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Breaking Free from the Pain of Heartbreak

By in Blog, love & relationships

Heartbreak

“Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.” ~Unknown

Heartbreak. I have never felt anything as torturous.

It’s been just over a year since my first real heartbreak, and finally, after more pain and tears than I can describe, I have started to move on.

The loss of a love you believed to be true can leave you feeling shattered. No matter how independent you believed you were, and how many positive things everyone else believes about you, you may feel like the better half of everything you know has …

Choose to Be Kind When It’s Easier to Be Snarky

By in Blog, love & relationships

Finger Art Couple

“Tart words make no friends; a spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.” ~Ben Franklin

While I was pregnant, a friend told me to prioritize, in this order: self, marriage, kids.

My priorities tend to be backward: kids above all else, maybe a date night once in a while, and self-care only when there’s an important meeting at work, so momma finally makes a point of grooming her eyebrows.

So far, I appreciate the wisdom to try and shift priorities whenever I can. I feel mildly successful at putting marriage first, and it seems to …

Embrace Who You Are (Not What People Expect You to Be)

By in Blog, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

Man with Arms Up in the Air

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” ~Brené Brown

Now that the fog of what everyone else wanted for me has lifted, it seems so clear to me that we need to be who we truly are—not what society expects us to be. But it wasn’t always this way.

For decades, I bought into a model of success that belonged to someone else. I was studying for my MBA, but I didn’t want my friends to think I was weird, so I didn’t reveal that …

Making a Big Decision When You’re Not Sure Which Choice Is Right

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~Viktor Frankl

Over the last two and a half years, I have made some big changes in my life. And by big, I mean enormous.

First, I moved with my husband and our children from a home I loved for ten years. Shortly after, my husband and I ended a twenty-year relationship and marriage. With that separation, I made the decision to buy the house we had moved to, which on paper, I shouldn’t have been able to buy.

Apparently ending a long commitment and beginning …

The Secret to Replacing Agitation with Calmness

By in Blog, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

Calm Man

“Calmness is the cradle of power.” ~Josiah Gilbert Holland

I was interested, recently, to find that our local supermarket had set up an area with ten self-service checkouts. For years I‘d accepted the normal method of bagging and paying for my stuff. No stress there. But they’d installed some new technology and I was keen to give it a try.

All new things bring with them hiccups or small difficulties of some kind. The self-service area was no exception.

Sure, I did receive the correct change. And, it was definitely the fun experience I looked forward to. However, a queuing …

Fairy Tale Endings Don’t Exist (but Real Love Can Be Better)

By in Blog, love & relationships

Fairy Tale

“You cannot live with expectations because life has no obligation to fulfill your desires. You can live with an open heart, but you cannot live with expectations.” ~Osho

Will you marry me?

These four life-changing words have been haunting me for a while. Like many other girls in long-term relationships, I waited anxiously for the day I’d get to say yes. But does anyone really know what they’re saying yes to?

When you’re in your late twenties, it seems your entire network of friends and acquaintances pair up, some in a desperate frenzy to not end up alone. And not …

Being Strong

By in Fun & Inspiring

Being Strong

Why Losing Weight Might Not Make You Happy (and What Will)

By in Blog, healthy habits

Love Every Bit of Yourself

“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits—anything that kept me small. My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.” ~Kim McMillen 

Sometimes people ask us questions that change our lives, questions that require us to dig down deep and think about what’s really important. Questions that push the envelope and show us that maybe the direction we’re going in isn’t the one we want.

My cousin, unknowingly, asked me one of those questions over ten years ago:

“Well, this is what you always wanted. …

The Most Common Cause for Overeating and How to Overcome It

By in Blog, healthy habits

Woman with Cookie

“When we run from our feelings, they follow us. Everywhere.” ~Martha Beck, Ph.D

I’ve tried Paleo, The 4-Hour Body, even Body for Life.

I’ve tried intermittent fasting. (That was no fun.)

I’ve tried low-carb, carb-cycling, and carb-binging. (While I don’t think that’s a diet strategy, it was what I experienced.)

Sure, I lost weight temporarily, but I never felt like I “arrived.” I never felt…good.

Ironically, it took me gaining weight to learn the secret.

How Will I Know When I’ve “Arrived”?

Is there an image inside your head of what you “should” look like?

I …

5 Proven Ways to Create a Happy, Fulfilling Life

By in Blog, happiness & fun

Happiness

“It is not in the pursuit of happiness that we find fulfillment, it is in the happiness of pursuit.” ~Denis Waitley

Happiness.

You want it. You seek it. You wonder about it.

You’re constantly reminded that you are living in one of the greatest times ever.

Violence is lower than ever before in human history.

The quality of life we experience in Western countries is higher than it’s ever been.

And you’re bombarded with advice, tips, and tricks on how to construct your diet for optimal physical health, with minimal time and effort.

However, you can’t help but wonder: …

Enter to Win $500 at Thrive Market (A New Online Health Food Store)

By in Blog, healthy habits

Thrive_FB_Banner

Have you ever noticed that unhealthy food is a lot cheaper and easier to get than healthy food? You can zip through a drive thru and get an entire meal off the dollar menu without losing more than five minutes or five bucks.

Because I was busy and on a budget, I formerly ate a steady diet of processed, packaged food, which did very little for my energy level.

I didn’t realize at the time how poorly I was meeting my nutritional needs, or how I was poisoning my body with artificial ingredients and chemicals, but I knew I frequently …

Just Breathe: A Message from Children on the Power of Mindfulness

By in Fun & Inspiring

Just breathe. Such simple advice, and yet it can be so tough to remember when we feel caught up in our emotions. Imagine what the world would be like if we all learned the power of mindfulness as kids. Imagine what it would be like if we all made an effort to practice this as adults.

Interview and Book Giveaway: 10 Habits of Truly Optimistic People

By in Blog, happiness & fun

Smiley

Update: The winners for this giveaway are:

I have a confession to make—I sometimes cringe when someone tells me to “just be positive.” I’ve often assumed this really means, “Your sadness is making me uncomfortable, so please stop talking about it.”

To be fair, I wouldn’t classify myself as a negative person—not now, anyways—though I have my moments. I do, however, feel for anyone who might be classified that way, as I know from experience that deep negativity often comes from deep pain.

We all face our own battles in life, some more overwhelming than others. And …

4 Tips to Start Loving and Stop Criticizing Yourself

By in Blog

Happy Woman

“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~Louise L. Hay

I used to give myself quite a hard time. I felt like I wasn’t measuring up or doing enough or achieving as much as my peers.

I decided to make a note of the way I was speaking to myself and treating myself. What I found surprised me.

I noticed that I’d berate myself for days if something didn’t go exactly to plan, convinced that there was something wrong with me and that was why I had messed …

When All You Can Do is Breathe

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

Just Breathe

“Don’t try to change anything at all, just breathe and let go. Breathe and let be… in your mind and in your heart, give yourself permission to allow this moment to be exactly as it is, and allow yourself to be exactly as you are.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

I watched him breathe. In. Out. In. Out. Sometimes I’d move closer to his tiny body in his hospital bed just to see if I could get him to move a bit, wanting to boost the comfort of in and out with a roll to the side or an eye flicker.

This all …

Let Go of Who You Think Should Be and Become Who You Want to Be

By in Blog

Happy Man

“Do not become a stranger to yourself by blending in with everyone else.” ~Dodinsky

I spent many decades of my life trying to be person I was expected to be.

It was partly the kind of expectations our parents impose on us, but also those from society, combined with the worst ones of all: the expectations I had put on myself.

For example, the story of who “I should be” had told me that:

  • I had to be a hard worker, a great student, and an overachiever.
  • I had to be responsible.
  • I had to be serious.
  • I had to
…

Being Kind to Others Is Being Kind to Yourself

By in Blog, love & relationships

Kindness

“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” ~John Holmes

I moved to Vermont to work at a ski lodge the day after I turned twenty-two.

I had finished college six months earlier; September 11th had made finding a “real” job in my field pretty much impossible, and I was ready for adventure.

Somehow I had been hired to be the head waitress in the lodge’s basement eatery, where we served family-style meals every single morning and six nights a week.

I had no waitressing experience whatsoever; I’m pretty sure I was …

The Difference Between True Love and Love Addiction

By in Blog, love & relationships

“We often say ‘love’ when we really mean, and are acting out, an addiction—a sterile, ingrown dependency relationship, with another person serving as the object of our need for security.” ~Stanton Peele

When I was sixteen, I fell in love. At least I thought I did. I had all the symptoms—quickened pulse, butterflies, and a head so full of him that all my pain and all my problems magically disappeared when we were together.

I called this love.

And why wouldn’t I? Why wouldn’t any young girl? Isn’t that what love is—when you can’t live without each other, when you …

5 Questions to Ask Yourself If You’re in a Toxic Relationship

By in Blog, love & relationships

Toxic Relationship

“My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.” ~Henry Ford

A few days ago, a close friend called me and asked for advice on whether he should end a toxic relationship with his ex-girlfriend. He still loved her as a human being, but he felt that she was using him for her own personal needs, such as a ride from the airport, and did not truly care about his well-being.

I thought back to my most recent relationship challenge.

A while back, I moved in with a group of close friends, after breaking up with …

How to End the Persistent Feeling of Emptiness

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion

Man on a Mountain

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” ~Buddha

Admit it…

Emptiness has taken over.

You think back to those exciting days when you had so much energy. You remember that burning feeling of raw energy deep down in your stomach. That shiver of excitement running through your body. When life was just alive with positive emotions running wild. It was incredible.

And you can’t help but think…

Where has it gone? How did I lose it? Will it ever come back?

You think if you keep moving, everything …