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Everyone in Your Life Is You

By in Blog, love & relationships

 “You validate people’s lives by your attention.” ~Unknown

When my husband and I lived in New Providence, the capital island of the Bahamas, we rented a charming wooden cottage with a sweeping vista of the ocean from a sweet, elderly man who was 88 years old.

Our landlord Leslie lived alone in an elegant house next door to our cottage and I made it a habit to visit him each day, after arriving home from teaching at a local high school.

Leslie was lonely and my heart would ache for him. Having lost his wife a few years earlier, he …

Uplifting Depression: 15 Unexpected Lessons from Adversity

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Two years ago, reading this quote, I would smirk and think, “What a cliché.”

In the last two years, I would read this quote and be in utter disbelief that anything can be learned when one is in the depths of hell.

Today, I read this quote and resonate confidently, that yes, even though I tried to end my life, even though I had to quit a high paying job, even though I still suffer from major depression, good has come out of my …

How Planning Less Can Set You Free

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” ~Anais Nin

Normally my girlfriend and I have a routine for Saturday mornings:

She goes to yoga at eleven AM and then heads into Central London to do a small amount of shopping, and perhaps visit a museum. I might get up, do some writing in the morning, tidy the flat, and then take a dance class at 1PM. These are routines we enjoy, …

Interview and Giveaway: Love for No Reason by Marci Shimoff

By in Blog, Giveaway, love & relationships

Update: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha to receive free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The winners:

You know that open-hearted, safe feeling of being in the presence of someone you love and trust? Have you ever wondered if you could bottle that and feel it later, when you were alone?

What about that connected, fulfilled feeling of loving someone else passionately and unconditionally? Have you ever wondered if you could sustain that whether you were in a relationship or not?

Bestselling author Marci Shimoff (who also …

What Dogs Teach Us about Peace, Joy, and Living in the Now

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.” ~Marianne Williamson

Are you a dog lover? I know I am.

Animals of all kinds can bring us so much joy, not only when things are going well, but also when we feel pain and are suffering.

“Man’s best friend” can be our true and faithful companions through thick and thin. We look to our pets when we are ready to play and laugh, and they instinctively know when we need their support.

I’ve had a dog most of my life. From purebreds …

4 Steps to Address How You Really Feel

By in Blog, happiness & fun, mindfulness & peace

“Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed.” ~ Buddha

I am a very emotional person. I suspect I feel things about ten times more intensely than the average person.

When I’m sad, I’m really sad. When I’m stressed, I’m really stressed. When I’m nervous, I’m really nervous.

Some people would call it being dramatic. I simply call it a genuine aspect of my personality.

I’ve noticed that I have this awful habit of masking …

10 Journaling Tips to Help You Heal, Grow and Thrive

By in Blog, change & challenges

“The more light you allow within you, the brighter the world you live in will be.” ~Shakti Gawain

Keeping a journal has many positive benefits. Journaling can help with personal growth and development. By regularly recording your thoughts you will gain insight into your behaviors and moods.

Journaling can be used for problem-solving and stress reduction. It’s been proven to improve mental and physical health. It can lead to increased self-esteem.

Dr. John Grohol, CEO of Psych Central, estimates that one in three people suffer from a mental illness.  Anxiety disorders, mood disorders and substance abuse can be …

Whatever You’re Going Through, Hold On

By in Blog, change & challenges

“The world is full of suffering. It is also filled with overcoming it.” -Helen Keller

Even though I am just 16, I’ve lived my short life with so much pressure, which I’ve finally realized comes from me.

During my life, I have lived through more challenges than most teenagers, and at times I didn’t think I could handle it.

My life has never been easy. My parents broke up when I was two years old because my father was unfaithful to my mother. It was hard. The rancor between two people can last decades. And now, 14 years later, they …

Interview and Giveaway: Six Simple Rules for a Better Life

By in Blog, Giveaway, happiness & fun

Note: This winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

It’s often occurred to me that the most important components of my peace and happiness are actually quite simple. When I start feeling overwhelmed or unbalanced, it’s generally because I’ve complicated things and lost touch with what truly matters.

This is precisely why I loved reading David J. Singer’s book Six Simple Rules for a Better Life: it offers practical wisdom by focusing on the simplest of ideas—which we …

The Fear of Change or the Thrill of Something New?

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” ~Andre Gide

I’ve lived in Virginia all my life. Pretty much all that I remember at least.

I was a young boy when my parents moved here from Long Island, New York—away from much of our family—because life in the place they had grown up just didn’t provide the opportunities necessary to support a family of six.

Since then, nearly my entire extended family has followed—most of my aunts and uncles, and their children, and their children. And though they may live in Virginia, …

Create Solutions, Not Resolutions

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

With the New Year approaching, resolutions are on everyone’s mind.

I’ve never liked the word “resolution.” As defined in the dictionary, resolution means “a firm decision to do or not do something,” and anyone who’s ever done, well, anything knows that life rarely works like that.

I prefer to think of my January decisions as New Year’s solutions. Defined in the dictionary as “a means of solving a problem or dealing with a difficult situation,” solutions are …

Tiny Buddha Book Giveaway and Top 10 Insights of 2011

By in Blog, change & challenges, Giveaway, happiness & fun, healthy habits, letting go, love & relationships, meaning & passion, mindfulness & peace

Important Note: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen! You can purchase Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions on Amazon.com. Also, be sure to subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails!

The winners:

Happy almost 2012!

It’s been an exciting year for Tiny Buddha. For one thing, the community has grown, but what I find most exciting is that the number of people sharing their stories and engaging with other people has increased exponentially.

During the first year, I published two posts from the community per week. In January of …

Learning from the Relationships That Didn’t Work Out

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Stay away from what might have been and look at what will be.” ~Marsha Petrie Sue

In my mere thirty years on this planet, I have had lots of boyfriends. Lots—hundreds. First one: Pat McGovern, first grade. We were in different classrooms, but we each took a casual stroll to the bathrooms at the same time. He leaned his three-foot-two body against the pink tiled wall and waited for me to walk by.

Then, just at the perfect moment, he told me I looked smashing. (It was picture day, so I was slinging the old A game.) This …

How Mistakes Can Set You Free

By in Blog, change & challenges

“If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose for this thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down but the staying down.” ~Mary Pickford

Well, the little blue line was undeniable, and the circumstances unforgettable.

It was Black Friday 2007, after a full day of work during which my nausea rendered me so useless that my coworkers insisted I buy a pregnancy test on my way home.

And there was a line.

But no spouse. No ring. No house. Just a freshly-issued Master’s Degree and …

The Foundation of Love: Releasing Judgments and Expectations

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Love is saying, ‘I feel differently’ instead of ‘you’re wrong.'” ~Unknown

We seek it, want it, need it, yet it eludes so many of us: genuine, heart-felt, unconditional love. Not infatuation, lust, or what you think makes you happy, but true intimacy at the level of your soul.

How do we create deep authentic connections with those who matter most? Love seems to come in precious moments that we can’t seem to grasp before time and our busy lives takes their toll. Must we try so hard to make love work? Doesn’t love just flow?

We hear about unconditional love, …

The Courage to Accept Your Own Beauty

By in Blog, happiness & fun, love & relationships

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

As I was looking in the mirror, I was feeling the soft curves of my body, all the way down to the flesh on my belly to where it met my hips. I was frowning at my “belly pooch” as I pinched my skin between my fingers. I had a name for my belly pooch and the other not so desirable places on my body.

I called those places “my chubs.”

My partner and I like to …

A Little Care Can Go a Long Way and Make Someone’s Day

By in Blog, happiness & fun, love & relationships

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” ~Plato

Ever since elementary school, I have had a built-in network of friends, family, and colleagues who make up my rock solid foundation of support.

But recently, I’ve been struggling with being alone and desperate for human interaction—more specifically conversation and affirmation; and conversation that includes affirmation of my creative choices would be the holy grail of friendship.

Two months ago I moved to a new city where I knew exactly two people; one was my cousin who I hadn’t seen in over fifteen years and the other …

6 Ways to Find Composure When You Feel Panicked

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” ~Joan Borysenko

I had a terrible morning. I needed to make a short YouTube video to promote my therapy practice, and I thought it would take twenty minutes at the most.

The technology was more complicated than I thought. I struggled on, wanting to do it by myself. Half an hour later, I surrendered and asked my husband Kaspa for help.

Two hours later, we were still trying to make it work.

I started thinking about all the other things I was meant to be doing that morning. …

Letting Go of the Fear of Uncertainty and Embracing Adventure

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“Each time you stay present with fear and uncertainty, you’re letting go of a habitual way of finding security and comfort.” ~ Pema Chodron

Being the thought-out planner with a neatly plotted road map—and a compass tightly gripped in one hand, pointing due north—I cringe a bit (okay, a lot actually) at the thought of changing direction, being adventurous, and going off the beaten path.

I’ve purposefully designed my external life for security—the cushy job, maximizing the 401K, additional streams of income to insulate the extra-super-comfy-security, a large home for a future family, long-time childhood friends, and a solid marriage.…

On Tough Choices: How to Make Peace with Your Decision

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.” ~Unknown

After four years, four months and seven days of a long distance relationship with a mountain guide (between my NYC apartment and Maine, northern New Hampshire, Jackson Hole, WY, and various other parts of mountainous America), I was at the end of my rope, so to speak.

Being slightly older than him, and much less capable of handling the gaps of two to five weeks between seeing each other, I suddenly felt a strong urge to move on. I was craving the next part of …