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7 Ways to Cope With the Grief of Heartbreak

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~C.S. Lewis

Shock. That was the first feeling. Shock and disbelief.

This isn’t really happening. Denial.

Look into her eyes. Slow realization. I’m not dreaming. Fear.

Wave upon wave of torrential sadness. Messy.

We’d been in a long-distance relationship, and as far as I was aware, everything was inutterably perfect. I was as happy as I’d ever been; I was in love.

For months, I’d been planning to travel across the country to see her. …

Why You Deserve to Applaud Yourself

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“I have done my best. That is all the philosophy of living one needs” ~Lin-yutang

Take a break and take a look in the mirror. Look at yourself and smile while you congratulate yourself for everything you have been through, good or bad, ups and downs.

It doesn’t matter whether you climbed Mount Everest, learned French in Paris, completed medical school, worked at the local grocery store, or “simply” lay on the sofa for far longer than you had planned in order to figure out your life’s purpose and goals.

The main point is that everything that you have been …

Give Back to Others by Giving to Yourself First

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” ~Dalai Lama

I looked out my window and saw only sand. I was on a Beechcraft 1900 turboprop flying into Baghdad in the fall of 2003.

The U.S. had invaded six months prior and was occupying the country. From day one, I loathed the idea of invading a sovereign country, so as my plane spiral landed to avoid surface-to-air missiles, I said to myself, “Why am I here?”

From the youngest age, I wanted to give back—stop war, end poverty, ease suffering.

Upon graduating from …

Win a Free Copy of Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself

By in Blog, love & relationships

UPDATE: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. 

The winners:

  • Antwanette Miller
  • Rebecca

This may seem like Déjà vu, because I published an almost identical post last Friday. It’s now a new week (soon to be weekend) and a new chance to win a copy of Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself!

For those of you who already bought a copy, I hope you’re enjoying it!

And I have a special request for you: Since it’s brand new, there are currently only four reviews on Amazon. (Thank you so much to those of you who responded to …

4 Massive Motivation Killers and How to Overcome Them

By in Blog, change & challenges, healthy habits

“Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.” ~Robert H. Schuller

For the entirety of my life I have had an external source of structure.

I’ve very much thrived when both guided and held accountable by others. You could say that I’m a “systems” friendly person and have always felt safe and secure when I can simply follow the guidelines or instructions and then arrive at the intended destination.

The only problem is that I didn’t always create the “intended” destination. In fact, it usually wasn’t even where I wanted to be. It was where I thought I …

15 Reasons to Start Following Your Dream Today

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” ~Unknown

Do you have a dream? A wish? A desire?

Do you ever wake up and wonder: What would it be like to love life?

People can tell you “follow your dream,” but is anyone really doing it?

Not someone in a TV show or movie—a real, living, breathing human, just like you?

Is it possible?

The Depression

Three years ago I couldn’t sleep. Night after night, I’d lie awake at 2am. My heart would pound in my chest.

The anxiety overtook me. I welcomed it. …

Why Accepting Your Imperfections Is a Gift to the World

By in Blog, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~Anna Quindlen

Being yourself seems like it would be an easy thing, right? Just be! But when you’re someone who has lived their life seeking the approval of others constantly, it’s not such an easy thing.

You have to attempt to move past years of trying to appear this way, wondering if people will judge you if do that, or doing your best not to cause waves and avoid conflict.

When you don’t fully understand who your “self” …

When Following Your Passion Makes You Miserable

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now.” ~Robert G. Ingersoll

It seems that in recent years people have really started waking up to the fact that they can do what they love, which is great. But what’s not so great is when it makes you miserable.

Finding your passion can become another goal to be achieved in the future.

Suddenly you find yourself believing that if you could just find that perfect passion, your life would be perfect and then you’d finally be happy. But life doesn’t work that way.

You already …

Why Letting Yourself Feel Broken is the Key to Feeling Whole

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.” ~Paul Coelho

I spent my twenty-fifth birthday crying alone at the foot of a mountain. While I had always found solace in spending time by myself, in that moment, I did not recognize my “self.”  Without my self, I had nothing.

I was utterly alone.

Three weeks earlier, a man was shot just feet away from my front door. My then-boyfriend and I performed CPR until an ambulance arrived, but the man had been killed on impact. The police left my home at 3 a.m.; …

A Simple Technique to Solve Problems Before They Get Bigger

By in Blog, change & challenges

“As he thinks, so he is; as he continues to think, so he remains.” ~James Allen

It was a beautiful day as we drove down the Desert Road two days after Christmas. The Desert Road is a stretch of highway in the North Island of New Zealand.

On one side of the highway, three magnificent volcanoes provide the only break to the bleak, stark landscape. Otherwise, the ground is covered in dry grasses, rocks, and a straight highway to the horizon.

During the drive, my husband and I were discussing the New Year and what would be the next adventure.…

Are You in Love with the Idea of Being in Love?

By in Blog, love & relationships

“When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~Viktor Frankl

“But no. We can give it another chance; I know we can. We just have to try harder…” were my desperate words to him as he was breaking up with me for the second time.

As I am reading those words out loud, I feel a little sting in my heart. It’s been a while since I revisited this experience and for some reason, it feels bittersweet.

It’s been about nine months since he told me that he didn’t see a future for us, …

10 Ways to Start Living and Loving Life Now

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“I never want to arrive. I love the ride.” ~Coco J. Ginger

This is what life should be, a wonderful journey of living and loving each moment.

I was born in India to a loving, caring family. My mother and my grandparents gave me the world. They kept me hidden from the truths of life and, therefore, life was sweet, as I felt like the most loved child in the world. Now after 38 years of existing (not living) I reflect on where everything went wrong. Why have I felt so lost, broken, and regretful?

I came from a successful …

Why We Struggle to Find Ourselves and How to Do It

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“On a deeper level you are already complete. When you realize that, there is a playful, joyous energy behind what you do.” ~Eckhart Tolle

For a long time I’ve had a bit of an obsession with coming home. Not my physical home, but Home with a capital H. Being with myself. Knowing who I was. Leaning back into me and having that “ah” feeling of being totally whole, and totally at peace.

I felt like there was something missing, and that I needed to find that missing piece to complete the puzzle.

I thought that if I found the right …

Embracing Change and Living with Passion: Awaken your Phoenix Spirit

By in Blog, change & challenges

“All the wonders you seek are within yourself.” ~Sir Thomas Browne

As history claims, the phoenix began as a common bird that’s nest caught on fire by the hand of a god-like figure. As the fire started to consume the bird, instead of suffering, she decided to dance in the flames.

Eventually, the fire reduced the bird to ashes. However, this was not the end of that wise bird, for she knew her ending was only the beginning—the beginning of something greater than what she ever thought possible, a resurrection.

The seemingly done-for bird emerged, more powerful and more …

Book Giveaway: Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself

By in Blog, love & relationships

UPDATE: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. They are:

  • Sunny Kharbanda
  • UnicaPoet

It’s been 10 days since the launch of Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself, and I’m excited to share that the book has been a bestseller in Amazon’s self-esteem category since then.

For those of you who already bought a copy, I hope you’re enjoying it!

And I have a special request for you: Since it’s brand new, there’s currently only one review on Amazon. Those reviews go a long way in influencing people who may benefit from the book.

If you’ve found the …

A Simple Process to Deal with a Hypercritical Mind

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

“I can’t believe I screwed this up again!”

“Why did I do that?”

“This is all my fault!”

The third grader ruminated as he walked away from the soccer field where his team had tied, two to two. It was their sixth tie in seven games.

The lone game that was not a tie was a loss. According to this young man, his team’s record was a direct reflection of his worth; therefore, verbal self-deprecation was the only response one should have after such failure.

His …

Silencing Your Inner Critic: You Don’t Need to Torture Yourself to Grow

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“You yourself, as much as anyone in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

I was tortured by self-hatred for most of my life.

There were aspects of myself that I had a hard time loving. I didn’t like that I am competitive, that I was not a blonde with blue eyes, that I am not good at math or managing money.

I did everything I could to hide these things. I was over-caring, over-helping, and over-accommodating others.

I think I did a pretty good job of not being myself. This created additional psychic pain in me. I …

Stop Assuming the Worst: Your Thoughts Shape Your Reality

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts.” ~Buddha

My morning bicycle ride had been uneventful until I spotted a small lump in the middle of the bike path. It wasn’t a twig, a dead mouse, or a smelly “gift” from a dog, which are some of the most common sightings during my rides.

It was a perfect, intact slice of bread.

In a nanosecond, my mind created several versions of how this piece of bread had ended up where it was.

I pictured a young mother pushing a stroller and her two-year-old tossing the …

Forgiving In a Situation That Feels Unjust

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go, love & relationships

“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ~Unknown

There I was: numb from a conclusion of a dismissal based on a finding that there was “no reasonable prospect of success.”

Harassed, bullied, victimized, stalked both in-person and online, the Human Rights Tribunal tossed me into another discarded pile of victims to be ignored by the courts because a group of goons were cleaver enough to hide the body of proof.

My assailants comprised of four individuals. One was a divorced teacher …

Patience Is a Virtue but Don’t Wait to Be Happy

By in Blog, happiness & fun, love & relationships

“Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever; you just have to live.” ~Natalie Babbitt

And don’t wait to say what you need to say. And don’t wait to live the life you want to live.

Yesterday we lost a dear friend to cancer. Ken was sixty-eight. Five months ago he and I hung out on the beach drinking out of coconuts with a straw. We were at a personal growth retreat that my husband and I conduct every winter in Mexico.

He was the happiest I had ever seen him …