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Why I Gave Myself Permission to Suck at New Things

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Never be afraid to try new things and make some mistakes. It’s all part of life and learning.” ~Unknown

A few months ago, I was warming up for a dance class. It was a beginners’ class, but the instructor was one of those people who have been dancing all their life, so movement came easy to her. This was the ninth week of a ten-week term, and we’d been working on a choreography for a while now.

Then, the reception girl came in with a new student. She introduced the new girl to the instructor. “Hey B. This is Nat. …

Breaking the Toxic Cycle: My Family Dysfunction Stops with Me

By in Blog, love & relationships

TRIGGER WARNING: This post references physical abuse and may be triggering to some people.

“Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time. Forgive yourself for giving away your power. Forgive yourself for past behaviors. Forgive yourself for the survival patterns and traits you picked up while enduring trauma. Forgive yourself for being who you needed to be.” ~Audrey Kitching 

I will never forget, when I was twelve years old, I went to sit on my father’s lap and he told me, “No! You’re too heavy to sit on my lap!” What does an adolescent girl do with a comment …

Who Are You Protecting? Why Telling Your Story Is Powerful

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ~Maya Angelou

Throughout my childhood experiences I did what every child does and rejected parts of myself. It makes sense because kids depend on adults for survival, so I was in no position to reject my parents. But as an adult I feel it is now my job to reclaim those parts of myself.

While I had two parents that loved me and what I’d describe as a normal childhood, nonetheless I became hyper-attuned to others, over-sensitive to criticism, and a perfectionist, particularly under stress. It led to …

How I’m Healing from Codependency After Growing Up with an Alcoholic Parent

By in Blog, love & relationships

“The only person you can now or ever change is yourself. The only person that it is your business to control is yourself.” ~Melody Beattie

In 2019, I decided to leave my marriage and start over. Although my relationship with my ex-husband brought deep pain and many months of suffering, I felt content with my decision.

In a short time, I began to feel great. I developed a healthy routine, exercised regularly, began meditating every day, spent time in nature, maintained healthy and deep connections with people, and tried to focus on the positive.

For a few months, it …

The Six Ps: What to Do and Not to Do When Dealing with Setbacks and Failure

By in Blog, change & challenges, work fulfillment

“Sometimes you get what you want. Other times, you get a lesson in patience, timing, alignment, empathy, compassion, faith, perseverance, resilience, humility, trust, meaning, awareness, resistance, purpose, clarity, grief, beauty, and life. Either way, you win.” ~Brianna Wiest

“Good as gold,” the cab driver replied as I nervously handed him the $20 bill and asked, “Okay?” He jumped in his cab and drove off.

I was pleasantly surprised by his politeness, as I was expecting him to argue with me for extra money because we’d gone around in circles searching for the address that I had given him at …

The You Matter Marathon: A Simple, FREE Way to Change Someone’s Life (No Running Required)

By in Blog, love & relationships

I care. I’m here. I’m sorry. You can.

Two simple words can make a huge difference. They can soothe, heal, connect, and inspire.

Perhaps the two most powerful words in the English language: You matter.

Far too many people don’t believe this is true. Especially since the start of the pandemic, many have felt isolated, purposeless, and some even hopeless, wondering if they’ll ever feel connected and valuable again—if they ever even have.

My new friend Cheryl Rice started this global kindness movement, the You Matter Marathon, for this very reason.

It all began back in 2016 when a …

Why the Right Choice for You Isn’t Always an Immediate “Hell Yes”

By in Blog, change & challenges

“If our hearts and minds are so unreliable, maybe we should be questioning our own intentions and motivations more. If we’re all wrong, all the time, then isn’t self-skepticism and the rigorous challenging of our own beliefs and assumptions the only logical route to progress?” ~Mark Manson

I often hear people encourage others with the following advice: “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no.”

Don’t get me wrong: I see where they’re coming from when they say it. Far too often we are dissuaded from listening to our gut feelings. Often, we follow the tyranny of shoulds. We …

How I Get Through Hard Times Using Curiosity, Compassion, and Challenge

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Sometimes the worst things that happen in our lives put us on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.” ~Unknown

Until I was thirty-seven, I thought I’d led a pretty charmed life: I had a supportive family and good friends, I’d done well academically, always got the jobs I’d applied for, and met and married the perfect man for me.

In 2013, when I was thirty-five weeks pregnant with my second child, I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. My baby was induced at thirty-seven weeks, and my chemo started ten days later. In …

How to Really Live In the Moment and Appreciate Life

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” ~Albert Einstein 

Just when you think you have the whole living in the moment thing down, a four-year-old comes along and shows you how it’s done.

I’ve been working hard on this, actually, keeping a gratitude journal and everything. I was feeling pretty good about my progress yesterday when I decided to take said four-year-old on a walk rather than rushing through the to-do list burning a hole in the back of my mind.…

I Thought Meditation Would Fix My Anxiety – Here’s Why It Wasn’t Enough

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“Your mind, emotions, and body are instruments and the way you align and tune them determines how well you play life.” ~Harbhajan Singh Yogi

The earliest memory of my anxiety was at ten years old in fifth grade.

I remember it so vividly because in middle school the bus came at 6:22am exactly in the morning.

Each night I would look at my Garfield clock and think, “If I fall asleep now, I’ll get five hours of sleep…. If I fall asleep now, I’ll get four hours of sleep… If I fall asleep now, I’ll get three hours of sleep…”…

How I’ve Dealt with the Shame and Embarrassment of a Failed Career

By in Blog, change & challenges, work fulfillment

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.” ~Brené Brown

The embarrassment you feel upon realizing you don’t actually have what it takes to make a success of yourself. The shame of knowing you spent years training to do one thing and then you bailed right at the finish line. The fear of what to tell people when they ask you what you’re up to.

Of course, you don’t tell anyone how you feel, as you’re too embarrassed to admit you even have these feelings, so you just bury …

FREE Dalai Lama Global Vision Summit: The Power of Compassion Starts on 10/14!

By in Blog, love & relationships

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” – His Holiness the Fourteenth Dalai Lama

Every last one of us experiences pain and suffering, and we all see it all around us. Trauma, tragedy, illness, loss—these are all unavoidable parts of being human. And even if we endure less hardship than most, we’ll still have to watch the people we love struggling, wishing we could somehow help.

We can, and it’s far simpler than we may think. We don’t need to save people, fix their problems, or change their lives. We …

If It Brings You Joy, It’s Not “Wasting Time”

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“At any moment, you have a choice that either leads you closer to your spirit or further away from it.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

When I was a kid, I wanted to be an Olympic figure skater. Or an artist for Disney. Or maybe a musician.

I wanted to be a songwriter and choreographer.

I made up roller skating routines in the driveway to Tiffany and Paula Abdul. (It was most excellent.)

I filled notebooks upon notebooks with illustrations.

And if you were to ask me to describe myself, I might have said, “happy.” Or I would have chattered on about …

One Question I Ask Myself Monthly Since Coming to Terms with Death

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go, love & relationships

“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside of us while we live.” ~Norman Cousins

On September 23, 2015, Loukas Angelo was walking to his after-school strength and conditioning class just a few hundred yards from Archbishop Mitty High School.

He was approaching the outdoor basketball courts when he ran out into the street and was struck by a car traveling around thirty miles per hour. The impact sent Loukas flying down the street, and he was immediately transported to the closest hospital where he remained in critical condition.

I remember sitting on …

Living Without a Grand Purpose: Why I Find Meaning in the Little Things

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“Ironically enough, when you make peace with the fact that the purpose of life is not happiness, but rather experience and growth, happiness comes as a natural byproduct. When you are not seeking it as the objective, it will find its way to you.” ~Unknown

I have always enjoyed helping others. Ever since I can remember, my empathic nature has led me to feel what others are feeling and to try and assist them to the best of my ability. Serving others has always been a point of pride for me.

I have built my entire life around the …

Why Your Anger Is the Key to Maintaining Your Boundaries

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom.” ~Henry Cloud

Late last night, I once again found myself unable to sleep, and boy was I angry. So, in order not to disturb my other half, who is always asleep the moment his head touches the pillow, I dragged myself off to the sofa. Once there, sat seething in the dark, I listened to my …

When Life Gets Hard: 4 Lessons That Eased My Suffering

By in Blog, change & challenges

“In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning.” ~Viktor Frankl

When life goes sideways, it can be hard to take one more breath, let alone find meaning.

Trust me. I know.

In the same year, I had breast cancer, chemo, radiation, and a divorce I didn’t want. There’s more to the story (there always is), but in essence, I lost everything—my health, my love, my home.

During all of this, I lost sight of myself, quit trusting myself. I was sure I was to blame for everything.

At the same time, within twenty-four …

When You’re Becoming a New You: 3 Lessons to Help You on Your Journey

By in Blog, change & challenges

“There is no place so awake and alive as the edge of becoming.” ~Sue Monk Kidd

From a small café overlooking the boat harbor in Seward, Alaska, I looked out the window at the enormous mountain peak of Mount Alice that protruded from the earth behind rows of tour boats, sailboats, and a cruise ship large enough to carry several thousand passengers. The last few days of my summer there were coming to an end, and I reflected with gratitude on my time there.

Located directly off the Gulf of Alaska and within Kenai Fjords National Park, Seward is a …

Measuring the Quality of Your Day with a To-Be List (Not Just a To-Do List)

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Don’t equate your self-worth with how well you do in life.  You aren’t what you do. If you are what you do, then when you don’t…you aren’t.” ~Wayne Dyer

As you crawl into bed, thump your pillow to make the perfect little cave for your head to rest in, pull the covers up tight under your chin, and let go of that big sigh that indicates the day is finished, how do you look back on the waking hours you just experienced? How do you measure the quality of your day?

Measuring Your Day by What You Do

Most of …

Forbidden Emotions: The Feelings We Suppress and Why They’re Not Bad

By in Blog, change & challenges

“The truth is that there is no such thing as a negative emotion. Emotions only become ‘bad’ and have a negative effect on us when they are suppressed, denied, or unexpressed.” ~Colin Tipping

Emotions are constantly and powerfully guiding our lives, even when we are not aware of them, even when we do not feel them or are convinced that we can exclude them from our experiences.

Emotions give us precious, sometimes indispensable information about what is best for us, about the best choices we can make, about how to behave. They give us information that we often do not …