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Recognizing Our Patterns and Learning How to Change Them

By in Blog, change & challenges

“What we call chaos is just patterns we haven’t recognized. What we call random is just patterns we can’t decipher.” ~Chuck Palahniuk 

Life has a funny way of teaching us lessons. When there is something you need to learn, something that you need to work on, the same situation will continue to repeat itself until you either learn your lesson or find a healthy way of dealing with that particular issue.

Think of the movie Groundhog Day. It was one of my favorites. Once Bill Murray realized that he was living the same day over and over again, he …

Learning to Embrace Change as Opportunity, Not Loss

By in Blog, change & challenges

“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.” ~Lao Tzu

Two years ago my life as I knew it changed forever. No, I was not diagnosed with a disease, nor did I lose someone special or have a near-death experience. I actually gained some pretty amazing things: a new house, two dogs, living with my partner, and the chance to be a full-time stepmom to his two children.

But I did not initially view this change in a truly positive light.

After the dissolution of a long-term relationship, I had spent several years …

Develop Self-Confidence: 7 Lies You Need to Stop Telling Yourself

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun, meaning & passion, mindfulness & peace

“Be honest with yourself, and you will find the motivation to do what you advise others to do.” ~Vince Poscente

What if you could only tell—and more importantly, only believe—the truth? Not the half-truth, the white lies, or the other grey in between, but the pure, beautiful, and unadulterated truth.

If I had to pick one super power, it would be to know the liars from the truth-tellers. I would walk around in public places, eavesdrop on conversations, and know immediately if someone is lying or being honest.

I would go to social events and exercise my super power …

Transform Your Life: Lasting Change Starts from Within

By in Blog, change & challenges

“All meaningful and lasting change starts on the inside and works its way out.” ~Anon

My life has been a journey of self-discovery—at times a very bumpy journey. I spent most of my life feeling angry with people and hurt because the way they treated me.

People would not always do what I expected of them, and this disappointed me. I used fear to get them to comply with my demands.

One day, my baby girl looked at me and said, “Dad, you don’t have to shout at me to make me love you.” My heart nearly exploded, and it …

Tiny Wisdom: The Things We Don’t Want to Do

By in Quotes

“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Every now and then, I get an email from someone telling me I should attend or speak at some conference that attracts lots of passionate bloggers or inspiring people interested in personal development.

A part of me always feels a little conflicted when I receive an invitation or suggestion regarding an event like this because I think I should want to go, but I …

Creating Change by Leveraging the Power of Intention

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Our intention creates our reality.” ~Wayne Dyer

I got divorced a few years ago. It wasn’t pretty. We started out saying it would all happen amicably.

But we owned a business together. How much the business was worth at separation, we each contested. It dragged out. We finally got it done with after much pain and suffering.

And it just confirmed what I believed: Where money is involved, things get ugly.

I remember while I was living in Spain, it happened then too. I was living with a group of men and women who were working for social justice in …

What to Do When You’re New: In School, Work, or Your City

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun

“If you light a lamp for somebody, it will also brighten your path.” ~Buddhist saying

Moving to a new country as a kid can be traumatizing because of the challenges of fitting into a new culture and new social customs.

When I arrived in Northern California at the age of ten with my parents and younger two brothers, we were excited about being in America (home of Disneyland) but apprehensive about our how our classmates would react to us and how we would fit into the social environment of a school in a new country.

My earliest memories of …

40 Little Things That Make a Big Difference in Your Day

By in Blog, Featured, happiness & fun

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ~Robert Brault

I believe life is in the details. Ongoing small gestures can mean so much more than one grand display of love. Simple pleasures throughout the day can be far more gratifying that one amazing weekend. When you connect the dots between all these little joys, life seems fuller and more satisfying.

I’ve created a list of all the little things that fill me with bliss. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

1. Breakfast in bed. You don’t need someone to …

You Deserve Love, Including Your Own

By in Blog, love & relationships

“The amount of happiness that you have depends on the amount of freedom you have in your heart.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Several years ago, I was in an unhealthy and unhappy relationship. It didn’t start out that way, of course. During the first year that we were together, I was in heaven. I was blissfully happy and everything seemed perfect.

My partner and I were so in love and happy just to be together; you couldn’t keep us apart.

It was years later that the trouble started. It was when my husband reconnected with a woman from his past …

7 Ways to Manage a Break Up and Work Through the Pain

By in Blog, love & relationships

Break-Up

“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” ~Dalai Lama

Some breakups are so bad that they make you hate the sunshine. It’s up there gleaming, looking down on you, being all sunny despite the fact that you feel like a slice of hell. The suffering is relentless. The sky is ugly.

The ending of my last relationship was awful. I think it hurt as bad as it did because this wasn’t some random young woman who had just walked into my life. This was someone whom …

When Thoughts Cause Stress: Steps on the Path to Mindfulness

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” ~Charles Swindoll

The notion that how we feel is directly caused by events around us, or directly involving us, is a scourge of our modern times. To believe that the external world and its perceived relationship to us is the major determinative factor in how we feel (“I can’t believe he/she said that to me—that’s so outrageous!”) is disempowering and self-destructive.

We impose our “shoulds” on what we perceive as “the world out there,” and then when it fails to live up to our arbitrary and …

Giveaway and Interview: Seeing, Knowing, Being by John Greer

By in Blog, Giveaway, mindfulness & peace

Note: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails, and to learn about future giveaways!

The winners:

Regardless of our individual beliefs, we all want to feel a sense of wholeness to experience the present moment with peace and connection.

It’s the foundation of spiritual practice, however we define that individually: We want to stop feeling a need to fix ourselves, and instead awaken to the infinite beauty of who we already are.

In his powerful new book Seeing, Knowing, Being, meditation teacher John …

The Beauty of Nothing: Reflections on Impermanence

By in Blog, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“Everything flows and nothing abides, everything gives way and nothing stays fixed.” ~Heraclitus 

I’m reclining on a pebble beach, my bag tucked under my head, a can of Fanta to the right of me, above me, the sky and before me, the sea. It’s a few miles out.

I came here alone. Friends had no time for me today. I’ve been reading instead, the cast of Anna Karenina filling the places where friends should be, and eating rich Italian ice cream, fudge flavored, even though it’ll give me an upset stomach later.

The sun is scorching everything today, partner-in-crime with …

Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Life

By in Blog, change & challenges

“He who has health has hope, and he who has hope has everything.” ~Proverb

As I start a new day, grateful that I am pain-free, healthy, and strong, I reflect on the true meaning of health and how I ended up in this wonderful place.

An outsider looking in might say I worked hard in the gym and spent thousands of dollars on treatments and services.

I would simply say that I believed and continue to believe—and that is all.

Four years ago, I was defeated by a diagnosis called Sacroiliac Joint Dysfunction. What this means is that abnormalities in …

Tiny Wisdom: Think Less, Feel More

By in Quotes

“Get out of your head and get into your heart. Think less, feel more.” ~Osho

Have you ever felt attached to your thoughts—like you knew you were thinking yourself in circles, but a part of you wanted to keep getting dizzy?

Now that I’m healthy and energized, three months after my surgery, I’m developing a consistent yoga practice again, and I’m feeling better mentally and physically as a result of doing that.

But sometimes, when I get to the end of the day, particularly when I know I have a lot to do, I feel resistant to making that time …

How Worrying Makes Life Less Joyful

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow. It only saps today of its joy.” ~Leo Bucaglia

As I stood on the street corner, tears streaming down my face, I called friends for confirmation that what I had just been told wasn’t true.

My meeting with my “friend” had gone horribly wrong. And when I say gone wrong, that’s because she was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong!

But what if she wasn’t wrong?

What if her words, which stung so badly that I couldn’t stop myself from crying publicly, were true?

Two weeks prior to this fateful day, three families had gotten …

Simple Reminders to Focus on What Matters in Life

By in Blog, happiness & fun, meaning & passion, mindfulness & peace

“Before someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, appreciate them today.” ~Michelle C. Ustaszeski

As tough as it sometimes feels, change and loss are woven into life. We cannot live a full life without them.

Although both can be painful, they push us into a greater understanding of what matters in life, and they can help us become clearer about who we are since they provide a platform for substantial growth.

Over the past couple of years I’ve experienced many changes as I’ve transitioned from one chapter to the next. The one constant through all of …

Creating Peace by Finding a Connection to the Earth

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“You get peace of mind not by thinking about it or imagining it, but by quietening and relaxing the restless mind.” ~Remez Sasson

In a world that constantly barrages us with information, it becomes a daily struggle to unplug and find peace. The “need to” and “should do” and “must do” of our ever-frantic lives overwhelms us and creates a stress that threatens to unravel.

As a child my happiest days were those spent outdoors. Even then, peace came while watching the flowers bend in the wind and the clouds stretch across the sky.

As an adult it became …

When You Fear Making the “Wrong” Decision

By in Blog, change & challenges, meaning & passion

“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.” ~Pema Chodron

For the past three weeks, I’ve been trying to decide whether or not to move to Korea for a year. Some days I’ve completely made up my mind to take the trip. I get excited about teaching myself Korean and spend hours and hours online learning about the culture.

Other days, I’m an emotional wreck, terrified that I’m making the wrong decision.

What if I get homesick? What if I’m supposed to be doing something else? What if I don’t like kimchi? What if? What if? What …

6 Tips to Tame Negative Thoughts (So You Can Live a Less Limited Life)

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“You are your choices.” ~Seneca

Lately I‘ve been feeling a bit down in the dumps. A few things have happened at work to make me feel like nothing’s going my way.

I’m guessing that pretty much everyone experiences weeks like this from time to time. You know, where it feels like the whole world is against you. No matter what you do, nothing goes right.

This has been my life for the past few weeks.

And my initial reaction was to feel sorry for myself. To retreat to the safety of self-pity where nothing’s my fault—it’s simply the world ganging …