Meditation Happens When…
Create New Opportunities by Challenging Your Judgments and Reactions
“Taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them.” ~Byron Katie
“Alright, it’s time to break into groups,” said the professor.
Immediately, I thought, “I hate group work. I can’t trust other students.” Before even meeting the other members of the group, I was sabotaging the opportunity with negativity.
How often do you do this?
The six of us waited, looking at each other with blank faces.
“Okay, now it’s time to pick a group leader,” said the professor. “Each group will be assigned a psychologist to present his or her major contributions to psychology. …
A Flash Mob of Love for a Terminal Cancer Patient
In 2012, Amy was diagnosed with stage 3C metastatic cancer. After surgery and months of chemo, her family thought she was in the clear.
Recently, the family learned the cancer returned, and this time it would be terminal.
On the day before Amy’s fifty-sixth birthday, fifty of her closest family members and friends gathered together to show her—flash mob-style—that she’s surrounded by love.
If you’re anything like me, this video may put tears in your eyes and a smile on your face!
Focus on Yourself Instead of Trying to Change Someone Else
“If you can’t change the circumstances, change your perspective.” ~Unknown
I was the one who was the designated driver in high school and college. I wanted to be in control of how I arrived and left a party. Besides, the taste of alcohol did not please, so it was a win-win situation in my mind.
Then, a decade later, I found myself dating someone who was addicted to drugs. I thought if he could just hang around me, see how I found joy without being altered by substances and bask in my love, then he could stay sober.
In the …
The Secret to Getting Along With Your Parents
“My experience is that the teachers we need most are the people we’re living with right now.” ~Byron Katie
Nothing hurts like being misunderstood, and there is no place that this feeling runs rampant quite like it does with family.
I used to think I was the only one.
For years after I moved out, each visit back home would be preceded by careful, specific preparation. I would try to brace myself for whatever would be coming my way.
I would spend the entire two-hour bus ride turning all of the possible criticisms and probable arguments over and over in …
What Babies Teach Us About Self-Image and Letting Go
“The intensity of the pain depends on the degree of resistance to the present moment.” ~Eckhart Tolle
The nurse found me slumped behind the soda machine.
“Honey, are you okay?” she asked, brow crinkled in nervous response to my (apparently louder than I’d realized) sobs.
I nodded, answering in messy sniffles. The nurse, not entirely convinced, assured me that if I needed anything, she’d be at the desk just around the corner.
I remained crouched in my not-so-perfect hiding place a while longer, waiting until my breaths no longer shook to trudge back to my mom’s hospital room. The news …
Why Self-Pity is Harmful and How to Let It Go
“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have—life itself.” ~Walter Anderson
Some of us experience more adversity and painful events in our lives than others. We wonder why our difficulties don’t happen to the “bad” people out there instead of us. Unfortunately, life is not fair.
Awful things happen. Dreadful circumstances or tragedies will affect most of …
Finding Our Inner Child and Having More Fun in Life
“A healthy attitude is contagious but don’t wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.” ~Tom Stoppard
Just the other day, I was at my daughter’s school to watch her participate in a spelling bee. As the kids came into the room, I took notice of their manner and their faces.
They looked excited, frightened, and some, decidedly uninterested. The teacher led them over to their area and promptly told them to sit on the floor, in two straight lines, and no talking please. They complied.
Some kids pushed at the others to “move over!” Some held …
To This Day: An Inspiring Video About Pain, Loneliness, and Beauty
If you’ve ever been bullied, if you’ve ever felt ugly, if you’ve ever felt lonely, or unworthy, or unlovable, then you and I can relate. We are graduating members from the class of “we made it.” And like me, you may find this video powerful, moving, and beautiful.
Letting Go of Yesterday and Using the Gift of the Present
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.” ~Alice Morse Earle
Did you make a mistake yesterday? Or did something bad happen to you a few weeks ago? Are you still dwelling on it, doing all you can to move on? Then this post is for you.
Why? Because I want you to know that you’re not alone.
Just like you, my past wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns. No one in this world has a past that is sparkling clean and error-free. We’ve all made mistakes. That’s …
How to Strengthen Relationships by Releasing Fear and Control
“To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is: a dissatisfaction with self.” ~Joan Didion
When I was a young man I had an issue with relationships. Looking back now, it is easy to see that I had low self-esteem, though I could not see it at the time. Because of my low self-image and my neediness, many relationships that could have had a decent chance went by the way side.
I developed a low-level anxiety about how much any girlfriend cared for me, which, in turn, became outright jealousy and resulted in controlling behavior.
I would …
Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen
This one’s an oldie—which feels bizarre to write in reference to the nineties, since I graduated from high school then—but it’s a good one, nonetheless.
The words come from an essay written by Mary Schmich, a columnist with the Chicago Tribune, who believes that “inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out.”
If, like me, you’re seeing this for the first time, you may also appreciate the powerful nuggets of wisdom in here—even if, like me, you feel it’s been forever since you tossed your cap into the air.
How Gratitude Can Calm Your Nerves and Make You More Effective
“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.” ~Cicero
Being grateful or practicing gratitude has many benefits, including improving our health, relationships, careers, sleep, and self-esteem, to name just a few.
In recent years, these benefits have been confirmed in scientific studies showing how the brain is “rewired” by continuous grateful thoughts.
However, I recently discovered (and experienced) another significant, and I believe mainly overlooked, benefit of being grateful—in the somewhat unusual setting of a major seniors championship tennis tournament I played in Palm Springs this past January. I learned that:
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.