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Becoming Ourselves: How Powerful Decisions Shape Who We Are

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.” ~H. Jackson Browne

I decided to have a homebirth late in my first pregnancy, well into the third trimester. All through the first six months I flip-flopped back and forth, first buying into the message that hospitals were safe for births and homes were not, and then feeling profoundly certain that the best environment in which to have my baby was at home.

The truth is, before I was pregnant I hadn’t thought much about birth. I started my birthing journey wanting to be in charge …

Overcoming Shame at Work When You’ve Made Big Mistakes

By in Blog, work fulfillment

“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” ~ African proverb

Hitchen’s Kitchen. It sounds like a diner straight out of a romance novel. But there I was standing in yes, the kitchen, getting my first dressing down at my first paying job.

At sixteen I had screwed up waiting tables. I got the special of the day, swiss steak, mixed up with sirloin. And so I kept putting in tickets ordering sirloins and the cook kept on grilling them.

And then it struck. The customers were happily eating sirloin while paying the “special of the …

Love Yourself, Accept Yourself, Forgive Yourself

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.” ~Leo F. Buscaglia 

You mean I am a source of many wonderful things?

Yes. Actually you are. Own up to it.

Leo has it right.

Love yourself.

Despite all the things that you think may be terribly wrong with you, love yourself. Love yourself.

Tattoo it on your brain.

I can think of so many reasons why you should love yourself, but here’s just one: It is incredibly dull and uninspiring to be around people who …

I Hate Hugging: Getting Over the Fear of Intimacy

By in Blog, love & relationships

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ~E.E. Cummings

I was a shy kid. My mom said that when I was in pre-school, the teacher asked all of the kids to hold hands and I said, “No thanks, I’ll just hold my own.”

That may have been the beginning of my aversion towards human contact. As a kid, I remember grandparents, aunts, and uncles giving me big horrible hugs. If I didn’t blatantly push them away or wiggle free, I stood there stiff as board, until the torture was over.

They thought this was adorable …

When You Keep Learning Instead of Taking Action

By in Blog, meaning & passion

“Begin, be bold, and venture to be wise.” ~Horace 

It was day five without food, meditating in a cave in the Sahara desert.

In 2009, I skipped out on two weeks of my senior year of college to go to the desert.

Ever since I was a young I had been into exploring the boundaries of the self. I had always wanted a period of time when I could totally be alone for days—not a word spoken to me, where I could go deeper into my mind than ever before until I simply evaporated.

So there I was.

Just the …

Interview and Giveaway: The Game of You by Lynn Zavaro

By in Blog, Giveaway, happiness & fun, meaning & passion, mindfulness & peace

Update: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly updates and to learn about future giveaways!

The winners:

Lynn Zavaro has very quickly become one of my greatest role models.

When she first submitted a post to Tiny Buddha (50 Creative Questions to Help You Create the Life You Want) I felt like she was living inside my head.

Lynn realizes that the most important factor for our happiness is coming to know ourselves—and she also understands the internal blocks that hold …

10 Ways Overcome Conflicts in Relationships and Grow Together

By in Blog, love & relationships

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

About six months into a serious relationship with my boyfriend, we started experiencing major conflict. Fighting over small things, flipping out over misunderstandings, we just couldn’t seem to get on the same page about anything. This caused me to think about relationship conflict in general, what causes it, and how to deal with it.

It’s clear that relationship conflict occurs because expectations aren’t being met. Each person comes into a relationship with certain expectations. These are based on past experiences, childhood, or how you think things should…

Getting Back Up After You Fall

By in Blog, change & challenges

“If you get up one more time than you fall, you will make it through.” ~Chinese Proverb

Last year I had emergency open heart surgery. Shortly after the procedure, two nurses entered my room and gave me terrible news: I had to walk.

That may not sound like a big deal, but open heart surgery is brutal. Simple things like being able to sit up or change position once my backside became sore were agony. Getting to the walker, a mere several steps away from my bed, was an extreme effort.

My goal was to walk around the nurse’s station, …

Introducing the Tiny Buddha Book Store

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

I’m pleased to announce that Tiny Buddha now has a book store! We’ve partnered with Sounds True to offer a wide range of inspiring books, instructional DVDs, and audio learning courses that support personal growth and spiritual awakening.

A percentage of all sales made through this store will support Tiny Buddha’s continued growth.

Sounds True was founded in 1985 by Tami Simon with a clear mission: to disseminate spiritual wisdom. This independent multimedia publishing company now features a library of more than 600 titles by such well known spiritual teachers as Eckhart Tolle, Pema Chödrön, and Jon Kabat-Zinn.

Categories …

Knowing When to Walk Away from Unrequited Love

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Love does not obey our expectations; it obeys our intentions.” ~Lloyd Strom

To say that love hasn’t obeyed my expectations would be the understatement of the century.

I have not been lucky in love. I’ve been blessed with some amazing moments over the years, but somehow have managed to choose partners who did not want what I wanted, did not feel what I felt, and did not want to walk beside me into a future together.

I have really had to sit with this and try and figure out what part of this was my doing, and how to change …

Listen to the Moment: Knowing What to Do Now

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything.”  ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Today, out of the blue, I got two connection-request messages on LinkedIn from two children’s authors. I don’t know either one, personally. I’m not involved with children’s literature. Why was I receiving these requests? I could have thought, “That’s strange” and just let it go. Instead, I explored how this unusual coincidence might relate to what was going on in my life at that moment.

For a few days, I’ve been having the urge to write something new and have done nothing about. …

Stop Pushing: The Art of Relaxed Achievement

By in Blog, meaning & passion, work fulfillment

“Some people think it’s holding that makes one strong—sometimes it’s letting go.” ~Unknown

A few weeks ago, I took a sip of my morning tea hoping that the day would be better than the prior ones. I had somehow tripped over the cracks of life and couldn’t seem to pull myself back. I had woken up feeling eager to start a new day, but like every other day of my life, within the first few hours, things had gotten off track.

I was stuck in a downward vortex of fear, anxiety and self-ridicule. I read my Yogi tea bag message, …

The Real Measure of Your Wealth

By in Blog, meaning & passion, work fulfillment

“The real measure of your wealth is how much you’d be worth if you lost all your money.” ~Unknown

A wonderful story from the yogic tradition highlighting the true meaning of wealth goes something like this:

There was once a beggar who spent his days sitting under an old banyan tree on the side of a dusty road that led to a bustling town. The man had been begging in that spot for years, rattling an old tin can hoping that passers-by would feel compassion and offer alms.

Yet, at the end of each day he would only have collected …

How to Meditate at Any Time without Meditating

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Flour. Salt. Water. Yeast. As I push the warm, soft dough against my palm, I feel the cold stone countertop underneath. I feel my hips leaning up against the cabinets. I hear my breath inside my head.

As I knead the dough, it changes. The dough becomes more elastic and flexible, ready to rise and be baked into a crusty loaf.

As I make bread, I change. My thoughts go quiet. I come into the now.

I have struggled with an inconsistent …

Choose Love, Choose Life

By in Blog, love & relationships

“I believe that every single event in life that happens is an opportunity to choose love over fear.” ~Oprah Winfrey 

Facing fear came in the form of the death of my father in 1997. He was diagnosed HIV positive and at the time, the world saw this as a death sentence, and so it was.

His goal became to find a level of peace, a level of contentment about what was happening to his body, his mind, and in his soul in preparation for leaving this life. He enlisted my help to choose when and how to die.

I …

Giveaway: Pema Chodron Uncertainty and Change Virtual Retreat

By in Blog, Giveaway

Update: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for daily or weekly emails to learn about future giveaways!

The winners:

Last week, Shambhala Publications contacted me to let me know about their upcoming retreat with Pema Chödrön, Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change.

An ordained Buddhist nun, Pema is best known for her many books and courses on meditation and Tibetan Buddhism, including When Things Fall Apart and The Fearless Heart: The Practice of Living with Courage and Compassion.

Her upcoming three-day retreat will take place at the …

How to Stop Being a Victim and Start Creating Your Life

By in Blog, change & challenges

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die.  And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”  ~Eleanor Roosevelt

“They” say things happen at the “right” time. For me hearing a presentation, live, by Jack Canfield, came at the perfect time.

I was in San Diego, the traveling babysitter for my precious 5-month old granddaughter, while my daughter attended a nutrition conference. It was an all around win-win situation—a new place to sightsee and of course spend quality (alone) time with baby Rachel and daughter Penina.

When I …

12 Gifts You Can Enjoy Now: Improve Your Outlook on Life

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~ Mary Engelbreit

About 10 years ago, I started on a journey any college dropout would embark on to quell the little voices in my head that said, “If you want to be happy, earn good money, and validate your choice of quitting college, you better get moving.”

This epiphany fueled my mission. What was my mission of choice?

Get rich quick schemes. The guy on the TV said it would work so it must be legitimate, right? Needless to say, …

Realizing Your Self-Worth and Believing in Your Path

By in Blog, meaning & passion, work fulfillment

“Your outlook on life is a direct reflection on how much you like yourself.” ~ Lululemon

“My existence on this earth is pointless.”

That thought crossed my mind every night before I fell asleep.

It had been several months since I graduated from high school and I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. My future plans were falling to pieces, and everyone around me kept telling me that I needed to start accomplishing things that I had not yet accomplished.

I was not where I thought I should be in life. Everyone had expectations …

Cherish Your Challenges and Find Your Authentic Self

By in Blog, change & challenges, happiness & fun

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” ~Bernice Johnson Reagon

My quarter-life crisis kicked into high gear about six months ago.

Take this as evidence: I quit my job. I quit my apartment and moved back home. I quit booze and boys. I quit gluten and sugar. I quit friendships I’d imagined would last a lifetime.

I’m not asking for an A+ or gold stars for my “self” work. I wasn’t hit by a spark of spiritual lightening and magically committed to this transformation. In a lot of ways, the …