—quit your job, become an artist, apply for that dream job, and change your lifestyle.

It’s wonderful and empowering and exciting and all those things that make living worthwhile.

But what happens when you fail? When quitting your job left you broke, no one wants to publish your work, and your dream job …

10 Ways to Feel Confident Doing Things That Scare You

By in Blog, change & challenges

“With confidence, you have won before you have started.” ~Marcus Garvey

It’s not a great feeling.

Whether it’s meeting new people, speaking in front of a crowd, or learning a new skill, that inner knowing that you just aren’t feeling strong enough to competently complete the task ahead festers inside you.

I’ve had this feeling on numerous occasions.

As a kid I developed a fear of speaking out which emerged from a deep discontent with my body image, which translated later into a fear of socializing and public speaking.

I would have thoughts running through my mind such …

How to Stop Envying Other People’s Seemingly Perfect Lives

By in Blog, change & challenges

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” ~Steve Furtick

It’s in our nature to compare ourselves with others. The ability to weigh one situation up against another helps us make decisions and live our lives productively.

The downside is that when you constantly compare your own life with those of other people, you will always come up short.

Over-comparing causes envy. Envy is the feeling or sensation we have when we want to get something that someone else has and we can’t be happy for them when they have it.…

Losing Your Job Doesn’t Have to Mean Losing Yourself

By in Blog, letting go

“I believe one of the greatest achievements in life is the choice to be empowered, not paralyzed, by a disappointment.” ~Lori Deschene

I was recently fired from my dream job, and this was devastating to me.

Anyone who has ever lost their livelihood should be able to relate to this experience. Vulnerability, shock, confusion, and anger dominated my feelings in the aftermath of suddenly losing a job that I loved.

What happened? My company created a fantastic referral program, and I saw a business opportunity to take advantage of it.

I reached out to multiple senior members of …

5 Valid Reasons to Be a Quitter

By in Blog, letting go, work fulfillment

“You have to learn to get up from the table when love is no longer being served.” ~Nina Simone

In my short life, I have left many jobs or situations. Some might call this “quitting.” Why has quitting gotten a bad rap?

Spiritual teachers and wise people often advise letting go of situations that are no longer right for you. It doesn’t seem like we’ve gotten this message. I don’t think quitting is such a bad word.

I quit my job just recently. And I feel great. Other things that I have chosen to leave: multiple jobs, a few …

How to Stick with New Habits When It’s Hard

By in Blog, healthy habits

“Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones.” ~Benjamin Franklin

You probably agree with that statement.

But, for you (and everyone else) the problem is that good habits are hard to form and bad habits are easy to keep.

It is certainly true for me. Like most of us, I meant to start exercising for about six years after I started my career.

But it never happened. I’d do it for two or three weeks here and there, but nothing that ever stuck.

Then, all of …

If You’re Scared to Share Yourself and Your Gifts

By in Blog, change & challenges, meaning & passion

“True happiness involves the full use of one’s power and talents.” ~John W. Gardner 

If you’re afraid…

…to launch your project,

to share your voice,

to sing in front of someone,

to dance in public,

to write a book,

to show who you really are to the world,

to ask someone out,

to tell someone you love them,

to try something new,

of what other people will think of you…

if you’re afraid of any of these things or more, I have three simple words for you:

Do it anyway.

Do it anyway! Isn’t that liberating? Come on, isn’t it …

5 Questions to Ask Yourself When You’re Feeling Stuck

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Remember, you can’t reach what’s in front of you until you let go of what’s behind you.” ~Unknown

After recently relocating from the UK to Central America, I found it hard to focus my energy and attention again. The upheaval had been all consuming and I was now in a new environment with new routines, new challenges, and a new way of life to adjust to.

I had so much I wanted to do, and I didn’t know which area of life to focus on first. The stuckness I felt affected several different areas …

Shedding Layers of Pain and Learning to Love Our Bodies

By in Blog, change & challenges

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection.” ~Buddha

I cried when I watched the YouTube clip of Amy Pence-Brown standing in a bikini in a crowded marketplace in Idaho.

In the clip Amy asks people to write on her body. Her arms are wide open, she has a blindfold on, she has curves and cellulite, and she is completely vulnerable.

Why did she do it? Because she wanted to say: Here’s my body, complete and real. You can choose to accept me or reject me, but here’s my body. I want to …

Finding Love Now Without Searching for It

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Even in the loneliest moments I have been there for myself.” ~Sanober Khan

My life coach once suggested I give myself the love I needed, which saddened me profoundly. Was that not supposed to be the job of “the love of my life,” whom I would find one day? In fact, I had not met anyone who completely gave up on the idea of finding love, no matter how long they had been single.

Why though?

I myself was happily single for years and yet deep down, there was still that expectation of finding love one day.

Recollecting my moments …

Take the Love Pledge (You Could Win a Copy of Tiny Buddha’s New Love Book)

By in Blog, love & relationships

Happy Thanksgiving to those of you who celebrate it! Today is a perfect day to take the Tiny Buddha love pledge if you haven’t already. Over 1,200 people have taken it over the last ten days.

I created this pledge to help us all be more loving, to others and ourselves. After you take the pledge by entering your email address here, you’ll be entered to win one of three free copies of Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges, which includes stories and daily activities to help us all give and receive more love.

Tiny efforts can make …