Top 5 Regrets of the Dying
Why Your Problems Are Not Nearly as Permanent as They Seem
“When we…go back into the past and rake up all the troubles we’ve had, we end up reeling and staggering through life. Stability and peace of mind come by living in the moment.” ~Pam Vredevelt
There is a way in which we tend to view issues in our lives that makes it seem like the issue is a big, scary monster that chases us around everywhere we go.
We have commitment issues. Or we are bad with money. Or we have an eating disorder, we drink too much, or we follow-through too seldom.
We view ourselves and our lives …
How to Redefine Yourself by Letting Go of the Past
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~Maya Angelou
When I was eight years old, my mom had her first mental breakdown. The illusion of a typical suburban family shattered as the household descended into chaos. When the counselors and child protective services stepped in, I knew: I was undeniably different.
When you’re a child, family life is the classroom through which you learn how the world works. Once my mom was hospitalized, I realized how very different my lessons were.
Mortified, I retreated into a …
How Self-Acceptance Enables Us to Connect with Others and the Moment
“By accepting yourself and being fully what you are, your presence can make others happy.” ~Jane Roberts
I recently received one of the nicest compliments from a co-worker.
As nice as it was to hear someone validate all of the hard work I do and recognize my passionate desire to use music as a way empower people, I found that the compliment was just one, all-too-brief moment in a day dominated by schedules, meetings, and not nearly enough time for me to enjoy what was happening around me.
I should have felt great, but I was so distracted by my …
4 Toxic Habits That Can Control Our Lives and Keep Us Unhappy
“We first make our habits, then our habits make us.” ~Charles C. Noble
Until recently, I firmly believed that a classic set of toxic habits consisted of nail biting, smoking cigarettes, and abusing alcohol and drugs.
I completely forgot that there are some behavior patterns that can do equally bad damage to our vital and creative energy, claiming control over our lives and holding us back.
Ignorance is bliss, someone once said. I overstayed my welcome in that state of mind more than once. I thought my bad habits were actually making my life easier, and following the path to …
Nothing Is Impossible: Amazing Ping Pong Player with No Arms
Growing up, I always admired my grandfather, who lost both of his legs to an infection and yet still maintained a positive outlook and a sense of possibility.
He taught me, and many others, that a defeatist attitude is a far worse disability than any physical handicap, and that there’s very little we can’t accomplish if we believe in ourselves and work hard.
Ibrahim Hamato, also a double amputee, is living proof. In this short video, he shares a little about his passion for ping pong, which he’s managed to play—and play exceptionally well—without hands or arms.
Trusting Yourself to Make Decisions Instead of Always Seeking Advice
“To thine own self be true.” ~William Shakespeare
No one knows the real you but you. Sometimes it is true that we don’t know ourselves. That’s because we’ve lost ourselves, or maybe because we never knew ourselves to begin with.
I grew up a long time ago on a hill on Bentley road in Puyallup, Washington. I was a very quiet, shy, and reserved little girl. Today, I am a forty-two-year-old woman. I am still introverted, but I am learning to be more assertive.
As a co-dependent people pleaser, I grew up with a lot of self-doubt and …
How to Be Okay When You Have More Questions Than Answers
“Sometimes questions are more important than answers.” ~Nancy Willard
I love the color orange. It makes me think of a beautiful ripe papaya, the calming shade of a monk’s robe, and the tapered candles my grandfather held in his hands to pray.
I don’t know if it’s simply this or the prayer chants that rose from temples along the rural Lao countryside, but when I think on these things from my childhood, I feel peace.
Do we romanticize our past? Do we sandpaper out the rough, dark spaces in our memories and label them “the good ‘ole days?” Is …
Dealing with Difficult People: 5 Effective, Compassionate Practices
“Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.” ~Eckhart Tolle
It’s morning; you’re in a great mood. You’re relaxed and have plenty of time to practice your morning routine. After a delicious breakfast, you head out to start your day. Then it happens: You encounter a difficult person, and your calm turns to calamity.
We all have encounters with people who prefer to stay miserable, making everything difficult. They exist, and perhaps there was a time in your past when you once where one of those negative people. Perhaps you still can be at times.
As a …
How to Love More and Hurt Less in Relationships
“Our interactions with one another reflect a dance between love and fear.” ~Ram Dass
In my personal experience, I’ve learned that it is sometimes easier to dance this journey of life solo rather than in partnership. Many of us have experienced life both in relationships and outside of them. Both are just as sweet.
I’d like to offer up some lessons I have learned in my dance in and out of relationships:
1. They are not meant to last forever.
Our society seems to put a lot of pressure on the idea that things will last forever. But the truth …
Tending to Your Garden of Thoughts and Keeping Your Mind Weed-Free
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha
Imagine your mind as a garden. Positive thoughts are the beautiful flowers that brighten your life. Negative thoughts are the ugly weeds that spread and suffocate the flowers.
Tending to my garden is an ongoing process.
I’m not into chemical pesticides, but my natural weed killers are yoga, meditation, inspirational reading, and hanging out with positive people.
Sure-fire weed food is worrying about what other people think, taking things personally, and stressing out about situations that don’t …
How to Keep Our Thoughts from Making Us Miserable
“Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” ~William Shakespeare
I thought I knew what happiness was. I experienced it, and did so for a while—that is, what I thought was happiness.
What I was calling happiness was merely an emotion. Emotions, feelings that arise in the body, come into existence when we have thoughts related to them.
When I have certain thoughts having to do with anger, then I will feel, actually physically feel, angry. When I have thoughts that are positive, then I will feel the feeling, or emotion, that we call happiness.
In …
Feel Like You Should Have Accomplished More by Now?
If you’ve ever felt a sense of pressure to hurry up and do something you can feel proud of, or if you’ve ever considered that maybe it’s too late, you will appreciate the message in this inspiring video, titled “Nothing Changes.”
Learning to Forgive Our Imperfect Parents for Their Mistakes
TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of physical abuse and may be triggering to some people.
“Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.” ~Oscar Wilde
I couldn’t tell you if Oscar Wilde’s quote is entirely accurate. You see, my biological parents abandoned me and left me with my grandparents at birth.
Growing up with grandma and grandpa was the best childhood I could have ever imagined, and I didn’t miss my biological parents at all. I guess in that sense they were my parents, and perhaps Oscar Wilde’s …
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