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When (and When Not) to Take Advice

By in Blog, change & challenges

 

“Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.” ~Erica Jong

I’ve received all kinds of advice in my life, both welcome and unwelcome. Most of this advice is easy to divide into two piles: “good” or “bad.”

“Good” advice: when somebody makes a suggestion and I think, “Oh, of course!” It might be advice about how to improve a poem, or how to peel a mango. This kind of advice is easy to take.

“Bad” advice: when somebody makes a suggestion and I have a clear sense that I don’t agree …

Book Giveaway and Review: A Lamp in the Darkness

By in Blog, Giveaway, letting go, mindfulness & peace

Update: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The 5 winners:

“Sometimes we have to go right into the fire in order to find our true healing.” ~Jack Kornfield

No matter who you are, no matter what you’ve accomplished, no matter how well you’ve planned, you will deal with challenges in life. We all will. And many times, they will hit us unexpectedly.

We will all lose things and people we love. We will all make mistakes and …

4 Key Questions to Feel Fully Fulfilled and Content

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“The person who lives life fully, glowing with life’s energy, is the person who lives a successful life.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

More often than not when we want to create something new or different in our lives, our true yearning is not about what we want to do on the outside that will make us feel fulfilled and content, but a certain way we want to feel in ourselves.

That fancy car might give us a feeling of power, or esteem, or pride. That successful business might make us feel like we “arrived” or we are recognized. That trip to Nepal …

Tiny Wisdom: We Get to Decide if Today Counts

By in Change, Hope, Perspective, Possibilities, Quotes

“The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment.” -Pema Chodron

A while back, a reader commented that it’s easy for me to suggest tomorrow is full of possibilities, since I am relatively young. An older woman, she believed her options were far more limited, and that even if she could do the things she wanted to do, they wouldn’t count–not at her age.

My first instinct was to start a conversation about mindfulness, since no one is ever guaranteed more than the present. Even young people don’t know for certain that they have decades more …

Being Patient through Transformation: Trust, Change, Believe

By in Blog, change & challenges, work fulfillment

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” ~Charles R. Swindoll

Ever noticed a chrysalis hidden within its cocoon? The final few moments before it emerges as a butterfly compose what science terms as metamorphosis, a transformation.

If you have been lucky enough to observe this process, which I highly recommend watching, you’d notice it has to struggle quite a bit before it gets all the attention for being the magnificent creature it is.

It’s long and painful. However, while watching it, you may be tempted to clip off the outer covering of …

Tiny Wisdom: Are You Afraid of Success?

By in Confidence, Courage, Greatness, Quotes, Success

“Success will never be a big step in the future; success is a small step taken just now.”  ~Jonatan Mårtensson

We often talk about releasing the fear of failure to create motivation and momentum, but I’ve found that there’s another obstacle that can keep us from taking risks: the fear of success.

Success in any pursuit requires responsibility. At one point, I decided this was one thing I didn’t want. I didn’t want people to depend on me. I didn’t want to create conditions in my life that I needed to maintain with consistency, both in effort and earning.

I …

What You Need to Live a Life of Purpose

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“The purpose of life is a life of purpose.” ~Robin Sharma

I can remember the feelings so vividly—the emptiness, the yearning, the confusion, the lacking, and the depression. They all merged together, and they always seemed to present themselves at the worst possible times.

The simplest things, like getting out of bed in the morning, felt so heavy. The best joys in life, like being with family and creating new connections, felt unsatisfying. Things were  hard and almost unbearable.

I didn’t understand what was creating these feelings, or what I needed to do to change them.

It sounds like such …

Tiny Wisdom: You Make a Difference

By in Greatness, Meaning, Motivation, Possibilities, Quotes

“Act as if what you do makes a difference.  It does.”  -William James

Last year, someone emailed me Seth Godin’s inspiring blog post You Matter. That one act made a huge difference in my day, so I’d like to build on that now.

  • When you show up for the people in your life, even though you’re having a hard day, you make a difference.
  • When you share what you’re dealing with, even though it makes you feel vulnerable, and help other people through your honesty, you make a difference.
  • When you practice what you preach, you make a
…

How to Maintain a Relationship with a Loved One Who’s Hurt You

By in Blog, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~Paul Boese

In a previous post about forgiveness, I mentioned that I spent years holding onto anger toward someone who hurt me repeatedly years ago.

I eventually realized that forgiving this person was the only way to set myself free. The resentment, bitterness, and sometimes pure rage were slowly killing me. They manifested in emotional and physical illness, constricting my life so that I was little more than the sum of my grievances and pains.

At many points I strongly believed my emotions would consume me, bit …

Tiny Wisdom: What Is Truly Great

By in Greatness, Leadership, Quotes

“To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.” -Charles de Montesquieu

There is a very specific type of post I look for when reading guest contributions. It’s not expert advice, though clearly it helps to have a thorough knowledge of a topic. It’s not beautiful prose, though obviously it’s enjoyable to receive a post that reads like poetry.

What I look for is bravery in honesty. You can clarify the wording and expand on the advice, but you can’t create authenticity through editing.

I’d far prefer to read a post about depression from someone …

Changing Your Reality: Turning Hurts into Lessons

By in Blog, change & challenges, meaning & passion

“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~Mary Engelbreit

I wrote a letter to my dad on his 70th birthday this past May. Since it was a milestone of a year, I wanted to really give him something that would be meaningful; however, my ideas weren’t actual items. I sat at my computer and poured my heart into a letter.

Suddenly my mind flashed to a time when writing and creating were constants in my life. I had been honored and recognized for my writing beginning …

Tiny Wisdom: Not Taking No for an Answer

By in Challenges, Confidence, Determination, Quotes, Success

“Never allow a person to tell you no who doesn’t have the power to say yes.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

Many times in life we ask questions of people and then put way too much weight on their answers.

We ask people we admire if they think we have what it takes, and then consider their opinions fact. We ask people we respect if they think we should take a chance, and then follow their advice as law. We ask people if they’ll take a chance on us, and then interpret their response to be a reflection of our potential.

Other people …

How to Ask for Help from People You Respect

By in Blog, change & challenges

I’m in the middle of self-publishing my first book. Ever since college, I dreamed of publishing my work and now I’m enjoying the reality of going for it.

For weeks, I’ve gathered testimonials. As you may know, they are powerful tools, especially when the people providing them are recognizable to the target reader.

My challenge: how do I get testimonials from all these people I respect? Well, I’ll tell you what I did and how I failed before I understood what worked best.

Asking

The first answer to how one gets help is “by asking.” Yes, some people miss that …

Tiny Wisdom: The Real Meaning of Abundance

By in Gratitude, Quotes

“Not what we have but what we enjoy constitutes our abundance.” ~Epicurus

It’s such a cliche, but true: money cannot buy happiness. It can influence happiness, since it can afford us necessities, a comfortable lifestyle, and opportunities that may increase our overall life satisfaction; but money, in itself, is not the abundance we seek.

The other day, I read about a research study that revealed the majority of participants would rather earn more money than their peers than earn more over a period of years. In other words, they’d sacrifice wealth for an increased sense of pride and status.

I …

3 Things Tweens Teach Us about Living and Enjoying Life

By in Blog, happiness & fun


“If it’s not fun, you’re not doing it right.” ~Bob Basso

Work, Eat, Sleep. Work, Eat Sleep.

We all get wrapped up in this humdrum cycle of life consisting of working, eating, and sleeping, then waking up a few hours later to do it all over again.

This year it’s been particularly challenging for me to find ways to create balance and keep ahold of my sanity when the grind includes growing my small business, completing a new home with my husband, and settling into our first year as newlyweds who have yet to take a honeymoon.

And then it …

Tiny Wisdom: When You’re Not Sure If You’ve Changed

By in Change, Patience, Quotes

“Change is not a process for the impatient.” -Barbara Reinhold

A while back, a Tiny Buddha contributor commented that she was feeling like a fraud for struggling to take advice she’d offered in an article. I told her I could relate. I’ve written more than 600 wisdom-themed blog posts over the past few years, meaning there is abundant potential for me to contradict something I’ve previously explored in my writing.

Sometimes when I am not mindful, or kind, or stress-free, or clearly happier and more peaceful than I once was, I start to wonder if I’ve even changed at all. …

Overwhelmed by Your To-Do List? How to Decide What to Do Now

By in Blog, work fulfillment

Overwhelmed Woman

“It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward.” ~Proverb

I’ve been mentoring writers for years, and one problem many of them run into is that they have so many ideas and projects that they don’t know where to start. They may want to write for big-name magazines, draft a novel, sell a nonfiction book, start a blog, and write an e-book.

Each of these projects has dozens of to-do items associated with it. Where to start? They’re so confused that they do nothing at all.…

Tiny Wisdom: What Fear Really Means

By in Fear, Quotes

“Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real.” -Unknown

Sometimes we feel certain that we know exactly what we’re seeing. If you’re anything like me, odds are you’ve had plenty of opportunities to recognize your perception is often off.

A friend of mine once told me a story about a near-confrontation in the subway. She saw another woman dressed in what one might call Gothic clothing. Although my friend’s look was more conservative, she loved the other woman’s funky-looking shirt.

Unintentionally, she stared at it for a while, admiring the unique cut and wondering if she could pull that look off. When they …

5 Steps to Push Through Fear

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious.” ~Rumi

This summer, I drove up Highway 5 from Los Angeles on my way to Grass Valley to visit my friend Carol, a painting teacher, for a week of painting in her studio. I can’t remember the last time I hit the road on my own for an eight-hour drive to nature.

I forgot what it was like to crank up the stereo listening to old tunes, straining my vocal cords to and singing full voice off key.

On my right, I saw semi trucks making deliveries …

Tiny Wisdom: When It’s Time to Stop Hoping

By in Courage, Happiness, Hope, Quotes, Strength

“The natural flights of the human mind are not from pleasure to pleasure but from hope to hope.” -Samuel Johnson

You’ll find lots of inspiring posts that suggest you hold onto hope against all odds and push through difficult times with your eye on a light down the road. This isn’t one of them. Sometimes hope is a beautiful thing. It can motivate, empower, and inspire you when you’re tempted to give up. But other times it just keeps you stuck.

When you push through today for a better tomorrow, without doing anything to create that new possibility, your hope …