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Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself Interview: Alison Hummel

By in Blog, love & relationships

Today marks day two of the pre-order promotion for Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself, a book about taming your inner critic that features 40 stories from Tiny Buddha contributors. 

Over the next month, you’ll have a chance to meet some of the book’s contributors through daily interviews here on the blog.

Today’s featured contributor is Alison Hummel of the thedreamadventure.com. Formerly an alcoholic who felt like an outsider looking in, Alison now works offers “Dream Catchers Sessions” to help people live their own “Dream Adventures.”

Her contribution for the book focuses on accepting ourselves and finding gifts …

Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself (and the Self-Love Bonus Pack)

By in Blog, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

10/9/13: The pre-order promotion is now over. You can learn more about Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself here!

Two years ago I surveyed the Tiny Buddha community to crowdsource wisdom for my second book, which was going to break apart the idea of success.

Around the same time, I experienced a series of life-altering events, including a major surgery, financial hardship, a break-in, and the death of my grandmother.

Within the following months, I dramatically decreased the amount of time I devoted to blogging. After almost three years of regularly sharing my feelings, I wanted space to explore …

Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself Interview: Alesha Chilton

By in Blog, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

Today is an exciting day here at Tiny Buddha! It’s the pre-order launch day for Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself, a book about taming your inner critic that features 40 stories from Tiny Buddha contributors.

Throughout the September, I plan to publish 21 “self-love profiles,” introducing you to some of the book’s contributors.

I’m excited to start with an interview with Tiny Buddha member Alesha Chilton, a mother and MBA graduate whose contribution for the book focuses on believing that we’re good enough.

A little more about Alesha…

The Interview

1. Tell us a little about yourself and

…

Anyone Can Change If They Take It One Step at a Time

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” ~Alan Watts

I used to be an insecure girl obsessed with her weight, stepping on the scales about twenty times a day.

I used to be a bulimic teenager struggling with depression and a way too controlling father, whom I never told, “I love you, Dad.”

I used to be a lonely woman who always fell for the wrong men because she had not yet learned that she deserved better.

I used to be co-dependent, fighting for everyone but myself.

I used to …

The One Thing You Need to Know to Overcome Perfectionism

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go, mindfulness & peace

 “You’re imperfect and you’re wired for struggle but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brene Brown

There’s nothing perfect about me, and I’m okay with that… now. This wasn’t the case for most of my life, though. In fact, I’ve been a perfectionist for almost thirty years. I’m not counting the first five years of my life when I was free to be as messy and magical as I wanted.

In third grade I asked my mom to buy me a stack of lined notebooks and colored pens. I spent hours neatly labeling each notebook by class, date, and …

Change Your Life by Turning Shame into Courage

By in Blog, change & challenges, meaning & passion

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” ~Nelson Mandela

Shame. A word that conjures up all kinds of emotions while equally keeping you silent.

Some have even said that shame should be classified as a deadly disease because of how it deeply affects the soul.

Then, there are researchers like Brené Brown who study it.

It wasn’t until I started working with my first speaking coach that I realized it was actually shame that had kept me “hiding out” and playing small earlier in life.  

Which is typical of women who have …

13 Ways to Change When Life Changes Around You

By in Blog, change & challenges

“We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden.” ~Johann Von Goethe

When my first love died suddenly, my life changed dramatically and permanently. Barely twenty-two at the time, I had no coping skills and no support system. I couldn’t anticipate how deep sorrow would render me completely devastated and heartbroken.

As a result, I engaged in extremely self-destructive behavior. I believed I was going “with the flow,” but in truth I did so many reckless things that I’m surprised I survived. I didn’t know how to deal with my anguish in any other way.

Because life was obviously …

The Secret to Staying Motivated (and Motivating Other People)

By in Blog

“Don’t be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.” ~Unknown

As the founder and owner of Samovar Tea Lounge in San Francisco, I’ve gone through my share of ups and downs over the past twelve years.

One of the hardest challenges I face every day is how to create motivation. How to motivate myself to keep going, even when things get hard. How to motivate staff to serve and lead with enthusiasm. How to motivate vendors to work with me. And the list goes on.

No matter who you are, everyone is trying to motivate someone. Parents try …

Discover Your True Joy: 5 Ways To Find What You’re Really Chasing

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.” ~Unknown

When my last relationship ended, I found myself suddenly questioning what my goals honestly meant to me. I had focused my past five years steadily chasing a very specific dream with this woman (creating joy, art, and a community in NYC, adopting some dogs, and eventually moving back to California to start a family together).

At least that’s what we thought we were chasing.

When we realized that our lives together had become static, that we lacked engaging …

Dealing with Loneliness: Hold onto Patience, Not the Past

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships

“Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength.” ~Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

Last night, I discovered the tiniest of creatures in my shower: a minute scorpion, no larger than the average human fingernail.

I could not for the life of me work out how it had ended up here because I live on the third floor of an apartment building in a busy South African city. Nonetheless, there it was—a little fellow in the corner of the tiles, receiving ricocheted water droplets on his tiny little carapace.

My main personal learning theme for this year …

Stop Being Hard on Yourself: 5 Tips for Learning Life Lessons

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~Viktor Frankl

I learned a big lesson this week. It’s been a lingering challenge that has popped up in many ways recently. Mostly it’s presented itself in other people, or rather, in the qualities of other people.

Over the last few months, I’ve been introduced to quite a few new acquaintances, and I’ve continuously come up against traits that I considered ugly, like arrogance, materialism, insecurity, and ignorance.

It really riled me up to the point that I felt a physical change in myself.

I interpreted …

Be the Hero of Your Story: Make Your Life Count

By in Blog, letting go, meaning & passion

“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have—life itself.” ~Walter Anderson

Flying. I love flying.

No, I’m not some sick person who likes getting strip-searched by TSA, or waiting several hours to board a flight that should have arrived at my destination already. I hate that part, but I love the part when the plane …

Becoming Alive Again: Find Happiness Right Where You Are

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Letting go of the past means that you can enjoy the dream that is happening right now” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

For many of us, life spits out the very real scenario of “one day to the next.” As we go through the motions, our daily routine, whatever that entails, our life becomes predictable. We feel like it’s Groundhog Day. As we land our feet on the ground when we wake each morning, we feel like we are back on the merry-go-round of life.

For me, as I woke every morning, I questioned myself: “Is this it? Am I to feel …

Why We Don’t Always Get What We Want

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun, letting go

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama

It’s probably happened to you. In all likelihood, it has happened multiple times in your life thus far.

You don’t understand why it happens. And when it does, it can throw you into the deepest valleys of despair.

Perhaps you cry out to a higher power to make things better. Maybe you just stare into the cosmos, wondering what the meaning of life is and why things get tough.

I’ve been there. Many times. For all sorts of reasons.

Breakups, career problems, dealing …

6 Thought-Provoking Realizations to Make You Feel Better About Life

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Turn your face toward the sun and the shadows will fall behind you.” ~Māori Proverb

It’s easy to get caught up in our own lives and forget what makes life so beautiful in the first place. Isn’t that true? I know for me, I end up living life through autopilot, lacking a conscious thought until I snap out of it and remind myself that life is great.

When I get like this, it’s nice to remind myself of the realizations I’ve come across over the years and stored in my memory bank.

Every time you forget what you’re living for …

Improve Any Relationship by Challenging Your Perceptions

By in Blog, love & relationships

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche

This morning, I found my wife desperately trying to make her printer work after having set herself one hour to get some good work done. I told her she should use my printer and concentrate on more important things. Surely her printing goal was to get the document in hand, not to spend her one precious hour fighting the machine?

When our argument had died down (yes, it really did get that far!) …

5 Ways to Deal with Emotional Oversensitivity

By in Blog, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“It isn’t what happens to us that causes us to suffer; it’s what we say to ourselves about what happens.” ~Pema Chodron

I’ve never been much of a sun worshipper. I’m a pale blend of Irish, Scottish, and English, so my skin goes from alabaster to boiled lobster in about twenty minutes.

Once when I was a teenager, someone accidentally smacked me on my sunburned back.  I was in tears. She was genuinely sorry and I said I was all right, but secretly I was angry.

Couldn’t she see how red I was? How slowly I moved? Someone with …

Why We Need Disconnected Alone Time (Without Social Media)

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Do not rely completely on any other human being, however dear. We meet all life’s greatest tests alone.” ~Agnes Macphail 

I have found that the more time I spend alone, the more comfortable I become in my own skin because I can truly get to know myself. This provides me with more patience to accept myself as I am, wherever I am in my journey, on a daily basis.

This lesson was something I learned after spending a summer alone in Italy with a family friend.

I embarked on the journey, turning off my phone for the first time, …

You Don’t Need to Fix Yourself to Be Healed

By in Blog, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“Growth begins when we begin to accept our weaknesses.” -Jean Vanier

I used to believe the word “healed” had a very specific meaning. In my mind, it described a state of perfection that always looked very different from the chronic health challenges I endured.

Being born with VACTERL Association, a birth disorder that causes malformations in six of the body’s systems, meant that I entered the world needing a lot of fixes. There were surgeries, hospitalizations, treatments, and medications aimed at perfecting something inherently imperfect.

The Search

I grew up searching. To be like everyone else. For a cure. For …

Transforming Panic Into Peace: 3 Steps to Relieve Anxiety

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again.” ~Buddha

Growing up, I was one of those people much more concerned about what you thought of me than what I thought of me.

With my focus being on how I was being perceived by those around me, it left me feeling extremely unsettled.

I was desperate to be liked and accepted.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind” was a nice idea for the fortunate, but certainly not for me.

I was convinced that …