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Category “change & challenges”

4 Steps to Deal with Disappointment

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“Don’t let today’s disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dreams.” ~Unknown

For me, disappointment is one of life’s most uncomfortable feelings. It’s complex, containing a subset of other emotions like anger, hurt, sadness, and probably many others too subtle to identify.

Sometimes, those emotions by themselves are easier to deal with, but disappointment can leave me at a loose end.

I might not be sure whether I should feel angry, or just impatiently wish that I would hurry up and get over it. Disappointment can hover at the front of your mind and niggle at the back, bringing you …

How to Stop Gossiping and Creating Drama

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“If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind” –Buddha

Last week my twenty-year-old friend, Dustin, called me out when I was talking negatively about someone to a group of people.

We were sitting around a dinner table at what should have been a really good planning meeting for an upcoming yoga workshop our group was holding.

While we were excited about the out-of-town teachers who were coming to share their incredible knowledge with us for a week, we were stuck on a topic that was both irrelevant and unproductive. That topic …

We Are All Imperfect: How to Own it & Keep Growing

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“Be what you are. This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.” ~Julius Charles Hare

A few weeks ago, I made a mistake.

I wrote a newsletter about my relationship with money, explaining that I used to get worried about money, but I feel differently now. I wrote that I’d realized that doing what I love is the most important thing.

As long as I am doing what I loved, I don’t have to feel anxious. I trust that the money will appear, without me having to chase it.

After I sent the newsletter out to …

Embrace Flexibility to Create Positive Change

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“If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.” ~Jack Dixon

Living without flexibility in the way we act and see the world leaves us at a severe disadvantage.

I always wanted to be one of those people with incredible drive. The kind of people who don’t take no for an answer. As I became more and more like my ideal, I learned that trying to control everything just doesn’t pan out in the long run.

Real power comes from flexibility, not rigidity. Let me explain.

This fact is well known …

Freedom in a Life Full of Problems

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“Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.” ~Jean-Paul Sartre

Sometimes it seems like life is conspiring against you.

This often happens just after a moment of pure joy. You’re walking down the street thinking, “Wow, I am so unbelievably lucky to be alive.” A few hours later, you get an email saying you’ve lost your job. Or you’re in danger of getting deported. Or your cat’s been run over.

For many people, these situations seem to be completely out of their hands.

The thing is, every problem has a solution, and usually more than one. We …

How to Become More Assertive to Seize Opportunities

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“In the long run we get no more than we have been willing to risk giving.” ~Sheldon Kopp

It was a foggy day in the city. We decided to go to the Science Academy in San Francisco—me and the most beautiful girl I’ve ever known.

We entered the aquarium. There was a blissful haze surrounding the room. There was a swirl of people going around. Yet, everything went into slow-motion. It was like there was an imaginary spotlight on her, and I gave her my full attention.

I was mesmerized by her voice, eyes, and everything about her, really. Then …

5 Steps to Reinvent Yourself: Create the Future You Visualize

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“You’re never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” ~C. S. Lewis

Change means reinvention. Each time a major shift happens in our lives—leaving a job or a relationship, moving, losing a loved one—we have to choose who we want to become or risk never reaching our full potential.

I’ve reinvented myself several times in my life. Most adults have.

But what I always forget is that we have to choose reinvention. Each time I’ve done it, I’ve forged my new path deliberately and with foresight.

When I’ve waited for my future to find me, I’ve …

Transforming Negative Thoughts & Creating the Life You Desire

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“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.” ~Lao Tzu

In my quest for personal development, I’ve done a ton of processing, meditating, reading, praying, exercising, eating well, and helping other people. All of these things are amazing, and I still do them regularly, but none of it matters if I don’t guard my thoughts as though my life depends on it.

The quality of my life literally depends on my thoughts.

I never thought of myself as a negative person, and most people who know me will tell you I’m a bubbly, outgoing, …

The Right Direction: Releasing the Past and Getting Unstuck

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“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” ~Proverb

It’s been a year since I stumbled upon Tiny Buddha. At the time I was in a difficult place, emotionally, mentally, and physically.

I felt as if life was pointless and that there was nothing for me in the world: no room, no hope, no opportunity, no relief from the chronic tiredness and pain, and no love. I’d given up.

I spent my days staring at the walls and at my computer, trying to find something to make me feel better, to …

How to Stop Playing the Blame Game

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“Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

The most common conversation I have with other people includes the blame game.

The one where your job, your wife, your dog, your mother-in-law, your neighbor six doors down, the media, the government, the receptionist at your doctor’s office, or the dressmaker who measured you wrong is somehow responsible for the problems you’re having.

I too played the blame game.

I intentionally left a marriage that I was very unhappy in and then blamed him for everything. My finances, my unhappiness, my fluctuating weight, …

Growing Pains: When Becoming Something New Feels Scary

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“The moment in between what you once were, and who you are now becoming, is where the dance of life really takes place.” ~Barbara De Angelis

When we were kids, my dad used to measure us as we grew taller. On the back of the door of the laundry chute, he would keep track of me and my two sisters.

Every six months or so, he’d take out the ruler and lay it right on the top of our heads and mark the door. When we’d step away, we’d notice that we grew a few inches since the last time. …

We Are Never Alone in the Storm

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“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

Like so many others living in Florida, my family was deeply affected by hurricane Charlie in August of 2004.  We have completely recovered financially some years later, but the gravity of the situation leaves feelings close to the surface.

Our particular community was heavily hit by what were called spin-off tornadoes. Most people in Orlando did not believe the storm was coming our way.  We had little notice that the storm path had changed from the forecaster’s prediction.

A friend from Jacksonville called and said, …

When to Go with the Flow & When to Expand Your Comfort Zone

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“Be bold, be bold, and everywhere be bold.” ~Herbert Spencer

I’m actually much more of a proponent of “going with the flow” then going against it. And sometimes forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do can be considered going against the flow.

But I do that for a different reason, and not everyone would agree.

I have two schools of thought. On the one hand, expansion is inevitable. We’re always called to become more than we are in life. It’s the nature of being human.

On the other hand, there’s something called “homeostasis.” Like a thermostat that’s …

Growing through Challenges: How Intentions Shape Our Lives

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“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” ~Bernice Johnson Reagon

The last five years of my life involved a lot of self-inflicted stress and tremendous spiritual growth.

In 2003 I made a decision that would have a major impact on my life without realizing my true intentions.

While knowing the financial safety net was not securely in place, I decided to remain at home with my daughter instead of returning to work. Previously, when I left our first child in the care of someone else at ten months old, I …

Cracking Your Comfort Zone: How to Face a Fear

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“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” ~Unknown

I’m about to write something that’s freaky and a bit philosophical, but true. Really take this in: You become your comfort zone.

Getting out of your comfort zone is crucial to actualizing your aspirations.

If you want something that you don’t already have, there’s a good chance you’ll have to do things that you haven’t already done.

Doing those things may not feel natural to you. You may even feel uncomfortable and awkward. But ultimately, behind the frightening facade of fear is a bigger version …

Does Life Just Happen to You?

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“The more light you allow within you, the brighter the world you live in will be.” ~Shakti

Does life just happen to you?

Would it be safe to suggest that a lot of people wake up each morning, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch television, go to bed, and repeat the same course of events Monday through Friday, without ever being fully conscious of what they’re doing?

The events listed above may differ for some people, but the point is still the same. Does life just happen to you, or do you consciously …

Having Faith: Why Do We Expect the Worst in Tomorrow?

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“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~John Allen Paulos

Over the past few years, as I’ve settled into my late twenties, life seems to have opened the flood gates to a number of lessons and realities. With each of these hardships or challenges I’ve overcome, I’ve taken with me a lesson of new wisdom, deeper compassion, self-awareness, humility, and empathy for others.

On that same note, I have also noticed that with each experience, I seem to begin treading more carefully in my approach to future situations, treating …

Let Go of Negative Feelings: 3 Ways to Watch Them Disappear

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“Some people think it’s holding that makes one strong–sometimes it’s letting go.” ~Unknown

I’m the divorced mother of two teenage girls. Holidays are split; the girls have Thanksgiving with their dad and Christmas with me on even-numbered years, and vice versa on odd number years. It’s hard on all of us, but it has been especially hard on me this year.

This year I had Thanksgiving with my girls the weekend before Thanksgiving and asked if they wanted come over on Black Friday to set up the Christmas tree, as was the tradition before. They said sure.

I called them …

5 Tips To Help You To Discover Your Maximum Potential

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“You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Don’t doubt yourself. You are more than enough.

You are good enough. If no one else tells you that, I will reaffirm that you are good enough to do whatever you want in life. Life is too short for you to paralyze yourself with doubts.

I used to doubt my capabilities, and I was so unhappy and frustrated with life. I tried to bury myself in self-help books to find the answers to achieve success and happiness. One …

Starting a New Life: The Courage of a Seed

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“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” ~Lao Tzu

At lunch the other day, a new friend and I were discussing changes in our lives and how everything feels very new and different.

I remembered the most beautiful description Mark Nepo wrote in The Book of Awakening. Mark is a poet, and he sees the world through such a lovely light. His work opens my heart to images I’ve never thought about that are so compelling.

I can see the way Mark describes the process of change in my own life. He …