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Finding a Job You Love: 5 Things You Need to Do

By in Blog, meaning & passion, work fulfillment

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” ~Confucius

I once worked for a big international consultancy firm (okay, it’s McKinsey, don’t tell anyone) and hated it.

Everyone told me how lucky I was to have that job. They went on and on about how prestigious it was, how I got to travel the world, work with executives on the big topics, and hang out with brilliant colleagues.

As much as all of that is true, I still hated the job. Not because of McKinsey, but because of me.

It might …

How to Motivate Yourself Instead of Criticizing Yourself

By in Blog, happiness & fun, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“I define depression as a comparison of your current reality to a fantasy about how you wish your life would be.” ~Dr. John Demartini

I always wanted to do things “right.” I was the little kid at the front of the room, raising her hand for every question. I was great at pushing myself to succeed and please.

My drive to be perfect was an asset through college and law school. I rocked high grades and landed a big firm job right out of school. But that same drive drove me right into a therapist’s office at twenty-five, where I …

Why Being Real Matters More Than Being the Best

By in Blog, love & relationships

“We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.” ~May Sarton

Have you ever compared yourself to others on social media?

You’re not alone if you have. It’s human nature to compare, compete, and seek value in the opinions of others. To aspire to the heights others seem to have attained.

But how real are those people we compare ourselves to really being? The ones who seem to have it all together? Perfect family, ideal job, loving relationship?

I would venture to guess they’re not being very real at all.…

7 Things to Realize When You Think You Don’t Matter

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.” ~Hafiz of Shiraz

Have you ever felt like you didn’t matter?

Were you ever held back from pursuing something because the voice in your head said, “Why bother?”

You’re not alone.

I once felt that way too, but I discovered a way out of that dark time.

In my early twenties, fresh out of college, I had my first professional job interview. I had the blissful optimism and naiveté characteristic of most college grads seeing a world full of infinite …

Review and Giveaway: In the Garden of Happiness

By in Blog, happiness & fun

Update: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen:

Ken Golden

Sandy

Be inspired. Be strong. Be happy.

These words pop from the peaceful imagery on the back cover of Dodinsky’s In the Garden of Happiness, nicely summarizing the benefits of perusing this uplifting illustrated book.

If you’ve read his first book, In the Garden of Thoughts, you know what to expect from this bestselling author: whimsical imagery and powerful wisdom in a deceptively tiny package.

His work provides encouragement when you’re feeling hopeless or helpless; reassurance when you’re feeling insecure or insignificant; and comfort when you’re …

You Don’t Need Other People to Validate Your Feelings

By in Blog, love & relationships

“When you give another person the power to define you, then you also give them the power to control you.” ~Leslie Vernick

It’s coming up on the anniversary of when I left a relationship that was both my unhealthiest and my greatest catalyst for growth.

While I’m able to see that he was a spiritual assignment I needed in order to evolve, I can’t help but feel resentful. But what surprises me isn’t my anger at him; it’s my anger at myself. Let me explain.

Disastrous relationships are nothing new for me. My past is riddled with complicated, codependent, and …

How to Tell When Someone Needs a Friend

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Don’t wait for people to be friendly. Show them how.” ~Unknown

When I was in high school I was shy, to say the least. I guess a more accurate description would be to say that I was insecure. Painfully insecure.

Looking back, I don’t know why I cared so much. But I did. I was too insecure to ever say hi to anyone in any of my classes, or to try to sit with anyone new at lunch.

There were even some days when I went through the entire school day without speaking a word. I felt utterly alone …

4 Tips to Live a Balanced, Happy Life with Fewer Regrets

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony.” ~Thomas Merton

Balance has become an ever-elusive thing these days. The onslaught of technological breakthroughs, aimed at making life easier, has given way to a societal expectation that we are available around the clock.

This has bled into our careers, where our employers have ever increasing expectations that we can do more in less time. We have 168 hours in our week to sleep, work, rest, be with our loved ones, and pursue personal interests.

Unfortunately, the majority of people in the world today …

How to Change Your Life by Changing the Stories You Tell Yourself

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.” ~Norman Vincent Peale

I used to watch people on the streets and in restaurants and think that their boisterous conversations and broad smiles were evidence that they lived a life much better than mine.

I assumed that they were happier than me, smarter than me, and worth more than me. All around me was evidence that this was true: my meager bank account, my junky car, my thrift store clothes.

I would sit in my apartment and try to imagine what it would be like to be someone else.

I wondered what …

How to Intentionally Embrace Change in the New Year

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Change is inevitable. Growth is intentional.” ~Glenda Cloud

What do you do when you come to the end of a calendar year as it approaches the start of another one? Do you get caught up in the festive season hype and then, as you roll into the new year, find it all a bit anticlimactic? Or, are you a bit like me and prefer to keep it a quieter, reflective time?

We know that calendar time is really artificial, for true time is simply an infinite and continuous cycle of day and night, seasons, birth and death, and change.…

Why We Feel Stuck in Life and the Secret to Dealing with It

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings.” ~Dale Carnegie

We’ve all felt like we’re drowning in mud.

You feel stuck, worthless, and confused.

You want to move. You should. You have to. But you can’t.

And then it evolves into anxiety, fear, and overwhelm.

But what if—just what if—being stuck isn’t the problem, but how we perceive it?

The Truth About Being Stuck

Every year, I have periods where I feel “stuck.”

Yet when I look closer, I see that “being stuck” is a label I give to a natural part of …

Your Worth Is Not Dependent on What You Do or Accomplish

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“A life’s worth, in the end, isn’t measured in hours or money. It’s measured by the amount of love exchanged along the way.” ~Unknown

I’ve had a go-go-go personality for as long as I can remember. I think I was born with it.

Both of my parents were small business owners who truly believed that with enough hard work and heart-and-soul dedication, you can accomplish anything.

By the age of three, I was a gymnast; by early elementary school, a competitive one, with a coach who was constantly (and sometimes aggressively) pushing me to the next level.

Therein began the …

4 Simple Ways to Slow Down So You Don’t Rush Through Life

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“If you surrender completely to the moments as they pass, you live more richly those moments.” ~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Throughout my life, a deep voice within has constantly asked me to slow down.

Don’t get me wrong; I thrive when I have deadlines, when I have to push myself to get somewhere. I love being quick in what I do.

However, over the last ten years of living like a workaholic and then having to find a semblance of quiet after the birth of two adorable babies, I have begun to realize that being quick in what we do …

How to Know If You’re with the Right Person

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.” ~Walter Anderson

I’m not actually interested in telling you if you’re with the right person. I’m interested in you discovering who you really are. If you’re not in the right relationship, you probably shouldn’t try so hard to make it “work.” Sometimes the right thing to do is walk away.

But the big gap here is in the knowing. The knowing if it’s right or not. The truth is that you don’t actually need somebody …

9 Things to Tell Yourself When You’re Afraid to End a Relationship

By in Blog, letting go, love & relationships

“F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours.” ~Zig Ziglar

No matter how old I get, no matter how experienced I become, ending a relationship is agonizing.

It represents a loss, and losses hurt.

Deep down, I know if I go through with it, I’ll feel freer—well, not right away, but in a little while anyway—but I’d rather crawl under a rock and ignore the whole thing.

When I was a teen, I went out with a guy who had a major crush on me, although I wasn’t attracted to him. …

Releasing Labels: Be What You Love, Not What You Do

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” ~Brené Brown

I thought I was supposed to have a shiny job, the kind that makes people envious at cocktail parties.

We had moved with my husband’s job again. I think it was move number six out of nine and we were over at a friend’s house. There were people I didn’t know there, and I could feel myself avoiding them in case they asked “the question.”

The question was “So,” (pause to look at drink), “what do …

6 Things to Do Instead of Comparing Yourself to Others

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Do not judge by appearances; a rich heart may be under a poor coat.” ~Scottish Proverb

I grew up believing I was never enough. Ever. Not when I got all A’s in school. Not when I was in the talented and gifted program. Not when my father made more than enough money for me to buy whatever I wanted.

I became an adult who compared herself to others too, always wondering why I didn’t have what they had or why I wasn’t as pretty or as cool.

I brought this behavior into my relationships and my business. I would get …

70 Ways to Make Others Feel Special

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Be the person that makes others feel special. Be known for your kindness and grace.” ~Unknown

There is someone in my life that has an extraordinary talent for making people feel special. I would call him out by name, but he’s a fairly private person, so we’ll just call him “E.”

It’s not that E makes people feel that they are somehow greater than others. He recognizes what’s special about everyone he encounters, and through his attention, kindness, and generosity, brings out the best in them.

He doesn’t do this through grand gestures, and not with expectations of receiving anything …

Practicing Loving-Kindness Even When (Especially When) You Are Hurting

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.” ~Charles Dickens   

All of us have been hurt or angered by someone’s words at some point. Some words are blatantly cruel, and others are deceptive, appearing to be in our best interest but only ever leading us astray. These are the messages that leave us questioning who we are or how we should be.

I’ve been labeled timid and stuck-up. Speak up more, but stop interrupting. Be more assertive, but don’t complain. Be more outgoing, but be authentic.

I’ve been called …

Transforming Shame Into Love, One Good Deed At A Time

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“No one is useless in the world who lightens the burdens of another.” ~Charles Dickens

A few years back, I saw a sticker that read, “Be the change you wish to see in the world. –Gandhi.”

My knee-jerk reaction was annoyance because the sticker was affixed to the bumper of a car that turned left in front of me. I was in the middle of a long stretch of bad days, so pretty much anything would have set me off.

My search for happiness during that bleak period seemed fruitless, most likely because I didn’t know that happiness is not …