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Beyond Sorry: A Better Way to Handle Conflict in Your Relationship

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Sorry isn’t always enough. Sometimes you actually have to change.” ~Unknown

When I was young I was like every other kid, always in and out of trouble. I pushed the boundaries of what was acceptable in order to see what I could get away with. When I pushed, I’d often keep on pushing until someone said “stop.”

During my childhood I heard lots of:

“STOP!!” 

Quickly followed by:

“Say you’re sorry.”

Say those two magical words, “I’m sorry,” and all the pain will go away. Then I’ll be back in the good books and can go play with my friends …

The Healing Power of Nature: How Walking in the Rain Saved My Life

By in Blog, change & challenges, healthy habits, mindfulness & peace

“All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking.” ~Nietzsche

A recent study by the National Academy of Sciences found that a ninety-minute walk in nature slows our worried, troublesome thoughts about ourselves and our lives. Even better, it reduces the neural activity in parts of the brain linked to mental illness.

On the other hand, if you spend your time walking down city sidewalks, don’t expect much. The science says you’ll have no change whatsoever in your neural activity. Or even in your thoughts about yourself.

This means that if you’re inclined to be anxious, depressed, grieving, or …

How to Set Better Boundaries: 9 Tips for People-Pleasers

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal, and necessary.” ~Doreen Virtue

I still have the journal entry that sparked my journey into boundary setting. It says, in striking black pen, “I wish I could speak my truth. If I can learn to speak my truth before I die, I will die a happy woman.”

Dramatic? Maybe. But I was tired of being a pushover, a people-pleaser.

I’d written it the day after I’d been the recipient of unwanted advances at a bar. For thirty minutes, a stranger had engaged me in aggressive conversation, peppered in flirtation, and …

What Expecting to Die Young Taught Me About Living a Happy Life

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“I’ve come to trust not that events will always unfold exactly as I want, but that I will be fine either way. The challenges we face in life are always lessons that serve our soul’s growth.” ~ Marianne Williamson

At the age of nine, I was sitting in a doctor’s office at Baylor University with both of my parents when we were all told I wouldn’t live to see twenty-three. The doctor casually told us my dad would probably never get to walk me down the aisle and I’d likely never make my mom a grandmother, but there was great …

It’s Not Either/Or: The Power of Opening Your Mind and Seeing Both Sides

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“Compassionate listening is to help the other side suffer less.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

In late 2017 my husband and I were both getting ready for work one morning when I casually said, “Hey, I think I’m going to start teaching yoga in the jail.”

Without missing a beat my husband said, “Well, that’s a terrible idea. Why would you do that?”

He gave this comment as a statement, flat and decisive. I had suspected I would get this type of response, so I tried to play it cool, like it didn’t bother me. But it still stung a bit, since …

Adapting to Feeling Unseen: How I’m Navigating a World That Overlooks the Aging

By in Blog, change & challenges

Older
Beautiful inside and out—
Invisible

I gave a little start when those words flashed onto the screen during a presentation by the poet Elizabeth Bradfield. Liz was in the process of describing six-word memoirs, modeled on Hemingway’s heartbreaking story For sale: Baby shoes. Never used.

The photograph showed a wall from the 6 Words Minneapolis project, in which city residents were asked to briefly describe themselves. This entry spoke directly to an experience I’d been having of late but hadn’t quite been able to name.

Consider: I smile at a young couple who are walking with their baby out …

How I Learned to Stop Pushing So Hard and Enjoy the Moment

By in Blog, letting go

“Life is a balance between what we can control and what we cannot. I am learning to live between effort and surrender.” ~Danielle Orner

Over a year ago, I boarded a plane and found myself on the beautiful beaches of southeast Asia. My dream was to travel the world, indefinitely, while working independently and living out of a suitcase. I had worked hard in my life to come to this place, and there couldn’t have been a moment that was more positive for me.

However, as I enjoyed sunbathing on the beautiful beaches, I started to feel weary. It’s hard …

Escape Isn’t Self-Care: What We Really Need to Feel at Peace

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“A pause gives you breathing space so listen to the whispers of the real you waiting to happen.” ~Tara Estacaan

You and I, we’re much too busy. We’re doing too much. We’re stressed. We’re overscheduled and overwhelmed. And we’re not doing enough self-care.

The good thing is there’s help. There are headlines, hacks, and half-baked gurus who promise to bring us to the less-stressed light. And there’s a vast supply of products to help too. Bath salts, wine, essential oils, yoga classes, massages, chocolate cake, books, life coach packages, etc. But sometimes I wonder, are all the articles and products …

10 Ways to Give the Gift of Your Presence (The Best Gift You Can Give)

By in Blog, love & relationships, mindfulness & peace

A couple weeks back I shared a quote on Facebook that really spoke to me:

“A child is going to remember who was there, not what you spent on them. Kids outgrow toys and outfits, but they never outgrow time and love.”

I love this quote because it puts things in perspective, and it’s true not only for kids but for all of us. Sure, shiny things are nice and appreciated, but what we all really want is love, and time with the people who mean most to us.

For those of us who are fortunate, the holidays are all …

How Gratitude Journaling Can Boost Your Mood and Change Your Life

By in Blog, happiness & fun, healthy habits

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” ~Melody Beattie

A few years ago I had an ulcer and I would get dizzy after almost every meal. There was a point when I was afraid to eat. I lost twenty pounds when I didn’t need to lose weight.

I wasn’t sleeping well.

I was a complete wreck inside.

It took me two and half …

How to Tackle Fear and Anxiety Cognitively, Behaviorally, and Spiritually

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“The beautiful thing about fear is that when you run to it, it runs away.” ~Robin Sharma

During my first-grade choir concert, my classmate, Meg, fainted from the top row of the bleachers, and in a subconscious gesture of empathy, I went down right after her, breaking my glasses and flailing on the gymnasium floor.

It’s possible that this triggered some kind of coping mechanism in my brain, because I started fainting again and again.

One time I fainted at the dentist’s office—immediately after the dentist injected me with my first round of Novocain—then months later in a hospital parking …

Lessons from a Life Lost Too Soon: Don’t Let Your Inner Critic Destroy You

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“What you tell yourself every day will lift you up or tear you down. Choose wisely.” ~Unknown

It was a story I just couldn’t get out of my head. A young teen had died in a town not far from where I live, a town where I used to live. I knew people who had kids who knew this girl.

I heard she was a swimmer, bright and popular. At first the talk was about how she’d died. I heard someone surmise that she was killed. Someone else said it was a horrible accident, and of course, there were murmurings …

Creating Calm in the Chaos: How I Found My Peace in NYC

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.” ~Deepak Chopra

I found my peace in New York City, where I spent a year as a consultant on a temporary work assignment.

It may seem counter-intuitive that living in a city targeted by terrorists, clogged with traffic, and punctuated by sirens and honking horns could instill a kind of tranquility unattainable in Minnesota, where I currently live. After all, Minnesota is home to over 10,000 lakes, comforting casseroles of tater tots and cheese, and generations of Scandinavians who make Minnesota “nice.”

So, what is it about the …

Life Is Far Less Painful When We Drop the Story in Our Head

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“You will never be free until you free yourself from the prison of your own false thoughts.” ~Philip Arnold

Every meditator knows the dilemma of trying to find that perfectly quiet place to meditate, where silence is the golden rule and voices hush to a whisper.

Oh how perfect our meditation would be if only everyone would be quiet.

As wonderful as it sounds, we know it just doesn’t always work out that way.

And that’s what made this particular meditation experience so insightful. It gave me an opportunity to see how my judgmental thoughts can make life far more …

How Body-Obsession Made Me Sick and How I Got Better

By in Blog, healthy habits

“You are not a mistake. You are not a problem to be solved. But you won’t discover this until you are willing to stop banging your head against the wall of shaming and caging and fearing yourself.” ~Geneen Roth

I’ve spent so much time on the dieting hamster wheel that I am almost too ashamed to admit it. Throughout my teen years I went from one crash diet to the next. When this proved more than unfruitful and disappointing, I changed strategies.

The next twelve years I spent searching for the “right lifestyle” for me, which would allow me …

Your Enthusiasm is Contagious, So Share Your Passion Loud and Proud

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Enthusiasm is the electricity of life.” ~Gordon Parks

Have you ever noticed how powerful enthusiasm is? It can be contagious.

If a friend or someone around us is enthusiastic there’s a certain energy or presence that shines from them that can be infectious. It doesn’t even matter what they’re enthusiastic about; if we’re in their presence, it’s easy to be lifted up by their energy.

I’ve always loved seeing people express their enthusiasm. It brings such an authentic quality of who they are through the things that excite them. The thing they’re excited about may seem insignificant to others, but …

Why I’m Choosing to Be Happy Now, Not When I Feel Like a Success

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.” ~Alan Watts

I love how instant modern life has become.

When I’m hungry, without really moving, I can instantly get food delivered to me. Pizza, of course. When I’m hungry for knowledge, at the touch of a button on my mobile, I can discover answers to the questions I’m pondering. No need to head to the library to search for and flick …

Grief Isn’t Something You Live Through, It’s Something You Live With

By in Blog, change & challenges, mindfulness & peace

“Obstacles do not block the path, they are the path.” ~Zen proverb

I thought the concept of a “cold sweat” was unreal and paradoxical until the evening of August 27, 2014. That was my first cold sweat. My first of a lot of things.

My heart jack-hammered in my chest.

I heard my pulse in my ears.

I gasped for air on my dorm room floor in New York, while my mom tried to calm me down on the other end of the phone in Los Angeles.

“It’s just a panic attack, sweetie. Just breathe deep.”

No, no, no, …

Introducing Backpack Buddha: Meditation Tools and Spiritual Gifts

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

Hi friends! Since we’re well into December now, I imagine many of you may be either starting or rounding out your holiday shopping. If you’re not yet familiar with Backpack Buddha, I highly recommend checking them out!

What I love about Backpack Buddha is that they not only offer beautiful fair-trade, eco-friendly products, supporting craftsmen and women in Nepal, they also donate 10% of their profits to a number of worthy causes.

Started in 2015, they base their entire business model on good karma, and it shows in how they operate.

Below I’ve shared a number of their products, …

How Mindfulness Is Saving My Relationship

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Mindfulness is about love and loving life. When you cultivate this love, it gives you clarity and compassion for life, and your actions happen in accordance with that.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

I started meditating and practicing mindfulness more seriously several years ago incorporating it in to my daily routine, initially to help with my anxiety. My practice certainly helped me by leaps and bounds in overcoming my anxiety, but an unexpected side effect has been the impact it’s having on my marriage.

We’ve not been married long, and as many couples before us have experienced, getting accustomed to this new …